Fifty Shades of Grey Part 5 - Blind Faith in you
by desktop dragon
Summary: Christian is watching Ana sleep and thinking over their relationship. All from Christian's POV examining his insecurities...with the help of a bit of 80's hair rock. I DO NOT OWN FSOG OR THE MAIN CHARACTERS
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: Originally posted on the site in January 2014 and completed in March 2014.**

**Since I realised how appallingly riddled with typo's my crossover story '**_**Fifty Shades of Crossfire'**_** was, I have decided to go through ALL my complete stories and give them an overhaul. I want to stress this story has NOT been altered in any way, I have just removed typo's I missed the first time around and condensed chapters so there are less but longer chapters to the story.**

**oooOOOooo**

**Fifty Shades of Grey Part V - Blind Faith in you**

**After the numerous requests that I should continue with '**_**Christian' **_**I didn't feel happy about opening up that story as I considered it done, so with this story I have (hopefully) addressed people's desire for more from Christian's point of view. I have not covered the interview as that has been done by E L James and I couldn't possibly better it, so I am picking various moments from Christian and Ana's relationship at random as seen from Christian's point of view. It came to me when I was sorting through my old CD's and came across the CD mentioned in this story and I listened to this song and that was where the seed of the idea came to me. Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 1

I am watching Ana sleeping, she looks so peaceful. Christ I was a complete prick to her tonight, nothing new there Grey, you spend your life being a complete prick to her. My mind goes back to earlier.

We were at a deadly dull corporate dinner, I didn't want to go, Ana definitely didn't want to go, she was tired which is hardly surprising considering she is nearly 8 months pregnant with our first child, and she had a tough day at work, of course I couldn't stop myself making the now familiar crack that she should give up work, that got her fired up determined to show me she was ok and she put on her dress and her brave face and off we went.

I have to say that I love showing off my wife now she is pregnant, since it became obvious she was with her gorgeous little bump, it gave out a clear message to any man in the room, that she was completely mine, and I liked that, there were still the odd few who tried it on, sick fucks - she is pregnant for gods sake, which uncomfortably reminds me of what happened on the journey home. She was absolutely beat, she was falling asleep in the car back to Escala, and she had taken off her heels as they had made her back ache, and the insensitive pervert I am decided I wanted to have sex, what the hell is wrong with me? Anyway she told me in no uncertain terms that it wasn't going to happen and said she was going straight to bed to sleep. I had a meltdown, fuck my brain must be situated in my pants, I can't believe I ordered her give up work, needless to say that didn't go down well. Taylor looked at me like I was some kind of low life, he even shook his head at me. I am now sitting watching her sleep, I love to do this, she looks so relaxed and peaceful, gods she is beautiful, I have no idea what I did to deserve this woman, she must be a saint to put up with my adolescent ways.

"Sir" I look up and see Taylor standing in the doorway to our room.

"Yes?" I whisper I don't want to wake Ana

"Do you have an idea what these boxes are sir?" he asks.

I stand and follow him down the corridor to the old Subs bedroom, and see three cardboard boxes with junk in, I glance inside and shrug.

"It's not mine, it must Ana's, she did say something about having a sort out before the baby came".

Taylor nods "What shall I do with them sir?" he asks politely.

"Leave them for now, I'll ask Ana what she intends to do with them" Taylor nods and makes his way to his office. I can't help but take a look inside, I find some year books and flick through till I find my beautiful Ana staring up at me, I smile she has always been a beauty, not to mention highly intelligent. I have another rummage, and find an old cheap beat up CD player, Christ this looks like it came out the ark, then I remember my baby didn't come from a wealthy family and she had to put herself through college, I smile as I remember when she panicked because the amount due to come out of her account to pay her loans hadn't come out, she was pissed when I told her that I had paid her student loans off, I made sure I did that as soon as she agreed to marry me. I look in the box again and pull out a handful of CD's a very meagre collection, I shake my head, Bon Jovi, Poison, Warrant, Motley Crue, my baby was into 80's hair rock, my Ana was a rock chick I chuckle at the thought, and then think for a moment, hang on she was born in 89, she wouldn't even know about these bands, then I take a closer look and see they are all heavily discounted and realise these were probably all she could afford. I close my eyes, I take the CD player and the CD's and go into my office I hook it up and am shocked when I see it works. I put in the first CD on the pile, I have never really listened to any of this stuff I used to like Metallica a little but I was never really into any of these pretty boys. I glance at the case, Warrant, Cherry Pie, I roll my eyes and cringe, this is going to bad I am sure of it. I am not really listening to it until one song gets my attention, I quickly stop the player and start the song again and listen carefully to it, it's as if it is describing my feelings for Ana. I turn up the volume a little.

_Darlin' I know you're sleepin'_  
><em>But there's something I've just got to say<em>  
><em>Wonder if you'll hear me<em>  
><em>While you're dreamin'<em>  
><em>You make a lifetime<em>  
><em>Out of every day<em>  
><em>Thanks to you now I know<em>  
><em>All my dreams can come true<em>

_Blind Faith in you_  
><em>I got<em>  
><em>Blind Faith in you oh yeah<em>

_Your eyes keep things well hidden_  
><em>Just a hint of what<em>  
><em>You're feelin' inside<em>  
><em>And the first day that I met you<em>  
><em>I consider that the first day of my life<em>  
><em>Thanks to you now I know<em>  
><em>All my dreams can come true<em>

_Blind Faith in you_  
><em>I've got<em>  
><em>Blind faith in you<em>  
><em>And I'm not sure I deserve<em>  
><em>A women so true, but I love<em>  
><em>That you think I do<em>

_With You and Faith, beside me_  
><em>I'm feelin' stronger every day<em>

_Blind faith in you_  
><em>I got<em>  
><em>Blind faith in you<em>  
><em>its true<em>  
><em>Blind faith in you<em> 

_I got_  
><em>Blind faith in you<em>  
><em>And I'm not sure I deserve<em>  
><em>A woman so true but I love<em>  
><em>That you think I do<em>

I replay it a couple more times and I have this urge to see Ana, I switch off the CD player the words of the song still running around my head.

I walk into our room and gently place a kiss on her forehead; I sit beside and watch her. I can't get those damned words out of my head.

_Darlin' I know you're sleepin'_  
><em>But there's something I've just got to say...<em>

I start thinking about all the times I have been a complete prick to her, going back to when I first met her and was in denial that I loved her and just wanted her as a sub, I remember how I beat her to show her how bad it could be and how I recoiled when she told me she loved me I shudder at the memory and again the words from the song haunt my mind.

_...And I'm not sure I deserve_  
><em>A women so true, but I love<em>  
><em>That you think I do...<em>

That was the worst weekend of my life after she told me to get my shit together and left me, I remember seeing the elevator doors close, I was gutted, I felt as though she had reached inside me and ripped everything out, I was nothing without her. I remember going back inside the apartment and walking into our bedroom, I look around it and remember the little package on my pillow, my heart contracts as I remember it, I picked it up and read the card, she had put with it, I realised what I had lost. I think back to that dreadful time...

Shit she has gone, she has left me, I feel like all the lights have gone out, she brought love and happiness into my existence – I say existence as that is what I was doing I'm not living, I don't deserve her I knew she was too good to be with a fucked up prick like me and I have crushed her, I close my eyes and grip the small package in my hands, and for the first time in as long as I remember I sob bitterly.

When I am spent I open the package and a lump comes in my throat a glider, I immediately take it to my study and lock the door, I sit and I make it, it is quite complicated but I need to do this, normally things like this would annoy me and I would lose patience but I need to do this. I hear a knock at the door, I realise I locked it. I wander over and open it, Taylor is standing there, he looks at me.

"Sir I dropped Miss Steele at home, she was very upset sir" he says

I nod, "Thank you Taylor" I say I don't want to hear this, I am responsible for that beautiful girl's unhappiness and it is killing me. "I want to be alone Taylor" I say I turn to return to the model I am building, "Taylor ring Andrea and tell her I won't be going the dinner tonight, make some excuse for me".

"Sir" Taylor says and leaves.

I carry on and I look up surprised I have been building this thing all afternoon I glance out of the window it is early evening. My phone buzzes.

"Christian darling how are you?" the voice is familiar but at this moment unwelcome.

"Elena" I say

"Christian what's wrong?" she asks

I can't control my emotions, shit what is wrong with me, "She left me, I fucked up and she left me" I sob.

"Well it's probably for the best darling if she can't handle your needs she is obviously no good for you" she sounds cold and indifferent, I don't say anything.

"It was my fault" I say

"Oh Christian darling pull yourself together, this girl really got under your skin didn't she, you'll get over it get yourself a nice experienced sub and you will soon forget about her".

"I can't get her out of my mind" I say trying to make her understand.

"Look Christian pull yourself together" she is snapping now. "Get over it, you don't need her I'll see you later at the dinner?" she adds

"No I'm not going" I say quietly

"Christian, you don't need her" she says again.

"I have to go" I say quietly and hang up. I do need her I need her more than I have never needed anything in my life before.

I am back in the present and look at Ana sleeping peacefully, I realise now I loved her from the start, she fell into my office and just beguiled me. Her eyes those beautiful blue eyes, the words from the song creep into my head again.

._..Your eyes keep things well hidden_  
><em>Just a hint of what<em>  
><em>You're feelin' inside<em>  
><em>And the first day that I met you<em>  
><em>I consider the first day of my life...<em>

My mind starts to wander again, the hassle I have given her over Jose; my jealous streak just gets out of control with her. Not to mention my controlling ways, I cringe sometimes when I look at how I behave towards her, I wonder why she puts up with me, I can and do behave so fucking badly.

I think of the time I punished her when she went out with Kate and Hyde broke into the apartment. I was in New York I was pissed that she hadn't come with me, but she assured me she would stay in with Kate, I didn't want to tell her the security issues with Hyde I didn't want anything to worry her.

I remember it as if it was yesterday...

"Sir" Taylor comes up to me and whispers in my ear.

"What is it?" I am at a deathly dull dinner and I am just wishing I was home with Ana.

"Sawyer has just called me; Mrs Grey is at a bar with Miss Kavanagh"

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I stop as everyone looks around at me, I grab my phone and call Ana, she doesn't pick up I am panicking now I try again and again, pick up the fucking phone Ana I move out of the room, and quickly text her, and wait, no response. I run my hands through my hair I am beside myself, I try and get a grip and call Sawyer.

I wait, "Sawyer where are you and what is happening?" I demand

"Miss Kavanagh persuaded Mrs Grey to go to Zig Zags sir; they have been here quite a while now"

"Who is with you guarding her?" I ask

"Prescott sir" he replies, "Do you want me to put Mrs Grey on the phone to you sir?" he asks

"No" I snap, "Sawyer...keep her safe" I say

"Yes sir" he replies I hang up, and push my phone into my pocket, "Taylor we are leaving, now" I say as I stride out of the room.

I am so angry now she has completely disobeyed me, I am ready to spank the shit out of her, I stop and count to ten, I can't do that, she will leave me if I do, at least I have the flight home to try and calm down.

I know I have pissed Taylor off on the flight home, I can't settle, the poor man is trying to get some sleep and I am pacing around like a caged animal. I try and relax I do manage to get some sleep, fuck knows how, but Taylor is waking me he looks anxious.

"Sir, there has been a situation at Escala" I am awake now, what the fuck has happened, I look out of the window we have landed and are taxing to the hanger.

What?" I ask I reach for my phone switching it on.

"Hyde breached the apartment sir, Ryan took him down"

"WHAT THE FUCK" I scream Oh my god Ana, "is everyone ok?" I whisper not recognising my voice I am petrified.

"Yes sir, Mrs Grey was making her way home when it occurred, she called the police when she returned and found Hyde had been apprehended.

I close my eyes, "Shit that's the last thing we need, the police involved, I think suddenly shit what if she had been home, maybe it was a blessing she went out after all, but she disobeyed me, but I put her in danger by telling her to stay in, what the fuck, shit I am so confused, I don't know what to think. I see Ana's voicemail, and listen to it and close my eyes, I can tell by her voice she is afraid, I need to get to her, I still want to spank the shit out of her but that can wait.

We arrive home and Sawyer and Ryan debrief me, I am shocked and so confused right now, I don't know what is right. I leave the room and hear Taylor tearing into Ryan for allowing Hyde access, but privately I think he was incredibly brave, I think Taylor is concerned about Gail thank god I put in that panic room.

I go into our room and see Ana sleeping, she is on my side of the bed I shake my head; I move the chair and sit staring at her. "What the fuck am I going to do with you?" I whisper to myself.

I shiver as that memory is running around my head; I am sitting here in exactly the same chair remembering that night, when Hyde tried to kidnap her. I am doing what I did when I came home that night, after I got back from New York I am sitting with a glass of bourbon in my hand watching my wife sleep, my mind continues to remember that time I close my eyes and it is as if I have been transported back to that time...

Shit I am so fucking angry with her right now, I want to spank the shit out of her, but I can't I daren't she hates that, she will leave me, and I can't risk that, but right at this moment, I am in total turmoil, I am in confusion over my decision to keep her safe in the apartment, fuck she was safer out with Kate, but she disobeyed my orders, Christ what do I sound like? Then on top of that I have been told what that sick fucker wanted to do to her. All I want to do is take her in my arms and hold her, but I am afraid, I am so angry I am so scared I am going to hurt her and she will leave me. I sit and watch as she rouses slowly staring at me, god those beautiful eyes they see straight through me and that scares me more than anything if she can see through the outer shell she can see the rotten core and she won't want me any more.

She is asking me why I am being so cold and callous towards her, I don't want to hurt her - oh baby I need to keep my distance, please baby I love you, and I'm scared. I hear myself telling her I am burning with rage and how I am not used to these feelings.

Oh god she is coming to me and climbing on my knee oh god that feels good, I wrap my arms around her I feel myself calming slightly, what the hell is it about her that manages to have that effect on me, but I am angry with her for disobeying me? But she was safer with Kate? I just have no idea what is right any more, my whole controlled thought pattern and everything I know has been turned upside down I am just lost.

She goes back to bed and I leave her a drink and some painkillers for when she wakes up again. When she gets up again she joins me in the shower, I am still so angry I daren't touch her, Christ she is putting her arms around me.

"Don't" I whisper to her.

I have denied her, and pushed her away, she is hurt I can feel it, she has withdrawn immediately, baby I love you I daren't though, if I hurt you ...

I turn to her and try to make her understand, "I am still fucking mad at you", I lean my forehead against hers, she touches my face, oh baby that feels good.

"Don't be mad at me please, I think you are over reacting" she whispers this to me, What the fuck, is she insane, I can feel my anger rising again, over fucking reacting I'll give her over reacting.

"Over reacting, some fucking lunatic gets into my apartment to kidnap my wife and you think I am over reacting?" I am snarling at her trying desperately to contain my anger, is she crazy?

She is looking at me she looks confused, what is she thinking?

She looks down, Christ I'm fucking this up so badly, talk to me baby what did you mean? Please baby talk to me, I am willing her to explain what she means.

"No...um, that's not what I was referring to, I thought this was about me staying out". She waits for me to say something, "Christian I wasn't here" she whispers this to me to try and make me feel better.

No you weren't baby, because you fucking disobeyed me, I close my eyes but if you were here you would have been in more danger, I can't reconcile this, shit what can I do? I shake my head trying to make sense of these conflicting emotions.

"I know" I whisper this to her, part of me is so glad she wasn't here, but then there is the part of me who is seething because she disobeyed me, I don't want to think about it, I don't want to talk about it, I need to get out...get away try and get my head around this, I can't do it here with her next to me, I just can't think straight. I have to punish her somehow, I can't let her get away with defying me like this but what can I do, I will hurt her if she comes near me but I need her so much. I am questioning my judgment.

I open my eyes and look at her, anger is still there, I'll use it, control it and use it, "and all because you can't follow a simple fucking request, I don't want to discuss this now, in the shower and I am still fucking mad at you Anastasia. You're making me question my judgement". There she knows I have to get out of here, I turn swiftly and leave the shower. I dry myself and get dressed and head to my study, I need to speak to Welch about last night's fuck up, as I am on the phone, Ana comes to the door, oh baby please not now, I shake my head at her and my heart breaks as I watch her walk sadly away.

I finish up and go and eat my breakfast, Gail looks uncomfortable, it's no wonder the atmosphere in here this morning, as I am eating Ana comes out dressed for work fuck she can't be seriously considering going to work today.

"You're going?" I ask her as she passes me.

"To work, yes of course" she replies flippantly, she explains that we have been barely back a week and we will talk later when she gets back, if I have calmed down, calmed down for fucks sake.

"Calmed down" I whisper softly to her, I am hanging on to my self control here with a thread, I am scaring her I can tell she asks me if she can take her car, seriously?!

"No you can't" I snap at her when she asks.

"Okay" she replies backing down immediately. Shit I was expecting another argument then that was easy. We have a brief discussion about her security and then she kisses me, gently, oh god baby that feels so good.

"Don't hate me" she whispers to me.

What, I could never hate you, I love you, I grab her hand as she walks away, "I don't hate you" I say.

I am looking at her why would she think I hate her? "You haven't kissed me" she whispers

"I know" I mutter back at her, oh baby I am so scared to touch you right now, I have so many different emotions running through my head, if I touch you I am so scared I am going to hurt you, fuck it you want a kiss you are getting one, I stand and grab her tightly she gasps and I take control, she responds no, you need to be punished, I stop and release her and she leaves.

I open my eyes, the memory of that day just seared into my memory, how things got worse and worse and she sent me those fucking emails and then that night in the playroom, I look at Ana sleeping in our bed, she has her hand resting on her huge bump I smile my son is in there. I need to stop this, I need a distraction, I have to stop thinking of all the times I have fucked up, but I can't my mind won't let me, I go back to my office, I look at the CD's and I carry on listening to the one which is now playing.

_Oo it must be magic_  
><em>How inside your eyes<em>  
><em>I see my destiny<em>  
><em>Every time we kiss<em>  
><em>I feel you breathe your love so deep inside of me<em>  
><em>If the moon and stars should fall<em>  
><em>They'd be easy to replace<em>  
><em>I would lift you up to heaven<em>  
><em>And you would take their place<em>...

I pick my ears up and listen to the lyrics, and smile, that is how I feel about Ana, as the song continues my smile fades and a creeping fear goes through me.

_...Then I saw red_  
><em>When I opened up the door<em>  
><em>I saw red<em>  
><em>My heart just spilled onto the floor<em>  
><em>And I didn't need to see his face<em>  
><em>I saw yours<em>  
><em>I saw red when I closed the door<em>

_I don't think I'm gonna love you anymore._..

I feel like I can't breathe, I grip my desk and start hyperventilating. I would die if Ana ever cheated on me, I don't think she ever would she loves me, but the way I behave keeping her on a short leash, and acting like a fucking Neanderthal every time some man looks at her and the way I start making demands I am going to lose her if I don't get my shit together but she is mine and no man is ever going to look at her, let alone touch her. My attention is drawn back to the song.

_...Everyday I wake up_  
><em>I thank God that you are still a part of me<em>  
><em>We've opened up the door to which<em>  
><em>So many people never find the key<em>  
><em>And if the sun should ever fail to send its light<em>  
><em>We would burn a thousand candles<em>  
><em>And make everything alright...<em>

I swallow deeply, oh baby I love you so much, I just want you to be safe, I can't bear the thought of losing you. I will lose her if I don't stop behaving like this. I sink into my chair and put my head into my hands, another song comes on, as I am looking aimlessly through the other CD's

_It could have rained for forty weeks dear_  
><em>And I'd have never known the difference<em>  
><em>When your life is one long downpour<em>  
><em>You're not sure you'll go the distance<em>

_You come along with a patch of blue sky_  
><em>Inside your arms I found a place that's warm and dry<em>

_Mister Rainmaker don't waste your time_  
><em>I found a girl who is permanent sunshine<em>  
><em>She is the little queen of all of my dreams<em>  
><em>Carry on! And find someone else to rain on<em>

_Love never rained down on me dear_  
><em>Only heartache and problems<em>  
><em>Now through your arms I can see clear<em>  
><em>oh, It's only been raining water<em>  
><em>You came along with a patch of blue sky<em>  
><em>Inside your arms I found a place that's warm and dry<em>

_Mister Rainmaker don't waste your time_  
><em>I found a girl who is permanent sunshine<em>  
><em>She is the little queen of all of my dreams<em>  
><em>Carry on! And find someone else to rain on<em>

_Mister Rainmaker don't waste your time_  
><em>I found a girl who is permanent sunshine<em>  
><em>She is the little queen of all of my dreams<em>  
><em>Carry on! And find someone else to rain on<em>

_Mister Rainmaker, yeah, yeah, yeah_

That is my Ana, she is my sunshine, before she came into my life it was dark, I was in perpetual night time when she left me, she is my everything.

My mind goes back to when she safe worded on me in the playroom, that night Christ I got carried away, like I did when I beat her, and when I heard that little tearful voice, saying red and the tears falling down her cheeks I felt my blood run cold, I can't bear to think about it, god I really thought she would walk out on me, but by some miracle she didn't she stayed but I really don't deserve her she loves me unconditionally and all I do is abuse that love.

**Songs: Blind Faith, I saw Red and Mr Rainmaker by Warrant - from the album Cherry Pie**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I am still looking through the pitiful CD collection, my baby seemed to like Bon Jovi there were a number of Bon Jovi CD's, Slippery when wet, New Jersey and Keep the Faith, I decide to get rid of the Warrant one and put it back in its case, I listen to all the Bon Jovi CD's as I put in Slippery When wet I vaguely recognise it and I remember that Elliot had this when we were younger.

I try to get all the negativity out of my head from tonight and the memories where I have acted like a complete prick, I sometimes wonder why Ana stays with me, I don't deserve her unconditional love she is so sweet and kind and all I do is pile shit on her she just doesn't deserve it, she doesn't deserve a fucked up bastard like me, how the hell am I going to be a good father if I can't get my negative emotions under control, I am slowly coming to terms with this when I saw the baby on the ultrasound for the first time, when it actually looked like a baby and when I felt him kick I was mesmerised. Then we found out I was having a son I was so proud and relieved, what kind of father would I be to a little innocent girl, I have treated women like objects for years but if I had a daughter and anyone treated her the way I have treated women I would kill them and not think twice about it.

My son! The words Ana spoke to me keep popping into my head, when I was trying to explain about Elena, "God Christian how would you feel if it was your son?" seeing that little boy on the ultrasound and feeling him kick through Ana's stomach has made me realise everything she said about Elena was right, she was a sexual predator who took advantage and made me more fucked up than I already was. I try to get my mind off this dark path, no wonder Ana hates Elena so much she is pure and good, too good for me.

I think back to our honeymoon when she went topless, I went ballistic I hurt her I had promised only a week or so earlier to protect her and yet there she was covered in welts and hickies which I had put on her body, who the hell is going to protect her from me?

I listen to the CD once again I am trying to get my racing thoughts under control a song has drawn my attention, and I am listening carefully to the words.

_If you could see inside my heart_  
><em>then you would understand<em>  
><em>I'd never mean to hurt you<em>  
><em>Baby I'm not that kind of man<em>

_I might not say I'm sorry_  
><em>Yeah, I might talk tough sometimes<em>  
><em>and I might forget the little things<em>  
><em>or keep you hanging on the line<em>

_In a world that don't know Romeo and Juliet_  
><em>Boy meets girl and promises we can't forget<em>  
><em>We are cast from Eden's gate with no regrets<em>  
><em>Into the fire we cry<em>

_I'd die for you_  
><em>I'd cry for you<em>  
><em>I'd do anything<em>  
><em>I'd lie for you<em>  
><em>You know it's true<em>  
><em>Baby I'd die for you<em>  
><em>I'd die for you<em>  
><em>I'd cry for you<em>  
><em>If it came right down to me and you<em>  
><em>You know it's true, Baby I'd die for you<em>

I listen and the tears stream down my cheeks I can't stop them this is exactly what I feel about Ana she is my life, I can't breathe without her, she is mine, I switch the CD off and return to the bedroom. As I walk into the room the lyrics from a song from the Keep the faith album come into my mind.

_You want commitment_  
><em>Take a look into these eyes<em>  
><em>they burn with fire<em>  
><em>until the end of time<em>  
><em>I would do anything<em>  
><em>I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die<em>  
><em>to have you in these arms tonight<em>

_Baby I want you_  
><em>Like the roses want the rain<em>  
><em>You know I need you<em>  
><em>Like a poet needs the pain<em>  
><em>I would give anything<em>  
><em>My blood, my love, my life<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms tonight<em>

_I'd hold you_  
><em>I'd need you<em>  
><em>I'd get down on my knees for you<em>  
><em>And make everything alright<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms<em>  
><em>I'd love you<em>  
><em>I'd please you<em>  
><em>I'd tell you that I'd never leave you<em>  
><em>And love you 'til the end of time<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms tonight<em>

_We stared at the sun_  
><em>And we made a promise<em>  
><em>A promise this world would never blind us<em>  
><em>And these were our words<em>  
><em>Our words were our songs<em>  
><em>Our songs are our prayers<em>  
><em>These prayers keep me strong<em>  
><em>and I still believe<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms<em>

_I'd hold you_  
><em>I'd need you<em>  
><em>I'd get down on my knees for you<em>  
><em>And make everything alright<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms<em>  
><em>I'd love you<em>  
><em>I'd please you<em>  
><em>I'd tell you that I'd never leave you<em>  
><em>And love you 'til the end of time<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms tonight<em>

_Your clothes are still scattered_  
><em>All over our room<em>  
><em>This whole place still smells like<em>  
><em>Your cheap perfume<em>  
><em>Everything here reminds me of you<em>  
><em>And there's nothing<em>  
><em>That I wouldn't do...<em>

_And these were our words_  
><em>they keep me strong, baby!<em>

_I'd hold you_  
><em>I'd need you<em>  
><em>I'd get down on my knees for you<em>  
><em>And make everything alright<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms<em>  
><em>I'd love you<em>  
><em>I'd please you<em>  
><em>I'd tell you that I'd never leave you<em>  
><em>And love you 'til the end of time<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms... tonight<em>

_If you were in these arms... tonight_  
><em>if you were in these arms... tonight<em>  
><em>if you were in these arms... <em>

I climb into bed and pull her into my arms I need her there, she rouses and looks up at me sleepily.

"Christian what the hell, I was sleeping" she is so beautiful even when she is cranky, I smile at her.

"Baby I am so sorry, I just need you in my arms" I kiss her lips gently she smiles at me and shakes her head.

"Please Christian I am so tired please let me sleep" she begs

"Ok baby, you sleep" I pull her to me and she snuggles in my arms, she is turned with her back to me and I keep hearing the words of that song in my head as I feel her breathing getting slower and deeper as she goes back to sleep.

_I'd hold you_  
><em>I'd need you<em>  
><em>I'd get down on my knees for you<em>  
><em>and make everything alright<em> 

_If you were in these arms_  
><em>I'd love you<em>  
><em>I'd please you<em>  
><em>I'd tell you that I'd never leave you<em>  
><em>And love you 'til the end of time<em>  
><em>If you were in these arms tonight<em>

I bury my nose in her hair, I can't believe this beautiful woman agreed to marry me, she is so perfect, my mind starts wandering again, the night I asked her to marry me, and her reaction – hysterical laughter wasn't the reaction I'd hoped for but when she explained I see it was sort of bad timing, that night, wow that is the first time since Elena I had given up control totally for anyone, I gave myself to Ana and it felt...right. What a night though I was so scared she was going to leave me and I had to stop her. I snuggle closer and wrap Ana tightly in my arms. You are mine baby, you. Are. Mine.

I can't sleep my mind is still working overtime I am gripping Ana tightly as though holding her gives me some sort of strength.

I am remembering that night the night the memory as clear as if it was yesterday I gave up _all _control, and that thought still amazes me that I was prepared to do that, do the one thing I swore I would never do again, I close my eyes and the memories return...

"Where the fuck is she Taylor?" I am frantic, I got back to the apartment and Ana isn't here, Taylor told me what she had done, she was upset, I realise how it must have looked to her, once again I have been unable to articulate what I needed, and I have left her feeling vulnerable. Shit right now I feel vulnerable she has gone out alone with Kavanagh, without her phone, where the hell is she?

"I'll keep looking sir, try not to worry" Taylor sounds upset too, he took it personally that Leila managed to break into Ana's apartment after he had personally swept it earlier.

Wait what's that? I turn and there she is, "She's here" thank Christ for that she has come back, I hear a sigh down the other end of the phone. I hang up as Taylor is saying something.

"Where the fuck have you been" shit get a grip Grey this is not the right thing to do, the look on Ana's face tells me everything I need to know I have fucked up yet again, this makes me angrier I am trying so hard to keep my temper under control, I am petrified she is going to leave, and I am doing my best to drive her away. Come on Grey pull it together, I hear myself ranting about how late it is and how I wanted her to come back here. I walk towards her.

"I didn't know how long you were going to be...with her" What? she is jealous, what is she saying, I stop dead in my tracks, Oh fuck this is going to end badly I need to stop this

"Why do you say it like that?" I ask her I am desperate to hold her in my arms, she is looking down, oh my god she is thinking of going, she can't leave me, what can I do, shit help me someone I can't lose her. "Ana what's wrong?" I manage to get the words out despite my overwhelming urge to throw up she is leaving me I just know it, I can't let her go, please baby I love you please don't leave me you mean everything to me, I want to be with you for ever.

Then I hear the words that make my blood run cold, "I'm no good for you" No baby no you are my world you are my reason for living you are my everything. Oh my god how can I make her see this. I almost feel as though I am losing my mind I hear us having a conversation, she is telling me she isn't right for me and I am telling her she is and that Leila is sick, I need her to understand.

"But I felt it...what you had together" she whispers this and it destroys me, we didn't have anything she was nothing, you are everything baby please believe me.

"What? No" is all I can manage to get out, I try to walk towards her to hold her I need her to understand, but she steps back. FUCK no baby no don't leave me please don't leave me I can't stand it if you go I will never survive it I have to stop her, what can I do.

"You're running" I gasp, "You can't" I am rambling and I am so afraid I can't think straight, I hear her trying to explain to me but all I can think is she is going she is leaving me, I have to stop her.

"No no no" I am desperate here what can I do how do I stop her from going I am wild with fear I grasp my hair and look around, I need her, what can I do to make her stay, she can't leave me she has to stay.

"You can't go Ana I love you" I plead with her please baby I love you

She looks at me, "I love you too Christian, it's just"

"No no" fuck I am desperate here what can I give her to make her realise she is everything to me, I can see I am scaring her, what can I do?

"Christian..."

"No" I am panting then it hits me I know what I can give her, control, I'll give her the thing I need most in the world besides her - control I will hand her control over me, I will give myself to her, anything to keep her I have to do this I have to give up control. I drop to my knees in front of her, my head bowed and I take a deep breath, I'm all yours baby, just please don't leave me.

"Christian what are you doing?" she sounds scared, baby I am giving myself to you, give me a command I am yours if it is the only way to keep you I will do it I need you that much.

"Christian look at me" There it is, the command I look up at her without hesitation, she is pleading with me saying she doesn't want this, no baby I need this I need you to see what I am prepared to do to keep you, you need to see I am yours, please don't leave me baby please don't leave me. I am waiting for a command I hear her tell me to talk to her.

"What would you like me to say?" I ask, I have shut down, if she is going to leave me, I need to shut down I am in a calm place now, I am no longer filled with panic I am calm, I want her to stay, I need her to stay but if she has made up her mind I need to retreat I need to hide, I need to find a safe place somewhere inside me where I can die quietly, I am back in control of my emotions now I need to get through this she is going to leave and I know she is right to I can't possibly keep a woman like her, what could I offer her, I am so fucked up it isn't fair on her to make her stay with me.

As I am retreating inside myself I vaguely notice she has got down on the floor, what is she doing, at least if she is on the floor she is not walking out the door...yet. She is talking to me, she trying to explain, she is rambling, she wanted time to think is that all? I frown at the thought. Then she tells me she thinks she is not good enough for me, oh baby you can't be serious you are my world, I want to marry you and be with you always, what can I do to make you see this, you are perfect baby I love you. I am going through everything she is saying to me, trying to make sense of it.

I hear her say, "Are you going to kneel here all night? Because I'll do it too? That's my girl that's my feisty Ana. Oh god I can't lose her I need to work this out so I can talk and tell her and make her realise she is the only one for me ever.

I hear her asking me to talk, she is begging me, I need to say this right baby, and I need to make you understand.

"Please" I hear her beg and I think I am ready, I blink

"I was so scared" I barely get the words out, I go on to explain how I saw Ethan outside, and knew something was wrong, how seeing Leila with the gun, god I can't think about that how impotent I felt how she gave me that hint and how I grasped it to get that fucking gun and keep my Ana safe, it was my fault she was in that situation and I had to get her out of it I continue to talk, how I just wanted her safe and out of harms way, and how she stubbornly refused to leave, Christ baby you just wouldn't go.

I need to tell her "Anastasia Steele you are the most stubborn woman I know" I sigh and shake my head. Wait she is still here, I need to make sure she meant it she wasn't going to run.

"You weren't going to run?" I ask tentatively

"No" she says oh thank Christ, I relax and I feel myself slump, I pull myself together and explain myself.

"I thought..." No she needs me to be truthful she needs to know.

"This is me, Ana. All of me...and I'm all yours" What do I do I have to do to make you realise that? I hear myself saying more, she is crying, she thought she had broken me.

I tell her she is my lifeline, I have never been so honest with a woman before, I realise I need this woman so much, I need her to touch me she has been desperate to show me how much she loves me with her touch, I have denied her that, I am desperate for her to touch me, but the fear is just too deep, but I need her to realise how much she means to me, I grasp her hand and place it on my chest. I am saying over and over in my mind I am safe she won't hurt me she won't hurt me I am safe she won't hurt me. My heart is beating fast and I am petrified but I look at her and don't take my eyes off her, I leave her hand on my heart, she goes to remove it and I stop her, no baby I need this I need you.

"No" I whisper "Don't" I want her to touch me. She moves closer looking at me and silently asking permission as she undoes my shirt I am panicking but swallow to keep myself under control, she is hesitating looking at me asking permission I nod, and say yes and she touches me, I close my eyes the last time I was touched by anyone it was bad but this is ok it is...nice, she removes her hand, no baby I need you to do this, I grasp her hand and put it back, "No, I need to" I say my voice sounds strained.

She is touching me, god it feels good, the panic is still there but her touch is really something, it feels like she is mending something, she makes me complete I need her so much, Fuck she wants to kiss me, when she does a bolt of electricity surges through me, I let out a moan, my eyes are shut tight oh my god she has stopped.

"Again" I whisper, she kisses me again, and it dawns on me she is kissing my scars, oh baby I love you so much, I wrap my arms around her and she is kissing away years of pain, and for the first time since I was a very small child I cry in front someone. She is assuring me she won't leave me and that she loves me, yes you will baby if you knew what a sick fuck I really am you would be out that door, but I need to tell her she needs to know, I know it will be over the minute I do tell her but she deserves to know the truth this woman is just far too good for me, I can't lie to her any more.

She pleads with me to tell her, so I take a deep breath and I tell her my deepest darkest secret, I wait for her reaction, I wait for her to leave me.

**Songs: In these Arms – Bon Jovi Keep the Faith & I'd die for you – Bon Jovi Slippery when wet.**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

I lie in bed holding Ana tightly I am remembering the night I told her everything the night I told her my deepest darkest secret, the night I fully expected her to leave me. I look at her sleeping in my arms, I touch her swollen stomach where inside our son is growing at this moment, as I touch I feel movement inside, my boy can feel my touch and is responding to it, hush son lie still don't wake your mommy, I feel Ana stir slightly and moan, she runs her hand over her stomach, but doesn't wake fully. How the hell did I ever manage to get this beautiful woman to fall in love with me? Me the most fucked up man in Seattle, but this beautiful woman saw past that and reached inside me and found something worth loving.

I remember that night as if it was yesterday, I told her my secret I told her the real me and I fully expected her to leave me again, but thank god she didn't. I had just given up all control to her because I had gone into a blind panic thinking she was going to go, she had told me she wasn't going to leave, and that all she wanted was time to think, she had just touched me for the first time and kissed my scars trying to kiss away a lifetime full of pain and agony, I felt it as her lips touch me and the tears began to fall I was holding her and she said she loved me and would always love me...

"Christian please don't cry, I meant it when I said I'd never leave you, I did. If I gave you any other impression I am so sorry...please, please forgive me I love you, I will always love you".

This is it she has told me there is nothing that will make her leave me, I have to tell her, I have to be straight and honest with her, she has given herself openly and honestly to me I have to be a man and tell her, I have to let her know what it is she is in love with and give her the fair chance to leave by knowing all the facts, I know once she knows the truth she is going to freak and leave, but I can't keep her here under false pretences any longer she deserves more than that, frankly she deserves better than me but I can't let her go I'm too weak, but now I realise this beautiful woman deserves much better she is way too good for me and I have to be honest with her, come on Grey take it like a man, you knew this wasn't going to work out for you, she needs to know what a fucked up son of a bitch she is dealing with, you need to let her go.

I vaguely hear her talking to me.

"What is it, what is this secret that makes you think I'll run for the hills, that makes you so determined to believe I'll go?" she looks at me pleading with me to tell her "Tell me Christian please..."

Christ, fuck this is it, ok get ready Grey do it and get it over with so you can move on, but I know I can't move on she is my life.

"Ana..." I can't do it, I know I have to but how the hell do you tell someone the extent and depths of depravity I have sunk to? Especially someone so pure and good and lovely as Ana. Ok this is it, deep breath here goes nothing...

"I'm a sadist Ana. I like to whip little brown haired girls, like you because you all look like the crack whore – my birth mother, I'm sure you can guess why". There that's it, now you know everything baby, say something please, she is quiet for the longest time, what the hell is she thinking, it can't be anything good, - she is thinking how to get the hell out of here you stupid fuck. I wait for her to respond.

"You said you weren't a sadist" she finally says looking at me.

What? I wasn't expecting that, I reply quietly "No I said I was a Dominant, if I lied to you it was a lie of omission I am sorry" no you're not sorry Grey you wanted this girl and you lied to her – this beautiful innocent virgin you took her and lied to her you sick fucked up son of a bitch.

"So it's true, I can't give you what you need" she looks distraught she thinks its her fault, no baby you are not to blame its all me I'm the bastard here – she is thinking of my feelings and needs above her own...does this mean ...can it possibly mean she doesn't want to leave? I jump on that hope and grasp it with both hands I need to persuade her she is what I need; I need to tell her she has found something in me which I never thought was there. I clench my fists.

"No no no Ana. No. You can. You do give me what I need, please believe me" I beg, oh god believe me baby don't leave me please I need you so much you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I wait she looks confused.

"I don't know what to believe Christian, this is so fucked up" she almost whispers it, Christ I'm losing her I need to make her stay, what can I do to make her stay, I end up rambling on about how after I punished her and she left me how it changed everything how when she said she loved me it changed everything, I am opening up my heart and laying out before her, I need her to know, Christ I have to make her understand, I have to let her to know how much I need her and want her, how much I love her above and beyond everything I have ever known. She is asking questions and talking to me, I can't believe she is still here; I talk to her, the longer we talk the longer she stays and the better chance I have of getting her to stay with me.

"You're still here. I thought you would be out of the door by now" I whisper to her I need to know what she is thinking.

"Why because I might think you're a sicko for whipping and fucking women who look like your mother? Whatever gave you that impression?" She snarls back at me.

Shit, well she is right I can't argue with that, "Well I wouldn't have put it quite like that, but yes" I say who the hell am I kidding I am a sick fucker this is it, don't say anything else Grey she needs to make up her mind and you can't do any more now, let her make up her mind and live with the consequences, it seems like an eternity she must be thinking everything over, oh baby please I need you talk to me.

Suddenly she raises her head and speaks to me. I hold my breath this is it "Christian, I'm exhausted. Can we discuss this tomorrow, I want to go to bed?" she says.

What!? She's not going, holy shit she's not going, I need to make sure. "You're not going?" I ask tentatively.

"Do you want me to go?" she replies

Fuck no! "No! I thought you would leave once you knew" she is thinking again I can see she is working things out in her mind, she could still go, "Don't leave me" I whisper, I need her to know.

"Oh for crying out loud – no! I am not going to go" she is shouting at me oh baby you have just made me so happy, she is not going to leave, I don't believe it, I need to make sure.

"Really?" I ask Oh god this woman is something, she is not going to leave me, I want this woman, I want to marry her I need to keep this woman by my side for all eternity.

"What can I do to make you understand I will not run? What can I say?" she looks pissed, god she is beautiful should I ask her now, make her see we are meant to be together for ever, she loves me, I sure as hell love her, I can keep her safe if she is my wife...my wife I like that MY wife.

"There is one thing you can do" I say I'm going to do this I'm going to ask her, shit what if she says no, oh to hell with it.

"What?" she snaps at me, she is still pissed should I? yes I should.

"Marry me" I whisper I wait and I can't believe what I am seeing she is laughing at me, she thinks I'm joking oh baby I have never been so serious about anything in my life, why won't she stop laughing? She is on the floor with her arm over her face, I lean over and gently move her arm, oh baby talk to me, give me an answer, say something!

She is still laughing, shit how stupid am I she won't want to marry me will she, what was I thinking, but please put me out of my misery tell me now. I smile bravely I don't want her to see how I am feeling, come on baby just tell me.

"You're cutting me to the quick here Ana. Will you marry me?" I ask trying to sound in control. Finally she starts to speak.

"Christian, I have met your psycho ex with a gun, been thrown out of my apartment, had you go thermonuclear fifty on me"

I try and butt in but she holds up her hand, shut your mouth Grey let her speak.

She continues, "You have just revealed some quite frankly shocking information about yourself and now you have asked me to marry you"

Hmm when she puts it like that it sounds absurd, but I want this woman to be my wife, I try and lighten the atmosphere, "Yes I think that's a pretty fair and accurate summary of the situation" I say hoping she will see the humour.

She is telling me she needs time to think and consider it and that she is tired and hungry, but all I can think is that she hasn't said no then she tells me it wasn't very romantic, well I suppose she does have a point there, as proposals go it could have been better.

"Fair point well made as ever, Miss Steele" I say she hasn't said no, need her to confirm this, "So that's not a no?" I ask

She tells me that it's not a no or a yes and that I'm only doing it because I am scared. Oh no baby I'm doing it because I love you and I need you and I want you by my side and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, something I never thought I'd have. I tell her this and she smiles at me, I continue and tell her that I didn't ever think it would happen to me, she tell me she will think about it. That's good enough for me, hell I thought she'd be gone by now, this has worked out better than I could have ever wished for, and my mind is now running a mile a minute thinking of all sorts of scenarios.

I am brought back to the present by movement, my son appears to be doing cartwheels, I gently caress Ana's stomach and smile, words from that Bon Jovi song pop into my head again.

_You want commitment_  
><em>Take a look into these eyes<em>  
><em>They burn with fire<em>  
><em>Until the end of time<em>  
><em>I would do anything<em>  
><em>I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die<em>  
><em>To have you in these arms tonight...<em>

Here she is in my arms, I am the luckiest son of a bitch, I am never letting this woman go I still can't believe this woman loves me, I hope to god her faith in me to be a good father isn't misplaced, my mind goes back to the dark place the night she told me she was pregnant, I stroke her stomach, of all the times I have fucked up that night that night was the worst I am not proud of myself the way I behaved that night, I close my eyes in complete revulsion at myself for the way I behaved, she was terrified of my reaction, she was so scared and what did I do, I proved her fears right and not only that I destroyed her trust in me.

I look at her now, that loss of faith in me almost cost her, her life and that of my son when that fucker Hyde kidnapped Mia and she went after them and didn't tell me what was going on, I can't bear the thought of that time and I try to push it from my mind. No matter how hard I try though my stupid behaviour keeps coming back to haunt my memories. I can't sleep and I gently move trying not to wake Ana, and head to my study, I carefully pack away all the CD's and the ancient CD player into the box and take it back to the spare room. The words of the songs are still going around my head, I move into the great room and sit at my piano, I start gently feeling my way around the keys playing the melody of those songs on my piano, it is a gift I have always had, if I heard a song after a few moments I could generally work it out and play it on a piano. I smile as I do so, its not my usual type of music that I play. My smile fades as the awful memories of the night I abandoned my pregnant wife force their way into my mind...

Something is wrong Ana is so quiet and withdrawn, I know she is worried about Ray but something is bothering her, I emailed her today and she sent back a one word reply, I asked her if anything was wrong and she just assured me she was just busy. All the way to the hospital this evening she was so distracted and when we got home I finally snapped when she picked at her dinner.

"Damn it Ana will you tell me what's wrong, please you are driving me crazy" I have snapped at her and she looks terrified, what on earth has happened?

"I'm pregnant" her voice is so quiet I think I am hearing things but the look on her face is all I need to know that there is no mistake about what she has just said, pregnant, no, shit ...pregnant how the hell... I am rooted to the spot, I feel like I am drowning, I can't breathe, a baby, its too soon, I can't be a father, I'm not capable of being someone's father, how the hell did this happen?

"How?" I ask, the only word I am able to articulate.

She gives me a look as if to say, how the hell do you think it happened. It makes me angry, shit I am fucking furious, did she do this on purpose, what the hell happened, "Your shot?" I snarl at her barely controlling my temper. 

"Did you forget your shot?" I say again I look at her she looks absolutely terrified, well welcome to the fucking club baby, I'm not parent material, what the hell have you done. I don't want a fucking baby; I stand up and slam my fist on the table.

"Christ Ana! You have one thing, one thing to remember, shit I don't fucking believe it, how could you be so stupid!" I am ranting I have lost all control, I look at her and she is looking down, and whispers she is sorry.

"Sorry, fuck!" I shout I know I'm behaving like an asshole but I just can't control the panic, the blind panic that is coursing through me.

She mutters that she realises the timing isn't very good, no shit Sherlock!

"Not very good? We've known each other five fucking minutes I wanted to show you the fucking world and now...fuck, diapers and vomit and shit" I close my eyes she looks so petrified, I try to calm my anger, but its no good I am so close to losing complete control, I am scared I will hurt her, I have never been this out of control since I was a teenager, I can't stop ranting.

"Did you forget? Tell me or did you do this on purpose?" shit did I just accuse her of getting pregnant on purpose. She mutters she didn't and I just keep going on.

"I thought we agreed on this?" I shout

"I know, we had, I'm sorry" she is trying to calm me but its not working, I am too far gone, I need control this is why I like control, I can't cope when things out of the ordinary happen, look at me for gods sake I'm a fucking ranting asshole.

"This is why I like control, so shit like this doesn't come and fuck everything up" did I really just say that oh god. She starts to cry and tell me not to shout at her, it makes me even angrier.

"Don't start with the waterworks now" I snap "Do you think I'm ready to be a father?" This is what is getting to me, I'm not ready to be a father, I am a fucked up son of a bitch, if I have a kid he will end up as fucked up as me, what if it's a girl, I can't be a father to an innocent little girl? Shit, what am I going to do? I run my hands through my hair I vaguely hear Ana trying to tell me I'll be a wonderful father.

"How the fuck do you know? Tell me how?" I shout I have really lost it, I need to get out, I can't breathe, I need to get away, I don't want to hurt her and I'm just too out of control, I have to get away.

"Oh fuck this" I bellow, and I turn and leave and slam the door. As soon as I get outside it hits me what I have just done. Shit I have just walked out on my wife, my pregnant wife. I grab my phone and call Flynn tears are coursing down my cheeks, it goes straight to voicemail, shit I call his home phone and nobody answers, I call his secretary, and she tells me he is at a school function, I roll my eyes at the irony. I start to walk, what the hell have I done, I'm a fucking monster what kind of bastard walks out on his wife when she tells him she is pregnant? I realise I am alone, I just keep walking aimlessly, I know I need to go back, and make things right, but what if she isn't there when I get back what if she finally realises I'm not worth the hassle and leaves me, I deserve it if she does, I keep walking and then I hear a familiar voice.

"Christian? Christian darling how are you?" I turn and see Elena.

"Elena, how are you?" I try and force a smile.

"Christian what's wrong?" she looks at me carefully. I can't tell her what I have done, not after what happened at my birthday, she would love to think I've fucked up my first regular relationship, and she could be there to pick up the pieces, well it's not going to happen.

"Nothing's wrong Elena, I'm getting some air, just out for a walk, we have just got back from the hospital, Ana's father was in an accident"

"I heard...is he improving?" she asks I nod.

"That's good, look something is on your mind Christian, I can tell, let's go for a drink and have a chat, I want to talk to you, I want to apologise for what happened at your birthday".

I nod and follow her to a bar; we sit and open a bottle of wine.

"I'm so sorry for what happened that night, I miss our friendship and my social circle is somewhat diminished now your mother knows about us, business has suffered she has taken a lot of my business away and with the economy as it is things have been... difficult" she smiles bitterly.

"Is that all you care about Elena?" I say bitterly, I look at her what the hell did I see in her?

"Of course I don't darling, I'm just saying" she says but I can see she is lying, that is all she cares about and it hits me she is apologising because she needs me, she needs my money because she is struggling.

"So how is married life?" she asks tightly

I smile when I think of my beautiful Ana, and that smile slips when I remember how I behaved tonight.

"I love my wife, she is my world" I say, yeah but are you still hers Grey after the way you've treated her tonight? I wouldn't bank on it.

"Christian something is bothering you what is it?" Elena pushes

"Ana wants to start a family" I say, quietly, and Elena laughs she actually laughs at me.

"You?! A father! Are you serious, you wouldn't know where to start, knock that one on the head darling" she says, she reaches over and touches my arm and I freeze, her touch feels wrong, I think of the baby, my baby, words which Ana spoke to me a while ago come into my mind. '_What if it were your son Christian?_' Realisation dawns as I look at Elena and I feel sick. Suddenly it hits me and I realise what she meant, this woman, seduced me I was 15 years old, I was a child if anyone did that to my son I'd tear them limb from limb, it was wrong, Ana was right all along. I look at her.

"Come on darling don't let that little bitch talk you into that" she says, "Let me make you feel better" she murmurs and leans in to kiss me, I recoil and push her away.

"No, what the hell are you doing Elena?!" I say she looks shocked, I said no, I am in control, I said no to her. She won't touch me again, the fifteen year old boy is released from his hell, the fifteen year old boy she...abused, that's right abused, she didn't seduce me she abused me and I let her do it.

"I love my wife" I snarl.

She immediately backs off and laughs, "Oh Christian I'm just teasing darling, of course you love your wife, I'm just trying to cheer you up, see the funny side for goodness sake, I'm happy with Isaac you know I am".

I just stare at her, I want her to go, she seems to get that and stands to leave, "I'll leave you alone darling, its probably best we never see each other again if you are going to get uptight over a little joke"

I am so angry, I grab her wrist and pull her down to me so we are eyeball to eyeball, "That is the best thing you have said all night, I never want to lay eyes on you ever again, I love my wife, she is the best thing that ever happened to me" I drop her arm as if it has burnt me and push her away. She swallows and gathers up her jacket and purse and turns and leaves without another word. I walk to the bar and order bourbon, I am so miserable, I love my wife and I have treated her like shit, I abandoned her just because she is expecting my child. I need to make things right, but I daren't go home what if she isn't there? What if she has left me? I sit and for the first time since I was a teenager I drink myself into oblivion. I vaguely feel someone pulling me out of the seat.

"Come on sir lets get you home" I hear a voice I peer drunkenly towards it.

"Issat you Taylor?" I slur

"Yes sir, come on".

oooOOOooo

I open my eyes, shit I have the hangover from hell, I glance down and see I'm still in my clothes, what the hell? Then I remember the events of last night, shit where's Ana? I sit up and nearly throw up, I look around the room, I notice my Blackberry is flashing I pick it up and read the text.

_**WOULD YOU LIKE MRS LINCOLN TO JOIN US WHEN WE EVENTUALLY DISCUSS THIS TEXT SHE SENT TO YOU? IT WILL SAVE YOU RUNNING TO HER AFTERWARDS, YOUR WIFE.**_

My blood runs cold, it is written in capitals so she was obviously really pissed when she wrote it I read the text from Elena, shit Ana thinks I have told her about the baby, I jump up and call Ana it goes to voicemail I try a few more times and leave a voicemail message.

"Baby it's not what you think please baby let me explain, I love you" I plead.

I look at the clock its 6:30 I go upstairs to the spare room, she's not there and I go in all the other rooms no sign, I am starting to panic now, shit she done it she's left me, what the hell have I done? I feel my world crashing down on me, I try calling her again, no reply. I stop and think, and take a deep breath, Kate – she will have gone to Kate, I really don't want to speak to her but I have no choice, I brace myself and dial Kate's number.

"Hello" comes a sleepy voice.

"Kate, its Christian is Ana there, do you know where she is, have you seen or heard from her?" I blurt out.

"No why? What have you done Grey?" comes the now wide awake and hostile voice.

"Tell me the truth Kate, have you heard from her?" I snap

"I said no, what have you done, where is she? If you have hurt her I swear to god I will kill you" she snarls.

I hang up and thrown down my Blackberry and run my hands through my hair, where are you baby? I run up to the staff quarters and hammer on Taylor's door; he appears with a mug of coffee in his hand.

"I can't find Ana" I blurt out.

Within minutes he is down checking the security feed, Gail comes down and glares at me, yes I know I'm a fucking asshole.

"She doesn't appear to have left the apartment Sir" he says.

I start checking the apartment I try the door of the playroom it's locked "Ana" I shout, oh Ana where are you baby?

"ANA!" I stand at the top of the stairs and shout at the top of my voice. I try the handle to the playroom again, although that is the last place I'd expect her to be, am frantic, where is she, a small voice in my head is sneering at me, you've done it this time Grey, she has finally reached the end of her rope with you, you have fucked it up one too many times, you never deserved her, and you showed that last night when you abandoned her when she told you she was pregnant, the one time she needed your support and you blew it, thinking about your own selfish needs, its never about Ana is it, its always how things will affect you, don't try and turn this on Ana its all your fault you worthless shit.

I run downstairs I am faced with Gail who is glaring at me like she wants to kill me, Taylor who although is trying to keep an impassive face is surely thinking the same thing, Sawyer and Ryan are there too, oh great everyone can see what a fucking mess I have made of my marriage, right now though all I want is my wife, I need to make this right.

"Gail, I'll have some breakfast, Taylor do another search of the upstairs rooms, Sawyer, I want you to go to her old apartment that she shared with Kate, in case she is there now, Ryan double check the security feeds to make sure she ...I stop everyone has turned and looking towards the doorway, there she is, my Ana, the relief is unbelievable she's still here, oh baby thank god, I stare at her intently she looks so vulnerable with that huge duvet wrapped around her, yet her eyes tell me she is strong and very very angry. What do I do?

Finally she speaks, "Sawyer I will be ready to leave in about twenty minutes" he nods, everyone looks at me, I really don't know what to do. The silence and tension is ratcheted up by a few more degrees.

"Would you like some breakfast Mrs Grey?" Gail breaks the silence and gets events moving, Ana shakes her head.

"I'm not hungry thank you" she replies, oh baby you have to eat for gods sake, I nearly say something and stop myself, she won't thank me for saying it, in the end I just say what is the main thought running through my mind, where the hell was she?

"Where were you?" I ask I don't recognise my own voice, partly due to the wicked hangover I am suffering and the worry and fear, my voice sounds low and husky.

She's ignoring me and heads towards our bedroom, everyone scatters, they think I'm going to lose it.

"Ana answer me" I shout and set off after her. She has gone into our bathroom and locked the door, shit she has locked me out and that makes me mad, yep that's right Grey always fall back on your temper tantrums when you don't get your own way.

"Ana, Ana open the damned door" I pound on it with my fists.

"Go away" she shouts from inside

"I'm not going anywhere" I shout back

"Suit yourself" is the petulant response. I hear the shower running, I lean against the wall and wait, she has to come out sometime, eventually the door opens and she stares at me and then just walks straight past me without a word, to the closet.

"Are you ignoring me?" I ask which is really stating the obvious, of course she is Grey and can you blame her?

She answers me quietly "Perceptive aren't you" I think she wasn't even talking to me just responding as her voice is so detached and cold. I have really fucked this up I watch her, what the fuck do I do? I am so lost right now, what do I say? I just want this to be over I want to be back where we were before last night, pretend it never happened. She's pregnant you stupid fuck; things will never be the same again.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask eventually

"Why do you think" she shoots back at me, but her voice is soft yet controlled.

"Ana..." I start but stop as I watch her dressing, god she is so beautiful.

"Go ask your Mrs Robinson. I'm sure she'll have an explanation for you" she mutters.

"Ana I've told you before she's not my..." I try to explain but she cuts me off.

"I don't want to hear it Christian" she snaps she waves her hand dismissively, "The time to talk was yesterday, but instead you decided to rant and get drunk with the woman who abused you for years. Give her a call I'm sure she'll be more than willing to listen to you now".

I step further into the room I have my hands on my hips "Why were you snooping on me?" its all I can think of to say, oh well done Grey, make yourself sound more guilty than you already are.

She blushes, "That's not the point Christian, fact is the going gets touch and you run to her"

I can see where she is coming from but it wasn't like that, it really wasn't I need to make her see this, my mouth settles into a grim line, "It wasn't like that" I retort.

"I'm not interested" she says again.

I have no idea how to handle this she is so distant she really doesn't want to know any more, I am so out of my depth, I return to the thing that is bugging me most, just to say something.

"Where were you?" I ask she blatantly ignores me and continues to get dressed and then she grabs her hairdryer.

"Answer me" I say, she doesn't say a word but dries her hair fiercely, it looks wild when she straightens up. "Where were you?" I ask again I am trying to control my temper now.

"What do you care" she snarls at me.

Christ what do I do? "Ana stop this now" I snap, she shrugs at me I can't stand it any more I go over to her to reach out to her, she steps back from me, shit this is bad.

"Don't touch me" she says, I freeze, the last time she said that to me was when she left me after I punished her, I try and control my rising fear, I need to keep her here, my hands ball into fists.

"Where were you?" I ask again, I sound like a parrot repeating the same thing over and over but its all I can think of to say.

"I wasn't out getting drunk with my ex, did you sleep with her?"

Fuck Ana do you really think I would do that to you, I know she is angry with me but shit does she think so little of me? "What, no!" is all I can gasp. "You think I would cheat on you?" I am astounded she could think such a thing.

The next thing she says floors me, "You did, by taking our very private life and spilling your spineless guts to that woman"

My mouth drops open, she thinks I told her about the baby, hardly surprising considering the text Elena sent, but its not like that, all I can think to say is "Spineless that's what you think?" nice move Grey you have no right to be hurt you are spineless, you left your pregnant wife last night and got wasted, I am getting so angry.

"That text was not meant for you" I say, I realise it was the wrong thing to say as soon as I say it, she stares at me and I know I have unleashed her anger, I wait and then she lets me have it.

"Well fact is I saw it when your Blackberry fell out of your jacket while I was undressing you because you were too drunk to undress yourself. Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me by going to see that woman?"

I know baby and I'm sorry, I am dumbstruck by what she has just told me, I have no idea what to do or say to make this right, she continues with her tirade, while I just stand there.

"Do you remember last night when you came home? Do you remember what you said? She glares at me.

Shit what did I do? The last thing I remember is a vague memory of Taylor pulling me up from the bar, after that its all a blank. I wrack my brains to think, what the fuck did I do?

"Well you were right" she says coldly "I do choose this defenceless baby over you, that's what any loving parent does, that's what your mother should have done for you, and I'm sorry she didn't, because we wouldn't be having this conversation right now if she had. But you are an adult now, you need to grow up and smell the fucking coffee and stop behaving like a petulant adolescent. You may not be happy about this baby. I'm not ecstatic given the timing and your less than lukewarm reception to this new life, this flesh of your flesh, but you can either do this with me or I'll do it on my own the decision is yours" she stops and stares at me for a second to catch her breath before she continues. "While you wallow in your pit of self pity and self loathing I'm going to work and when I return I'll be moving my belongings to the room upstairs, now if you'll excuse me I'd like to finish getting dressed"

No no no, I have to stop this, she can't do this. "Is that what you want?" I whisper.

"I don't know what I want any more" she snaps.

She doesn't want me any more, she wants out, I've blown it, I've lost the most wonderful thing in my life through my own stupidity. "You don't want me?" I whisper, I need her to say she still wants me, I need her I want her, god don't leave me please baby.

"I'm still here aren't I?" she snaps again

"You've thought about leaving" I reply

She shakes her head, "When one's husband prefers the company of his ex mistress its not usually a good sign" she sarcastically remarks. I watch her putting on her make up and putting on her boots, Christ she looks hot, I want to touch her so much, why is she doing this to me.

"I know what you are doing here" I say

"Do you?" she snarls but her voice cracks

I swallow and step closer to her and reach for her again, and once again she steps back and holds up her hands.

"Don't even think about it Grey" she whispers menacingly.

Oh I am so angry right now, "You're my wife" I say with more than a hint of a threat in my tone.

She stares at me as if I am mad, "I'm the pregnant woman you abandoned yesterday and if you touch me I will scream the place down"

Christ is she serious? "You'd scream?" I splutter

"Bloody murder" she confirms firmly oh god I am so pissed right now.

"No one would hear you" I say childishly

She suddenly looks terrified, "Are you trying to frighten me?" she asks.

Shit, I realise immediately what that must have looked like, god I want to make things right baby but I don't know how. "That wasn't my intention" I say eventually.

I need to explain, I need to put this right, "I had a drink with someone I used to be close to, we cleared the air I won't be seeing her again" I say

She looks at me, "you sought her out?" she says, she is still wary.

"Not at first, I tried to see Flynn, but I found myself at the salon" I am trying so hard to tell her none of this was planned, but she doesn't want to know.

"And you expect me to believe you're not going to see her again? What about next time I cross some imaginary line, this is the same argument we have over and over again, like we are on some Ixion's wheel, if I fuck up again are you doing to run back to her?" she doesn't believe me.

"I'm not going to see her again, she finally understands how I feel" I say, I said no to her for the first time in my life I said no to Elena, its over, finished, done.

"What does that mean?" she asks, I don't answer her. "Why can you talk to her and not to me?" she asks.

"I was mad at you. Like I am now" I say, WRONG, shit I've done it again, think before you fucking speak Grey or just keep your mouth shut, you are making this worse.

I see her getting angry again, "you don't say" she snaps, "Well I am mad at you right now, mad at you for being so cold and callous yesterday when I needed you, mad at you for saying I got knocked up deliberately when I didn't, mad at you for betraying me" she suppresses a sob but I can see how much I have hurt her, oh baby I'm so sorry tell me what to say and do to make this right, tell me.

She speaks again this time in a calmer tone, "I should have kept better track of my shots, but I didn't do it on purpose, this pregnancy is a shock for me too...it could be the shot failed".

Wait, what? The shot failed, what isn't she telling me, does she know something?

"You really fucked up yesterday" she says she is so angry with me, "I've had a lot to deal with over the last few weeks".

Before I can stop myself I retort back at her, "You really fucked up three or four weeks ago or whenever you forgot your shot".

"Well god forbid I should be perfect like you" she shouts

Stop please baby, I didn't mean that, I can't get those words out my head, '_maybe the shot failed'_, I try to lighten the atmosphere.

"This is quite a performance Mrs Grey" I whisper

She doesn't take it, but snaps back at me again, "Well I'm glad that even knocked up I'm entertaining".

I really don't know what to do, I can't keep going like this, I need to stop this now, "I need a shower" I say eventually.

I try one more time to lighten the atmosphere, when she tells me she has provided a floor show, I try and say it was a mighty fine one, but she refuses to let me near her, we are not getting anywhere, we continue to throw insults at each other for a few more moments until I just can't take any more.

"I'll see you this evening" I say eventually and run my hands through my hair, she looks at me, but doesn't say a word, I turn and head for the bathroom and climb into the shower and as the water cascades over me I fall to the floor and weep bitterly.

I come back to the present with a jolt, I am still sitting at my piano, I don't want to carry on with this memory, as it will take me to the darkest most terrifying moments of my life the time when I saw Ana lying on the concrete still and unconscious, I thought she was dead, that was without doubt the worst moment of my life the moment I thought I'd lost everything, but no matter how hard I try my mind is torturing me, making me remember making me recall what a stupid shit I am how I can treat the woman I love so dearly, so appallingly and then with a moment of clarity I realise I have to go through this I have to relive it, to remind me what my stupid behaviour can do, to make me try and make things better ...to be a better husband and a better man. I close my eyes and I am immediately taken back again to that horrible time...


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

When I come eventually come out of the shower, Ana has gone to work, Gail is busy in the kitchen and silently slams down a plate of omelette in front of me.

"Thank you" I mutter.

She doesn't say a word, "Gail did Mrs Grey have any breakfast before she left?" I ask warily, I know the answer before she tells me.

"No sir" she replies shortly. I can tell she wants to say more but I just don't want to hear it now. I pick up my Blackberry, and call Sawyer.

"Sawyer, please take care of Mrs Grey, I know I don't have to tell you that, but if anything happens please let me or Taylor know straight away, try and persuade her to eat if you can, she needs to keep her strength up now" I stop the words are choking in my throat.

"Yes sir" comes the short reply, "Excuse me sir, may I speak freely?" he asks

"Yes within reason" I say if he can give me some pointer to how my wife is feeling I will take it but I'm not going to have him mouthing off at me.

"Sir, I drove her to work and she seemed very quiet and upset she was crying at one point and she seemed to be talking to ...to...the baby, I asked her if she wanted anything from the deli but she refused, Sir forgive me for speaking out of line but she needs..."

"Yes thank you Sawyer" I cut him off sharply, but my heart is breaking knowing my wife feels so wretched, I really have no idea what to do to make this right, I eat my omelette but it tastes like cardboard, I have no appetite, which is unusual for me, if I feel like this god knows how Ana feels. I head to work, Taylor drives me in silence, every so often taking a shot look at me. He wants to say something , and for the first time I feel he should.

"What have I done Taylor?" I ask as we drive to Grey House.

"Permission to speak freely sir?" he asks, I sigh and nod.

"You may as well, you won't make me feel any worse than I already do" I say quietly.

"You are not the first man to lose it when his wife or girlfriend tells him she is pregnant, but its what you do next that will define you, you can't leave it, you have to make the effort to make things right...Gail said she was devastated last night, when you walked out, she is only about 4-5 weeks pregnant so if you are both not careful she could lose it"

I prick my ears up, "Four to five weeks you say, how do you know?" I ask

"Gail asked Mrs Grey how far along she was, and she said she was very newly pregnant about 4-5 weeks and the doctor wasn't too sure probably because it is so soon" he replies.

I frown and think back to what she said this morning, '_its possible the shot failed'_ my mind goes into overdrive, counting dates and it hits me, she did nothing wrong, the shot ran out early, it wasn't her fault, I close my eyes as I remember the cruel words I threw at her, and she just took it, why didn't she tell me the shot ran out early? I call Dr Green as soon as I reach my office and she confirms my suspicions, I rant at her saying I am going to sue and she coldly points out that I should be putting my energies into taking care of my pregnant wife rather than acting like an adolescent, she stops me in my tracks she is right of course, I hang up and call Flynn ...please be there.

"Christian, how are you? Elizabeth tells me you were after me last night, sorry about that, Parents Evening".

"Oh John I've fucked up" I sob

"Christian what's happened, calm down do you want me to come over to you at Grey House or do you want to make an emergency appointment here?"

"I need to see you John I've fucked everything up, I've lost her I've driven her away I'm a fucking stupid prick" I am sobbing down the phone, I have never lost control like this before.

"Christian stop it, stop it now, I'm on my way over now stay where you are" the line goes dead. I sit at my desk, I pull myself together and check my schedule, I don't want to work, I don't want to do anything I pick up the phone and tell Andrea to clear my schedule till lunchtime.

"But Mr Grey..." she starts

"Just fucking do it Andrea" I snarl and slam the phone down.

Moments later Ros comes in, "What the fucks wrong with you?" she says

"Don't fucking start Ros, I'm not in the mood" I snap, "What do you want?"

"Taiwan, we need to go over the plans for the visit" she says as she puts a file in front of me, I stare it and push it back to her.

"Just sort it and tell me what you've done" I say

She gapes at me, "Did you hear me, just do it, what do I fucking pay you for?" I snarl. She snatches the file up and stalks out and slams the door. I rest my arms on the desk and put my head down on them, and quietly sob.

My phone rings, "Yes" I snap

"Mr Grey, I have a Mr Flynn in reception asking for you, he doesn't have an appointment".

"Show him up Andrea" I say and hang up, I quickly try and pull myself together, as my door opens quietly. I stand and John Flynn looks closely at me.

"You look terrible Christian, what on earth has happened?"

"I'm fucking hung over, and I have lost my fucking wife" I snap.

"Ok, calm down and tell me everything from the beginning" he says as he sits down in front of my desk, I wave him over to the sofa in the corner of my office and I sit with him.

"Would you like a drink?" I ask, he shakes his head.

"Ana told me last night she was pregnant" I say, immediately John's eyebrows shoot up.

"I see" he says scribbling furiously.

"I didn't take it very well, that's the understatement of the year, I started ranting I accused her of getting pregnant on purpose and then I walked out and left her, I went to a bar and I got wasted, I came home and apparently ...I say apparently because I was so out of my skull I don't remember, but I told her that she would chose the baby over me" I stop and put my head in my hands.

"I see" he says again.

"Then this morning we had this enormous row, I woke up and she wasn't there, I was scared she had left me, and then she turned up we had a massive row and she just got dressed and went to work".

"Why? What did you argue about?" he asks

"The baby, my reaction, what happened last night" I stop.

"There is something you are not saying Christian, Ana is very familiar with your issues something must have happened to make her go to work without wanting to make things right, what happened?"

"She found out I was at the bar with Elena" I whisper. I see the look on Johns face, he looks at me as if I am completely out of my mind.

"Christian, why did you go and see Elena?" he asks carefully.

"I didn't I just bumped into her" I say ,"I had tried to call you and I just started walking, I found myself by the salon and she was just leaving, it wasn't planned, she saw I was in a state, and suggested we went for a drink, but she started trying to say I should stand up for myself and then she tried to kiss me, I recoiled from her and told her no, I said no John, for the first time in my life I said no to Elena".

I stop and he is continuing to write. "How did Ana find out?" he asks

"Elena sent a text and Ana saw it when she was putting me to bed, I was so drunk she had to undress me I was still pretty much fully dressed when I came to this morning, so I must have passed out before she managed to finish".

John shakes his head, "Why do you think Ana is upset Christian?" he asks

"Because I betrayed her, I have lost her trust and she thinks I told Elena about the baby, but I didn't, I just told her Ana wanted kids, and she told me to knock it on the head, but the text she sent said I would be a good father, so I can see why Ana thinks what she thinks, I accused her of getting pregnant on purpose, but I've since found out it wasn't her fault at all, the shot ran out early, and she has had so much on her mind recently with her dad and everything she was late going for her next one, and that was when she found out".

"Didn't Ana tell you the shot was defective?" he asks

"I didn't give her chance, I was ranting and acting like a complete bastard last night and this morning she was too angry with me over Elena to tell me, although she did say it could be the shot was defective or something like that, Taylor told me she had told Gail she was very newly pregnant, only about 4-5 weeks and I did the maths and realised the shot was to blame I rang Dr Green and she confirmed it".

"So why did you over react Christian?" Flynn looks carefully at me.

"Oh come on John seriously, what sort of father could I be, honestly, I'm not parent material, look at me for gods sake, I'm so fucked up I have destroyed Ana's life and I'll be damned if I am going to destroy an innocent little baby's life, I should have let Ana go when I had the chance she could do so much better than me"

"But its you she loves Christian" he says

"I can't think why, what have I done other than make her life hell" I shake my head.

"Christian stop being so hard on yourself, you have made tremendous progress since you have been with Ana, she has been the making of you, you need to talk to her calmly and listen to her, maybe a joint appointment would be beneficial, so I can act as an intermediary?" I nod hopeful that we can work this out.

"I have to go to Taiwan on Friday, so tomorrow - Thursday afternoon is that any good for you?" I ask, Flynn nods and puts me down in his schedule.

He stands and offers his hand, "having a baby is a life changing experience Christian, and don't forget Ana is probably as terrified as you, and don't forget she will be worrying about you more than she is herself, she loves you Christian she isn't about to leave you" I shake his hand, I wish I had his faith that I haven't screwed everything up completely.

I sit in my office for the rest of the morning just staring at the model gilder on my desk, I don't do anything at all, I have some lunch and pull myself together, I need to get something done, I am so far behind now, I throw myself into work have a few appointments and the next time I glance at the clock it's nearly 4pm. I reach for my Blackberry and call Sawyer.

"Sawyer how is Mrs Grey?" I ask.

"She is ok, still very upset, she has thrown herself into her work she hasn't come out of her office all morning, she had some lunch, and she said she wants to visit her father this evening"

"She ate something?" I ask

"Yes sir, a bagel, cream cheese and salmon bagel" he replies.

Oh thank god she ate something. "Ok thank you Sawyer, please take care of her"

"Yes sir" he replies, I kill the call.

I stare at the huge pile of work on my desk, I am going to have to stay late to get this done, I call home," Hello Grey residence" Gail says as she picks up the phone.

"Gail, don't make anything for dinner for me, I'm working late tonight at the office, I have to get it finished".

"Very good sir" she replies, "Is that all?" she asks.

I pause, "yes that's all" I say. I hang up, I feel totally miserable, I know I should go home and talk to Ana I know I am probably making things worse by staying late. I glance at a letter on my desk.

"Shit I forgot all about that" I say out loud, I pick up my Blackberry and call Flynn.

"John I have an appointment in Portland tomorrow afternoon, can we move our joint appointment to tomorrow evening?" I ask

"Certainly, no problem at all" he replies.

"Thanks John" I say quietly. I bury myself in my work and don't look up until my phone rings, I look at the clock, shit its 9pm. I look at the caller ID it's Ana, my heart wrenches I pick up the call.

"Ana" I say, I know I sound distant and cold. Why am I doing this?

"Hi" she says quietly, it takes my breath away and I inhale softly.

"Hi" I reply

"Are you coming home?" she asks me, I close my eyes, I still have a lot to do, I want to just say to hell with it and go home to my wife, but I am flying out to Taiwan on Friday, it needs to be done, plus I have no idea what sort of reception I am going to get.

"Later" I say quietly

"Are you at the office?" she asks

What? Does she really think I'm out with Elena, "Yes, where did you expect me to be?" I snap I close my eyes why did I just do that, I need to regain her trust and instead I am snapping at her.

"I'll let you go" she says, she sounds hurt.

The silence on the line spreads out nether of us hanging up, oh baby talk to me, I love you so much , please lets get over this, I love you we can work this out surely? But like the idiot I am I don't actually say any of that.

"Goodbye Ana" I say instead.

"Goodnight Christian she replies and I hang up on her. I grip the phone and smack myself on the forehead with it then I get back to work.

It's nearly 1am when I finally get home, I go to our room and our bed is empty, she followed through then with her threat of moving out of the bedroom, I drop my jacket on the floor and head upstairs to the spare room, I open the door quietly praying she is asleep in there, there she is, she has a box of tissues beside her and numerous used ones screwed up around her, I look at her face it glistens in the moonlight and I touch her face with my fingers, it is damp, her pillow is soaking wet, she has cried herself to sleep. I pull off my tie and sit on the chair and watch her sleep. Oh baby please forgive me, I love you. I sit there until about 6am I feel like shit I've had no sleep just sitting watching her, I'm going to be in no fit state to fly myself to Portland today. I head back downstairs for a shower.

When I come out I look around for my tie, where the fuck did I put it, I dress and head out to the kitchen, I grab myself a coffee and drink it down in one, and pour another. Gail appears.

"Good morning Mr Grey, what would you like for breakfast?" she asks

"I'll have my usual omelette please Gail" I say. I quickly send Ana an email telling her I'm going to Portland today, I don't want her worrying if she can't contact me. Not that she will want to.

She smiles at me, I must look pathetic, if she is smiling at me, I know she has taken Ana's side on this, I don't blame her, I've behaved like a complete asshole, I scrub my hands over my face and drink my second mug of coffee and eat my breakfast in silence.

Taylor appears as I am finishing, "Taylor, we are heading to Portland today, can you make the arrangements, and could you get Stephan on standby to fly Charlie Tango, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I don't feel up to flying myself. 

Taylor nods, "Sir" he says and leaves, I stare towards the stairs willing Ana to come down, but she won't its far too early yet. I sigh and head off to work. 

The morning flies past and I head off to Portland, things are wrapped up quickly and as we are heading back we stop for a bite to eat I think of my wife and wonder what she is doing. We arrive and are ready to get out of the car to board Charlie Tango when Taylor's phone rings.

He answers and looks at me, I go cold at the look on his face.

"Wait a moment Luke" he says

"Its Luke, he says he is with Mrs Grey" I snatch the phone from him

"Sawyer, what's happening, is the baby ok, what's going on?" I yell

"She's unwell, I'm taking her back to Escala" he says

Shit, all this worry is she going to lose the baby, no no no, what have I done, "Listen to me Sawyer I'm on my way now" I say

"I see" he says.

"Get her back to Escala and keep her comfortable, anything happens call Dr Green immediately do you understand me?" I say.

"Sir" he says

"Take care of her Luke please I'll be there as soon as I can" I beg

"Yes" he says and hangs up.

I am willing Charlie Tango to get back quicker we land and I am just getting into the car when my phone buzzes.

"Grey" I snap, why is the bank ringing me?

"Mr Grey sir, Troy Whelan I am terribly sorry to bother you but we have a young lady here claiming to be your wife, she seems very agitated and is asking for a cash withdrawal of 5 million dollars, she has supplied some identification but I need to obviously check with you for security reasons as you can appreciate this is highly irregular".

I go cold, "What does the girl look like?" I ask

"Petite, long dark hair, large blue eyes, very pretty, she is wearing jeans and a hooded jumper" he replies, I close my eyes, she's leaving me.

"Put her on" I demand

"Yes sir immediately if you would just wait a moment" I wait to be connected.

Suddenly I hear Ana's voice and my world collapses around me, "Hi" she says.

"You're leaving me" I blurt out, tears are filling my eyes and I am rapidly losing control.

"No...Yes" she says, I collapse into the seat and tears fall down my cheeks no baby please I'm sorry, don't leave me don't fucking leave me.

"Ana I..." is all I can get out, but my mind is screaming at her don't go. "You're going" is all I say.

"Yes" she replies.

My heart is breaking, I clutch my phone, I want to plead with her to reconsider, but her voice sounds so strange, I'm slowly dying here.

"But why the cash, was it always the money?" I ask, I want to know it seems so out of character for her, she has never had any interest in the money. Then I realise she must want it to set herself up and for the baby.

"No" comes the reply she sounds like she is crying.

"Is five million enough?" I ask

"Yes" she replies again, she sounds so upset, oh baby please don't do this to us forgive me please. What about the baby, a horrible thought strikes me, shit does she want the money for an abortion? No don't kill our baby.

"And the baby?" I ask fearing what she is going to say.

"I'll take care of the baby" she says

Oh thank god she's not having an abortion, she is leaving me then, she's really going, I've really fucked this up completely and lost the one thing in my life worth living for. Shit shit shit.

"This is what you want?" I ask, please say no baby

There is a silence, "yes" she eventually replies, and it rips me apart.

I inhale sharply, "Take it all" I hiss at her, what the fucking good is everything I have without her to share it with.

"Christian...its for you for your family please don't" she is crying. Why is she doing this?

"Take it all Anastasia" I say again

"Christian.." she says again, she sounds desperate, what is it baby why are you doing this?

"I'll always love you" I whisper into the phone and then I hang up, and sob.

My phone rings again, its that fucking idiot Whelan, "Mr Grey sir am I to proceed with the transfer of funds?" I shake my head

"Give my wife anything she wants, give her everything do you hear me" I say bitterly

"This is highly irregular sir" he starts

"JUST FUCKING DO IT, GIVE MY WIFE WHAT EVER SHE ASKS FOR DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" I bellow.

"Erm yes sir thank you for your time sir" the line goes dead.

"Sir" I lift my head up and Taylor looks grim.

"What" I snap

"Sir I've just heard Jack Hyde has been released on bale" he says

"WHAT THE FUCK" I shout, wait a moment, she sounded strange, she said it was for me for my family, she said she wasn't leaving me first of all, then changed it to she was, a glimmer of hope stirs inside me, I try to call her back on her Blackberry but it goes straight to voice mail, I tell Taylor about the conversation I have just had with Ana. He frowns and just then he gets a call from Sawyer, he puts him on speaker.

"What's going on Luke" Taylor says

"T I have no idea what's going on, she said she was ill, I took her home, she said she was going upstairs next thing she calls me to help her, I run upstairs thinking the worst ...you know, and I get up there and she's gone, I got down to see her getting in the elevator, something's happening T she looks terrified, I am tracking her now, her car is at the bank I'm just about to enter the bank".

"Ok Luke let us know as soon as you have a visual" Taylor is driving like a maniac he is tracking Ana's cell phone and we are heading towards the bank.

Moments later the phone rings again, "T I had a visual she is in the bank she saw me and ran back into the office, her car is outside"

"Luke she is on the move, she must have left by a back exit" Taylor is frantic.

My phone rings again, "Grey" I snap

"Mr Grey Sir, I am sorry to call you again but I believe something is terribly wrong, your wife asked for my phone but then threw it into the rubbish bin outside, she has just left the bank in a black dodge, I am rather concerned for her safety, she seemed very upset when she saw the young lady who was driving, she tried to sound casual, she called her Elizabeth and said something which suggested she worked with her".

"Listen to me Whelan, I am going to put you on speaker, when I say please repeat what you have just told me" I say.

Taylor listens to the bank manager and shakes his head. "Thank you Mr Whelan you have been very helpful" I say and I hang up.

I look at Taylor, "That fucker is blackmailing her or something, he has to be and Elizabeth is involved somehow, she is the HR woman at SIP" I am now pumped, my wife isn't leaving me she is in trouble and I need to get to her and help her.

As we are following the signal from Ana's cell phone, Taylor gets a call, it's Ryan, he puts him on speaker "T is Mr Grey there with you, that woman who works at SIP, in HR was spotted coming out of the gym with Mia Grey and Miss Grey wasn't going quietly, it seems she was taken against her will, please advise on action to be taken T"

Taylor glances at me, I feel like I'm going to be sick, everything suddenly falls into place, he has taken Mia and he has called Ana for a ransom, the sick fucker.

"Ryan, get a trace on Mrs Grey's cell and follow it, we are following it as we speak, my guess is when we find Mrs Grey we will also find Mia Grey" Taylor is keeping cool and calm.

"Ten four T out" Ryan is gone.

Taylor quickly calls Sawyer, "Luke what's the latest?"

"I'm following Mrs Grey's cell phone signal T no visual as yet"

"Ten four Luke, out" Taylor replies., Taylor puts his foot down on the gas and speeds faster.

All I can think is, hang on baby I'm coming.

We are in a run down area when Ana's cell phone signal stops, as we head towards it I am beside myself. We approach a run down playground and I look out of the window of the SUV and see Ana fall to the ground. It is all my worst nightmares come true in front of my eyes, I hear Taylor swear quietly. Ana baby no, she is lying on ground and not moving is she dead, what fuck has happened?

"NO" I scream, I am out of the car before it has even stopped I am running over to Ana, and fall on my knees beside her, "Ana" I scream, I have lost all self control, but at this moment I really don't care how I look, tears are pouring down my cheeks , "Ana Ana baby wake up, Don't leave me baby, I love you, oh god Ana I'm sorry, I love you don't leave me" I beg. The cold terror is racing thought my body this has happened before I was left with my mother who lay on the ground and wouldn't wake up no matter how much I called her name and she was dead, now here I am again the overwhelming sense of abandonment and fear is consuming me, you can't leave me baby, you just can't.

I pull her limp body into my arms, "Ana don't die please don't leave me baby don't leave me I need you baby I need you please don't leave me, I love you baby, stay with me" I am crying like I have never cried before as I rock and clutch her limp body to me.

I see Taylor talking to Elizabeth, she points to a building and Taylor shouts, "Mia, save Mia" Sawyer and Ryan head over to it. Moments later Ryan comes out holding Mia in his arms. No, no no no, not Mia too.

"Mia?" I ask I'm still on my knees clutching my wife tightly. "Is she alive?" I ask Ryan

He nods at me, "Just drugged sir" he says as he takes her over to one of the cars and lays her carefully down in the back seat.

I stare at the groaning body in front of me, and the gun beside Ana, she must have taken it from my desk, I recognise it as Leila's gun, my mind goes into cold revenge, I methodically take off my jacket and place it gently under Ana's head and carefully lay her out on the ground, and stand, I grab the gun and haul Hyde to his feet, I am calm and I drag him over to the wall, I notice Taylor has shoved Elizabeth inside the SUV and locked her in. He and Sawyer are running towards me, I have Hyde pinned up against the wall, and am pointing the gun straight at him, "Today you die you fucker" I snarl.

"Mr Grey give me the gun please sir" Taylor and Sawyer are trying to pull me off him.

"NO this fucker dies now!" I shout

"Mr Grey, Sir, your wife needs you, don't do this, think about what you are doing, she needs you, don't forget she is pregnant sir its not only Ana - your baby needs you too sir" Taylor isn't shouting at me, he is talking calmly, firmly and assertively and something clicks in my head, I lower my hand and hand Taylor the gun, both Sawyer and Taylor relax and as they do so I manoeuvre out of their hold and swiftly punch Hyde repeatedly in the gut. I speak on every punch, "That. Is. For. My. Sister. That. Is. For. My. Wife. You. Piece. Of. Shit." Sawyer pulls me off him, and Hyde falls to the ground. Taylor picks him up roughly and drags him back to where he was and gives him a swift kick. I return to Ana, she is still unconscious, Ryan is with her, he has covered her with a blanket from the car, "She is breathing sir, but by the look of her he gave her quite a beating" I look at Ana's face and see the bruising starting to come out.

"Mia?" I ask absently

"Miss Grey is fine sir she has been drugged just as I suspected, she says he drugged her" Ryan gestures towards Elizabeth locked in the SUV, she is crying bitterly. "The medics are on their way sir, we have recovered the money Mrs Grey withdrew from the bank as well" he says.

I nod but at this moment I don't give a shit about the money, and I pick Ana up into my arms she feels cold, I need to keep her warm, keep her safe, she can't die, she just can't, fuck the money I will give every last cent I have for my Ana to just open her eyes now, I rock her gently, tears start to fall again, "Baby please don't leave me, don't leave me" I moan.

The medics arrive, I watch as they move Mia from the car into an ambulance, Elizabeth is talking telling them Hyde had drugged her but as far as she knows Mia is unhurt. Two medics crouch beside me. "Mr Grey we need to tend to your wife" they say gently. I nod, and reluctantly but gently hand her over to them, I stay close holding on to her hand, I need the connection I need to know she is still with me.

"She's pregnant, please help her, please don't let anything happen to either of them" I whisper.

"Pregnant?" the medic looks at me, and I nod.

"Yes we just found out" I say.

"How long?" the medic replies

"Very early, 4-5 weeks" I say

The two medics look at each other with a grave expression.

"Ok Mr Grey we will do all we can" one says but the tone of his voice doesn't fill me with confidence.

Taylor, comes and stands with me, "Ok sir?" he says.

I nod, he pulls me to one side, I reluctantly let go of Ana's hand but I don't take my eyes off her. Taylor is whispering in my ear. "The gun sir, listen to me, when we took the gun from Miss Williams I registered it in my name, until we disposed of it, so there will be no awkward questions asked as to why you had an unregistered gun, listen to me sir this is important - it was my gun ok, Mrs Grey must have taken it from my office, it was my gun and she took it from my office ok sir?" Taylor looks at me carefully and I nod.

"Thank you" I say quietly.

"No problem sir, I will contact your father and tell him Miss Grey is ok, are you going with Mrs Grey in the ambulance?"

"Yes" I say immediately

"Very good sir, I will get the money back to the bank as well for you, is there anything else you need? I am going to stay with our other friend until the police take her away, they are talking with her at the moment" he nods towards Elizabeth crying and gesticulating to the police detective.

I remember our appointment with Flynn, "Can you call John Flynn and tell him we won't be able to make our appointment tonight and can you call my mother and have her meet us at the hospital"

Taylor nods, "Yes sir"

I watch as they load Ana into the ambulance, and I climb in with her, I grasp her limp hand tightly, come back baby please come back to me.

We arrive at the hospital, I watch as they unload Mia and then Ana, I am still holding Ana's hand as we walk into the hospital. I spot my mother running towards us all.

"Christian what's happened, your father rang" she looks at Mia and Ana and her hand flies to her throat and she starts to cry.

"Mom please, Hyde took Mia called Ana and asked for a ransom and my stupid wife decided to play the hero and go and rescue her".

We turn to see Jack Hyde being brought in he is groaning and whimpering.

"Christian what did you do?" my mother asks looking at his leg and the gunshot wound.

"Not me mom, Ana, she did that" I say proudly.

Mia is checked over and taken to a side room to sleep off the effects of the drug, my mom goes with her, I am waiting for Ana, they won't let me in while they are tending to her and its driving me insane, its taking forever, as I sit there, Sawyer and Taylor rush in. They look at me and sit down quietly in the corner. I look at Sawyer, he looks terrible, I'm guessing he realises he is out of a job, but I'm not even thinking about that at the moment.

"Mr Grey" I hear my name and stand. About time, I go into the side room, my wife is lying there she looks so fragile, it brings a lump to my throat. She has an IV attached to her arm. I stare at her. Oh god baby don't die. I immediately go to her and run my fingers down her cheek and grasp her hand tightly, I plant a small kiss on her forehead.

"Mr Grey, I'm Dr Bartley and I'm the doctor in charge of the care of your wife"

"Is she going to be ok?" I whisper, still staring at my wife intently, I turn and look up at Dr Bartley as she tells me the extent of Ana's injuries.

"Her ribs are bruised, Mr Grey and she has a hairline fracture to her skull, but her vital signs are stable and strong".

"Why is she still unconscious?" I ask looking back at Ana.

"Mrs Grey has had a major contusion to her head but her brain activity is normal and she has no cerebral swelling. She'll wake when she's ready, just give her some time". I nod.

I take a deep breath, "And the baby?" I whisper, I hold my breath waiting for the response.

"The baby is fine Mr Grey" the doctor smiles at me again

I let my breath out and close my eyes briefly, "Oh thank god" I breathe.

"We are going to move your wife to a private room now Mr Grey if you want to come up with us?" I nod and I grip Ana's hand and walk with her as we head up to the room.

When we arrive we are met by a nurse, she looks to be in her mid fifties. Dr Bartley introduces us, "Mr Grey this is Nora she will be the first port of call for your wife when she returns to us, as soon as she regains consciousness if you could let Nora know ok?"

I nod and look at Nora who smiles at me. I look at my watch its nearly 7pm, I call Ros, there is no way I'm going to Taiwan tomorrow.

"Christian what's happened, I have been trying to contact you all afternoon, where have you been and what the hell is going on?" she says when she picks up the phone.

"Shut up Ros and listen, Ana is in the hospital, that fucker Hyde, who sabotaged Charlie Tango got released on bail, he kidnapped my sister and called Ana demanding a ransom, and my stupid wife went off and tried to rescue Mia by herself, he has beaten her to a pulp and at this moment she is unconscious in hospital I am by her side and am not moving, so you are going to Taiwan on your own tomorrow, I'm relying on you Ros, do me proud" I stop.

There is a silence and then she replies, "Shit oh Christian, of course, I hope she's ok, I'll let you know what happens and take care, I'll do you proud boss you can rely on me"

"I know I can Ros, that's why I hired you" I say

I hear her throaty laugh, "Hope she's ok" she says again.

"Thanks" I say and I hang up before I start crying again.

There is a knock at the door, I look up to see Taylor poke his head around the door.

"Any news sir?" he asks.

I quickly tell him what the doctor said and ask him to go and tell my mother and let her know where we are. He tells me my father has arrived and is with Mia and my mom. He tells me he sent Sawyer home.

"Sir, I should tell you there are a number of reporters outside, have you informed Mrs Grey's parents because if they find out about this via the media it won't be very good".

I sigh, the last thing I want to do is call Carla, and as much as I like Ray I really don't want to have to tell him his daughter is lying unconscious after being beaten by her ex boss. I rub my eyes.

"Taylor could you go and inform Ray for me, and tell him I'll be down to see him as soon as possible, and I suppose I'll have to call Carla". I grimace at the thought.

He nods and is gone. I pull out my Blackberry and dial Carla's number, I look at my watch she should still be up its not that late.

"Hello" I hear the voice of Ana's mother down the line.

"Carla?" I ask

"Yes, who is this?" she asks, I roll my eyes for gods sake doesn't she recognise my voice.

"It's Christian, erm, there has been an incident, I wanted to let you know what happened before it appears in the media".

"Oh no, Ana is she hurt?" I can hear her starting sob and I haven't said anything yet, I hear her call Bob, the next thing, a male voice is on the line.

"Hello" he says

"Bob, its Christian, there has been an incident, Ana is in hospital, she is unconscious at the moment, but the prognosis is good, she got caught up in a kidnap attempt on my sister and got quite badly beaten by the perpetrator, but he is in custody, I will keep you updated on events as they happen" I stop, thankful I got to deal with Bob rather than Carla.

"Well...thanks for letting us know Christian, I hope she gets well soon, I'll tell Carla what you said, hope everything works out ok, and keep us posted"

"Thank you Bob, I will and I'll wish you goodnight" I say eager to get off the phone. I hang up and almost immediately my phone rings. It's Taylor.

"Taylor" I say as I pick up

I don't hear Taylor I hear Ray's voice, he is normally calm but he sounds agitated and worried "It's not Jason it's me - Ray, I borrowed Jason's phone, what the hell is going on Christian?"

"Oh Ray, your stubborn daughter has been trying to play the hero and took on a guy who had tried to kidnap my sister, he knew Ana and knew how to get her to co-operate and he beat her pretty badly but she is going to be ok, but she is unconscious at the moment, Ray I was so scared when I saw her just lying there" I stop before I lose control again.

"Hey come on son, hold it together, do you want me to come down, I'm sure Jason here wouldn't mind bringing me down?"

"No Ray that's fine, I'll keep you informed of what's going on if you want to come down tomorrow let me know and I'll send someone down to fetch you, but try not to worry you are still recovering"

"Ok if you are sure, she is going to be ok isn't she?" he asks

"Yes Ray, the doctor was very positive, we just have to wait till she comes round" I say

"Ok son, if you need me you know where I am" he says.

"Thanks Ray, goodnight" I say and hang up. He doesn't need this when he is getting over his own accident.

I hear the door open and look up, I see Kate standing there staring at Ana. "What the fuck did you do Grey?" she snarls at me.

"Don't start Kate, this is not my doing" I whisper, even though deep down I know I am ultimately responsible, if we hadn't been fighting she would have told me and not gone off on her own, She has lost her trust in me because of how I have behaved, and it has nearly cost her her life.

I quickly outline what happened and she stares at me, "Why did she do this alone, why didn't she tell you, something isn't right here Grey there is something you are not telling me?"

"Nothing is going on Kate, now if you don't mind I really don't want to argue with you any more" I glare at her. To my astonishment she starts to cry and sits down on the other side of the bed, and holds Ana's other hand.

"What the fuck was she thinking?" she says quietly.

"I don't know" I say.

Kate shakes her head, "I'm sorry Christian, when Elliott told me, I just got scared, Carrick called him and he seemed sketchy about what had happened and so I thought I'd come and see. I had a job getting in, but I said I was her sister in law" she grins weakly at me. I shake my head.

"What? Your goons didn't stop me, they knew I was ok to come through"

"They?" I ask

"Yes, Taylor is out there and another guy not the one who is always with Ana the other one"

"Ryan" I say quietly.

Kate looks at her watch, "Look I have to go, Elliot is down with your mom and Mia"

I nod, "Thanks for dropping by" I say sincerely

She smiles at me and kisses my cheek before disappearing out of the door. I sit and hold Ana's hand willing her to wake up. "Wake up baby, I'm so sorry, come back to me baby, I love you so much, don't leave me, I need you, our baby needs you" I whisper to her I stop, the baby is fine, I can't believe I feel so relieved about that, the thought of her losing the baby really upset me earlier. I feel so tired, I rest my head on my hands and shut my eyes.

I don't sleep though, just sit and wait. The nurse comes in every so often and does checks, I watch carefully as she makes notes on Ana's chart. I must doze off for a while, but I am awake when I hear the door open, my dad pokes his head around the door.

"Hi dad" I say quietly

"How is she?" he asks

"Same, why won't she wake up?" I ask

"She will when she's ready" he says. I scrub at my face and stand and stretch.

"Christian why don't you go home and get some sleep?" my dad asks

I shake my head, "I'm not leaving her" I say adamantly

"Christian you should sleep" he persists

"No dad" I say "I want to be here when she wakes up"

He nods, and then tries again, "I'll sit with her, its the least I can do after she saved my daughter"

I look up, "How's Mia?" I ask

He tells me she's fine and getting over the drugging, he tells me he feels a fool relenting on her security, we talk a while longer and then he leaves, I settle down again and drift off into a fretful sleep.

I am awakened by sunlight streaming in, I look up and blink and check my watch, its nearly 8:30 I look at Ana she is still unconscious I am really worried why hasn't she come around yet. I wander out to find the nurse, I find another young nurse at the station.

"Where's Nurse Nora?" I ask

"Good morning Mr Grey, she has gone home her shift finished, she will be back this evening, you are stuck with me now, I came in earlier when I started my shift but you were sleeping, has Mrs Grey rejoined us?" she smiles at me.

"No, that's why I am here, surely she should have regained consciousness by now?"

She leads me back into the room and does some observation tests, "Everything is as it should be Mr Grey we just have to wait and be patient"

I sit back down in the chair. Moments later Taylor appears, he has a bag in his hand and hands it to me, I look inside and see some sub rolls and a he hands me flask of coffee. "Gail sent these" he says. Ryan appears behind him with armfuls of flower arrangements, I look at them.

"Thank you" I say to Taylor as I take the bag, "Where are they all from?" I ask Ryan as he dumps them on the shelf at the side of the room.

"One from Elliot and Kate, one from your mother and father, one from Mia, one from Andrea, and one from your staff at Grey house.

I swallow deeply I never expected any of that, but of course everyone loves Ana.

I look at Taylor, and he smiles at me.

"Gail wanted to send some flowers for her but I said no, so she is busy cooking and stocking up the freezer instead its taking her mind off things, it smells glorious as soon as you walk in back at Escala" he grins at me, I smile back.

My phone rings, I glance at it, and frown, "How come you are phoning me?" I ask

Taylor looks at me sheepishly, "Mr Steele was very upset so I offered him my phone so he could call you whenever he wanted – I diverted incoming calls to my spare, in case you needed me"

I answer the call, "Ray" I say

"Christian how is she?" he asks

"No change" I say with a sigh.

"Christian could you send one of your young men down to fetch me I need to see my Annie for myself?" he asks

"Of course Ray, straight away" I say.

I hang up, "Taylor go and fetch Ray, he wants to see Ana, and get your damn phone back from him" Taylor smiles as he leaves.

I pick up my phone and call Andrea.

"Mr Grey, how is Mrs Grey?"

"No change, listen Andrea, can you arrange a cell phone, nothing too sophisticated, just a basic one, get it programmed with my office, cell phone and home number and Ana's office and cell phone numbers and get the first year pre paid in full and have it couriered over here to me at the hospital as soon as possible...oh and thank you for the flowers and please thank everyone else for the other bouquet"

"Yes sir right away, and you are very welcome, by the way I have a message from Ros, she asked me to tell you that she left on time for Taiwan and will contact you as soon as she lands"

"Thank you Andrea" I hang up.

Moments later, Taylor appears wheeling in Ray, he looks terrible, he gazes at Ana and he looks like his heart is breaking.

"Oh Annie what have you done to yourself, you stubborn girl, come on Annie open your damn eyes" he turns to me, "If you don't take her across your knee, I sure as hell will, what the hell was she thinking?" I can't help but think of the irony of what Ray has just said.

"Trust me Ray, I might just do that" I mutter.

He shakes his head, "What possessed her to do such a thing, no disrespect to your sister Christian but honestly, what did she think she could do, why didn't she call you?"

"I was in Portland on business" I say, I'm not about to tell him we weren't talking.

"Hell Annie, wake up now girl do you hear me". He pauses, "Does Carla know?" he asks,

I nod," I spoke to her last night, she started crying and I ended up telling Bob"

"Sounds about right, that woman can't do anything without crying or being an emotional wreck, I suppose I'd better call her at some point, but I try and make a point of not having to deal with Carla"

Ray and I sit and talk, he is such a calm man his presence is a comfort to me and just as he is ready to go, Taylor walks in with the cell phone I got Andrea to courier over and yet another bouquet.

I hand it to Ray, "This is for you Ray, so you don't have to borrow Taylor's, you can call me any time on it, it should have all my numbers programmed in and Ana's should be on there too, if you need anything at any time just pick it up ok, and don't worry about the bill, its fully paid for the first year"

Ray looks at the phone, "That is mighty generous of you Christian, thank you, I'll get it back to you when I get out of here"

I shake my head, "No Ray, it's yours" I say

"But, I can't accept this, you have done enough for me already"

"Ray you are a self employed man, you need a cell phone these days for that alone, consider it a business acquirement if you feel funny about it" I grin at him.

He nods, "I can't say it won't be useful, thank you Christian" he says eventually.

"Just one thing Ray" I ask, "Can I make a note of your number?"

Ray hands me the phone and I quickly find the number and program it into my Blackberry and hand it back.

Taylor takes Ray back to his room, and wander over to the bouquet to see who its from, I smile its from Ros and Gwen she must have arranged it straight after I spoke to her last night. I sit and wait for Ana to wake up, a while later Taylor comes back grinning.

"What?" I ask

"I have just been giving Ray a lesson in how to use a cell phone, expect a few unexpected calls he seems to be getting the hang of it though" he says. "Also Detective Clarke is here, I tried to tell him Ana is still unconscious but he won't leave".

"Send him in" I say, Taylor leaves and moments later Det Clarke comes in.

"Detective, as you can see my wife is in no state to answer any of your questions" I say in an irritated tone.

"She is a headstrong young woman Mr Grey" he replies

You can say that again, I think, to him I say "I wish she had killed the fucker"

Detective Clarke smiles wryly, "That would have meant more paperwork for me Mr Grey, Miss Morgan is singing like the proverbial canary, Hyde is a real twisted son of a bitch, and he has a serious grudge against your father and you, I will have to interview your wife when she is well enough, I'll leave you in peace for now though" he says

"Thank you" I say gratefully and watch as he leaves.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The morning passes and Taylor comes with some lunch for me, and as we head into the afternoon I am getting more and more anxious, surely Ana should have awoken by now, there has been periodical visits from the nurse and she just keeps telling me to be patient, in the end I can't stand it any more, I pull out my phone and call my mother.

"Mom I need you" I blurt out as soon as she answers.

"Christian darling what's wrong? How's Ana?" she asks

"That's it mom, she is still unconscious she hasn't come round yet, I am worried, the nurse keeps saying I have to wait, but surely she should have come around by now, please mom can you come over?" I beg

"Of course I can darling, don't worry, I'll be there as soon as I can"

"Thanks mom" I say, feeling slightly calmer I hang up.

About half an hour later the door opens and my mom is there, I must look a mess because the shock on her face when she sees me is quite alarming. She comes straight over to me and sits beside me, and carefully wraps her arms around me being careful to touch me only where she knows it is safe and pulls me to her, but at this moment I want more and for the first time in my life I let her hold me properly, she normally hugs me around my neck, she has always respected my boundaries, but as I move her arms shift so they are around my chest and shoulders, I feel myself freeze and she tries to move but I hang on to her I turn to her and bury my head in her shoulder and cling to her like a small child.

"Why won't she wake up mom?" I moan

"Hush it's alright Christian, its ok" she is talking to me soothingly and hesitantly she starts running her hand up and down my back, and for the first time in my life I feel comforted by this gesture. Eventually I pull away, and she reaches for Ana's chart and starts to read.

I watch her carefully waiting for some reaction, suddenly her eyes grow wide.

"What?" I ask alarmed, "What's wrong, tell me mom?" I demand.

"She's pregnant?" my mom whispers, I nod, trying not to show my panic which I feel every time that word is mentioned.

"Yes but don't say anything" I say

"Does she know she is pregnant?" my mother asks

I nod and she looks at me incredulously

"Why on earth did she go off and try and rescue Mia on her own when she knew she was pregnant, why didn't she call you, what was she thinking?" my mom shakes her head, I can see this is upsetting her, she had never been able to have kids of her own, and I can see the thought that Ana put the baby in danger with her actions is upsetting her.

"It wasn't her fault mom, we weren't talking" I mutter I put my head down, it was all my fault she didn't think to contact me because she doesn't trust me any more.

I see my mom stiffen, "What do you mean you weren't talking?" She asks angrily, "what did you do?"

"Mom" I begin

"Christian, what did you do?" she asks again more forcefully, I deserve this and once again I feel myself losing my self control.

"I was so angry" I sob as tears pour down my cheeks again; I have cried more this past few days than I have my entire life.

My mom's face softens, "Hey" she says quietly and wraps her arms around me again, I sob quietly into her shoulder.

"Oh mom its all my fault, she was terrified, I am so ashamed she was scared to tell me she was pregnant because she knew I would lose it, it took me ages to get it out of her, and when she finally told me she was pregnant I proved her right and I lost it completely, I behaved so badly mom, I was so cruel, I accused her of doing it on purpose and then I did something unforgivable mom, I walked out on her I just left her and went and got drunk"

I hear my mom sigh, but she doesn't stop comforting me, "Oh Christian, did you call Dr Flynn?" she whispers.

I nod, "He was unavailable, at some parents evening or something, I didn't know what to do, I just kept walking I was a mess, I'd just walked on my wife I didn't know what to do"

"Where did you go?" she asks

"I just kept walking and I bumped into an old friend" I say carefully

"Who?" she asks

I don't answer her and bury my head deeper into her shoulder and cling to her tightly.

"Christian, who?" she asks a little more forcefully.

"Elena" I whisper

I feel her stiffen and she stops stroking my back, "Oh Christian how could you?" she says.

I look up into her eyes and see disappointment, "it wasn't planned mom, honestly it wasn't" I say earnestly, I need her to believe me.

"Ok, tell me what happened" she says calmly I put my head back on her shoulder and I talk telling her all about the encounter and how she made a pass at me and I had said no, I unburden myself and I tell her everything, and how she text me and how Ana had found the text and assumed I had told her about the baby, when I have reached the end I stop and sigh deeply.

"You told me you'd cut all ties" mom says eventually

"I know, but seeing her finally put it all into perspective for me, you know... with the child, for the first time I felt what we did... it was wrong" I shiver unexpectedly.

Mom pulls me away from her and grasping my shoulders she looks into my eyes. "What she did darling" then she smiles, "Children will do that to you, make you look at the world in a different light"

I shake my head, and reach out for her again, and she pulls me back close to her, and I put my head on her shoulder again, I feel safe here, for the first time in my life I am letting my mom in and it feels right, it feels safe. I carry on talking.

"She finally got the message...and so did I...I hurt Ana" my face crumples again and my mom holds me tightly rocking me.

"We always hurt the ones we love darling, you have to tell her you're sorry and mean it and give her time".

I nod and sniff loudly, "She said she was leaving me" I whisper

"Did you believe her?"

I nod, "At first yes"

Mom shakes her head, "Darling you always believe the worst of everyone - including yourself, you always have, Ana loves you very much and its obvious you love her".

"She was mad at me" I say remembering how she berated me that morning.

"I'm sure she was, I'm pretty mad at you right now" my mom says and then she smiles "I think you can only be truly mad at someone you really love".

I look up at my mom and she nods, I manage a small weak smile and say, "I thought about it and she has showed me over and over how much she loves me, to the point of putting her own life in danger"

Mom smiles and nods, her eye brows are raised, "She has darling" she agrees

I look at my wife who I have finally accepted loves me unconditionally and the pain I feel seeing her lying there unconscious rips me apart. My tears flow and I throw my arms around my mom and bury my head in her shoulder again.

"Oh mom, why won't she wake up? I nearly lost her" I cry inconsolably into my mothers shoulder and she just holds me and comforts me.

"She will darling, she will" she says

I don't know how long we sit there, me practically in my mothers lap and her holding me tightly, her arms wrapped around my back and chest and me clinging to her. I talk I tell her all my worries about being a good father and my fears about losing Ana I unburden myself and open up like I have never done before, and my mom just listens and offers really good advice. Eventually I break away and scrub my face with my hand.

"Better?" she says with a smile.

"I nod, thanks mom" I whisper.

She grips my hand, "It's taken twenty four years for you to let me hold you like this" I can see this has meant more to my mom than anything else.

"I know mom...I'm glad we talked" I say, I do feel much better I feel liberated, it's almost been like an epiphany.

She touches my face, "me too darling, I'm always here, I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother" I see the excitement in her eyes and I smile.

She looks at her watch, "I'd better be going soon as its getting late, and you should really think about getting some sleep Christian, you look so tired".

I shake my head, "I'm not leaving her" I say adamantly and my mom smiles.

The door opens and Nurse Nora comes in followed by Dr Bartley, I watch as Dr Bartley and my mom have a quick discussion and more tests are done. Nora changes the IV.

"Why isn't she waking up?" I ask again

Dr Bartley smiles "She will when she is ready, there is no reason for her not to" I nod as they leave I grip Ana's hand and run it along my stubbly face. Then I kiss it.

"Oh baby please come back to me, I'm sorry, sorry for everything, just wake up I miss you, I love you" I watch her carefully ...nothing, I sigh and rest my head on my hands and close my eyes.

I awaken suddenly, I feel something... fingers in my hair, Ana is that you have you come back to me baby? I lift my head so quickly I see her hand fall back on to the bed, I look at her, her eyes are open, the elation at seeing her awake fires through me.

"Hi" she croaks, the relief is enormous, I grasp her hand tightly.

"Oh Ana" it's all I can say, I rub her hand with my cheek she has come back to me, she's awake.

"I need the bathroom" she whispers.

What? That is the first thing she comes out with?! I frown, but I have an overwhelming urge to break into hysterical laughter, of all the things to say.

"Okay" I say

Shit she's trying to get up, for gods sake Ana, will you stop it, I panic and call for the nurse, "Ana stay still I'll call a nurse" I demand

She ignores me and continues to try and get up, "Will you do as you are told for once" I snap at her.

"I really need to pee" she rasps

Oh thank god, Nurse Nora has arrived; she takes command quickly and efficiently.

"Christian, Christian wake up" I am pulled back to the present by a familiar voice, I look up Ana is standing next to me I am still sitting at my piano, I must have fallen asleep, I stretch and wrap my arms around her and pull her closer.

I kiss her stomach and press my cheek against it. "I'm so sorry baby, you don't have to give up work yet if you don't want to, and will you forgive me for the way I behaved tonight?" I whisper.

She smiles at me and puts her hands in my hair, "Come to bed Christian, I miss you" she says, I stand and grasp her hand and we head to bed and I know that once again I am forgiven.

I wake up the next morning and she is sound asleep beside me. I ease out of bed and as I do so she awakens.

"Good morning beautiful" I say grinning at her.

She smiles at me, and struggles to sit up, I help her and after a shower I help her dress and we head to the kitchen for breakfast.

"What are your plans today?" I ask carefully

She sighs, "I am finishing off and tying up loose ends, I want to finish at the end of this week until after the baby is born"

My head whips around and I stare at her, "You are not doing this because of what I said last night are you? Because I was wrong, I shouldn't have said that" I say.

She shakes her head, "No I have been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now, I am getting so huge its an effort just to walk about and I get so tired so quickly, its time to call it a day until I deliver this little guy" she touches her stomach.

I get up and walk over to her and place my hand on her stomach and kiss her gently on the cheek.

"Thank you baby" I whisper.

At that moment Sawyer appears, Ana smiles at him and tells him she will be ready in about 10 minutes he nods and disappears into his office, I watch him go, Ana had begged me not to fire him saying it was not fair to blame him for her actions, she promised me if I kept him on as her CPO she would behave and co-operate, that was a deal I couldn't reject and I agreed.

I watch my wife waddle off to work and I smile as I watch her go, she has done so well at SIP now called Grey publishing, she has a gift for it and the company has grown well. She is still getting her team sorted and I have helped where I can, but I am incredibly proud of her for what she has achieved. I should tell her so more often.

Taylor appears, I go upstairs and bring down the Warrant CD, and hand it to Taylor, "Can you rip this CD at some point I want the track Blind Faith converted to MP3 so I can add it to my Ipod". Taylor nods and takes it to his office.

_One month later_

"What are you doing today?" I look at Ana as I get ready for work, she is huge, at nine months pregnant, she can hardly move about, but she is still so beautiful.

"I'm finishing off the nursery" she says firmly

"What do you mean finishing off?" I ask, I have caught her climbing up on to chairs and doing all sorts of things recently; she has been giving Sawyer nightmares as he has been having to trail her around the house and stopping her doing things which she shouldn't be doing in her condition.

"I want to put in the toys you bought and get the crib and everything ready, she says innocently.

"Ok" I say, "but if I find out you have been doing anything unacceptable I will be pissed" I say firmly

She smiles at me, "I wouldn't dream of it, have a little faith in me" she says and she wraps her arms around my neck.

My mouth twitches into a smile; my mind is drawn immediately to that song and the words pop into my head.

_...Blind Faith in you  
>I've got<br>Blind faith in you  
>And I'm not sure I deserve<br>A women so true, but I love  
>That you think I do<em>

_With You and Faith, beside me  
>I'm feelin' stronger every day<em>

_Blind faith in you  
>I got<br>Blind faith in you  
>its true<br>Blind faith in you  
>I got<br>Blind faith in you  
>And I'm not sure I deserve<br>A woman so true but I love  
>That you think I do<em>

I wrap my arms around her we can't get that close any more her stomach between us puts her at arms length, as I caress her bump I feel our son kick furiously and I smile.

I kiss her and head off to work, telling her to call me if anything happens.

I am in the middle of a meeting with Ros and the CEO and board of a company I am taking over, we are just discussing the finer points of the deal we have put together when my Blackberry vibrates I pull it out and look at it, its Ana, as I do this I see Taylor enter the room quietly looking at me anxiously.

"One minute gentlemen, I need to take this" I say as I answer the call. "Ana" I say,

"Christian my waters just broke, its time" Ana says calmly, I jump up and run my hands through my hair.

"I'm on my way baby, who is with you, are you alright?" I am babbling and getting agitated. Ros immediately gathers what is happening and takes charge of the meeting.

"It appears that Mr Grey is going to have to leave us I'm afraid gentlemen, it seems he is about to become a father" she smiles at me, and the men around the table all beam at me and offer their congratulations. I rush from the room closely followed by Taylor.

"How did you know Taylor?" I ask remembering his anxious entrance into the meeting room.

"Gail phoned me Sir, she was with Mrs Grey when her waters broke, and she called me straight away" he replies.

I shout at Andrea to cancel all my appointments until further notice as I fly out of the office, she beams at me knowing what it meant. We get to the car in record time. Taylor drives me home and I see Ana waiting patiently on the sofa with her bag at her feet, Gail is holding her hand and I can see she is in pain. I rush to her and drop to my knees beside her.

"Baby are you ok?" I ask

She looks at me and grasps my hand "I'm fine" she gasps, "just a contraction" she says, as it passes I help her to her feet and we make our way to the car, Taylor has called ahead to the hospital and Dr Green is waiting for us. I marvel at Ana's calm demeanour, I am beside myself as usual and probably making things worse, but Ana is as cool as a cucumber. Sawyer looks anxiously at us, and follows in the other SUV, he isn't really needed but I know he wants to be around so I don't say anything.

As we are making our way to the hospital Ana doubles up in pain again, its killing me to see her in such agony, and not being able to do a damn thing about it, I hold her tightly and she grips my hand so hard I groan in pain, and she has her other hand gripping my arm which I have wrapped around her, I feel her fingernails digging into my flesh.

"Baby you are making me a little bit uncomfortable" I whisper to her.

She looks at me incredulously, "Christian, we will talk about uncomfortable when you are nine months pregnant and in labour ok?!" she snaps, I grin, I asked for that really, I see Taylor smiling.

We arrive at the hospital and we are ushered to a private delivery room, Dr Green quickly examines Ana and states she has a long way to go. A monitor is attached and I watch as the baby's heart beat is registered and I sit and wait. While we are waiting I call my mother.

"Mom, we are at the hospital, Ana's waters broke and she is in labour" I say

"Oh Christian that's wonderful news, give her our love and keep us posted".

"I will" I say, "How long will it take mom?" I ask. I hear my mom chuckle.

"Christian, how long is a piece of string? Babies come when they are ready, you just have to sit back and let it take its course" she says to me.

Great, something else totally out of my control, if I had had my way Ana would have had an elective caesarean, controlled and none of this helplessness. But Ana was adamant she was having a natural birth, and I couldn't really argue against that, so I kept my mouth shut.

As the hours pass I am getting more and more concerned nothing seems to be happening, Ana keeps getting these contractions and it is making her weaker and more tired but she is not progressing. After what seems like an eternity Dr Green pulls me to one side. "Mr Grey, Ana isn't progressing as she should, we should soon start thinking about a C Section, she can't go on like this". I nod, but know we will be fighting a losing battle, as she is adamant she wants to deliver this baby naturally.

"Is she in any danger?" I ask

"No not at the moment she isn't, but we are getting to the point where we need to make a decision, and say enough is enough"

I sigh, "She is so adamant that she wants to deliver naturally" I say

Dr Green smiles, "It is the one thing she has control over" she says wryly and I know that that is a dig at me for my over protective and controlling behaviour, I realise I have caused this, I have practically driven both Ana and Dr Green insane with my constant concerns and attempts to take control, throughout the pregnancy, if I had let up and not kept Ana on such a tight leash she wouldn't feel the need to stubbornly pursue decisions which she knows I have little say on.

"Dr Green you need to come quickly" we are disturbed by a young nurse as we rush towards Ana I see Dr Green frown as she looks at the monitor, she turns to Ana.

"Mrs Grey, you've been in labour for fifteen hours now, your contractions have slowed in spite of the Pitocin, we need to do a C section" she pauses and glances at me, "the baby is in distress"

What? No, no no, "About fucking time" I blurt out as panic sweeps over me.

"Christian quiet" Ana whispers to me and squeezes my hand she looks so tired and weak. Dr Green suddenly looks at the monitor and takes Ana's wrist and checks her pulse, she carefully examines her and looks at Ana.

"Mrs Grey please C section". She sounds adamant and I know something is terribly wrong. I can tell with the look on Dr Green's face, what isn't she saying, I look at Ana, oh baby this isn't the time to be stubborn.

"Please Ana" I beg.

"Can I sleep then?" she asks

"Yes baby yes" I say and kiss her forehead, I am almost sobbing I know something is wrong and I am rapidly losing my self control.

"I want to see the Lil Blip" she murmurs

"You will" I say

"Okay" she whispers

"Finally" Dr Green mutters, and she jumps into action, "Nurse page the anaesthesiologist, Dr Miller, prep for a C section" she looks at Ana, who is deathly white, "Mrs Grey we are going to move you to the OR"

"Move?" we both say the same thing.

"Yes now" Dr Green is worried what is going on?

Suddenly we are moving and moving quickly, all hell is breaking loose what is going on, Dr Green pulls me to one side, "Mr Grey you will need to change into scrubs"

"What?" I stammer

"Now Mr Grey" Dr Green demands, I let go of Ana and go to follow a nurse who is gesturing to me, Dr Green grasps my arm, "Mrs Grey's blood pressure has plummeted, the baby is in distress I am hoping I am wrong, but that is normally a sign that the placenta has become detached and Mrs Grey is haemorrhaging, we need to move fast or...I won't lie to you Mr Grey we could lose them both"

I gasp in fear and quickly change into scrubs, I rush back to Ana's side, don't die baby, please don't die, I try not to show my fear as I grasp Ana's hand.

She looks up at me; she looks terrible, the activity in the room is at fever pitch, "I'm frightened" she whispers to me.

"No baby, no I'm here, don't be frightened, not my strong Ana" I whisper to her and kiss her gently; I am trying to convince myself as much as her that everything is ok.

"What is it?" she asks me

"What?" I reply evasively

"What's wrong?" she asks

"Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine" I lie, "baby you're just exhausted" I say but I am terrified.

Dr Green says something to Ana and announces that she is having another contraction; she asks Ana if she can feel anything. Oh please hurry up, what if it's too late what if our son dies what if Ana dies? I try and push my thoughts away and concentrate on being strong for Ana, she needs me I can't blow it now, she needs me more than she has ever needed me before, she has made me a better man, and it's the least I can do to be strong for her now.

I watch as Dr Green talks to Ana and then I hear the words "Good Dr Miller lets go"

I peep over the screen and see Ana's stomach wide open and Dr Green delving in I feel sick but I can't tear my eyes away, it looks like some kind of horror slasher film to me, and I have to keep telling myself that this is routine surgery. Then I see him, Dr Green pulls her hands out and there is my son, my eyes fill with tears.

"Suction, good" I hear Dr Green say, and something is pushed into my son's mouth, I watch intently, then he cries its an angry cry, and my face breaks into a huge smile but I also have tears rolling down my cheeks.

"You have a boy Mrs Grey, check his Apgar" Dr Green announces.

"Apgar is nine" someone else says

"Can I see him?" Ana whispers from beside me, I let go of her hand, and go to fetch my...our son, I wait as he is wrapped in a towel and blanket and handed to me, oh my god, my son, I am holding my son, I helped to make this little boy Ana and I made him with our love, the emotions I am feeling at this moment are overwhelming, and I realise that this tiny helpless baby is dependent on me I feel a surge of overwhelming love and my protective instincts kick in I wrap my arm around him and walk over to Ana. I have tears in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks but I don't care, this has to be one of the most unbelievable moments of my life.

"Here is your son Mrs Grey" I whisper, I can barely speak I am so choked with emotion.

"Our son" she whispers "He's beautiful" she says as she gazes at him.

"He is" I agree I never thought I would ever experience any emotion like this and it is all down to my Ana , she has made me the man I now am. I look at her, "Thank you Ana" I whisper and she looks up at me and smiles.

oooOOOooo

I am still clutching my son tightly as Ana is cleaned up and sorted out, Dr Green comes over to me and glances down at my son who is sleeping peacefully, "it was touch and go there for a moment" she says seriously, "but it all worked out ok, the placenta hadn't become totally detached, thankfully, but it was starting to pull away and she was bleeding quite heavily, but she is fine now and everything worked out for the best – these things are sent to test us" she smiles at me.

I remember Taylor and Sawyer are waiting outside, I go out with my son in my arms I am still dressed in scrubs, have this huge grin on my face, they both leap to their feet as I approach them.

"Congratulations Sir" they both say together, they gaze down at my son and I see them smile, it is amusing to see these two huge burly men going gaga over a baby.

"Is Mrs Grey alright?" Sawyer says looking at me carefully, I nod.

"She is sleeping at the moment" I say. "She had to have a C Section in the end".

"We knew something was wrong when you all came flying out of the delivery room" Taylor says shaking his head.

I look at these two men, their job is to protect me and my family, and I know they go above and beyond the call of duty.

"Taylor could you do me a favour?" I ask

"Certainly sir" he says immediately

"Can you go home to Gail and let her know and take the evening off and relax" I say with a smile, I turn to Sawyer, "same goes for you, get Ryan to come over here an do a spell" I say.

They both look at me as if I have grown two heads, and then they both nod and Sawyer gets on the phone to Ryan. Neither of them leave until Ryan has arrived, when he does he looks at my son and then at me and congratulates me.

I call my mother, Ana's mother, Ray, Mia and Elliot, and finally Andrea, I ask her to get PR to release a press statement, and I tell her I am taking two weeks off and to get Ros to call me so I can discuss what I need to do with the latest mergers and acquisitions we are involved in, but at this moment none of that is important it all pales into insignificance as I stare at my beautiful son. I am sitting with Ana she is sleeping peacefully, and I can't tear my eyes away from my son.

I don't know how long we sit there, I start talking to him, and I am overjoyed as he opens his eyes and looks at me, I touch his tiny fingers and marvel at his strength as he grips my finger tightly.

"Hello Teddy, I'm your daddy, I am going to be your best friend and possibly your worst nightmare, I am going to love you and protect you with my life, you are going to have the start in life which was denied me and you are always going to feel safe, loved and well cared for, I swear to you that you are never going to feel unloved or abandoned and nobody will ever hurt you I promise you that, I am so sorry I wasn't happy and behaved badly when your mommy told me you were coming, I was stupid and immature and I blamed your mommy and you, and for that I will never forgive myself, I do want you Teddy, I love you and I always will" I look up and see Ana smiling at me.

"That was lovely" she says quietly.

"I'm so sorry baby" I say and she shakes her head.

"It's in the past leave it there, let's look forward to the future now, the three of us" she says as she reaches for me.

"God you are so wise" I say.

She tries to gingerly lift herself up, and holds out her arms, I gently place Teddy in them and watch as she exposes her breast to feed him, she looks up at me and smiles, "Could you fetch someone I'm not sure what I am doing here" she asks.

As I stand to go there is a knock at the door, I go to answer it and my mother is there, I grasp her arm and pull her in quickly.

"Mom can you help Ana she wants to feed him" I say

She immediately goes into doctor mode and walks over to Ana and patiently shows her how to successfully nurse our son, I watch transfixed as our son suckles nosily. Ana transfers him to her other breast and he starts again. I wonder briefly if my own mother had ever treated me with so much love and careful affection, I quickly push those thoughts from my mind. When Teddy has finished and has been burped my mother gently takes him from Ana and unwraps him and checks him over, I watch her every move anxiously, when she is done, she re wraps him and hands him back to Ana.

"He's perfect" she says she has tears in her eyes.

"Do you want to hold him Grace?" Ana asks

My mother doesn't need asking twice and swoops on her grandson and holds him in her arms. She is humming gently to him. It makes my heart ache that she never got to experience this herself and all the years I denied her the opportunity to cuddle me, makes me feel bad for her. Eventually she hands him back, and comes over to me, I hold out my arms and she doesn't hesitate to hug me tightly to her, she kisses my cheek.

"I'd better get back to work, I have my own patients to see" she says and with that she is gone.

I sit down with Ana, on her bed and wrap my arm around her; I gaze down at our son in her arms.

"Thank you baby" I whisper.

"What for?" she asks

"Everything, you have made me a better person, you have shown me how to love and your blind faith in me when I continually fu...mess up is humbling"

She grins at me, "and its nice to see you are thinking about curbing your potty mouth now" she says. "Seriously though Christian, I have always had faith in you, it's about time you started having it in yourself, you are a good man, and you are worth all my love"

I shake my head, these words are still so hard to believe, I swallow hard, "I've got blind faith in you baby, so I guess I'd better start believing what you say" I say as I kiss her.

She looks up at me straight in the eye as she quietly says "That's all I ask".


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

We are moved to a private room, and Ana looks tired, she has slept on and off since our son was born, but she was in labour for fifteen hours and then had to undergo major surgery, I look at her and it never ceases to amaze me how strong she is, I look down at my son sleeping in my arms, and I shiver when I recall that I nearly lost them both, when Dr Green said there was a possibility I could lose them I have never been so terrified in my life, the only time that came close was when Ana went after Hyde and I saw her lying unconscious on the concrete. I am pulled from my thoughts as Ana touches my arm.

"Are you still here, you should go home and get some sleep" she says

"I'm not going anywhere" I say firmly

"Christian, you must get some sleep, you are going to be kept awake for months possibly years as it is from now on, go and make the most of your last good nights sleep".

I smile at her, she is right I suppose, I should go and try and get some sleep, I don't want to though, when Ana is not beside me in our bed I still have nightmares, not all the time, I am much better than I used to be but they still occur if she isn't there with me, But on the other hand if I am going to be of any use to Ana when she comes home I do need to go and get my rest. Reluctantly I lower my sleeping son into the crib at the side of the bed and kiss his forehead, I smile as he screws up his fists and sighs. I lean towards Ana, and kiss her chastely on her lips.

"Ok I'll go" I say. Before I go I pull out my phone and take another photograph of Teddy sleeping in his crib.

"How many more are you going take?" Ana says teasingly.

"Many many more" I say with a grin. I have taken lots, didn't think about bringing my camera with me I was in such a panic, but I always have my phone and it has a reasonable camera on it.

"Christian does Ray know?" Ana asks suddenly

I nod, "Yes I phoned him and your mom while you were sleeping" I frown at the memory of calling Carla, there was an indifference there which surprised me, I have never understood that woman, she wasn't there at Ana's graduation, which should have been a huge thing for her, I had to practically beg her to come for Anna's birthday, and it wasn't until I offered to send the jet did she finally capitulate, when Ana was recovering from Hyde's attack I offered to fly her over to see her daughter but she refused.

"What did my mom say?" Ana says quietly

I look carefully at her, "She offered her congratulations" I say, "She asked if you were ok, I told her it was a difficult birth but you were fine and that was it...why?" I ask as I sit down again.

"Nothing, I just wondered" she says and she puts her head down and looks at her hands, she always does this when she is worrying about something and I know there is something she isn't telling me.

"Ana tell me" I say as I place my hands over hers, she looks up at me and I am shocked to see tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to spoil this time for you, you are so happy I don't want my mother's negativity to spoil it" she says and bursts into tears.

"Hey, come on" I say gently and I climb on to the bed beside her and wrap my arms around her, "Tell me baby, I can't go home to sleep knowing this is bothering you" I say

"I'm sorry" she whispers

"No baby, tell me" I persist

She takes a huge sigh. "It started when I called her to tell her I was pregnant, first of all she asked how far gone I was – because she thought I was pregnant when we got married so quickly and I think she thought I had lied then when she asked me if I was pregnant and I'd said no, and after I told her she asked if I knew I was pregnant when I went after Jack, I said yes and she asked me ...she asked me if It was my way of trying to get rid of it", she closes her eyes and hesitates I don't say anything but I am getting angry, but I stay quiet and let her continue "she said that she thought, you had got me pregnant on purpose quickly, to ...to ...you know...keep a tighter rein on me, so I told her it was a contraceptive failure that had caused it and it was nobody's doing, she asked if you were pleased, I said you were getting used to the idea and it had come as a shock, she then said I was too young and what about my career, but then she said, she supposed that didn't matter as you owned the company I worked for, so I could do as I pleased, she sounded bitter and jealous, I know I ruined her life when she had me so early and then my dad died she was alone, but I'm not her I..."

"Stop" I say I can't listen to any more, "Ana it's not your fault the decisions your mother made, yes you are in a more fortunate situation than she ever was but that is not your fault either, and she should be pleased for you that you are not going to struggle like she did"

She nods, "There is more, I told you I didn't want to invite her for Christmas, but it was mom she didn't want to come, I rang her and asked her what she was doing and if she wanted to come and spend Christmas with us, as we had just moved into our home, but she said point blank she couldn't come, I said you'd send the jet for her if it was difficult but she said she didn't need charity from her rich son in law and she hung up on me, and we haven't spoken since" she stops.

I pull her close, I am livid but I hide it and hold Ana tightly to me, "It's ok baby, it's not your fault, give her some time, it must be overwhelming for her to have someone with my wealth in the family" I say, although I am thinking that if I had my way that woman would never set foot in Ana's life again.

"Thank you for taking this so well" she says quietly as she rests her head against my chest, I stroke her hair and place a kiss on the top of her head and I feel her relaxing. Once again I feel like a complete shit, she has kept this all to herself too afraid to tell me what had happened because she was scared of how I would react.

"Are you sure you want me to go?" I ask I really don't want to leave her now. She pushes away from me, and nods.

"Yes I'm going to sleep and you really need to rest too, if you are going to help me when I come home" she grins at me and I stand to leave.

Ryan stands as I leave the room, he looks tired, I look at my watch, its nearly midnight, too late to talk to the one person who could give me some insight into this, I decide to head for home. As I leave the hospital there are a handful of reporters still waiting for me, I don't answer any questions as I climb into the car.

oooOOOooo

I wake up and glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was nearly 9:30 I jump out of bed and shower quickly and head downstairs, I find Gail in the laundry room and she beams at me. "Good morning sir, what would you like for breakfast?" she asks.

"Erm my usual please" I say

"Very good sir, just give me a moment to get this sorted and I will get that for you" she says

I nod "No rush I'll be in my study" I say

I call Ros and get updates on the meeting I walked out on, and the other projects that are on going, everything is on track and I hang up confident Ros can handle things while I am off. I call my mom, and she asks how Ana is and the baby and almost as an afterthought she asks how I am, I smile my mom is the total opposite to Carla; she is overjoyed at being a grandmother. I download the photographs I took onto my laptop, and sit looking at them. I pick up my phone and call Carla.

"Hello" she says

"Carla, it's Christian, do you have an email address I can send some photographs of the baby to?" I ask

"No, I don't have a computer at the moment" she says quietly

"How about a mobile phone I can send them to?" I ask

"Yes" she replies, "I do" she gives me the number and I send three picture messages to her. Moments later I receive a text, GOT THEM THANK YOU. That's all.

I shake my head, what is it with that woman. I decide there is one person who can perhaps enlighten me, I call Ray.

"Hello" the quiet easy going voice reaches my ears and I smile, I like Ray.

"Ray, it's Christian, I was wondering if you would like me to come and pick you up to go and see your grandson today?" I wait praying he will say yes.

"Hello son, that's good of you, if it's not too much trouble I'd love to see Annie and the baby" he sounds eager and I smile, I guess he wants to see if Ana is alright with his own eyes, he was worried when I told him it had been a difficult birth.

"No trouble at all I say I will come and fetch you myself" I say, "Can you give me an hour, I have just got up I was at the hospital until after midnight with Ana?" I say

"No rush son, take your time" he says and I say I will see him later and hang up.

He lives closer now, Ana had insisted when he left the hospital that he move closer to us so she could keep an eye on him, he had protested until she told him he had the choice that either he do as she asked or she would arrange someone as sort of homecare for him, that didn't go down well at all and he agreed to move closer and keep his independence. He still isn't driving and walks with a stick, and it is debateable whether or not he will ever walk without a limp. I go and eat my breakfast and I remember that time when Ana called me to tell me Ray was in hospital. I had left my Blackberry with Andrea and gone for a walk to clear my head before the meeting with the Taiwanese guys...

"Mr Grey, Mr Grey" I turn and see Olivia rushing towards me, I frown.

"What?" I snap

"Andrea asked me to fetch you sir, she tracked you down and asked me to fetch you, your wife called, and she said it was urgent sir".

I immediately turn and run back upstairs to my office, I glance across to see Ros appearing, I hold my hand up and tell her to wait.

"Andrea" I snap

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey called she was very upset she was crying, she said could you call her and she said it was urgent"

I snatch my Blackberry up and call Ana; before I can speak I hear Ana's anguished voice.

"Christian" she gasps I can hear the tears in her voice

"Christ Ana what's wrong?" I demand, I am thinking all sorts of things and my hand is running through my hair.

"It's Ray – he's been in an accident" she sobs

"Shit" oh my god not Ray, it will kill her if anything happens to him.

"Yes I'm on my way to Portland" she says

What the fuck? Portland? "Portland? Please tell me Sawyer is with you?" I whisper

"Yes, he's driving" she tells me, I sigh with relief

"Where is Ray?" I ask, I am mentally going through my schedule, I can't blow off the guys from Taiwan, but everything else I have on can wait, I can fly down to Portland in Charlie Tango as soon as the meeting is over.

"At OHSU" she says

"Christian, your meeting" Ros says impatiently

"Yes Ros, I know!" I snap and glare at her, "sorry baby, I can be there in about three hours I have business I need to finish here – I'll fly down" I add in a softer tone to Ana.

There is silence, so I continue to talk, "I have a meeting with some guys over from Taiwan I can't blow them off, it's a deal we've been hammering out for months, I'll leave as soon as I can".

"Ok" she whispers, oh baby, she needs me and I just want to drop everything and go to her, I run my hand through my hair again,

"Oh baby" I moan

I hear Ana take a deep breath "I'll be ok Christian, take your time don't rush I don't want to worry about you too, fly safely"

Then it hits me. Shit she's scared because I will be flying and it's the first time since the accident.

"I will" I promise

"I love you" she whispers

I close my eyes, "I love you too baby, I'll be with you as soon as I can, keep Luke close"

"Yes I will" she says

I smile "I'll see you later" I say

I hear her voice quiver as she says goodbye. I ignore Ros and call my mother; I need to do this before I go into my meeting.

"Hello" she says

"Mom, its me listen I am about to go into a meeting but afterwards I am going to Portland to OHSU to be with Ana - Ray has been in an accident, can you call and find out for me who his doctor is and what's happening I want him to have the best mom"

"Oh my gosh, oh poor Ana, I will do what I can Christian"

"Thank you, I'm going to fly down in Charlie Tango as soon as I get this damned meeting over" I say

I hear my mother take a sharp breath, "Be careful" she says quietly with the same tone of voice that Ana had used.

"I will mom" I say. I realise my accident affected my wife and mother more than they ever let on."Listen I have to go now, I will be in this meeting for about an hour, I will call you again when I am out"

"Alright Christian, goodbye" my mother answers calmly

"Bye mom and thanks" I say, I hang up, I turn my attention to Andrea, "Andrea, clear my schedule for the rest of the day, family emergency. I will do this meeting then I will be out for the rest of the day and possibly for the next few days, but I will keep you updated on that, get me a flight plan for Portland OHSU, leaving here, in approx an hour" Andrea nods and gets to work, I call Taylor and inform him of the situation he goes to Andrea and they co-ordinate their tasks to get me out here as soon as possible.

I breeze into the meeting, "Good morning gentleman lets sort this thing". I am abrupt and want to get things sorted quickly so I can get to Ana, we hammer out the finer points and a deal is agreed, I stand and shake hands with them and ask Ros to finish things up for me. I leave looking at my watch, all done and dusted in 50 minutes beautiful, you were on fire Grey, now get to Portland and support your wife. As I am heading to the car I call my mother again.

"Mom did you find anything out?" I ask anxiously

"Hello darling, I tried, they won't tell me anything because I am not next of kin, I explained who I was and that you are Ray's son in law and you and asked me to call, but they said until they had spoken to next of kin they couldn't tell me anything about his condition...now reading between the lines that isn't good Christian, but I can tell you his doctors are Dr Crowe and Dr Schluder and you have no worries there, I know Dr Schluder from way back she is the best there is, we trained together at Yale...but that also means he is a very sick man, Lorraina's field is severe head injuries"

"I see" I say calmly, but I feel anything but. "Well at least he is getting the best care, is he in surgery or what?" I ask

"I really don't know darling, they wouldn't tell me, your best bet is get to Ana and find out for yourself... would you like me to come down to Portland?"

"Would you?" I ask relieved at her offer.

"Of course darling" she says without a second thought.

"Right, I'll send Charlie Tango up for you, Stephan should be waiting in Portland to fly her back to Seattle I'll tell him to fly you down here before he takes her back to Boeing field, I'll get Ryan to drive you over to Escala and you can pick up Charlie Tango from the helipad there" I say

"Alright darling whatever you think is best" she says

"Thanks mom" I say again and with that I hang up and call Ryan to liaise with Stephan to collect my mother and bring her to Portland. The flight to Portland is straightforward it feels good to be flying again, I feel a moments anxiety when I climb in as I remember the events the last time but as I am flying towards Portland I can't help but think she flies even better than she did before.

I hand her over to Stephan in Portland and quickly give him instructions to collect my mother then Taylor and I get into the waiting car and drive to the hospital. As I arrive at the emergency reception, the girl on the desk stares at me, yeah yeah no time for that shit, I'm in a hurry.

"Ray Steele, where is he?" I ask sharply

I am directed to the OR, I turn to Taylor, "Taylor I am going to up to OR I have no idea how long I am going to be, please contact the Heathman hotel and arrange my usual suite and if you could go and get some things for Ana and myself for overnight and a change or two of clothes for us". Taylor nods and disappears.

I make my way to the OR and am directed to a small waiting room, I stride in and see Ana with Jose Rodriguez she has his jacket on and she looks terrible, what the fuck is he doing here? I glance at the man with him; he looks vaguely familiar and pretty beat up, As soon as she lays eyes on me Ana leaps to her feet.

"Christian" she gasps and she flings herself at me, I wrap my arms around her tightly.

"Any news?" I ask

She shakes her head.

I turn to Jose; "Jose" I say, and nod at him he stands and introduces the old man to me.

"Christian this is my father Jose Senior"

I manoeuvre my arm to shake hands with the old man in the wheelchair, I remember now he was at our wedding, "Mr Rodriguez we met at the wedding, I take it you were in the accident too?"

He nods sadly and Jose briefly tells me the story of what happened, I frown, fucking drunk driver I will get my father on that, find out who the fuck it was.

"Are you both well enough to be here?" I ask. The old man looks to be in pain.

"We don't want to be anywhere else" he says quietly. I nod, he feels guilty about this but its not his fault, I turn my attention to Ana, I grasp her hand and sit her down, and I take the seat beside her, I quickly look at her, she looks pale and she feels cold.

"Have you eaten?" I ask

She shakes her head at me

For fucks sake Ana, "Are you hungry?" I ask

She shakes her head again

"But you're cold?" I ask as I look at Jose's jacket wrapped around her skinny shoulders.

She nods at me, I shift in my seat, I want to tell her to eat something then she wouldn't feel so damned cold but even I realise this wouldn't be a good idea at the moment, she is obviously in shock, I grip her hand tightly instead and bite my tongue.

The door opens and a doctor walks in he looks young and tired, Ana stands and I stand up with her and wrap my arm around her, she looks like she is going to pass out. "Ray Steele" she whispers to him.

"You're next of kin?" he asks

"I'm his daughter Ana" she answers with a nod

"Miss Steele..." he begins.

She is married you stupid fuck. I immediately correct him. "Mrs Grey" I say sharply.

The doctor looks apologetically at Ana yeah you'd better be sorry you are treating the father in law of Christian Grey.

"My apologies" he stammers.

Ana glances at me the look she gives me is deadly I turn my attention to the doctor.

"I'm Dr Crowe, your father is stable but in a critical condition".

I feel Ana's knees buckle and I grip her around the waist to stop her falling to the floor.

"He suffered severe internal injuries principally to his diaphragm but we have managed to repair them and we were able to save his spleen. Unfortunately he suffered a cardiac arrest during the operation because of blood loss, we managed to get his heart going again but this remains a concern. However our gravest concern is that he suffered severe contusions to the head and the MRI shows he has swelling to his brain. We've induced a coma to keep him quiet and still while we monitor the brain swelling".

Ana looks horrified.

The doctor sees the look on her face and continues, "Its standard procedure in these cases for now we just have to wait and see".

"And what's the prognosis?" I ask calmly

The doctor looks at me, "Mr Grey it is difficult to say at the moment, it's possible he could make a complete recovery" he shrugs "but that's in gods hands now".

"How long will you keep him in a coma?" Ana asks

"That depends on how his brain responds, usually 72 to 96 hours".

Ana's mouth drops open, "Can I see him?" she asks quietly

The doctor nods and smiles at her, "yes you should be able to see him in about half an hour, he's been taken to the ICU on the sixth floor"

"Thank you doctor" Ana whispers, the doctor nods and leaves.

She turns to me tears rolling down her cheeks, "Well he's alive" she says.

I tell her to sit down and gently guide her back to a seat. I notice Jose telling his father that they should go; I offer to give them a ride home, Sawyer who has been sitting quietly in the corner stands immediately and walks towards us.

I watch as Jose hugs Ana, and talks to her and she gives him back his jacket, I am struggling to keep my jealousy under control but I think I manage to do so, this isn't the time or place to have a hissy fit.

I am pulled from my memories as Gail removes my empty breakfast plate away from me.

"Anything else sir?" she asks

I quickly look at my watch, "No thank you Gail, I am going to see my wife and son now" I say with a smile, "and I am taking my father in law to see his grandson" I add as I stand up.

Taylor is in his office, I go in and he stands.

"Taylor I am driving to the hospital to see Ana, I will be taking Ray with me, I am going to drive as I want to talk to Ray privately and I don't think he will be too keen to talk if you are in the car, so if you could follow in the SUV, and then take him home when he is ready to leave, I'll be staying with Ana and my son"

Taylor nods and I quickly call Ray to say I am on my way.

As I pull up outside the small house Ray now lives in he comes out and limps carefully to the car, he raises his eyebrows as he looks at the R8 and I grin at him. He shakes his head and carefully climbs in, I stand beside him in case he needs assistance but I know Ray is a proud man and won't appreciate me helping him, I shut his door and make my way to the driving seat. Ray is examining the interior of the car.

"You bought my Annie one of these?" he asks looking at me. I nod and my smile grows wider at the mention of my wife.

"Are you out of your mind?" he says.

"I love her and so I indulge her" I say quietly as I pull out and drive towards the hospital.

"How is she really Christian?" Ray asks carefully, I glance at him, "keep your eyes on the road son" he says, I can't help but think of all the times I have said that to Ana. I sigh.

"I won't lie to you Ray, it was scary there for a moment, she was stubbornly refusing to have a C section despite being in labour for fifteen hours in the end the baby got into distress and the placenta started to detach and she lost a lot of blood..." I stop and shake my head, "I've never been so terrified in my life, it was my fault she was so stubborn, I have driven her mad all pregnancy with my over protectiveness and this was the one thing she had the final say on and she was hanging on to it and it nearly killed them both".

"She sure is stubborn" Ray says, "why are you so...controlling Christian?" he asks warily

I know he feels uncomfortable around me sometimes, and this is my chance to put a stop to that I sigh again "I had a very traumatic childhood, my birth mother was a drug addict and she died of an overdose when I was about 4ish I was trapped in our seedy apartment with her dead body for about 4-5 days, she was never much of a mother - I sort of looked after her instead of her looking after me I witnessed her pimp abuse her physically, he physically abused me too I have the scars on my body to prove it, and that whole time, left me mentally scarred I felt abandoned by her, and out of control I couldn't do anything to prevent anything that happened... then I was seduced as a teenager by an older woman – Ana says she sexually abused me using my fears against me, I am only now beginning to realise she is right... now that I am a father myself, anyway to cut a long story short, it left me with a lot of issues, I need control in my life I need to control things or I panic" I stop the silence in the car is stifling.

"Wow" Ray says eventually, "Yet you come across as this supremely confident man sometimes verging on arrogant" he says.

I shrug, "It's all a front" I whisper, "But don't tell anyone" I add with a grin, to try and lighten the atmosphere.

Ray laughs, "Your secret is safe with me son, I'm glad you confided in me, I feel I know you better now, I see what my Annie sees in you" he says.

I decide to ask him about Carla, "Ray can I ask you something?" I begin.

"Anything" he says calmly

"It's about Carla, I don't understand her?" I say

Ray snorts, "well that makes two of us son, that woman is a law unto herself, what's she done now?" he asks.

I tell him what Ana told me in the hospital and how she behaved when I called her to tell her about the baby, "I didn't tell Ana what she said, I just gave her the gist of it, but when I called her I told her Ana had had the baby, and she was quite sarcastic, she offered her congratulations but I felt she didn't really mean it, she just didn't seem interested, I told her it had been a difficult birth, and she didn't seem bothered, its her daughter for gods sake, doesn't the woman have any maternal instincts, I offered to fly her over to see the baby and she said she didn't have the time to drop everything and fly to the other side of the country, I just couldn't understand her attitude Ray, its her first grandchild" I stop.

Ray shakes his head, "If I tell you something, you have to promise me never ever to tell Annie any of it. It would destroy her, she loves her despite the fact Carla is a poor excuse for a mother, possibly not as bad as your birth mother but not far off" he stops and stares at me, I pull over into a car park and switch the engine off so I can give him my full attention.

"I give you my word Ray" I say

He nods and looks closely at me then he begins, "If Annie ever knew about this it would kill her, Carla is a selfish mare who has only thought about herself all her life, Ana's biological father was my best bud we were in the military together – in the same unit, along with Jose Rodriguez - Jose's dad, we were called the three amigos Jose was transferred to another unit and it was just me and Frank, we told each other everything, Carla worked as a waitress at the local bar, she had run away from home, dropped out of high school, she was trouble with a capital T, but she was pretty, you only have to look at Ana to see how her mother looked when she was younger, and she turned Franks head, can't blame the guy she threw herself at him, she knew what she was doing, she wanted security and to be looked after, I don't know the ins and outs of it to this day but her dad was an alcoholic he wasn't the best father in the world, so I suppose you have to have a bit of sympathy for her but Carla can put them away as well when she is in the mood, anyway it seemed inevitable but she fell pregnant with Annie, Frank was a good man and married her which was what she wanted, she had got the family and security she wanted, but then he died on a training exercise, pure fluke it was, I went with the officer to tell Carla she was still in the hospital, I went because she knew me. To cut a long story short she rejected Annie blamed her for his death, you've got to remember she had just had a baby the day before, she wasn't thinking straight, I felt sorry for the poor little scrap, and I went and I took care of her, I felt I owed it to my bud to look out for his baby girl. Of course that meant I had to take on Carla as well, she wanted nothing to do with Annie so I adopted her, she had my surname, and I brought her up as my own I did everything for her my mom helped out but she was getting on, Carla eventually came round and started caring for her in her own way, but she was never much of a mother, she always put herself first, when she left me and took Annie with her, I was gutted, Annie told me she didn't want to go but felt she had to go with her mother because she had to look after her, that was Annie all over she felt she had to take care of her, and of course Carla let her, thankfully she did the right thing eventually though and Annie came back to me, I don't want to talk about that time, with the guy she left me for, its up to Annie to tell you if she wants to, but it wasn't a good time, Carla came to her senses and left him and went to live in Vegas we sort of made up and she met Bob and now he takes care of her. I think she loves Annie in her own way, but I think she is also green with envy that Annie landed you, Carla likes material things see, Annie has her head screwed on right and she landed on her feet, something Carla never managed to do, and I'm sorry to say it but I believe she is jealous of her own daughter because Annie has made such a success of her life, that's why she never turned up to her graduation, she couldn't bear to see Annie settled and happy".

I frown, "thank you for telling me all that Ray, I won't say anything to Ana, just one thing, when I followed Ana to Georgia when she went to her mother after we first met, I saw for myself how Carla could put the drinks away I watched them in the bar at the hotel I was staying in before I made it known I was there, but that night she practically threw Ana at me, she knew nothing of me but she encouraged Ana to spend the night with me, I don't understand, I'm not complaining of course but why would she do that if she is jealous of Ana's relationship with me?"

Ray laughs mirthlessly, "Carla is a complicated woman, she could see you were wealthy and thought it was in her best interests to facilitate your relationship, after all if you got with Annie, it would get her off her hands for good, along with the security of knowing there was a wealthy man in the family she could turn to if needs be, I'm sorry to say it Christian but it was probably totally selfish motives, but when she saw Annie and you getting serious and how quickly things moved she panicked and didn't want Annie to end up like her with a kid in tow at a young age, but she can see how happy Annie is and how she has it all and how much you love her and she is jealous of her pure and simple she is jealous because Annie got what she never did, she is intelligent, has a good job, a loving husband and now a family, she is also jealous of Annie's relationship with me because she knows Annie means the world to me and vice versa and it sticks in her craw that she doesn't have that closeness with her and to rub salt into the wounds now there is your mom, she hates it how close they are, its her own fault but she doesn't see that, she keeps pulling away and Annie has found in your mom someone to lean on when she needs it and someone who is there for her, Carla just can't compete and what really screws her up is the fact despite all this Annie loves her dearly which makes her feel guilty for all her mistakes and then that makes her worse and she kicks out and the vicious cycle continues".

"Oh Ray, how do you cope with knowing all that?" I ask.

"I just bite my tongue and be there for my Annie, as far as I am concerned she is my daughter I brought that girl up she is my baby girl, I am polite to Carla when we have to share the same room and like at the wedding we put on a bit of a show of unity she knows how to put on a show and behave herself when she has to when there are other people around" he stops.

"Thank you Ray, thank you for enlightening me, I don't want Carla to hurt Ana what should I do?" I ask

"Nothing" he says "She won't bother you if you don't bother her, she won't make the effort to come and see you, if Annie wants to see her, indulge her, so you won't be seen as the bad guy for stopping her seeing her mom, but be prepared to be there to pick up the pieces when Carla screws up, like I have been"

I nod, I feel much better now I now the ins and outs of this, "Shall we go and see your new grandson now?" I say as I start the car up again and pull out of the car park.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

I watch Ana's expression as soon as Ray walks in to the room, it lights up her whole face. I hope to have that effect on my children in the future...children? shit what am I thinking?

"Daddy!" she says, and she looks down at my son in her arms, "Dad, meet your grandson, Theodore Raymond Grey meet your granddaddy"

Ray takes a deep breath in and gazes down he touches Teddy's head, "You two made a beautiful baby" he says quietly. He sits down beside Ana and looks at her carefully.

"Do you want to hold him Ray?" I ask, stepping forward.

He nods and I gently lift my son from Ana's arms and kiss him before I place him into Ray's arms, I turn and grab my camera which I remembered to bring with me, and I snap a few photo's of Ray and Ana with my son and some of Ray on his own holding him. Ray looks embarrassed so I control myself and don't go overboard.

"Annie, are you ok?" Ray asks seriously, I can see it has been bothering him.

She smiles at him, "I am daddy, I had to have a C section which I really didn't want but Teddy was getting distressed so I had to put my feelings aside and do what was best for him, after all isn't that any good mother does?" she gazes up at me and smiles, Ray's words from earlier about Carla pop into my mind and my own experiences with my birth mother, I swallow deeply, I know Ana is trying to tell me she is going to be a good mother, you don't need to tell me baby, I know you will. Ray glances at me I think he is thinking about what he said too.

"Of course it is and you will be a wonderful mother Annie, I am so proud of you" Ray says warmly. He looks down at Teddy, "and you gave this little guy my name too, you have no idea how proud that makes me feel" he says quietly.

Ray stays for about an hour but when he leaves he kisses Ana gently on the forehead, I look at the way she looks at him and he at her, their love is something special and I am determined never to come between them and to encourage their bond as much as I can, I tell Ray that Taylor will take him wherever he wants to go, and that I am staying with Ana, he nods understanding and shakes my hand, "Thank you for fetching me" he says.

"Any time Ray, anytime you need anything don't hesitate to call me" I say sincerely

He nods looking embarrassed, "I mean it Ray...or should I say dad!" I say trying to make him understand how much he means to me because of how much he means to my wife.

Ray looks startled when I say that and I grin at him to lighten the atmosphere, Ana giggles and eventually Ray's face breaks into a smile, he shakes his head at me, and pats my shoulder.

"Ok son, you've made your point" he says I nod and say good bye to him, I watch as he turns and looks at Ana before he leaves the room.

"Thank you" Ana says to me after he has gone.

I grin at her "you don't have to thank me baby" I say.

I spend a lovely morning with my wife and son, I can't believe how much I adore him so soon, we have some lunch together and then Dr Green comes in and checks Ana over and announces that she is fit to go home but to be careful and not lift anything or undertake any strenuous tasks. Ana nods and glances at me.

"But that doesn't mean I have to stay in bed and do nothing does it Dr Green?" she asks

"No not at all, I'd encourage a bit of activity but just don't overdo it" she says

Ana turns to me, "did you hear that Christian?" she asks raising her eyebrows at me.

"Loud and clear baby, loud and clear" I say.

We are given the all clear to go home, I call Taylor and get him to drive the R8 home I go to the SUV and fetch the car seat we bought and gently place my son into it. He is awake and cooing gently, I drive us home carefully, I am aware I have the two most precious people in my life and I am responsible for their wellbeing and safety. I ignore Ana when she tells me we can go a little bit faster, than what we are doing.

When we get home Gail comes rushing out and ambushes me taking the car seat from me and not giving me a second glance.

"Nice to see you too Gail" I remark flippantly

Gail blushes, "I'm so sorry sir" she stammers

I laugh, "its ok Gail I know my place, this little guy is far more interesting than I will ever be".

I help Ana inside, she is still sore from the C Section and she gingerly walks inside, I offer to carry her but she shakes her head. I get Ana settled and call my mom.

"Mom we are home now" I say

"Oh that is good news, listen Christian, your father is chomping at the bit he wants to come and see the baby, would that be ok?" she asks

"Sure" I say, "Only don't bring Mia you know what she is like she will try and turn it into a party and Ana is still tired" I say.

"I know, don't worry she is out with Ethan, she is planning on visiting though so she may turn up at some point, Elliot said he is planning visiting with Kate, but he said he will call you before he does".

"Ok mom" I say "see you soon".

I turn to Ana, "my dad wants to see him" I say as I sit beside her, "are you ok about that if you are tired I can put them off?" I ask looking carefully at her.

"No not at all" she says.

I text Elliot and Mia to let them know Ana is home but very tired and sore hoping that they take the hint to stay away for today. I call Andrea and speak to Ros about work, and I inform her that I am at home now and will be working from home on things which can't wait, but I expect her to handle most things for me which don't need my specific personal attention. I make it clear I expect to be kept informed of any decisions she makes and she quickly runs through everything so far.

About half an hour later my mom and dad turn up, I have never seen my dad looking so proud as he holds his grandson in his arms, "He is beautiful Christian" he says with a voice so filled with emotion I don't recognise it.

"Has Ray seen him yet?" my mom asks

I nod, "yes I took him to see them in the hospital this morning"

"What about Carla?" she asks

I pause, "I have sent some photographs of him to her phone, and spoken to her, she hasn't spoken to Ana yet but I have offered to fly her over to see them if she wants to" I pause again "she is thinking about it" I lie.

I see my mom frown I walk towards the kitchen "Do you want a drink mom?" I ask looking meaningfully at her and she follows me, once we are alone I tell her about my conversation with Carla, I tell her what Ana told me and I finally tell her what Ray told me. My mom's hand leaps to her throat and she gasps.

"Oh that poor girl" she says

"Mom, you can't let Ana know any of what Ray told me, it would kill her, she loves her mom" I say firmly

"Of course darling, but I just don't understand how women can behave like that" she shakes her head.

I touch her arm, "Ana has you" I say quietly and she smiles at me through her tears.

"Oh Christian, my darling son, I am so proud of you" she says and wraps her arms around me, I put my arms around her and hug her to me tightly, we have been hugging a lot since I finally let her in, making up for all those lost years.

Over the next few days we have numerous visitors Elliot and Kate visit they have put back the wedding because Ana was due to give birth around their original date, and Kate is adamant she wants Ana as her maid of honour. Mia and Ethan also come to visit; Mia was her usual over the top self and she made me smile with her boundless enthusiasm.

Nearly a week later Carla finally rang Ana, I was busy changing my son when I heard Ana's phone ringing, I listened carefully as she answered it.

"Hello" my wife's sweet voice came to my ears. "Mom, how are you?" I hear her say.

I lift my son into my arms and quietly make my way downstairs. I pause just outside the door and listen to the one sided conversation.

"That's good...I'm fine, tired but I'm good... did he?...he's been marvellous, he has taken time off work and is helping me...mom please don't be like that...ok mom it was good to talk to you too, bye mom" I stand in the doorway and shake my head, Ana sighs and throws her phone down, I make a point of noisily coming in.

"All clean again now" I say with a grin, as I lay my son down on a mat and put a baby gym over him with lots of dangling toys and things to stimulate and amuse him.

"Who was on the phone baby?" I ask casually

"Mom" she says shortly

"Oh, how is she?" I ask.

Ana turns to me and I see tears in her eyes, anger starts to rise in me immediately but I bite my tongue thinking of Ray's words, just be there to pick up the pieces.

"What's wrong baby?" I ask and sit down beside her wrapping my arms around her and pulling her to me.

"I don't know why she does it, she rang. She asked if I was ok, she told me you sent her some photos of Teddy, and she asked if you had been helping out and if you were at work, I told her you had been marvellous and you had taken some time off work to help me and she accused you of keeping control on everything and that you only took the time off to keep tabs on me, she said that the novelty would soon wear off and I would be pushed off onto security to be managed, and that was it".

I pull Ana closely to me, "do you want me to speak to her?" I ask carefully

I am met with silence, I look down at her, Ana is playing with her hands again, "I do, but please don't make things worse" she says.

I smile at her, and grab my phone, "I will talk to her here so you can hear me and you can stop me at any time" I say.

I watch as Ana rubs her face and smiles at me. I take a deep breath and call Carla, putting the call on speaker so Ana can hear everything.

"Carla" I say as she picks up

"Christian, phoning to tear me off a strip?" she says defensively. I see Ana rolling her eyes.

"Not at all Carla, I am a little concerned about your attitude towards me and I want to clear the air once and for all I don't like the way you keep upsetting Ana with your ill informed comments" I pause looking at Ana, she smiles encouragingly at me.

There is silence "I didn't mean anything by it" she says eventually.

"Of course not" I say, "it's just you seem to have a few misconceptions about me, I love my wife and because I love her I feel it is my duty as her husband to make sure no harm comes to her and as such I try to keep her safe. I am a target because of what I have built and achieved in my life and there are people out there who are envious of what I have built and who wish to try and take it away from me, so that being said it is inevitable she is unable to have as much freedom as your average woman, she is aware of that and accepts it as an unfortunate but inevitable aspect of being with me, and my son is not a novelty which will wear off, I love my wife and I love my son, they are the most important people in my life and I will spend my life protecting them, loving them and caring for them with every fibre of my being" I stop as Ana places her hand on my arm and squeezes.

"I'm sorry" comes the now regretful voice

"I accept your apology Carla, but please stop with the negative comments all it does is upset Ana" I say firmly. "I will say goodbye now" I add and kill the call before she can say anything else.

"Ok?" I say looking at Ana carefully. She nods and smiles at me, "Too much?" I ask.

"No, she needed to be told" Ana says firmly, I hold my wife closely and kiss her forehead.

"I have the faith in you to always do the right thing" she adds in a small voice, I swallow deeply and close my eyes thinking of that damned song again.

oooOOOooo

_One year later..._

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Teddy happy birthday to you" the rousing chorus of happy birthday rings around the room, Teddy sits on Ana's knee and I am poised with my camera as is Jose with his.

"Come on buddy blow out the candle" I coax, as Ana leans forward and gently blows, my son looks bewildered, he is only a year old and has no idea what's going on but as everyone claps and cheers he claps his little hands together and smiles widely.

I look around the room, I see my beautiful wife of course, she is the only person I ever really see when I am in a room full of people, my brother Elliot and Kate they have been married nearly a year now, and seem happy enough, my mom and dad smiling widely, Jose is here, I invited him I want him to take some professional pictures of Ana with Teddy and some of the three of us. I am still a little concerned about his feelings for my wife but he can capture Ana like nobody else can, and he knows he has no chance with her and seems to accepted that. Mia is here with Ethan they are getting serious now and I can see wedding bells soon for them, and Ray sitting with a huge smile on his face and a beer in his hand in his usual casual calm way. Carla is missing of course, she was invited but didn't take us up on it, she has kept her distance since I spoke to her shortly after Teddy was born, she came for Christmas and then wondered why Teddy cried every time she picked him up, "You are a stranger to him" Ana had said bluntly when she had complained, making it clear it was her fault and nobody else's. It hadn't made things easier when Teddy so obviously loves my mom, when he sees her he smiles and reaches towards her, which only made things worse for Carla, but she only has herself to blame for that. We have been to Georgia once to visit and Ana instigated that practically inviting us down. Bob is a good man and I really don't know how he puts up with Carla and her ways.

I bring my mind back to the here and now, and the party. I can't believe my son is one year old today, I think of how badly I behaved when I found out Ana was pregnant, and now I can't imagine my life without him. I miss them both when I am at work and Ana knows this and keeps me informed of any new firsts. She is back at work she has set up a first class day care centre at Grey Publishing and makes use of it herself, when she isn't working from home. I saw how popular it has been and realised it is something lacking at Grey House, so I have set up my own day care centre for my staff and it has paid off, I have retained valuable staff members who I would have otherwise lost when they wanted to start a family. I am seeing things from a whole new perspective now and I like it, my life feels whole and complete, and I can't believe I existed in such self imposed torment for so many years.

Ana and I have started discussing having another baby, I always knew she didn't want Teddy to be an only child, I was a little panicked by her suggestion at first, but now I have had time to think about it I am warming to the idea considerably. Ana has kept track of her shots better since Teddy was born, and we never leave it too long now in between them just in case.

I watch my wife laughing with my family I see my son playing happily on her knee and I look around at the scene. I am surrounded by friends and family, I love my life now, and I have Ana to thank for this happiness.

The next day I am at work and my phone rings, I see it's Ana and I smile as I answer.

"Hey baby" I say.

"Christian, I'm at home and something has happened" her worried voice comes down the line.

"What's wrong baby?" I ask panic streaking through me.

"It's Teddy, he has been sick and he is all limp and sleepy he has a temperature he's frightening me Christian, I don't know what to do, should I phone your mom?"

I leap to my feet, "Yes baby phone my mom and get her to come over to see him, I'm on my way" I run out of the office shouting at Andrea to clear my schedule and I call for Taylor who appears and joins me in my sprint down the corridor.

I arrive home to see my mom gently checking over Teddy and Ana is sitting beside her wringing her hands, as soon as she sees me she leaps to her feet and throws herself into my arms.

"It's ok baby I'm here" I whisper I look down at my son and he looks terrible my mom is frowning as she examines him. "What's wrong with him?" I ask fearful of what she is going to say.

She looks up and smiles at me, "he looks like he has an ear infection, it is very common for young children to get them, and it has made him feel a bit out of sorts that's all, we will get some anti biotic's and fluids into him and he will be right as rain".

"Does he need to go to hospital?" I ask.

My mom shakes her head, "No darling he will be much better here, just keep him cool and well hydrated and I'll get you some anti biotic medicine for him.

She touches my arm as she stands, "Don't worry darling he will be fine"

I nod and sit beside my son, and gently lift him into my arms, "hey buddy you scared me there, are you feeling poorly, daddy will take care of you" I say gently to him, Ana fetches a bottle full of juice and hands it to me, I offer it to my son and he takes it from me and drinks it noisily, I hold him close and watch him as he drinks. He stops suddenly and throws the bottle to the floor. "Da dee" he says suddenly looking up at me.

What? I stare at my son and then look up at Ana who is standing with her mouth open, "Did you hear that?" I whisper, Ana nods at me and tears stream down her cheeks.

He has been saying Dada for ages but this was different this was daddy and he looked at me he knows I'm his daddy.

I hug him tightly, "I'm here little buddy I'm here, Daddy is here to take care of you" I rock him gently and tears fill my eyes.

I don't leave my son's side for the rest of the day, and I hold him as he is sick again, we are doing everything my mom told us to and giving him the anti biotic's but he doesn't seem to be getting any better I can't stand it any longer when he is sick again and he is crying in pain, I call my mother and plead with her to come over and give him another check over in case she missed something.

She arrives and takes one look at Teddy and quickly strips him and checks his skin carefully, I watch her in silence, she shines a light in his eyes and he squeals and puts his arms over his eyes, my mother blanches and pulls out her phone and calls the hospital, I hear her mention the words suspected meningitis and I freak, Ana rushes to me and grasps me tightly she is also freaking out which is something which I have never seen before. My mother hangs up and gives us a list of instructions, Ana goes fetches Teddy's changing bag and fills it with all the baby paraphernalia and gets some changes of clothes, I am just standing staring and feeling numb, my mother gently lifts Teddy from the sofa and he moans.

"No" I say and snatch him from her, I hold him tightly to me and run to the car, I place him gently in the car seat, Taylor has arrived and is in the driving seat and ready to go, I feel like I am watching the proceedings as a third party, I am filled with fear and dread that my son, my beautiful son is going to die, kids can die from meningitis, I am panicking and climb into the car beside my son and gently hold his little hand.

"Hang on little buddy" I say gently.

I am running on automatic as we enter the paediatric ER, my mother has called one of her colleagues and he is waiting for us as we enter, I gently lie my son on the gurney and hold his hand talking to him my mother has her arm around Ana who is standing with her hand on my shoulder.

"Mr Grey you need to sign some consent forms we need to proceed with a lumber puncture to establish the presence of the meningitis bacteria in the brain, I am watching as my son is being examined his blood pressure, respiratory rate, pulse, and oxygen in the blood are all tested, I drag my gaze to the doctor who repeats the need for me to sign the consent forms I nod absently and sign where he is pointing.

"Mr Grey if you and your wife would mind waiting outside" the doctor says kindly

"No, I'm not leaving him" I snap

"Christian darling please, go outside and wait, I will be with him" my mother whispers and gently coaxes me to my feet.

I touch my sons head "Daddy will be just outside buddy, ok, I'm not leaving you I am just outside, you want me you shout me ok, grandma is going to stay but daddy is just outside" I am rambling and Ana gently leads me out. I wrap myself around Ana and we stand in silence waiting. I am beyond terrified. As we wait, I hear a voice, "Christian" I turn to look and see my father walking purposefully towards us.

I look at him and he stops and holds his arms open, I have never allowed my father to hug me and I hesitate but I am hurting so much I just throw myself at him and he holds me tightly, I freeze a little as he touches me but relax as I hear his voice telling me everything will be ok. He releases me gently and holds my arms, "Christian look at me, pull yourself together and be strong" he says, I nod and look at Ana she is shaking like a leaf and looks so pale, as I look at her I see her knees buckle, as one both my father and I grab her and lead her over to a seat, I sit with her as my father goes to get her a drink.

"I'm sorry" she whispers as she gratefully accepts the bottled water my father hands her.

Taylor sits a short way away, and is watching carefully, I turn to see my mother appear.

"Ok its all done, he's saying daddy" I run into the room and crouch beside my son.

"Da dee" he whispers tears in his eyes, the fear on his face is shredding me, I grip his hand

"I'm here buddy, daddy is here" I say over and over stroking his head.

"Ma ma" he whispers

"I'm here little man" I hear Ana's soft voice behind me and Teddy reacts to it looking towards it. He holds his arms to Ana and I see the pain on her face, she sits with him holds him tightly. He has an IV in his little arm.

We are all escorted to a private room and we sit with our son. My mother stands hovering at the door and my father has his arm around her.

"I am so sorry Christian" she whispers, "I thought it was an ear infection" she says

I shake my head, "Forget it mom" I say "he's here now".

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey" we turn and see the doctor smiling at us, "I have some good news, your son is suffering from viral meningitis rather than bacterial, which is a lot less serious, it will resolve itself in a few days, we will keep your son in over night for observation and if he makes the progress we hope that he will we can discharge him tomorrow".

I see Ana sink into a seat and sigh deeply, I also see my mother sag with relief, she was so worried that she had made a mistake, I settle myself down next to my son, if he is staying over night so am I, my mother realises I am not going to be moved and she leaves the room a while later she returns with an orderly, carrying a cot, which he sets up beside the bed.

"If you are staying please use this Christian" she says

Ana looks at me and then at Grace, "What about me, I'm staying too?" she says adamantly. I turn and look at her and smile.

"You can use it baby, I'll rest in the chair" I say

I hear my mother sigh and shake her head, there isn't room for two cots in the room and normally only one parent would be allowed to stay, but nobody is going to tell me or Ana that one of us has to go home.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

_One month later_

"Teddy, will you stop that!" I snap at my son, as he rams his cars into the wall, he is playing in my study and I am trying to work and he is distracting me, I stop and look at him, he freezes and stares at me. What the hell am I doing? My precious boy is only playing, a month ago I nearly lost him and here I am shouting at him now. Teddy made a full recovery from the viral meningitis and is now back to the mischievous lively little boy I love with all my heart. I sit and stare at him with this stupid grin on my face, when Ana appears in the doorway, I glance up and I feel the usual surge of love as our eyes meet.

"Come on, time for your bath its bedtime" she says to him as she lifts him up into her arms.

"Daddy" he squeals as he wriggles in her arms.

I stand and stride over taking him from her, "Do as you are told buddy" I say firmly, "Its time for your bath, and then its bedtime".

"Daddy" he says clinging to me tightly.

"Do you want me to bath you?" I ask him and he nods at me.

"Will you be a good boy?" I ask

He nods again and I smile, I can't refuse him, he is so clever and on the ball, he astounds me sometimes, when he starts talking properly there will be no stopping him. I carry him upstairs to the bath Ana has ready for him and I undress him and lower him in, there are numerous toys in water with him and as I crouch beside the bath and gently wash him and play with the toys with him, I can't help wondering if my own mother had ever done anything like this with me I can't ever remember her bathing me, I remember her washing my face at times, I quickly push the thoughts of those dark years out of my head as I concentrate on my son, he will never know the pain, physical and mental that I endured – no child should. My mind wanders to Ana, I have tried to ask her a few times about what happened with husband number 3 but she clams up and changes the subject it is obviously a very sore subject for her and I am not going to push her until she is ready to tell me about it, but I know in my gut something happened and it was something bad, at least he didn't rape her, my mind immediately goes back to when she told me she was a virgin that night I took her to Escala and my horrified reaction, I never in a million years expected her to say that.

"Penny for them?" I turn and see Ana standing in the doorway leaning against it with her arms folded.

"I was just thinking about you...so those thoughts are priceless" I say, I turn back to my son and lift him gently out of the water and into the waiting towel.

After I have put my son to bed and read him his story, I go to look for Ana. "Ana?" I call.

"In here" comes the reply, I follow the voice into our bedroom and stop dead when I see her; she is lying on the bed in a silky lacy night dress my dick immediately takes notice and twitches. She pats the bed, I don't need telling twice I kick my shoes off and climb on to the bed next to her.

"What are you up to Mrs Grey" I ask running my fingers down her cheek

"I went to see Dr Green last week about us trying for another baby, and so I didn't have my shot, at the time there still should have be about another week left on this one, which means now it should have run out so I was thinking that perhaps we could ...you know". She blushes at me.

A huge smile comes across my face, "I see, so lets get this right you are trying to seduce me into making a baby?"

"I wouldn't put it like that, but that is the general idea" she replies

"Baby you should know by now, I don't need seducing, I am sure thing, and I am as excited and eager as you are to make another baby with our love". Ana wraps her arms around my neck and I pull her to me. Slowly she starts to undress me and soon we are lost in each other.

_Five months later_

I am sitting in my office going through a contract when my phone rings.

"Grey" I snap

"Christian?" Ana's voice comes to me and I immediately relax

"Hi baby, I'm sorry I didn't look to see who it was before I picked up the call, what's wrong?" I say

"Christian could you meet me for lunch?" she asks warily

"Erm..." I mutter quickly going through my schedule in my head.

"It's ok if you are too busy" she says quickly, but she sounds disappointed.

"Of course I can baby, what time shall I come and pick you up?" I say.

"Could you come at 12:30 please and if you could set aside an hour and a half, can you manage that? She asks

"Sure baby, anything for you" I say I am intrigued "What's going on?" I ask

"You'll see" she says.

"Ok see you in a bit" I say and hang up I stand and go out to Andrea to update her on the changes to my schedule, my next appointment isn't until 2:15 so hopefully I should be back in the office by then. I call Taylor and inform him of our plans. I return to my office and quickly despatch all the contracts I was working on.

I stride into Grey Publishing at 12:25, as usual everyone flaps and flusters as soon as they see me. I stop to speak to Sawyer who is sitting in reception. As soon as he sees me he stands.

"Sir" he says with a nod.

"Sawyer do you have any idea what Mrs Grey is planning?" I ask him

"Yes Sir" he says but doesn't elaborate.

"What?" I demand

"I'm sorry sir I have been told not to say anything to you, she wants it to be a surprise" he says

I look at Taylor who is grinning, "Do you know what's happening?" I snap at him

"I do Sir, Mrs Grey spoke with me this morning to give me a heads up on what she was planning" he says smugly

I shake my head, "Honestly my security knows more than me" I mutter sulkily. I head towards Ana's office leaving Taylor and Sawyer grinning. I open the door and see her reading a manuscript she looks up and smiles at me.

"Hi" she says

"Hi" I say back and walk towards her and kiss her, "What are you up to Mrs Grey?" I ask her as I pull her towards me.

"You'll see" she says, she grabs her purse and jacket, "Ready?" she asks

"As I'll ever be" I reply and she walks past me out of the door I follow and she stops at Hannah's desk and tells her she will be back about 2pm. She tells her to brief Claire on reception when she wants to take her lunch break, Hannah nods and we head off.

I am intrigued as we climb into the SUV Sawyer is staying at Grey publishing as Taylor seems think he can handle whatever we are doing. As Ana climbs in beside me she grasps my hand tightly. I look at her closely she seems anxious but I don't say anything.

I am surprised when we reach the hospital, I look at Ana carefully, what is she doing, are we here to see my mother? She says nothing, but leads me in and to a small office. Waiting for us is Dr Green. Suddenly I am excited, she's pregnant I'm sure of it. I don't say a word I go in and Dr Green hands Ana a small pot, what the fuck is that for? She leaves the room and a few moments later she returns, Eww is that what I think it is? Ana hasn't said a word, but there is excitement in her eyes. She watches Dr Green pull a stick out of a wrapper and put it in the pot as she lifts it out it turns blue Ana squeezes my hand tightly and Dr Green raises her eyebrows.

"What does a blue stick mean?" I ask I can't stay quiet any longer.

"Mr Grey that means you are going to be a father again, congratulations" Dr Green says smiling at me.

I turn to Ana, she looks at me warily and shrugs, "I'm pregnant" she says I stand and pull her to her feet and into my arms, I am determined that I am going to make up for the last time she said those words to me, I kiss her passionately and place my hand on her stomach.

"How long have you suspected?" I ask her

"A while, but I wanted to wait to be sure" she says.

Dr Green stands and gestures to the door to another room, I follow Ana in and see an ultrasound machine, Dr Green is asking her questions and my mind is quickly remembering how she has been sick the past few mornings and how she has been avoiding alcohol in the evenings with our meals drinking only water. Dr Green tells Ana it will be an external ultrasound, I look at her questioningly.

"When I found out about Teddy, it was so early I had an internal scan" she explains. I nod, she went through that all alone and then I behaved like an adolescent and ruined what should have been a beautiful moment, the moment she told me she was carrying my child for the first time, this time I am going to make up for that I am going to treat her like a queen. I am sitting beside her, gripping her hand and watching the screen carefully, gently kissing her hand. Dr Green gently rubs the wand over Ana's stomach and I see it, a small distinctly human shape on the screen. I gasp when I see it.

"There" Dr Green says as she freezes the screen.

She does measurements and checks the placenta and everything seems to be in order, and she tells us she estimates Ana to be 12-13 weeks pregnant. I kiss Ana's hand as I watch Dr Green print out a picture of our baby. It's far too early yet to distinguish what the sex is but I am suddenly panicked by the thought it could be a little girl. Familiar doubts and self loathing flood me as I consider the possibility of being a father to a girl.

As the appointment ends and we leave, Ana looks at me anxiously, "You are pleased aren't you?" she asks in a small voice.

"Of course I am" I say and hold her to me, "Whatever gave you the idea I wasn't?" I ask

"It's just as when you saw the baby on the screen, you went very quiet and you've not said much since" She looks hard at me

I sigh deeply "Oh baby I'm so sorry" I say, "I was thinking, what if its a little girl, and I had a bit of a worry about being a father to a girl and how I will try and keep any boy away who comes near her" I grin trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Ana shakes her head and touches my cheek, "You have proved you are a brilliant father, look how good you are with Teddy, if it is a little girl you will be just as good, fair and totally brilliant as you are with Teddy, so stop doubting yourself ok?"

I smile and nod, she knows me better than I know myself.

"I have faith in you" she says, "more it seems, than you have in yourself at times" she adds.

I pull out my phone, "Andrea, clear my schedule for the rest of the day, I'll be back in the office tomorrow". I hang up and something suddenly occurs to me. "Where's Teddy?" I ask.

"He's with Grace" Ana replies, "we dropped him off there this morning I'm sure he is being spoilt".

I call Grey Publishing, "Hello Claire, is Hannah there, Christian Grey here?"

"Yes sir, I'll put you through" she says

"Mr Grey what can I do for you?" Hannah says as she comes on the line.

"Hannah, Mrs Grey will not be in the office for the rest of the day, she will be back in tomorrow morning, can you handle anything that comes in?"

"Yes sir" she says.

I smile and turn to Ana, "Do you want to add anything?" I ask her, she shakes her head. "Ok thanks Hannah" I say and hang up.

Ana stares at me, "What are you planning?" she says.

I fold her into my arms, "I am going to take my pregnant wife out to lunch, then we are going shopping and I am going to buy her something beautiful as a thank you for carrying my babies and then we are going to pick up our son and go home and spend time as a family" I touch her stomach, "just the four of us" I add with a grin.

She kisses me and I hold her to me and kiss her back passionately. As we arrive at the SUV Taylor looks at us and smiles.

"I am going to be a father again Taylor" I say with such a self satisfied tone I surprise myself.

"Congratulations Sir, Mrs Grey" he says.

"Taylor, contact Sawyer and tell him Mrs Grey isn't returning to work, and tell him to head back home and that he can take the afternoon off"

"Yes sir" Taylor replies and quickly calls Sawyer.

I take out my Blackberry and call my mother, "Mom, Ana's pregnant again" I blurt out as soon as she answers.

"Oh darling that's wonderful news, I have to confess Ana confided in me when she asked me to take Teddy today, I take it you have just been to see Dr Green?"

"Yes we have, I have a picture, Ana is about 12 weeks pregnant" I say I'm bursting with pride.

"That's wonderful darling I am so pleased for you both" she says, "Have you told your father?" she asks.

"Not yet" I say, "I am going to call him as soon as I finish here" I say.

"I'll let you go then" she says and I hang up and call my dad.

"Christian, this is a surprise, what can I do for you?" my father says in his calm tone.

"Dad, I just wanted to tell you, we have just come from the hospital, Ana is pregnant again - we are having another baby" I stop and there is a silence. "Dad?" I ask warily

"Christian that is wonderful news another grandchild, congratulation to you both, I don't know what to say" I can hear the emotion in his voice and it makes me smile.

"That's ok dad, I get it" I say quietly.

"Does your mother know?" he asks pulling himself together

"Yes, I called her before I called you" I say.

"What about Ana's mother and Ray?" he asks

"No not yet Ana is going to tell them" I say, I stop, "Listen we are just on our way to lunch, would you like to join us? I ask

"No son, it should just be you and Ana, thank you for the offer though" he says "I'll let you go" he adds.

"Thanks dad" I say "Bye"

"Bye son" he replies, I kill the call. Since that moment in the hospital when Teddy was ill I have been much closer to my father and I am regretting all the years I fought against him when all he wanted was for me to be as close to him as Elliot and Mia are. Now that I am a father myself I understand why he behaved like he did, he just wanted what he thought was best for me, because he loved me, that realisation makes me feel uncomfortable that I pushed him away and rebelled I couldn't see it was love as I had no idea what love truly was.

I turn my attention to my beautiful wife, we are sitting in the car and she takes out her Blackberry and sighs, I squeeze her knee encouragingly as she calls her mother.

I listen as she makes the call. "Mom how are you...that's good, listen I have some news for you...I'm pregnant again mom...yes...I'm fine...about 12 weeks we have just been to the hospital,...yes Christian is here with me now...we did, I have a scan picture would you like me to send you a picture of it?...I can do that...thanks mom, I love you too mom...bye"

She smiles and looks at me with a slightly stunned expression on her face. "That went surprisingly well" she says

"That's a good thing" I say, she nods and picks up her phone again to call Ray.

I listen again, "Dad, how are you?...I have some good news daddy...I'm pregnant again...yes really...Christian is with me now we have just been to the hospital...thank you daddy, that means a lot..." she giggles suddenly and then says "I'll tell him you said that...yes I will.., I love you daddy, bye".

Ana looks up at me "Ray says don't you have anything better to do than make babies" she must see my expression as she hastily grasps my hand and whispers "he was joking Christian, he's thrilled".

I take her to lunch and afterwards I take her to Cartier and buy her a beautiful necklace, she insists that she doesn't need another necklace and that it really doesn't matter but I ignore her protests I am going to make this time extra special.

"I don't need this Christian" she says looking at me carefully

I pull her to me and kiss her forehead, "I do baby, please let me do this, I need to make up for the last time you told me" I say quietly.

I see her expression soften and she touches my face, "It's ok really, you have nothing to make up for, you are a wonderful father " she stops and sighs, "but if it makes you happy" she adds in a resigned tone.

"It does" I say as I plant a small kiss on her lips.

I place the necklace around her neck and gently kiss her cheek as I pull her hair free. "There" I say with some satisfaction, Ana looks in a mirror on the desk and touches the pretty delicate necklace.

"It's lovely, thank you" she says.

As we are heading to my mothers to pick up Teddy I notice Ana keep touching the necklace, I know she loves it, its is so simple and yet so beautiful, a white gold chain, with a tiny diamond cluster pendant on it in the shape of what looks similar to a butterfly.

As we arrive and climb out of the car, my mother opens the door and a small copper haired tornado tears towards us, I grab him and swing him up into my arms, he giggles wildly and flings his arms around my neck.

"Daddy" he shrieks

My mother walks up to Ana and hugs her tightly, and Ana pulls the ultrasound picture from her purse and shows it to her. I see my mother press her hand to her mouth and gasp.

"It's really real" she says. She turns to me and wraps her arms around me. I pull her to me with my free arm.

"Thanks for looking after him Grace" Ana says.

"It was my pleasure, although I think I may need to go and have a lie down now" she says with a grin.

We head off home, Teddy falls asleep in the car and I grasp Ana's hand as we watch our son take a nap.

When we get home, I lift my son out of the car and carry him inside, Gail appears carrying a basket of washing, and looks at us.

"I am going to be father again" I announce proudly.

"That's wonderful news sir, congratulations" she says warmly.

"We have a photograph" I say my excitement rising as Ana pulls the ultrasound picture out and shows it to Gail.

We place Teddy in his bed and head to our room and lock the door. I undress carefully and slowly and then I pull Ana towards me and undress her I lead her into the shower and pull her under the water with me.

I wash her gently rubbing my hands all over her and we dry each other then we head to our room and spend a few glorious hours together.

_The next day..._

"Ana you are having a scheduled C section and that is final" I am beside myself, Ana is talking about wanting a natural birth again, and I just can't go through that again. I tried so hard to be reasonable, trying to tell her that I didn't want to go through what we did with Teddy, but she isn't listening, I can understand her desire to give birth to a baby naturally but it is much safer this way, and when she refuses to listen I lose it and act like a fucking Neanderthal.

I watch as Ana storms from the room, and then close my eyes and rub my forehead with my fingers, oh baby I am sorry, I didn't mean that the way it sounded, I run my hand through my hair and I go after her.

"Ana baby" I say but she doesn't listen she grabs her purse and storms out to work with Sawyer and Teddy. I turn and see Taylor standing shaking his head.

"What?" I snap

Taylor doesn't say a word but disappears into his office.

I go to work and as soon as I get there I call Dr Green.

"Mr Grey what can I do for you?" she asks

"I need you to persuade my wife to have a scheduled elective C section when the time comes to deliver the baby" I say.

There is a silence which lasts too long and I realise that she is going to refuse.

"Mr Grey, I'm sorry but I can't do that, it is Mrs Grey's choice as to how she chooses to deliver this baby".

"But after what happened last time" I begin

"That doesn't mean the same thing will happen again" she replies

"But surely a C section will be safer" I argue

"But it is Mrs Greys choice to make not yours and not mine" Dr Green states.

I sigh, I know she is right of course but I am terrified that something will go wrong again. "Thank you Dr Green" I say wearily and hang up. I call Ana I hate it when we argue.

"Hi" she says as she answers, there is an edge to her tone but she answered my call which is positive.

I decide to blurt everything out quickly before she decides to hang up on me, "Hi baby, I'm sorry, its your choice of course it is, its your body, but please just hear me out baby, I am terrified something will happen like last time, I can't go through that again, I really can't, I nearly lost you and we nearly lost Teddy, please baby just think about a C section, we will have a set date and we will know exactly when our baby will be born, we can plan and know exactly when it will end we will have control" I stop I realise this is the real issue here I want to control this. "Just think about it baby please" I say.

"Ok, I'll think about it" she says.

I sigh, "that's all I ask baby, and I'm sorry for what I said"

"I know, look Christian I don't want anything bad to happen but I really want to give birth naturally if I can I will weigh up the pro's and cons and make a decision" she stops

"Ok baby, that's all I ask, thank you, I love you" I say

"I love you too Christian, see you later" she says and with that she hangs up.

I spend the day wondering if Ana is thinking about what she is going to do, Mid afternoon there is a knock on my door.

"Come in" I call I look up expecting Andrea or Ros but am shocked to see Ana there with Teddy, he runs to me and clambers on my knee. "hey buddy have you come to see daddy work?" I say as I hand him my Blackberry to play with.

He stares at it and I pull my attention from him to my wife who looks at me and smiles.

"Ok Christian, we'll go for an elective C section" she says.

I stand and place Teddy on my chair and walk around my desk and take Ana in my arms

"Thank you baby" I say with such relief I almost feel dizzy. I hold her shoulders and pull her towards me and I kiss her gently against her bottom lip.

"I'm going to work from home and I thought I'd drop by and tell you, I know you must have been worrying about it" she says.

I am more than relieved, I turn towards Teddy and lift him gently from my chair "Do you want to go and see Ros while you are here?" I say to him.

He jumps up and down and squeals with delight, he loves Ros, Ana goes to talk to Andrea while I walk down the corridor holding my sons hand and head to Ros's office, she looks up as I walk in. Her face immediately breaks into a huge grin when she sees Teddy.

"Hello Teddy what are you doing here?" she says

"See Daddy" he says as he lets go of my hand and runs to Ros. She lifts him on to her lap and pulls a piece of paper in front of him and hands him a pencil he immediately starts to scribble on the paper.

"That's really good Teddy" she says as he runs the pencil over the paper.

"Look Daddy" he says holding it up

"That's brilliant buddy" I say

He wriggles off Ros's knee and heads to her drawer, she laughs and opens it and hands him some candy. I frown but she looks at me with a look which says lighten up one piece of candy won't hurt.

"What do you say teddy" I say

"Fank yoo" he says

"You are welcome Teddy" Ros says.

I quickly go over the meeting scheduled for the next morning with Ros and then take my son back to Ana. She is laughing with Andrea and Andrea is looking at the ultrasound picture. I walk up behind Ana and grasp her by the shoulders and kiss her cheek.

"Come on Teddy" she says and holds out her hand to him, he grasps it and they head towards the exit.

"Say bye bye to daddy" she says

He immediately turns and waves and says "bye bye"

My heart constricts when he does that and I swallow deeply and wave back "see you later buddy" I say.

I return to my office feeling more relaxed and secure now that Ana has agreed to have a c section.

When I get home I go to the library in search of Ana she isn't there and I look upstairs I hunt around and she is nowhere to be found, I head to the kitchen and see Gail.

"Where's Ana?" I ask

Gail looks at me and tells me to sit down, a cold feeling of dread runs through me.

"What's happened Gail talk to me?" I say my anxiety spiking

"She has gone to see Dr Green" Gail says, I am immediately panicking

"Why didn't she call me? What's happened? She's not ill is she?" I am on my feet with both hands in my hair.

"Calm down sir" Gail says kindly and grasps my arm "she felt some odd pains and she wanted to get it checked out, she didn't want to worry you" she says.

I am now beside myself, its my fault with my controlling actions upsetting her I have done something, I am ruining this time just as I ruined things last time. As I reach for my blackberry the door opens and Ana walks in she looks terrible.

I rush to her and take her in my arms, "Baby what's wrong?" I say

I lift her up and sit her on my lap.

She shakes her head, "I'm just not feeling too brilliant, I have had pains and I wanted to just get a bit of reassurance from Dr Green, I am fine though, everything is good nothing to worry about, I have just pulled something" she says

"How did you pull something?" I ask

"I moved suddenly" she says

I nod and cradle her in my arms, relief is coursing through me and bury my nose in her hair and sigh.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

I am pleased to see Ana is feeling much better the next day, I am still wondering what she did to pull something but I'm not going to push it. I have plans, its been ages since we spent any time together at Escala in our playroom, I know I have to be careful with her now she is pregnant again but I really would like to do something a bit... more.

I put the idea to Ana before we head off to work and the gleam in her eyes tells me everything I want to know.

"I'll have to arrange something for Teddy" she says "I don't really want to put on Grace again, she had him yesterday for us, all day, perhaps we could wait until the weekend, Elliot was suggesting taking Teddy with him somewhere he asked me the other week if it would be possible at some point" she pauses and looks at me. Elliot has approached me with the same idea he would like to take Ted to see the football I agreed in principal as long as he took security with him and this could work out well as I know he is planning on going and seeing the football at the weekend.

"I'll call him and see if he is up for it" I say, Ana walks up to me and kisses me I run my hand along her still flat stomach, I love her so much and I can't wait until she has proof of her pregnancy on show for everyone to see.

I head to work in a happy frame of mind. Mid morning my phone rings and I see it is Ana I pick up my phone with a huge grin on my face.

"Hi" I say down the phone

"Christian" she gasps she is crying, I go cold with fear,

"What's wrong baby?" I say I am on my feet and ready to head to her.

"I have had a letter it missed security and I read it ...its horrible Christian" she starts sobbing.

"Talk to me baby, what is it, who sent it?" I ask

"Jack" she says quietly

I close my eyes fury now flowing through me that bastard, even from prison he tries to torment us. We have been successful in intercepting his hateful letters up to now, they are always addressed to Ana making lewd comments and telling her that he will be coming out some day and he will have his revenge, they are much of the same each time he tells of how he is going to fuck her in front of me and then kill me while she watches. We pass these on to the authorities and hope that they prove enough to never make him eligible for parole.

"Give it to Sawyer, baby" I say calmly, I am wondering how it got past security, his letters are easy to spot coming from a prison they can be seen a mile away. "Do you want me to come over?" I ask.

"No, I'll be ok it just scared me that's all" she says quietly, I can tell by the tone of her voice she is embarrassed with herself for calling me.

"It's ok baby, you did the right thing" I say to her, I hear her sniff loudly, "Are you ok now?" I ask

"Yes, I'll let you get on" she says

"Ok baby" I say and after a couple more exchanges we hang up. I call Taylor in and explain what has happened. He looks grim, he too wonders how this has happened and he promises to look into it.

I am just finishing off ready for lunch when Taylor appears again, he has been in touch with Welch and apparently Hyde has been getting a visitor regularly for the last couple of months, none other than Elizabeth Morgan, she had got a deal and testified against Hyde to avoid prison, and now it seems she is back under his influence. He tells me that Welch has her under surveillance and he has accessed the CCTV cameras and it shows last night her posting a plain envelope through the letterbox of Grey publishing.

"But that doesn't answer how that letter got to Ana without going through security first" I snap

Taylor smiles apologetically and then shows me the next CCTV footage this time from inside the building, it clearly shows Ana arriving and seeing the letter and picking it up and taking it into her office. I groan and shake my head, she is always the first in the office and would see it and wouldn't think twice about taking it as it was obviously addressed to her. Moments later I see Sawyer walk in the regular post arrives and he intercepts it and quickly sorts Ana's mail and opens them, sorts them and leaves them on Hannah's desk, and puts the rest unopened in the appropriate pigeon holes. I see Hannah arrive quickly check the mail and take it through to Ana's office.

"I'll have a word with her" I say as I run my fingers over my brow, "I'll tell her if she finds anything like that again to give it to Sawyer to read first".

Taylor nods, "My guess sir is she won't have any problem with that, Sawyer says she was really shook up about it when she gave him the letter, he was very upset too, he has found some at times but this morning Mrs Grey got there before him, there had been a hold up on route and she insisted he drop her off before parking the car, he watched her enter the building and then went to park, he wasn't happy about it but what else could he do? Mrs Grey said she was expecting a call from a publishing house in Europe and she needed to be there to answer it".

I nod, I know exactly how persuasive my wife can be, I find it hard to say no to her. "Tell Sawyer not to worry" I say eventually. Taylor nods and leaves the room.

I am just sitting waiting for my lunch to be brought up when my phone rings again, it's Ana again.

"Hi baby" I say "Feeling better now?" I ask

"No, Christian" she sounds harsh and business like immediately she has my full attention, "you need to come over to Grey publishing immediately, I can't talk to you about this over the phone, but it's urgent, its nothing to do with Jack Hyde so don't worry about that, I'll make sure I don't open anything I find I'll give it to Luke first, but this is bad Christian, this has the potential to ruin you" she says urgently.

As she says these words an icy cold stab of fear runs through me. "I'm on my way" I say and I hang up, just as I leave the office I see one of the juniors appearing with my lunch, I look at the two subs and bottled water, "Give them to me, I have to go out" I snap the poor girl nods frantically as she hands me the food "Thank you" I say in a slightly softer tone, she smiles at me and rushes away, I turn to Andrea, "Andrea something has come up I have to leave the office I'm not sure what time I will be back just clear my schedule until tomorrow I don't have any more appointments, Ros can handle the teleconference at 4pm if I'm not back.

"Yes sir, although Ros is out at the moment Sir" Andrea says and I leave confident that my orders will be followed, I call Taylor who appears from his small office he frowns he knows this is unexpected. I fill him in on the way down to the car, Taylor immediately gets on the phone to Sawyer, he puts him on speaker so I can hear.

"Luke what's going on?"

"I have no idea T, Mrs Grey got a phone call put through to her from that big publishing house in Seattle, and when she finished she called me in and asked me for Welch's number and she looked I don't know different, determined and really motivated, just one more thing T she then called Sam from PR and Moses from crisis management at Grey House, and she also called Ros, all three are in her office now, she is just waiting for you and Mr Grey now".

Now I am really worried what the hell has happened? I lean forward, "Luke she hasn't said anything at all to you?" I ask

"No Sir, all she said was as soon as Welch, Sam, Moses and Ros arrived to send them straight up to her and she said as soon as you and T arrive to let her know"

"Well I am just arriving now" I say as we pull up, I jump out of the car.

"Very good sir" Sawyer says and then he is gone.

"I'll go and park Sir" Taylor says I nod and stride towards the reception area of Grey Publishing, as I go through the doors Ana is waiting for me she pulls me into a side interview room and shuts the door, as soon as we are inside she touches my cheek and I see tears in her eyes, she shakes her head and gestures to the seat.

"Sit down Christian" she says in a no nonsense manner.

I do as I am told, my mind is racing, this is Ana as I have never seen her before.

She grasps my hand, "Christian I got a call from Edwin at North West Publishing, he has had a girl come to him with a story she wants to publish"

"and?" I ask confused.

"The girl is Leila Williams and the story is about her time with you ...as her sub. I have always feared this day would come Christian and I have had a plan ready to go as soon as it did, please go with me on this one".

I feel like my bottom is falling out of my world, I grab at my hair, and look at Ana, she looks so strong and determined at this moment and I feel so lost, so I just nod my head bleakly.

"Ok baby" I say

She sighs, "Good, right, the next thing I need to say is that part of the plan is to out you as having been in the BDSM lifestyle, are you ok with that? I need you on board with this, and I need to know you are 100% happy before we proceed?"

"What about my parents?" I ask

"I have spoken to Grace already and I have agreed we will go and talk to her tonight and we will tell her together, but at the moment their reaction is the least of our problems, they love you Christian, this is damage limitation, Edwin said he sent her out with a flea in her ear and she then said she was going to go to the press instead, which tells me none of the publishing houses will touch her. I got a call from the Seattle Times so she wasn't bluffing, they want an interview with you I agreed to it and I have arranged a TV interview on North West tonight, they will be coming to interview us tomorrow" she stops and looks at me.

I stare at my wife, she has arranged all this in a matter of hours I am so proud of her right now.

"Ok we need to get in to the meeting now, we need to discuss the ramifications on the business and make sure the people we trust are on board with us, she stands and holds out her hand to me, I stand dazed and grasp it we head into Ana's office. All eyes turn to me and stare at me intently.

Ana ignores it and gestures to the seat beside her, "Christian I have drafted this press statement you need to read it and ok Sam to release it" she says pushing a piece of paper in front of me. I pick it up and begin to read. I wonder how long Ana has had it drafted.

_I would like to express my deep regret for what I am about to say, and the effect that it will have on my family, I always knew this day would happen when my lifestyle as a young man would be leaked to the press and become the focus of gossip._

_I would like to confirm that as a young man I did participate in the BDSM lifestyle, I always prided myself as being a good Dominant and the welfare of my submissive's was always my paramount concern everything I participated in was fully consensual and done in a sane and safe manner. I do not believe that activities I participated in my younger days should have any bearing on the man I am today._

_Now I am happily married with a son and with another child on the way. I cannot understand what Miss Williams hopes to achieve by coming forward at this time other than to try and hurt my family. I feel very hurt and betrayed by her actions after she came to me a couple of years ago after her partner died and I helped her through that very sad and upsetting time._

_I will be participating in a television interview with North West Tonight which will hopefully answer any questions which people may have about the lifestyle I previously chose to lead. _

"That is very good" I say when I have finished reading it.

Ana smiles and nods at me, she looks at me carefully and then tells me something which makes me gasp.

"With Welch's help I looked up 4 of your former subs – Maria, Jennifer and Genevieve they are all happily married and have families and they are prepared to stand up and say what a good man you were, I also spoke to Clarissa the one you helped put though medical school she was very forthcoming and said she would gladly make a statement and speak up for you, and the fact she is still in that lifestyle says a lot for her to do that"

I am speechless, I just sit mute as Ana has completely taken control.

"One more thing, Welch is going to leak the details of what Leila did to the press, I have drafted Kate to help with that one she can leak it through her fathers media company" I look questioningly at her, she sighs, "you know when she threw paint over my car and slashed the tyres and when she came up to me outside SIP and what she said, and how she broke in to my apartment and held me at gunpoint, that should discredit anything she has to say, then that leaves the door open for you to admit what she did and you will inevitably be asked if you called the cops and you can tell how you tried to help her and how you paid for her care and set her up with Art college and everything to make a new start, are you on board with that?" she asks again

I nod silently, I see her turn to Welch and he nods and leaves the room.

She then turns to Ros, Sam and Moses, "Ros, can we trust you to handle everything at Grey House for the next week or so, as there will inevitably be a shit storm of epic proportions when this all gets out" Ros grins and nods.

"No problem, and I just want to say, it shouldn't be anyone else's business what kind of sex life you had when you were younger, a lot of people participate in the BDSM lifestyle and its nobody's business".

Ana smiles at Ros, "Thanks Ros" she turns to me, "Christian do you want to add anything?" I shake my head, and then look at Ros.

"Thank you Ros, oh can you make sure you are back at Grey House by 4pm to handle the teleconference for me?" I say quickly remembering it, Ros nods and stands.

"I'm heading back to Grey House now" she says, as she gets to the door, she stops and turns "Never let her go Christian" she says nodding towards Ana.

I grasp Ana's hand, "I don't intend to" I say firmly.

Ana turns to Moses, "Do you think that this will be enough to stop this in its tracks?"

I look at the elderly African American who leans back and strokes his white beard, "I retire soon, if I were you Sir I'd hire your wife to take my place, she has completely done everything by the book and it should stop this in its tracks and take the sting out of it"

"Thank you Moses" Ana says quietly

"You are a very bright girl" Moses says with a smile.

Ana hands Sam the statement and nods at him "You know what to do" she says. Sam stands and leaves the office, followed by Moses. Taylor is standing in the corner, he looks at Ana and then me and quietly removes himself from the room.

"How long have you had this plan waiting?" I ask carefully

"I initially put it together when I was on maternity leave with Teddy, I knew that this day would come, and I tweaked it today with the relevant details this way you come out of it looking like the injured party".

Ana stands up "shall we go and talk to your parents now before all this breaks?" she holds out her hand to me, I sigh nod and take her hand and we fetch Teddy from the day care centre down the corridor and leave the building. I always knew this day would come when one of the subs would speak out and try and ruin me, I realise how much Ana loves me the way she has completely taken control of this, and knows exactly the right thing to do. I normally have this kind of iron control over events, but on the other hand I had felt as though the bottom had fallen out of my world, and it had shaken me to the core, Ana must have realised this would happen and why she had the plan ready to set in motion. The strangest thing about this whole situation is how ok I am with Ana having the control, it feels kind of nice to have someone fighting my corner for me. I realise with a jolt that I am prepared to relinquish my control to my wife and that I love and trust her so much to be able to do that, we are truly a partnership.

oooOOOooo

My mother is sitting looking at me with a horrified look on her face, my father who Ana called is sitting in his chair shaking his head. Elliot is sitting with his mouth open, Kate obviously isn't looking too concerned as she already knows and Mia is looking confused. I am sitting with my head down I am sure that this is it, they won't want anything more to do with me.

Ana holds my hand tightly and looks at my mom and dad, "Say something please" she says

"You are ok with all this?" my father blurts out staring at Ana.

She smiles calmly, but there is a bite in her voice "Yes Carrick I am, Christian was totally honest with me right from the start of our relationship, he was what he was because that is what that bitch Elena did to him, she was the one who introduced him to that lifestyle and because he was so messed up from his childhood experiences he latched on to it and thought it helped him, it has taken me years to make him realise she abused him rather than helped him, please don't turn your back on your son now when he needs you the most".

My father looks stunned and says nothing. I don't know whether or not that is a good or bad thing, his lawyer mind is obviously working overtime on this one.

My mom looks at me "Darling did she hit you, I have seen examples of this lifestyle what did she do to you?" she stammers, with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Mom, please don't make me tell you" I whisper

My mom stands suddenly and holds out her arms to me, "you are still my son, whatever you did in the past is in the past, I love you and I will stand by your side"

I stand and fall into my mothers arms and I start to cry I never expected this reaction, my mom still loves me despite everything I have done, it is one of the most comforting things I have ever been a part of. My dad stands and walks over to me. He touches my shoulder.

"I can't begin to understand any of this but you have my support as well, we will get through this together as a family" I turn and he hugs me tightly, slapping my back.

"Thank you this means everything to me that I haven't destroyed our relationship" I mutter

"Darling you have only just let us in to your world after all these years we are not about to turn our backs on you now" my mother says as she touches my cheek.

I realise Ana is not beside me I turn and see her on the phone, from the look on her face I know she is talking to Ray.

"I know daddy, honestly he has never done anything to me which I didn't want him to...yes daddy...he loves me daddy you know that, I just thought I would tell you before it all came out in the press, No daddy he doesn't practice that lifestyle any more I didn't want to do it so he gave it all up for me...no daddy he hasn't, of course you can daddy you are welcome any time you know that, Christian will answer anything you want to ask him, ok daddy see you later bye daddy". She hangs up.

"Ray wants to come and talk to you he doesn't understand this lifestyle and he has some questions I said you would answer them for him" she looks at me, and I nod firmly its the least I can do after the magnificent performance she gave this afternoon completely taking charge and getting things moving.

"Of course I will" I say.

"I need to talk to my mother" Ana says quietly

I sigh this isn't going to be pretty, I nod and Ana makes the call, she explains things as best she can to Carla who predictably bursts into tears.

"Mom, please there is no need to cry, its all in the past, he doesn't do it any more and we are surprised this girl has come out like she has done, after everything Christian did for her. He doesn't hit me mom, he loves me...ok mom bye" Ana shakes her head, "We may need to send someone down to Georgia to coach her she will be our weak link if the press start approaching other members of the family to dig"

Kate stands, "Welch called me to leak that stuff about Leila, she approached my father and he won't touch her because of the family ties" she grins "not all journalists are unscrupulous" she says.

Elliot looks at me "Dude, all those years we thought you were gay and you were doing that, wow" he sounds almost awe struck. I shake my head.

"I'm not proud of myself Elliot, I did what I did out of necessity, I couldn't bear anyone to touch me, but I had sexual urges like the next man" I stop

Elliot nods and walks over and pats my shoulder, "I understand" he says

Mia looks at me "she hurt you, Elena hurt you didn't she?" she spits out the words I stare at her, as she continues to talk, she is staring as though she is remembering back down the years. "I remember when I was little you were about 15/16 you had just stopped with the brawling and you were settling down, I saw you as I passed your bedroom one day your door was ajar I saw bleeding welts on your back, you were covered in bruises you were changing your shirt, she did that didn't she?" Mia stares straight at me.

I put my head down and nod.

"I thought you were brawling again, so I didn't say anything to mom, you were covered in them and bruises I didn't say anything because I thought I'd get you into trouble when all the while she was abusing you, I should have told mom" Mia starts to cry.

I crouch down in front of her and clasp her hand to my face, "Stop it Mia, its not your fault its mine" I say distraught at the reaction I am getting from my little sister.

"No Christian its Elena's fault" Ana says firmly.

We head home I am very quiet, I know this is going to hurt the people I love. After dinner Ray arrives the way he looks at me destroys me, I have always had such a good relationship with him, I ask him to sit down and I offer him a beer, which he politely declines.

Ana has left us alone to talk.

"Christian, have you ever done any of that stuff with Annie?"

I sigh, "I won't lie to you Ray, your daughter and I have a varied and enjoyable sex life, but everything Ana and I have done has been with her total consent, I never pressurised her or forced her to do anything she didn't want to do, in fact I gave up that lifestyle for her because she didn't like it".

"Have you ever tied her up"

"Yes, with her consent, but we have always been careful and I would never do anything to knowingly hurt her, Ray I can assure you my wife and I have equal pleasure and participation in our sex life"

Ray nods his head, I can see this is embarrassing for him.

"Ok, I trust that you are telling me the truth, Annie assured me you don't do any really kinky hard core stuff, I looked it up after Annie called me and some of the stuff I found made me want to be physically sick".

I nod. "Ray I have never been into the really hard core stuff, even when I was deeply into that lifestyle, there are lots of layers and you can pick and choose what works for you, I had a fear of being touched and that is what influenced my preferences, I was fifty shades of fucked up Ray, I have mentioned some of this before to you but it is relevant and I will explain it again now, I had endured a horrific childhood prior to being adopted, I was neglected and physically and mentally abused the only touch I knew was pain" I pause and open my shirt and show Ray the tiny cigarette marks on my chest, "My birth mothers pimp liked to use me as an ashtray I have these all over my chest and back. When I became a teenager with the usual urges normal teenage boys start to get I became very frustrated and angry and I used to get into fights to elevate that frustration and get some kind of human contact with people, then when I was 15 my mothers friend seduced me, she introduced me to the BDSM lifestyle and at the time I thought it had truly saved me, I held on to that belief until I met Ana and she made me realise that it had just been another form of abuse that I had suffered, your daughter saw through all the crap and found something in me she loved, she has been my saviour, she brought me out of the darkness and perpetual misery I was existing in, and I would never ever think about jeopardising that" I stop, I have never spoken so openly and candidly before, not even to Flynn but sitting here and talking like this with Ray has released something inside me and I feel liberated, I wait for Ray to speak, he looks shocked to the core.

"Ok I don't want to know any more thank you for being so honest with me all I want to know and need is your promise that you will never knowingly hurt my Annie" Ray stares at me and I look him straight in the eye.

"Ray you have my word that Ana's wellbeing and pleasure are at the forefront of my mind and I would never ever knowingly hurt her, I just couldn't do it".

Ray nods satisfied, he stays for a while and we talk some more when Ana joins us then a little later Ray decides to leave. I tell Ana that I have told him everything and she nods at me.

"I am so proud of you" she says and kisses my cheek.

The next day the shit storm has broken, Leila's interview with one of the local rags has sent the media into meltdown, but Ana's plan works like a charm. We get my statement released early, then Kate's father releases the leaked information about Leila, and the other former subs give their statements throughout the day saying I was a kind and generous Dom who looked after his subs exceedingly well and they consider it a gross invasion of my privacy to be outed the way I have especially as I don't participate in that lifestyle any more. So far the PR exercise seems to be swaying people in our favour, the general consensus is that Leila is a bitter gold digger who has bitten the hand that fed her.

We do the interview with the Seattle Times, and we basically stick to the line that it was a lifestyle I participated in when I was younger but no longer and that I have no idea why Leila should choose now to make it public.

I need to get my head sorted for the interview with North West Tonight. I sit on the sofa in our lounge Ana next to me gripping my hand tightly.

We go through the interview and the questions, I answer honestly giving details about what I did and didn't do, Ana thinks that I should come clean as why I practiced this lifestyle and talk about my childhood and fear of being touched, I'm not sure but Ana thinks its a good idea and so I decide to roll with it, I have faith in her.

I am nervous as the interview starts, especially as it is being broadcast live.

INTERVIEWER:  
>Good Evening, tonight we are honoured to be interviewing the legendary Christian Grey and his lovely wife Ana here at their home on the coast outside Seattle. Mr Grey has kindly agreed to this interview as details of his lifestyle when he was a young single man have come to light today.<p>

Mr Grey is it true you participated and practiced the BDSM lifestyle?

CHRISTIAN:  
>Yes it is, I would like to make it very clear that I gave up this lifestyle when I met my beautiful wife, she taught me that I didn't need it.<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>So you didn't participate in this lifestyle Ana?<p>

ANA:  
>No, I was very naive when I met Christian and I had no idea what this lifestyle was, but when he explained it to me I made it clear it wasn't for me, and he gave it up for me.<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>I see, can I ask you why you chose this particular lifestyle Christian?<p>

I hesitate and sigh I look at Ana and she grips my hand tightly, I can't do it, telling Ray is one thing but broadcasting it to the whole of Seattle and maybe the world is quite another, I look at Ana pleadingly and she doesn't hesitate as she jumps right in.

ANA:  
>If I may answer that, Christian finds it very difficult to talk about that part of his life. It is a matter of public record that Christian was adopted what people don't realise is his early years were abject torture, he was neglected and abused physically and mentally. He has the scars on his body to this day from that period of his life, he was adopted at 4 years old, and his experiences had left him with a fear of being touched, as all he had experienced to that point was abuse and pain. So when he became a young man with all the urges young men naturally have he found that this lifestyle afforded him the opportunity to participate in a sexual relationship with women whilst having the fear that they would touch him taken away.<p>

The interviewer sits with her mouth open and tears in her eyes. She quickly regains her composure.

INTERVIEWER:  
>Mrs Grey thank you for that honest insight, did Christian let you touch him when you started your relationship?<p>

ANA:  
>Not at first no, but we worked through his issues and fears carefully and got him to trust that my touch wouldn't be negative, It was a long road but I loved him and was prepared to do whatever it took.<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>Have you ever met any of the women Christian dated when he was part of the Domsub scene?

ANA:  
>Unfortunately I have, I was held at gunpoint by one of Christian's former subs who was suffering from a mental breakdown after the death of her partner. Christian did his best for her and got her the help she needed and helped her get back on her feet.<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>That would be Miss Williams the young lady who is at the centre of outing Christian as a participant of this lifestyle. What do you think her motives are Christian?<p>

CHRISTIAN:  
>I have no idea, I feel quite betrayed by her actions after all I did for her, when she approached us and started causing trouble it was first time I had seen her in about 5 years. She was clearly unstable she vandalised Ana's car and held her at gunpoint in her apartment, you have to remember Ana and I were not married at that point. I was totally within my rights to call the police and have her thrown in jail for her actions at the time but I saw she need help not punishment , and I helped her financially to get the treatment she needed and when she was well I offered her the opportunity to attend art school which was an ambition she had always had and I financed that for her.<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>It sounds like you were more than generous and fair with her. How have your family taken the news of your former lifestyle, or were they aware of it?<p>

CHRISTIAN:  
>They have been very supportive, my mother, father, brother and sister knew nothing of my lifestyle because I always believed it was nobody else's business other than mine, they love me unconditionally and accept what I did in the past has no baring on the man I am now, the husband, father... and father to be again. I reach over and touch Ana's stomach<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>Is that an exclusive, are you telling us your wife is pregnant again?<p>

CHRISTIAN:  
>Indeed I am, we found out a few days ago so its early days yet.<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>Well congratulations to you both on that wonderful news.<p>

CHRISTIAN & ANA:  
>Thank you.<p>

INTERVIEWER:  
>Thank you for your honest and enlightening interview, I would like to wish you both the best of luck with the pregnancy and thank you for participating in this interview.<p>

We wait and as soon as the director says we are clear I relax.

"What do you think?" I mutter to Ana as the TV crew start dismantling things around us.

"I think it went well, you came across as what you are, a good man who used that lifestyle as a tool to help you" Ana says firmly, then she turns and looks at me, "how are you dealing with all this, really?" she asks gently.

"I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, I always knew deep down that one day it could all come out but I ignored it, but what I fear most is you and our children being tarnished with my past, I couldn't stand that" I am standing close to my beloved wife and I touch her cheek with my fingers.

We are disturbed from our moment by the TV crew. "Ok thank you very much for the interview, I can tell you we had record viewing figures tonight, and a couple of the networks have been calling to run it, would that be ok with you?" I nod but don't say a word. Ana grips my hand tightly and I gain comfort from her touch.

As we watch the TV crew disappear a car pulls into our driveway, who the hell is this now? I stare at the car and my mouth drops open as John Flynn steps out. He smiles at me as he walks towards me.

"Christian, how are you? Ana called me yesterday and arranged for me to come by tonight and talk things through with you about the past few days, she thought it would be best after you had done the interview as I'm sure you need help processing everything that has happened".

I turn and stare at Ana who shrugs and kisses my cheek before disappearing and leaving me alone with John. I invite him in and we head to my study.

"Ana is a remarkable young woman, Christian" John says when we are alone, "She was almost intimidating yesterday when she called me to tell me what had happened, she was so focussed and prepared to fight for you all the way"

I nod, "I know, she organised everything, I went to her office and she had everything arranged, it was all in place and all I had to do was give my approval to set the ball rolling"

"How did that feel Christian, to have your control taken away like that, you are normally the one who organises everything?"

I stop and think, "I don't know, I think I was too shell shocked to process what was going on at the time and Ana realised that would be the case, all I was feeling was fear of the consequences of being outed and ironically the lack of control I had over that, but when Ana organised everything and told me what she had done, I felt better in a way, it felt nice, it felt that that maybe everything would be ok and my life wasn't going to go down the toilet because my wife was prepared to stand up and fight for it and do you know what John? She knew that it took that to get me that control back, by taking control of it herself, does that make sense to you?"

Flynn nods and smiles, "and how do you feel now that you have literally outed yourself and your past and your issues to the entire country?"

"I'm not sure to be honest, Ana said it was the right thing to do, to show the reasons why I participated in that lifestyle and even though I talked at length with Ana's dad last night I still couldn't bring myself to do it on camera, I'm still a very private person, now I feel naked".

"Why did you tell Ana's father everything?" Flynn asks his eyebrows had shot up when I told him that.

I sigh, "Because Ray had looked up BDSM on the internet and not liked what he found, he actually told me it had made him physically sick and he wanted reassurance that I wasn't a sadistic monster to his daughter, so I explained the different levels and how you could pick and chose what you did and that I was never into the really heavy stuff, I told him how I got into that lifestyle and why, I even showed him some of my scars, he asked for my assurance that I treated Ana right and I gave it to him and he left happy, I think"

"Did you tell him about the time Ana left you and why she left you?" Flynn asks

"No, I didn't, all I said was that everything I have done with Ana has been consensual and that she showed me a better way"

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Because he would have killed me" I say with a wry smile, "and I can't say I would blame him, but I am not the man now that I was and I didn't see the point in upsetting him and destroying the relationship I have with him over something I did which is now in the past".

"Did you tell him about your experiences with Elena?" Flynn asks carefully

I nod, "yes I did, not in detail but I told him that Ana made me realise she didn't help me but abused me".

Flynn smiles at me, "you are handling this very well Christian and it is a pleasure to see. I watched the interview tonight before I drove over, you were very controlled and yet relaxed and Ana was amazing the way she stepped in for you".

"She was" I say smiling at the memory. "I told Ray but I just couldn't do it again, it was different, I know Ray and respect him and I didn't want his view of me to change that is why I told him, but why should everyone else in the country know all about me?"

Flynn's eyebrows raise again, "So you are not happy with Ana discussing your past live on television?"

"She said it was for the best, to show me as a normal man and to gain the PR advantage against Leila" I say

"You didn't answer my question Christian, were you happy about Ana telling the world about your childhood?"

I sit very still and think, "I have always been a very private person John it worried me, but I know she did it because she thought that it was for the best, and for that I love her ...so yes I am happy she did it"

"But she didn't mention Elena" John states

"No, Ana wouldn't do that, she hates her, and she knows that would be a step too far for me to be outed as being sexually abused as a teenager as well, I have only just got used to that fact and admitted it to myself recently". I realise that this is probably the first time I have actually acknowledged that to John, I have always maintained to him that Elena helped me.

"You are a very lucky man Christian to have such a loving supportive wife, she is the best thing that ever happened to you"

I snort, "you don't need to tell me that John I know that, I have always known that, that is why I am petrified that she will leave me one day"

"Why would she do that?" Flynn asks

I stop and think, I realise I can't answer that, Ana knows everything about me, every last sordid little detail and has stood steadfast by my side. The realisation is dramatic I stare at John.

"She isn't going to leave me she loves me too much I am her soul mate and she is mine" I say

Flynn smiles, "Finally" he says.

I stand, "Excuse me John I need to see my wife" I say

"Of course Christian, actually I think my work here is done for tonight" He stands and I walk him to the door and see him out, Ana appears and I can't stop myself I move quickly towards her and grip her tightly in my arms.

"Christian what's wrong?" she asks concerned.

"Nothing baby, everything is perfect" I whisper. "Thank you for everything" I add as I stare into her beautiful eyes.

_Two months later_...

I am in the car with Ana and we going to the hospital for our appointment with Dr Green I am stroking Ana's tiny bump she is now 21 weeks pregnant and we will be finding out the sex of our baby today.

Everything has returned to normal, well as normal as my life gets, Ana's PR plan worked like a dream and Leila came out of the situation looking like the bad guy. I'm not sorry about that, Welch is keeping tabs on her in case she tries something else. He warned me that she is pretty unstable again. I have withdrawn all my financial support she is on her own now, the last we heard she had disappeared back to her family.

I have been asked to represent several charities for abused children since the revelations about my childhood, and I have willingly participated. That part of my story seems to have been of more interest to the public than my participation of the BDSM scene.

I had received a call from Elena shortly after the interviews offering her support, I told her I didn't need it and that I had all the support I needed from my wife, and I had hung up on her. I told Ana she had called and what I had done and she had just thanked me for telling her, but not said another word.

I am brought out of my thoughts as we arrive at the hospital, I grip Ana's hand as we enter Dr Green's office.

Ana goes through the usual tests and I watch carefully as Dr Green checks everything. "Everything is going according to plan, shall we go and see if we can discover what the baby's sex is now?"

Ana looks excited as we move into the second room, Ana climbs onto the bed and I sit beside her gripping her hand tightly, the now familiar fuzz appears on the screen and then I see the baby, I watch carefully waiting for the moment we find out.

"Baby Grey isn't co-operating, he or she doesn't want us to see" Dr Green says quietly.

I feel disappointed, I press a kiss on Ana's bump and as I do so the baby turns.

"Oh there we go" Dr Green exclaims and freezes the screen, I look helplessly I have no idea.

"It seems Baby Grey is a little girl" Dr Green says.

A girl, I have a daughter, I panic slightly, and just stare at the little figure on the screen, oh my god a little girl, how the hell can I be a father to a little girl, I have to protect her, she wont be safe when she grows up all those hormonal adolescent boys I know exactly what they will want from her, what if she caught up with some sick pervert ...like I was, someone who uses women as objects, I feel like I can't breathe, Ana grips my hand looking at me carefully and anxiously.

"Christian are you ok?" she asks quietly

I come to and see both Dr Green and Ana staring at me.

I smile, "I'm fine baby" I say, and kiss her hand. Ana looks at Dr Green a worried look on her face. Not another word is spoken, as we leave Ana pulls me to one side.

"You are pleased aren't you?" she asks

"What? of course I am baby" I say

"Its just your reaction when Dr Green said it was a little girl"

I pull Ana into my arms "Of course I am pleased, I just had a moment of over protective fatherness thinking how I am going to protect my little girl" I touch Ana's bump

Ana smiles at me, "You will be a wonderful father to her" she says.

As we climb into the car Ana turns to me, "I have a baby sitter for Teddy for tonight, Mia and Ethan want to take him to the fair, Ryan will accompany them" she says looking at me in that way which tells me exactly what she has planned.

"Are you telling me you would like a night in ..at Escala? I whisper

"How did you guess" she says inching closer to me.

We have tried to make it a regular thing every couple of weeks or so we find a baby sitter and head to Escala for some 'adult time' I grin as I think of that term, Ana had come out with it one day and it had just stuck.

I call my mother, father, Mia and Elliot and tell them we are expecting a girl, I get congratulations from my mom and dad an ear splitting squeal from Mia which sends Ana into a fit of giggles as I pull the phone away from my ear swearing loudly but it's Elliot's response that makes me think the most.

"A girl eh, poor kid she won't be able to breathe when she becomes a teenager with you trying to keep her away from the boys, makes you think though, everything we thought was appealing in women to try and get in their panties is going to drive us nuts with worry when our girls hit their teens because we know that is what the guys who are chasing them are thinking"

"Gee thanks Elliot for that comforting thought" I say sarcastically

He laughs loudly, "Come on bro we've got a few years yet before we need to even start worrying about that, your daughter isn't even here yet".

I hang up and listen to Ana talking to Ray. I smile as I see the expression on her face.

"Hi daddy, we have just come from Dr Green's office we are having a little girl...yes we are both thrilled, thank you daddy, yes he's here ok daddy" She holds out her phone to me, "Ray wants to talk to you" she says.

I take the phone from her, "Hello Ray" I say carefully,

"Christian, congratulations, listen now you are going to be a father to a little girl, perhaps you can understand a bit better the way I got on your case when all that stuff came out about you, I don't want to bring that all up again and believe me I have accepted it, I just wanted to say this to give you some idea of how I felt".

"Thank you Ray, I understand what you are saying" I say

"Good, because I also want to say, if your baby girl ends up with a man half as decent as my baby girl did, she won't go far wrong"

I swallow hard, "Thank you Ray that means a lot" I say my voice sounds husky as it is so full of emotion. I hand the phone back to Ana.

"Daddy are you still there?" she says, keeping her eyes fixed on me, she smiles, "yes daddy he's fine...Bye daddy" she hangs up and snuggles close to me, wrap my arm around her tightly pulling her even closer.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

"Mia will you calm down, my ears are still ringing from earlier when I spoke to you" I say irritably Ethan is grinning at me, he is holding Teddy's hand tightly.

"Don't worry Christian I won't let him out of my sight, and we have Ryan with us, nothing can go wrong" Ethan says calmly

I smile, so little does he realise, with my airhead sister anything could happen, I am not at all happy about tonight now I have had time to think about it but Ana is ok with it and so I try and put faith in her acceptance and trust of Mia and Ethan taking our son out. I pull Ryan to one side and tell him the same thing I have told him several times already tonight.

"Yes Sir" he says stoically not giving any clue to what he is thinking about my over protective attitude. I know I am going over the top and I do trust Mia I really do, but she just doesn't take the risks seriously, although she is better than she was since the kidnapping. I crouch down in front of Teddy.

"You have a really good time, but you do exactly what Aunt Mia and Uncle Ethan tell you, if they say no then that's it, no means no, ok buddy?" Teddy nods solemnly. "Behave yourself ok, I will find out, Ryan will tell me if you are not a good boy do you understand?" Teddy takes a shot look at Ryan and nods again. Ryan is the only one of the security team he is really afraid of, Ryan is such a solitary person and very intense he makes most people feel a little unnerved. I kiss his head as I stand up "Good boy" I say gently.

"Oh Christian lighten up" Mia says as she kisses my cheek and slaps my arm playfully, I grin at her, I know this is good for Teddy to go out with different people and see new things, but my overwhelming fear that some weirdo is out there to try and take him from me is never far away.

I watch as they all leave, as soon as they are gone we head off to Escala, Taylor accompanies us and Sawyer is left at home to man the security office.

I allow my mind to switch to other things so much that when we arrive I am feeling so uncomfortable, I adjust myself and Ana grins, she puts her hand brazenly on my pants between my legs and feels my erection. She smiles.

"This has so much potential" she whispers, that's it for me and I practically drag her to the playroom.

I lock the door and turn to Ana who is standing waiting for me, "How do you want me Mr Grey...sir?" she whispers seductively.

"On your knees ...naked" I whisper.

She walks towards me, "Are you going to help me remove my clothes?" she whispers in my ear.

Oh baby, my excitement rackets up a notch as I carefully unzip her dress and let it slide off her shoulders and to the floor, she turns to face me and undoes her bra and throws it on top her dress, I immediately take her breasts in my hands and gently kneed them pulling her nipples through my fingers I love how they feel, they feel bigger and fuller when she is pregnant because of course they are, my hand travels down her stomach to her bump. I freeze suddenly; Ana feels it and looks at me.

"What's wrong?" she whispers

I shake my head, "nothing I'm just being silly" I whisper

She looks at me carefully, "Christian talk to me" she says

"I can't get the feelings I am getting about having a daughter out of my head" I say, "I feel I am going out of my mind with worry already" I stop realising I am ruining our special time.

Ana leads me over to the bed and sits down beside me "Ok tell me your worries" she says gently.

I sigh, "I feel strange touching you and doing things with you knowing our daughter is in there, it sounds ridiculous I know, I am thinking about the strangest things like when she is a teenager and men want to do to her what I do to you...and what I will do to them, and how do you think that makes me feel ...about what I am." I grasp at my hair and close my eyes.

"Christian stop" Ana says firmly.

She pulls my hand and places it on her bump, I look at her.

"We wouldn't be having a baby if we hadn't had sex, right?" I nod wondering where she is taking this. "Ok, why do we have sex Christian?" she asks

"Because we love each other" I mutter

"Exactly, so we have sex because we love each other and our love created this baby, this baby who happens to be a little girl. I have 18 more weeks until our daughter meets us in person, I have her well being taken care of during that time ok, so there is no need for you to even start worrying yet, then we have about 16 years before we need to even think about worrying about what you are thinking, and when we do get to that point we will do what we always do and face it together and support each other and handle it the best way we can, and it has no bearing on what you are...what you are is a good, caring, loving husband who likes sex with his wife, and how does that sound to you? Because to me that sounds like the most normal thing in the world" she touches my cheek gently and presses a small kiss on my lips.

I look at her, god I love this woman so much she knows exactly what to say to make everything sound alright.

"Answer me Christian" she says

"Yes dear" I say with a grin

She beams back at me, "ok sir where were we?" I just sit there and stare at her. My mind has gone blank of all the things I wanted to do and I feel lost she seems to sense this and her face softens and she kneels down in front of me, and undoes my jeans and pulls them down along with my boxer shorts, I watch her carefully, I know what she is going to do, I lift my hips to allow my jeans to come off and then I stand in front of her. She grasps my cock in her hand and starts stroking it, I gasp as she wraps her lips around it and starts to suck, I close my eyes the pleasure running through me, oh Ana you make everything good and right.

She grasps my thighs with her hands and pulls me closer and I clasp her head as my hips start to move, I feel myself getting close.

"Stop" I whisper hoarsely, "I don't want to come in your mouth"

She stops and stays kneeling gazing up at me, the look in her eyes nearly floors me, I grasp her by the shoulders and lift her then I lay her gently on the bed, I quickly cuff her arms in place and then her ankles I look at her carefully, "Ok?" I whisper.

"Yes I'm fine" she says

I go and find a blindfold and rummage in the drawer for the nipple clamps I know she loves these, especially now her nipples are so sensitive with the pregnancy she told me how intense it made the experience. I return, I gently caress her breasts and then apply the nipple clamps she gasps, I lay on top of her taking my weight on my arms, and gently slide into her, I close my eyes, I'm home that is how I feel when I am inside Ana it feels so right I start to move, slowly at first.

"Alright?" I whisper anxiously, the last thing I want to do is hurt her.

"Yes I'm fine, faster please Christian" she moans. I smile and start to move faster I feel her tightening around me, I deliberately slow down to make it last. I know she is immobile because I restrained her and she is completely at my mercy.

"Christian, please" she begs

I twist the nipple clamp a little and she gasps, her hips coming up to meet mine as best as she can with her arms and legs restrained, even like this we have the perfect rhythm we always have, even that very first time, when she was a complete novice, and I took her virginity her body responded to mine like no other persons had ever done before and I responded to hers we were one and that's just how its always been, I start to move faster again gently tweaking her nipples and licking them as I feel her building I can feel myself getting close, I thrust harder and she groans with pleasure. The noise nearly sets me off.

"Come for me baby" I whisper and as if my words are magic she does and as she does so I release the nipple clamps I feel her shudder underneath me, I kiss her nipples and suck on them as I come strongly inside her.

"Oh baby that was good" I say as I pull off the blindfold. "But I'm not nearly done with you yet" I say as I lift myself off of her and undo her and pull her to her feet.

Just then there is a knock at the door.

"Yes" I shout impatiently

"Excuse me sir I'm sorry to disturb you but we have a situation, Ryan has just called".

Panic surges through me I pull on my jeans and Ana dresses equally quickly we are both out the door in seconds.

"What's happened?" I demand

"Miss Grey was approached by Elizabeth Morgan, at the fairground, Ryan intervened immediately and no harm was done, but both Miss Grey and Teddy are quite upset by the events. They are returning back to your home now"

We are soon speeding our way out of Seattle and back home; we are both silent and worried. When we get back I look around, and Sawyer meets us.

"They are not back yet sir" he says, just as he says this a car pulls up in the driveway.

I go out and Teddy is sobbing uncontrollably, he clings to me as I lift him out.

"Hey buddy what's wrong?" I ask trying to sound calm

"Bad yaydee" he says sobs wracking his body he turns towards Mia and points "Mia cry" he burrows his little head into my shoulder, "scared" he whispers and wraps his arms around my neck. My heart breaks I hold him tightly.

"It's ok buddy its all over now, the bad lady won't get you or Aunty Mia, daddy won't let her" I say I stroke his head and his sobs start to subside.

"Come on inside" I say to Mia and Ethan they nod and follow us into the house.

"I'm so sorry Christian, just seeing her again brought it all back, I panicked, Ryan removed her and the whole situation frightened Teddy I should have controlled myself better, as it wouldn't have scared him so much" Mia is contrite and very, very upset.

I wrap my free arm around her Ana comes over and gently lifts Teddy from me and I turn to console Mia "It's ok Mia what that bitch did to you was bound to leave an effect" I whisper in her ear as I comfort her.

"I'm so sorry Christian" Ethan says sadly, "I had to use the bathroom" he adds with a shrug.

I smile at him, "Not your fault" I say. I watch as Ana takes Teddy to bed talking to him and gently calming him as she goes to leave the room Teddy turns and looks at me.

"Story" he demands and I smile I walk over and he reaches for me, I lift him into my arms.

"I'll take him, stay with Mia and Ethan" I whisper to Ana, she nods and turns as I take Teddy to bed.

Mia and Ethan have left, Teddy is in bed and I call Ryan into my study. He comes in and closes the door a resigned look on his face.

"Ok tell me everything" I say wearily, seeing my son and sister so distraught has upset me a great deal, but there is no point in chewing out Ryan from Ethan told me he did his job perfectly.

"Well sir, we arrived at the fair, I was a little concerned by the crowds so I had a quiet word with Mr Kavanagh and we agreed that I would be on closer protection than first agreed, and we agreed a protocol should anything happen. Mr Kavanagh was prepared to follow whatever I told him to do, but Miss Grey got a little...angry about things to begin with but Mr Kavanagh ...made her see sense"

"Really?" I say.

"Yes sir, his exact words were, if you don't let Ryan do his job properly I will take Teddy back home now and tell Christian you obstructed security, and you can explain to Teddy how it is your fault he has missed out"

I smile, Ethan obviously gets it, and I detect a hint of a smile on Ryan's face which disappears as soon as I look at him. He continues.

"Well everything was going well, they all participated in the usual fairground games and rides, Mr Kavanagh and I took Teddy on all the rides he wanted to go on, we felt it was safer that way as there wasn't room for everyone. I spotted the perp about half way through the evening, she spotted Miss Grey and recognised her, she saw me and then Teddy and I think she put two and two together. I watched her move away, I decided not to mention the sighting to Miss Grey as I realised it would cause her obvious distress, but I reported it to Mr Kavanagh, he asked me what I thought we should do, and that he would go along with what I advised, and at that point I didn't believe there was any immediate danger, I reported the incident to Taylor, he told me to stay alert and pull everyone out at the first hint of danger but agreed there was no cause for alarm at that point. Mr Kavanagh had to use the bathroom and left us briefly and at that point while we were all waiting Miss Morgan blindsided me and accosted Miss Grey, she spoke to her and Miss Grey became hysterical which alarmed Teddy a great deal, I intercepted the perp and contacted Taylor he told me to remove everyone ASAP, at which point Mr Kavanagh returned and immediately took Teddy and Miss Grey to the car while I spoke to T about what to do with Miss Morgan, as we that is Mr Kavanagh and I had previously arranged would be the procedure should the situation occur. Unfortunately as she hadn't actually done anything apart from speak to Miss Grey, T felt all we could do was let her go, I contacted Welch and he has stepped up the surveillance on her. I returned to the car and Mr Kavanagh had done everything I had told him to do by the book he had Miss Grey and Teddy in the car with all the doors locked and he was ready to drive the car away should he need to. Miss Grey was hysterical and it was severely affecting Teddy who was asking for you sir, Mr Kavanagh told him he would take him to you and at that point we left, I informed T we were leaving and he said he would inform you of the incident, I wish to apologise sir for my lapse of judgement when I deemed the situation not to be as serious as it was and I accept the consequences of my actions" he stops and I stare at his impassive face, he is expecting me to fire him.

"Relax Ryan I'm not going to fire you, you are a first class security officer and you did everything by the book you were short handed by the situation, if there had been two CPO's things probably wouldn't have worked out the way it did plus it was Mia who made things worse, which is hardly surprising considering what she went through"

"Thank you sir, I appreciate that" Ryan says

"You may go now" I say, Ryan turns to leave, "Hang on a moment, you say Welch told you he has stepped up surveillance on her?" I ask neutrally.

"Yes Sir" Ryan replies

"Thank you Ryan that is all" I say, it seems the person I should vent my anger at is Welch; he should have prevented the whole situation tonight. I call Taylor in.

"Sir" he says as he enters my office.

"Tell me Taylor, what do you know of the surveillance on Miss Morgan to this point, which Welch had in place?"

Taylor looks at me surprised by my question, "Erm I believe she was placed as an amber risk priority perp which means it had been noticed she was making advances to the family but no direct contact had been made, which is in line with her actions to date, until tonight sir"

"Right and what does Welch do to keep myself and my family safe from an Amber risk perp?"

"Erm, he keeps her home under surveillance, and notes her movements via city CCTV and an undercover security officer when deemed necessary".

"I see" I say, "thank you Taylor that's all".

I sit and think for a moment, and then call Welch, the picture of my terrified son won't leave my head, and his agonised words and the picture of my traumatised sister seeing the woman who kidnapped her makes my anger bubble up.

Welch answers and before he has a chance to say anything I lay into him. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT WELCH, ELIZABETH MORGAN MANAGED TO APPROACH MY SISTER, THE PERSON WHO SHE KIDNAPPED FOR THAT FUCKER HYDE NOT SO LONG AGO AND TERRIFIED HER, NOT ONLY THAT MY SON WAS WITH HER AT THE TIME AND HE HAS BEEN LEFT TRAUMATISED BY THE EXPERIENCE, IF IT HADN'T HAVE BEEN FOR RYAN AND ETHAN KAVANAGH ANYTHING COULD HAVE HAPPENED AND IF IT HAD YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE!" I stop I am panting I am so worked up.

I see my study door open and Ana stands there she has changed into a camisole top and sweats I note she isn't wearing a bra, she motions to me to keep it down, I close my eyes and nod at her, she comes in and closes the door, she walks up to me and strokes my arm gently, I know what she is doing she is trying to calm me. I sit down and she climbs on to my knee and curls up into a ball silent and still. It has the desired effect and I start to calm down. I wrap my free arm around her.

"I am waiting Welch" I say coldly but in a much calmer tone as the silence stretches out on the line between us.

"I'm sorry sir, I don't know what to say, Miss Morgan has been under surveillance since her appearance at Grey Publishing and she was placed as amber risk – she should have had an undercover security monitor on her I will definitely look into the matter straight away sir, please accept my apology's and I assure you she has since been upgraded to red status"

"Make sure you do" I say coldly and hang up; I bury my nose into Ana's hair and inhale deeply. I feel myself calming, just having Ana with me improves my mood and my state of mind, nobody has the effect on me she has. She moves slightly on my knee, I feel her breast against my chest and my cock starts to twitch, which reminds me that we were disturbed earlier.

I lift her head up and kiss her, it starts gently, but as the passion starts to rise in me I get more insistent and I lift her on to my desk, I tug at her top and she obligingly lifts her arms as I peel it over her head, I gently lay her down on my desk and pull off her sweats, I pull her to the edge of the desk and in a couple of swift movements I divest myself of my jeans and t shirt. I see her staring at my cock which is now hard and throbbing, I smile at her, "Do you like what you see?" I ask her as I run my hand up and down my cock, she bites her lip I almost come when she does that the effect it has on me is unreal.

"I always like what I see" she says quietly, I bend down and start kissing her thighs as my mouth moves closer to her she groans.

"I want you Christian...now" she says insistently

"Which part?" I ask teasingly

She reaches down and runs her hand over the crown of my cock, I shiver at the touch.

"This part, always this part" she says

I pull her closer and gently feed my cock into her, she moans again "We aim to please" I say as I thrust into her. She gasps and I still.

"Ok?" I ask

"Yes" she replies she hooks her legs around me, I am still standing and she urges me closer, I gently pull her up, I am inside her and as I lift her into my arms I move backwards turn and sit on my desk, she is on my lap with me buried deep inside her, I groan as she moves slightly and wraps her legs around my waist.

"Oh Christian its so deep" she mutters and she starts to move, the rhythm is slow and sensuous almost lazy, its driving me crazy with desire for her, I grasp her breast and suck on her nipples in the same almost insolent manner, we continue like this enjoying each other gently and slowly moving in time with each other, it feels so right, so necessary, after a while I feel her tightening and shuddering I know she is close, so am I, as soon as I feel her pleasure mine just wants to erupt we are so finely tuned to each other.

"Give it to me baby, come for me" I whisper and obediently she does so with a call of my name. I find my release and I hold her tightly to me as I come inside her, "Oh Ana what you do to me" I gasp. I had planned to do all sorts of kinky fuckery with her tonight at Escala but in the end my night was made perfect with this pure beautiful simple love making.

The next morning I awaken with a grin on my face, after our love making in my office we had retired to bed but sleep was the last thing on either of our minds. I turn and see Ana is still sleeping soundly; I gently brush her hair away from her face she stirs as I do this, and looks at me with sleepy eyes.

"Hi" I whisper

"Hi yourself" she murmurs and then yawns, she rolls over on to her back and smiles.

"What?" I ask looking at her.

"Nothing...just thinking about last night that's all" she says

I smile back, "How about a re-run?" I whisper as I edge closer and run my hand down her body.

She shakes her head, "No, Teddy will be awake shortly; if he walks in on us having sex I'd never forgive myself"

I nod she has a point, we are going to have to set some ground rules as he gets older, like never enter our room without knocking first, he is too young at the moment to understand this so we have to be careful of what we do. Just as I am thinking this the door opens and he rushes in.

"Daddy, mommy" he squeals and clambers up on to the bed, he throws himself on top of me, thankfully I have the sheet and duvet around my waist to protect my modesty. He sits on my stomach and squeals loudly as I tickle him.

He pushes against my chest, and he throws himself down on me, he stops suddenly and stares at my chest, this is new he has never done this before. Ana turns and looks at him I look to see what his gaze has fixed on, he is staring at the small tiny scars on my chest, It dawns on me he has never seen me without a t shirt or shirt on, before and I panic suddenly wondering where this is heading. He touches one of the scars with his small finger and I swallow deeply as I feel tears welling in my eyes, I try to fight it. He looks at Ana questioningly.

"Owie?" he asks her

She nods her head, "yes baby boy, daddy's owie" she whispers. She touches my arm and rubs it gently.

He looks at the tiny round scar and then at all the others he touches each one gently, "Daddy owie" he says to me, he looks at me concern in his eyes, I nod my head, I daren't say anything as I know I will crumble if I do, I am barely holding on to my self control as it is. I refuse to cry in front of my son.

He gently lowers his head and places a kiss on each one in turn, I inhale deeply at the soft slightly wet touch of his lips on me and I freeze, "Kiss better" he says seriously. I look at Ana desperately she has tears in her eyes but she quickly moves and takes charge.

"Come on baby boy, let's get you dressed, and get some breakfast"

"Pancakes!" he squeals and holds up his arms to her.

"If you ask Mrs Taylor nicely I'm sure she will make you some pancakes" Ana says  
>I watch them leave and then I roll over bury my head in my pillow as my tears start to flow.<p>

After breakfast, Ana disappears to work with Teddy and Sawyer, I call Taylor into my office, I need to speak to him about the staff levels after last night. I have just about recovered my equilibrium after first thing this morning. It took me a while to pull myself together, seeing my young son lovingly kiss the remnants of my childhood shredded me completely. The love and concern on his little face was something I never expected. It is a simple fact that my young son loves and cares about me as much as I do him, that simple realisation has floored me but also helped erase some of the pain of that period of my life. I bring my mind back to the task in hand.

"Taylor I need to speak to you about last night, I have spoken to Ryan and while he did a first class job of protecting my sister and son, he had his hands tied by the fact he was alone, and if it wasn't for Ethan Kavanagh stepping in he would have been in an impossible situation, so in your opinion do you think we need some more CPO's.

"Yes Sir" Taylor replies without question.

"Right I trust your judgement, deal with it" I say firmly, "Do what you have to do, lets get to work". Taylor nods as I stand and we leave for Grey House.

Mid morning there is a knock on the door of my office, "Come in" I shout and look up to see Taylor enter with papers in his hand.

"Yes?" I say sharply, I am busy trying to put together a workable deal for a company I am in the middle of taking over.

"Sorry to disturb you sir I wanted to run past the details of the new CPO with you"

"Very well" I say as I give him my attention.

He pauses, "Actually sir you know her, Karen Prescott, she was assigned to Mrs Grey for a while"

"NO FUCKING WAY" I shout "I fired her ass for allowing Leila to reach my wife"

Taylor raises his voice significantly but remains calm, as he looks directly at me "With respect sir, Miss Prescott _was_ on a bathroom break at the time, and the receptionist at Grey Publishing didn't follow protocol by making Miss Williams wait, Miss Prescott made sure Mrs Grey took all possible safety precautions with regard to seeing Miss Williams when she insisted she wanted to meet with her and Miss Prescott was with Mrs Grey for the duration of the visit – that is until we arrived and you fired her". He stops and stares me down.

I stop and think and as I remain silent he continues to speak, "if you will recall sir, Mrs Grey explained to you that it was entirely her decision to meet with Miss Williams despite Miss Prescott's reservations and Mrs Grey was very upset when you insisted on releasing her, she felt it was her fault Miss Prescott had been released. Also, it would be easier hiring her, someone who knows the ins and outs of the procedures we have in place rather than taking on someone new from scratch and having to spend time training them up". He stops.

"Fine" I say eventually, "One foot out of line and she is gone, and you will be too for putting your neck on the line for her" I stop and glare at Taylor who just nods and removes himself from my office.

I am still feeling irritable when Welch calls, "Grey" I snap

"I have information about last night sir, unfortunately the undercover surveillance officer lost Miss Morgan and failed to report the fact that Miss Morgan was in the same vicinity as Miss Grey Mr Kavanagh and your son or the fact he lost her half way through the evening to either myself or Taylor, he has been released from his duties sir, usual terms, no severance, no reference. I have placed a new USO on the case and I can only apologise for his incompetence, I am shocked at his behaviour to be honest sir, but the matter has been rectified now."

"Right, make sure this doesn't happen again Welch you are on very thin ice at the moment" I snarl and slam the phone down.

I carry on and work methodically through the usual meetings and teleconferences. I look up again from my work and see it is nearly 6pm I reach for my phone and call Ana.

"Hi" she says as she answers

"Hi baby, where are you?" I ask

"Still at work, I was just about to call you, the last meeting I had ran a little late, I rang Ryan and he came by to take Teddy home earlier, I am just finishing off now and then Luke will take me home, what about you?"

"Same baby, I've been really busy and I lost track of time, but I'm just finishing off now and will be heading home shortly"

"Ok see you soon"

"Bye baby, I love you"

"I love you too"

With that she is gone. I finish up and about ¾ of an hour later Taylor and I head out. As we are heading out of the city we see a queue of traffic in front of us, I lean forward and look "What's going on, there is not normally traffic at this junction not at this time anyway" I say.

"Looks like some sort of accident sir" Taylor says calmly

I nod and settle back into my seat, as I do Taylor's phone rings, he quickly answers it and immediately he stiffens and glances at me, I look straight at him, something is wrong.

"Where are you Luke?" Taylor asks calmly "I see, yes we will head straight there now"

I watch as Taylor hangs up and moves into another lane which leads back into the city.

"What's going on Taylor?" I ask

"There has been an accident ahead sir" he says

"And?" I say

"A car ran a red light and went into the side of another one, the driver has been killed the driver and passenger of the other vehicle are hurt but not seriously and have been taken to hospital, the car that was hit, was Mrs Grey and Luke, sir" he stops and my head is suddenly whirling, no this can't be right, I spoke to her, she was heading home, she's safe she's not in hospital.

"No" I say "that's not right I spoke to her, she is on her way home, like we are, just like we are she is fine, she's not hurt she's fine, she's not at the hospital " I am gripping the back the front seats, panic surging through me, I rummage for my phone and as I do so it starts to ring. Its my mother.

"Mom" I gasp

"Christian, calm down, I take it you have heard about Ana"

"It's not true, tell me its not true, she's fine she is on her way home I spoke to her mom, she isn't in an accident she can't be" I sob.

"Christian listen to me, Ana is here at the hospital, she is not badly hurt but because she is pregnant she has been brought in as a precaution, ok so take it easy, I am with her at the moment, I was in the ER when she was brought in".

"Stay with her mom, don't you leave her" I shout

"I won't darling, of course I won't now calm down ok" she pleads.

I have no idea how we get to the hospital, I am out of the car before Taylor has stopped and run into the ER I see Sawyer sitting with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling, he is clutching some medication which I assume are pain meds he stands when I reach him.

"I'm sorry sir, he came out of nowhere, he just ploughed into us, I called the ambulance straight away, I came in with Mrs Grey, the car is a write off" he is clearly in shock and rambling, I touch his shoulder.

"You did good, where is she?" I ask

He points to a room opposite, "your mother is with her, sir" he says I nod.

"How are you? Have you been discharged?" I ask looking at him closely

He nods, "I'm fine, I got a cut on the head from some flying glass and my arm got broken, my head has been stitched and my arm has been set and I was discharged with these pain meds, I was told to go home and rest but I had to stay with Mrs Grey"

I touch his shoulder, "Of course you did, don't worry, I'm here now to take care of Mrs Grey, you need to go home and rest ok" I say gently to him, "You can stand down now Luke" I add when he doesn't move.

Taylor appears and Sawyer immediately starts rambling to him.

I turn to Taylor, "Get him home" I say

"No, I'm fine" Sawyer shouts then he stops "sorry sir" he says in a quieter tone.

Taylor quickly takes charge and speaks gently but firmly to him, "Come on Luke, let's get you home ok, Mrs Grey is safe and sound she is with her mother in law and Mr Grey is here now for her, you can stand down"

Sawyer nods, as he turns to leave I hear him say something to Taylor. "The man who hit us T, I know who it was" he says I put it out of my mind for now and as I watch them leave I go through the door into the room hoping that it's the right one. I see Ana in the bed she has small cuts all over her face and a bandage on her head, she is holding my mothers hand.

"Christian" she cries

My mother stands and moves out of the way as I rush towards Ana, "Oh baby" I gasp I run my fingers down her cheek and take in her obvious injuries, I gently touch the bandage on her head, "your head have you hurt your head again?" I whisper

"Yes but not the way you think, its a cut from broken glass when the car hit us, I had to have stitches"

I gently move the covers and glance down her body; she has scratches all over her arms, touch her bump gently "The baby?" I mutter

She places her hand on top of mine, "is fine...the baby is fine it was all a bit of a shock so they are keeping me here for observation just to make sure, if I wasn't pregnant I'd be home now" she says in a slightly irritated tone.

"Oh thank god" I whisper

"I just thank god Teddy wasn't with me, as where he sits is where the car hit us" she stops and starts to cry, I wrap my arm around her.

"Shush baby its ok" I whisper and kiss her head gently.

My mother touches my shoulder, I look round, "Ill head off now" she whispers

"Thank you Grace" Ana says gratefully

"Yes thanks mom" I say, I ease out of Ana's grasp and hug my mother tightly.

"Hey come on everything is fine" she says

We watch as my mother leaves the room. I return my attention back to Ana.

"How's Luke?" Ana asks

"Taylor took him home he was in shock" I say

"He was brilliant, Christian he really was, he was so calm and collected, he was bleeding and his arm was obviously broken but he refused to be treated by the medics that came he said I was priority, he told them I was pregnant and he made sure I was helped and sorted out before he let them near him, and he came with me in the ambulance, he was on the phone the whole time, he called Taylor, and he called Welch to get the car removed and he gave Welch the licence plate of the other car, he was wonderful Christian he really was"

I nod absently, all I feel is relief that Ana is alright, she tries to move and I see her wince.

"What? Are you hurting?" I ask anxiously

"I need to pee" she whispers with a grin

I smile and as she throws back the covers I help her up, I go to lift her and she pushes me back, "No I can walk" she says

I help her out of bed and to the bathroom I wait outside the door, when Ana's voice comes to me.

"Christian, could you fetch someone please" she asks

I burst through the door to her, "Why baby what's wrong?" I am down on my knees in front of her.

"I have a pain, please Christian" she asks

I run out into the hall way and to the desk, I grab the first person I see "Please help my wife she is in pain"

"Who is your wife sir?" the doctor says

"Anastasia Grey, she was in a car accident and she is pregnant" I say impatiently

The woman looks at me recognition dawning on her face and she quickly locates Ana's notes and pages Dr Green, I lead her back to the room Ana is still sitting on the toilet, tears are in her eyes as she looks up at me, "I'm bleeding" she whispers

I am beside her holding her to me, "No baby its ok everything is going to be ok" I say the young doctor helps Ana to her feet and back to the bed just as Dr Green arrives. The young doctor steps back I grasp her arm, "fetch my mother – Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey, Paediatrics" I say the doctor nods and leaves.

Dr Green examines Ana and transfers her to the anti natal ward "It could be nothing but to be sure we are going to keep her in over night under observation" My mother bursts through the door.

I fall into her arms, "She's bleeding mom" I gasp

"Ok darling its ok" she whispers to me as I cling to her. We go with Ana to a private room and Dr Green asks us to wait outside while she completes the examination and runs tests.

I sit with my mother she has her arm around my shoulder and I have my head resting on her shoulder, "She said she was in pain and then she said she was bleeding, she is going to lose our daughter isn't she?" I say bleakly

"Not necessarily Christian, stop thinking the worst, it could be anything and nothing, think positive ok"

I close my eyes I want is for Ana and the baby to be ok they have to be.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

After what seems like an eternity Dr Green emerges from the room, I stand as does my mother, I grip her hand tightly.

"Mr Grey, everything is fine, the spotting was caused by a urinary infection it was totally unrelated to the car accident, everything is going to be fine".

I sag with relief, "Can I see her now?" I ask

Dr Green nods and I head into the room, Ana looks embarrassed. "I have a urine infection" she mutters

I smile "yes I know, don't worry baby" I say as I sit down next to her, my mother pops her head around the door.

"Everything ok now?" she asks

Ana nods "Thank you Grace" she says again. She turns to me, "Christian you have to go home" she says to me.

"No, I'm not going anywhere" I state firmly

"No Christian, Teddy needs you, he will be waiting for you he will be wondering where we are, and it's not fair on Gail" she starts to get anxious.

"Ok baby I get it" I say and I reach for my phone.

"Gail" I say as the call is answered.

"Mr Grey, Jason told me what happened, how is Mrs Grey?" Gail sounds worried.

"She is ok, they are keeping her here for observation over night, how's Teddy?" I ask

"He's confused, asking for you both, we have been trying to keep him amused but he knows something is wrong, he saw Luke arrive with Jason and he asked them where you both were, Jason told him he would see you both soon".

"How is Luke?" I ask

"He's fine, he has eaten and is calm now, Jason is on his way back to you sir"

"Thank you Gail I will be home soon to see my son, is he there?" I hear Gail call Teddy to the phone.

"Daddy?" I hear his voice and I nearly lose it.

"Hey there buddy, daddy is coming home really soon, I promise, you be a good boy for Mrs Taylor ok?"

"Ok" I hear him say

"Good boy" I say

I wait and then Gail returns on the line, "Is he ok?" I ask anxiously

"He is now he has heard your voice" she says

"I will be home shortly to put him to bed" I say

"Very good sir, he has eaten his dinner and I have bathed him so he is ready for bed now" she says

"Thank you Gail" I say gratefully

"No problem sir, see you soon"

"Goodbye" I say and hang up

I turn to Ana, "Ok baby I am going to put our son to bed, I will be back as soon as I can"

"No Christian, stay with Teddy he needs you more than I do, please" she looks up at me

I close my eyes and reluctantly I nod "Ok baby" I say, I kiss her forehead and leave the room. Taylor stands as I leave the room. He looks like he has just arrived.

"Everything alright sir?" he asks

I nod, "yes Taylor, I'm going home, my son needs me, can you stay here?"

"Certainly sir" he replies and sits down again. He hands me the keys to the SUV and I head home.

When I walk in the door, Teddy flings himself at me, I pull him into my arms and hold him tightly, thanking god that he wasn't in the car at the time of the accident.

"What have you been doing?" I ask him gently

"Play" he says, I smile

"That's good" I say.

"Ryan play" he says looking at me,

"Did he?" I ask in surprise.

Gail walks up behind me, "I'm sorry sir, I was getting the dinner and I didn't have any other choice I didn't know what was happening and I needed to recruit someone to help me watch him" she looks worried.

"No problem Gail, you did what you had to do, and I am grateful for your support" I say with a smile.

Gail smiles at me with relief, I have to say sir, I saw a side of Chris which I never thought he had, he was really good with him, he kept him occupied and distracted".

"Did he?" I say "Out of interest Gail has the new CPO arrived?"

Gail nods, "Yes sir, Chris thought it was best to put her in the control room out of the way as Teddy doesn't know her, and he didn't want him worried or distressed with a new unfamiliar face. Luke was with Mrs Grey and Jason was with you he was with Teddy and so it seemed the natural thing to do...as she knows the system"

I nod, "Is she in there now?" I ask

Gail nods and I head towards Taylor's office with Teddy in my arms"

As soon as I enter Karen Prescott stands and offers her hand to me. I stand Teddy on the floor and shake her hand.

"Good evening sir, may I ask how Mrs Grey is?" she asks politely

"She is fine, hopefully home in the morning" I glance at Teddy who is staring at the woman in front of us.

I crouch down beside him, "Teddy, this lady is called Prescott, she works for Taylor so if she tells you to do something you listen to her ok, like you listen to Taylor, Sawyer and Ryan"

Teddy nods, Prescott smiles at him, and walks towards him slowly, she crouches down to his level and offers her hand out to him, "Hello Teddy, I am very pleased to meet you" she says kindly.

Teddy takes a shot look at me and I nod, "hello...Scott" he says and he touches her hand.

"Close enough buddy" I say and smile, I stand and pick him up, "I am going to put my son to bed, I will speak to you later" I say

"Yes sir" Prescott nods at me and returns to her seat. As she does this Ryan enters, he stops dead when he sees me.

"Sir" he says, "May I ask how Mrs Grey is?" he asks

"On the mend, she is being kept in for observation, because of the baby, but she is fine"

Ryan nods, "I am pleased to hear that sir" he says

"Ryan" Teddy shouts and wriggles out of my arms he goes to Ryan and slips his hand into Ryan's, "Play?" he asks looking up hopefully at him.

Ryan crouches "Not now Ted, your daddy has come to put you to bed, it's your bedtime now" he says in a soft kind tone, which I have never heard him use before.

"Ok" Ted replies and returns to me.

I decide to capitalise on this and take Teddy to bed, after we have done our bedtime routine and I have read him his story I settle him down, "Mommy?" he asks suddenly

"Not tonight buddy, mommy is tired, she is asleep" I say

He nods and closes his eyes. I wait until I am sure he is asleep and then go back downstairs to the control room in Taylor's office. I see Ryan and Prescott talking, they both stand as I enter.

I turn to Ryan, "Thank you for taking care of my son today" I say to him

Ryan nods but doesn't say a word.

"Taylor is at the hospital with Mrs Grey at the moment, I am assuming Sawyer is sleeping?" I say

Ryan nods, "He is now, it took him a while, but the meds kicked in and he was soon out of it".

I turn to Prescott, "We parted on somewhat awkward terms, Taylor has assured me that there won't be a repeat of your lapse of judgement which occurred previously"

"No sir" she replies confidently

"I do appreciate that those circumstances were not entirely your fault but you should have insisted that Miss Williams not be granted access to Mrs Grey" I say firmly

"Yes sir I understand and I assure you nothing like that will happen again"

I nod. "How long have you been here?" I ask

"Since about 4pm sir" she replies.

"Are you well rested?" I ask

"Yes sir" she replies with a hint of confusion on her face at my question.

"Would you be able to undertake a nightshift tonight?" I ask

"Yes sir" she says firmly.

I nod, "I want you to go to the hospital and take over from Taylor, nobody is to gain access to Mrs Grey Taylor will give you the details of who is granted access but it will be your responsibility to check their identity"

She nods, "No problem sir, you can count on me"

I nod and she leaves us, I turn to Ryan, "Ryan I am going to talk to Taylor about promoting you, you have shown loyalty to my family and stepped in to baby-sit my son when most people of your position would have thought the task beneath them.

"Sir if I may speak, Teddy needed watching it is my job to keep him safe, he is a small child which means a certain amount of play is involved, I do not consider that beneath me sir" he states firmly

I nod and smile at him, "Ryan how would you feel about becoming Teddy's personal CPO, it would be a difficult job especially as he gets older and when my daughter arrives you would be her CPO as well, would that be something you would consider?

"Definitely sir I am honoured you chose me, I won't let you down" he says.

I nod "I will inform Taylor when he arrives".

"Yes sir, thank you sir". He says.

I glance at the CCTV screens, "Everything as it should be?" I ask

"Yes sir, Prescott noted a car lurking near the gate and she got the licence plate, and make and forwarded it to Welch he is currently tracking it and finding further details on it, but apart from that everything is as it should be"

"Any idea who it was?" I ask

"No sir not yet, Welch hasn't informed us, possibly the media, after all the accident is now common knowledge, Sawyer did his best to contain it but it was pretty obvious who was involved and we have had a few calls come through from reporters".

"Parasites" I mutter. "Any idea who was driving the car which hit Sawyer and Mrs Grey?" I ask

"Erm yes sir" Ryan replies and looks at me carefully

"Well?" I ask

"Harvey Nolan sir, he was one of Welch's USO's he was fired today for failing to prevent the incident with Miss Morgan at the fairground, by all accounts he took the news badly and went on a bit of a bender, we are not sure whether it was premeditated to hit Sawyer and Mrs Grey or it was just an unfortunate coincidence, either way he died in the impact, from his injuries and we are obviously keeping the link to the family under wraps as if the media get hold of it they will go crazy".

I feel numb, why hasn't Welch informed me of this?

"Thank you Ryan" I say and leave the control centre

"Sir" he says.

I wander around feeling a little bit lost when my phone rings, I answer it quickly and it is Ray.

"Christian? What the hell has happened I have had numerous reporters knocking on my door asking about Annie, and some kind of car accident? I have tried her phone and she isn't answering, what the hell is going on? I told the reporters no comment and shut the door in their faces" He sounds cranky and worried.

"Oh god Ray I'm so sorry I should have called you, I have just got back from the hospital" I hear his breath sharply intake, "Don't panic, Ana's fine" I add quickly, "She was coming home from work when a car shot a red light and ploughed into the side of them, the driver of the other car was killed, Ana was really lucky and has only cuts from the glass, but they have kept her in for observation over night because of the baby, but honestly she is fine, Sawyer who was driving also has cuts and a broken arm, thankfully Teddy wasn't in the car with her, as the car hit exactly where he sits, I was on my way home from work when I got the news, my mother called me she was in ER when Ana and Sawyer were brought in and called me, we went straight to the hospital and I have only just got back, I'm sorry Ray I should have called you, I knew the press had gotten wind of it"

"Hey don't worry son, sounds like you had enough on your plate, I know now, that's the main thing, and Annie is definitely ok?" he asks

"Yes she is she should be discharged in the morning" I say firmly

"That's good, glad to hear it, I'll let you go then, before I do, a woman was hanging around here earlier she wasn't a reporter, youngish, brunette – looked a little bit like Annie actually, she unnerved me a little she didn't look very stable I've seen that look before in army guys when they have come back from active service, do you think I should call the cops?"

"No Ray, if you see her again, call Taylor and tell him he will handle it" I say.

"Ok, you are probably right, probably won't see the poor kid again, she looked lost, she didn't do anything so she doesn't need the cops hounding her, but if I do see her again I'll let Jason know"

"Ok Ray, thanks for calling and I'm sorry I didn't get round to telling you and you had to hear from a reporter" I say

"No worries son, goodnight" he says

"Goodnight Ray" I reply and hang up.

Taylor walks in I glance up and he looks tired, I quickly tell him about what Ray has said, and Taylor is of the same opinion as me that it is Leila. He calls Welch and informs him of Leila's latest tricks and I head off to bed. I am lying in bed, I feel lost without Ana beside me, but I promised her I would stay at home for Teddy, its going to be a long night though.

oooOOOooo

I open my eyes and look at the clock it is nearly 6am, I haven't woken before the alarm in so long, it was something I always did when I was alone before Ana. I lie there for a while then haul myself out and into the shower, dress and head downstairs, Gail is up and looks surprised to see me so early.

"Good morning sir, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Erm my usual" I mutter without much thought as I pour myself some coffee.

"Very good sir" Gail replies and quickly gets some eggs from the fridge to make me an omelette. I sit at the kitchen table and watch her.

She turns and looks at me, "Is everything ok sir?" she asks

I manage a weak smile, "Yes I just didn't sleep very well" I say she smiles back at me.

The door opens and Sawyer walks in he is still in his pyjamas and looks horrified when he sees me.

"I'm sorry Sir I didn't think you would be up yet" he stammers and goes to leave.

"Forget it Luke" I pull out a chair next to me, "here sit down" I add.

He hesitates and then takes the chair beside me. I look at him carefully.

"How are you?" I ask

"Fine sir, just a cut on the head, I had stitches so that will heal quickly and my broken arm doesn't hurt now, I'll rid myself of this sling as it will hinder me".

Taylor walks in fully dressed and ready to go, he frowns at Sawyer and his attire.

"Relax Taylor" I say to him, "Cut the guy some slack" Taylor nods and sits down and pours some coffee. The next to appear is Ryan, Sawyer looks in surprise.

"Who is with Mrs Grey?" he says immediately

"New CPO" Taylor says shortly

Sawyer looks at Taylor questioningly but doesn't say a word.

"Karen Prescott started yesterday" Taylor says quietly, "Mr Grey sent her to do the nightshift at the hospital so we could get some sleep".

I can see Sawyer is not entirely happy about this he stands, "I will get dressed and head over to the hospital to relieve her" he says.

"Are you sure you are up to it?" I ask

"Yes sir, Mrs Grey is my responsibility, I am her CPO and besides I have a new weapon, he holds up his plaster caste encased arm and grins.

We watch him leave, I turn to Taylor, "Keep an eye on him" I say and Taylor nods.

Prescott arrives looking tired as I am getting ready to leave for the hospital. "Everything ok Prescott?" I ask

She quickly pulls out a notebook, "Yes sir, Mrs Grey slept well, Dr Green was just arriving as Luke came to relieve me, nobody came during the night, but first thing this morning I saw a woman hovering near the end of the corridor, I photographed her so Welch can run her through the face recognition but she was acting suspiciously which drew my attention to her she saw me watching her and she went, the thing is sir she looks familiar I know I have seen her before but for the life of me I can't place her".

"Do you have the photograph still?" I ask.

"Yes sir" she reaches for her phone and shows me the picture. I close my eyes as I see Elizabeth Morgan clearly in the photograph.

"Well done Prescott, this woman is Elizabeth Morgan"

Prescott's mouth drops open, "Elizabeth Morgan – as in Elizabeth Morgan - the woman who was working with Jack Hyde and kidnapped your sister who used to work at Grey Publishing when it was SIP?"

"The very same" I say grimly, "she has recently made a reappearance, we have discovered that she has been visiting Hyde in prison, and she tried to make contact with my sister the other night, and she has sent my wife letters which were from Hyde, and managed to bypass security to get them to her".

"I see sir, well I'm really sorry, I didn't recognise her and had no idea she was such a threat or I would have informed Taylor straight away" she looks worried.

I shake my head, "No don't worry you sent the information to Welch, with everything that happened yesterday, you didn't get the briefing you should have done with regard to known risks, that's my fault I sent you out before Taylor was able to do that".

Taylor appears, and Prescott quickly outlines the events and shows Taylor the photograph. Taylor nods, he turns to me, "Sir would it be possible to quickly brief Prescott on other known risks and bring her up to speed before we head out?"

"Certainly" I say.

I sit down; I decide to call Mia, to see how she is.

"Hi Mia, how are you?" I ask as she picks up.

"Christian I'm fine, how's Ana? Mom told me what happened, is she ok, how's the baby, was Teddy with her?"

"Hang on Mia I can only answer one question at a time, Ana is fine, she was kept in as a precaution because she is pregnant, the baby is fine, Teddy wasn't with her thank god, Ryan had fetched him earlier because Ana was working late" I stop.

"That's good. Listen Christian, I am really sorry about the other night, I really upset Teddy and I should have known better, Ryan wouldn't have let her hurt me, but it all came back to me when she touched me of when she took me and I sort of flipped"

"Its ok, kids are resilient, that woman is proving to be a pain though, she was caught hanging around the hospital this morning, Welch has some explaining to do and he'd better make it good, Mia can I meet you for lunch, I am just off to the hospital, to see Ana, hopefully she should be discharged this morning, but I'd like to talk to you about the other night?"

"Sure, why don't you call me when you know what's happening with Ana and then maybe I could come over, as I'd like to see Ana – if that's ok?"

"Yeah, sounds good, I'm sure Ana would love to see you" I look up and see Taylor walking towards me, "I have to go, talk to you later"

"Ok Bye Christian" she says and hangs up

"Ready?" I ask and Taylor nods.

"Yes Sir" he says.

I spot Gail, "Gail, Teddy is still asleep, I shouldn't be too long, hopefully Ana should be discharged and we will be back before he wakes up".

Gail nods. "Yes sir" she says.

When we arrive at the hospital, I turn to Taylor, "I am going to have a quick word with Sawyer before we go in to Ana" Taylor nods and tactfully makes himself scarce.

I walk over to him and he immediately stands, "Luke can I have a word?" I ask gently

"Sir?" he says looking straight at me. I gesture to the seat and we both sit down.

"I heard you telling Taylor that you knew who it was who hit the car?" I ask

He sighs and nods, "I do know him, or should I say did"

"Who was he and what did you know of him?" I ask

Sawyer leans back and thinks carefully, "His name is...was Harvey Nolan sir, I was shocked he could do that to Mrs Grey, I don't know if it was deliberate or not, but we had received a code black on him earlier in the day, he was one of Welch's weasels ...sorry sir, USO that is Undercover Surveillance officer, not to be confused with his UPO's that's undercover protection officer" he stops and smiles wryly. "They that is the USO's call us CPO's Grey's Gorilla's and we call them Welch's Weasels, no malice sir, just an in joke between us all, anyway Welch sent out a code black which means an USO, UPO or CPO has gone rogue, in this case it was Harvey after his fuck up...I mean ...no I do mean fuck up, the other night which lead to Elizabeth Morgan approaching Miss Grey, Welch fired him and as far as I know he must have made some threats or something which gave Welch cause for concern to put out the code black, so when I recognised the car and got myself together I informed Welch immediately and he sent out some guys to clean things up. I would just like to apologise for my behaviour last night sir, I wasn't very rational or professional, I was in shock that Harvey could do such a thing, and he was a good bloke so the fact he had also died knocked me sideways as well as what he did, and then I was worried about Mrs Grey and the baby, and I was in pain and the meds they gave me were starting to kick in and I was just all over the place I am really sorry sir its no excuse and I assure you it won't happen again" he looks at me earnestly.

I nod at him and touch his shoulder, "Thank you for telling me what you know, and there is no need to apologise, you did what you had to do last night you weren't yourself anyone could see that but it was exceptional circumstances but you put my wife and unborn baby first so you did your job and for that fact I am happy and grateful and after what you all went though you were entitled to a bit of a meltdown" I smile at him.

"Thank you sir" he says gratefully. He looks a little bit stunned I realise he was expecting me to bawl him out about his erratic behaviour.

"No problem" I reply, I stand and he follows, "I am going in to see my wife now" I look around, "Taylor is around somewhere, hopefully Ana is ready to be discharged and we can all go home".

As I enter the private room, Ana is dressed and waiting for us. I pull her into my arms.

"Hi" she whispers as she wraps her arms around my waist

"How are you?" I ask

"I'm fine, baby is fine and I can go home, I have meds to get rid of the infection, I am going to work from home today and everything is good" she says with a grin.

I am so relieved I smile widely and lead her out to the car, Sawyer follows and I see him in conversation with Taylor. When we get home, I quickly call Mia and arrange for her to come over at lunch time, I call Andrea and Ros and arrange to work from home, I just want to be with Ana, but I got everything sorted out the day before so I am in a position to be able to do so, until I get the response from the CEO of the company I am taking over. Anything else Ros can handle.

Ana and I sit on the sofa, Gail is fussing she brings Ana some pancakes which she made. Teddy had awoken just before we got back and was tucking into pancakes in the kitchen, when we arrived; he barely looked up as we walked in. Ana commented that the pancakes smelt delicious and Gail immediately offered to make her some.

"These are so good" Ana says between mouthfuls of pancake, "Nobody makes pancakes like Gail"

I smile, pleased to see her eating heartily, I love it when she is pregnant she always gains a healthy appetite. "Mia is coming round later" I say as I watch Ana eat.

"Ok" Ana says "Why?"

"Because she wants to see you, and I want to talk to her about the other night" I say.

"Ok but don't push her, you know that whole thing really upset her she feels rotten that she upset Teddy so much" Ana says.

"How do you know?" I ask

"She called me to apologise I told her to forget it, but it really got to her, so go easy on her"

"Right" I say quietly

We spend the morning talking and working, Ana takes a couple of calls from the office and I have to take a conference call, it was a meeting I had totally forgotten about and already blown off once. Just before midday Mia arrived and immediately flung her arms around Ana.

"Oh my God Ana how are you, all those scratches on your face, was that from glass?" Ana nods, Mia looks closely at Ana's face, "They are all very slight so there shouldn't be any scarring" she says.

Ana nods again, "yes they told me that at the hospital, the one on my head needed stitches but that's in my hairline, so shouldn't be too visible, thank goodness".

I listen, I wouldn't care if Ana had been scarred I love her too much and she would always be beautiful to me, but I realise that maybe she is concerned that she may be scarred. I don't say anything but make a mental note to speak to her about it later.

Gail pops her head around the door, "Lunch will be ready in 5 minutes sir" she says.

"Thanks Gail" I say. Just as I turn to speak to Mia my phone rings, I look at the screen, its Welch, about fucking time, I have been waiting for his call all morning, I have gradually been getting more and more irritated at his silence, but I was determined not to call him its not my place to keep chasing him, plus it gives me more leverage when it comes to me firing his ass if it comes to that.

"Grey" I snap

"Mr Grey Sir, I thought I'd better ring and bring you up to speed on events"

"Well its about fucking time, I have only been waiting all fucking morning" I say sarcastically.

"I'm sorry sir, but I have been implementing updated protocol" he answers.

"Less of the excuses Welch just talk" I snap, I look up and see Mia and Ana staring at me.

"Well sir, yesterday evening I got a call from Karen Prescott with details of a car which was spotted lurking outside your residence, well that same car was also seen parked in the garage at Escala. It is registered to Leila Williams sir, and her family have confirmed she is AWOL again. Since the disclosures about your relationship with her, and your subsequent withdrawal of financial support she has been failing to attend her therapy sessions. Her father said she has become increasingly obsessed with Mrs Grey over the past few months and we have a strong suspicion that she proves to be a threat to Mrs Grey, especially in Mrs Grey's current condition, so I have been implementing round the clock surveillance on Miss Williams, we know where she is living at present and we have a trace on her cell phone, she has an USO on her 24/7 we are lucky as she believes nobody is aware of her presence in Seattle, so she isn't being covert, and it has been relatively easy to keep tabs on her, we cannot move in unless she makes a credible threat to Mrs Grey but obviously I don't want things to get to that point so I also have 2 UPO's on Mrs Grey as well, I am making you aware of this but I felt it best not to worry Mrs Grey with the news given her current condition and I will leave it up to you as to whether you inform her of this, Sawyer is also aware of the situation and hopefully this should prove sufficient to keep Mrs Grey, your son and the unborn baby safe. Now, the other issue we have is with Miss Morgan, I have been kept informed of her movements by her USO and I was aware of her arriving at the hospital this morning the USO was under orders that she was to be observed but not challenged unless she became an obvious threat, we have a trace on her cell phone and we know she is in regular contact with Jack Hyde, as you can imagine this is highly worrying and I believe the next time she breaks cover we should apprehend her, I now have enough information to prove that she is a credible threat to Mrs Grey and Miss Grey. We need her out of the way. Finally the accident with Mrs Grey yesterday evening, it transpires that the driver of the other vehicle was Harvey Nolan, he was the original USO I had on Miss Morgan until I terminated him yesterday, from what he said as he left yesterday, that he would get even with me for firing him and I would end up out on my ass when he had finished gave me enough reason to believe he could be a credible threat. I immediately sent out a code black – that means that a member of security personnel had gone rogue and everyone was on high alert. I had him tracked and he was at a bar all afternoon, unfortunately he managed to give my USO the slip by leaving via a different route and he managed to get to Mrs Grey and Sawyer before we could apprehend him, the USO who was tracking him nearly managed to apprehend him until he veered across the carriageway and ran the red light, obviously the USO backed off as it was unsafe for him to proceed but I believe he didn't know what he was doing as he was so drunk, and he fulfilled his plan to cause a situation without actually meaning to . As soon as Sawyer called me and informed me of the incident I sent two of my best men for the cleanup crew to recover the SUV and to search Nolan's car, but they found nothing to give any impression that the incident was deliberate. He was pronounced dead on arrival so we will never truly find out."

"I see" I say when Welch finally finishes speaking. I stand and head to my study and close the door.

"Can you reassure me my family are safe?" I ask

"Yes sir I can, everything humanly possible is being done to keep track of these women, I will admit I am more concerned about Miss Williams as she is unstable and therefore unpredictable, Miss Morgan seems to be just trying to be annoying"

"Right thank you Welch I am a little concerned that my father in law seems to have been troubled by Leila, was she under surveillance when that incident happened last night?"

"I was in the process of stepping up the security on her as I had received the information of her at your residence, so she must have either driven from your home to your father in law's or vice versa either way we are now aware of her every move, and should she try to make contact with anyone I assure you she will be stopped".

"Keep me informed and Taylor briefed of any developments"

"Yes sir" Welch says

I hang up and head out to my wife and sister.

"What was all that about?" Ana asks looking at me closely

"Nothing, just Welch" I say, she stares at me and I know that she knows I am fobbing her off she doesn't say anything but gives me a look which tells me that isn't the end of this".

"Shall we get some lunch" I say and we head out to the kitchen, Gail has prepared some cold meats, salad, baby new potatoes and salmon it all looks delicious, and we help ourselves.

I decide to find out what exactly happened the other evening I turn to Mia, "Mia what did Elizabeth Morgan say to you the other evening did she threaten you, is that why you got so upset?" I ask casually. Ana looks at me in warning.

"Christian" she says

Mia looks up, "No Ana its alright, I actually want to talk about it, I need to know I wasn't just over reacting, I was terrified, but I think she gave me reason to, and well I'd like to talk about it, I don't want to discuss it with Mom because she will get upset and panic and try to keep me in, and I don't want to talk to Ethan about it because I'm sure he thinks I'm just a hysterical silly woman." She looks down and I feel sorry for her, she has always been perceived as silly and a bit of an airhead but she has feelings and feels she can't speak to people about what is troubling her, it reminds me too much of my own solitary past, I never thought Mia cared about what people thought about her, she always seems so bubbly and outgoing, it is a shock to listen to what she has just said.

"Well I'm listening Mia, I won't think you are silly and hysterical so talk" I say gently and smile encouragingly at her.

She sighs, "Well we were having a lovely evening, Ryan was a little jittery with all the crowds he had spoken to Ethan a couple of times and they had arranged a sort of protocol because Ryan was on his own. I thought it was unnecessary and I said as much, Ethan got a bit angry with me and told me to let Ryan do his job, I realised he was there to protect Teddy and I had to work with him on that. So I agreed and everything was going really well, Teddy had a ball, Ryan and Ethan took him on rides, because Ryan thought it was safer that way. Ryan called Taylor a few times, I don't know what about but I guessed it was something he just had to do. Then Ethan had to use the bathroom, he went in and we waited outside. Teddy was talking nineteen to the dozen about what a good time he had, and he was so good Christian, he behaved perfectly. Anyway, we were waiting, Ryan was watching one direction, his eyes were everywhere but this particular moment he was looking one way and ...that woman came up on his blind side. She touched my arm, and said ' Hello Mia, Jack sends his regards' I just screamed, it reminded me of when she grabbed my arm when she...took me, and that voice of hers so cold and ...sneering, I couldn't help it I just screamed - which frightened the life out of Teddy and Ryan immediately practically jumped on her, and pulled me and Teddy behind him, that scared Teddy even more, I was crying and he was crying and then Ethan came, he just picked up Teddy and took my hand and took us to our car he climbed in the drivers seat and started the engine, and locked the doors. I said we had to wait for Ryan, and he said not to worry about anything. I was so thoughtless I kept going on about how the hell did she get near us, and Teddy asked who it was, Ethan told him she was a bad lady, and that upset him even more, and he started asking for you, then Ryan arrived, Ethan let him drive and climbed in the back with me and teddy he comforted Teddy and told him he was taking him to you and that everything would be ok. The rest you know" she stops and stifles a sob. "I am so sorry Christian I should never have reacted like that, it just took me back"

Ana reaches over and grasps Mia's hand, "Don't blame yourself Mia" she says.

I get up and crouch down beside my sister, "Mia you reacted as anyone who had been through what you went though would, don't worry, you didn't over react and you have nothing to be sorry for, thank you for telling us what she said I can pass that on to Welch" I wrap my arm around her shoulder, she turns and rests her head on me.

"Thank you Christian" she says and sniffs loudly.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

After Mia has left I go in search of Ana and find her on the phone in the library. I wait leaning in the doorway my arms folded as she finishes up the call. From what she is saying I am assuming she is talking to Hannah. She ends the call and looks at me and smiles.

"I have cleared my schedule for the rest of the week; I am going to work from home and spend some quality time with Teddy. I am delighted at this news and immediately pull out my phone and call Andrea and Ros. Ros isn't impressed by my decision to take the rest of the week out but I talk her around as I always manage to do.

"I hope you are going to make this worth my while Grey" she says in a good natured tone after I have talked her round.

"You got a raise last month" I shoot back, "So start earning it"

Ros's throaty laugh comes down the line, "Ok you got me there" she says

When I finish up the call I pull Ana into my arms, I gently touch her head, "Are you worried about scarring?" I ask suddenly remembering her conversation with Mia.

Ana looks up at me and doesn't say anything.

"You are aren't you?" I push

She nods, "It did cross my mind" she mutters, "but I was assured all these" she gestures to her face, "will clear completely with no scaring, and this will possibly scar but will be hidden by my hair"

I nod, and kiss her gently, "No matter what happens you are still the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and you always will be".

Ana leads me over to the sofa and clambers on to my knee; I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. "Christian can I ask you something?" she starts

"Of course you can baby" I say, I have an idea what this is going to be about.

"What did Welch want?" she asks, I was right; I knew she was going to push this.

"He rang to tell me about the guy who hit you and Sawyer yesterday, it was one of his USO's, in particular the one he fired yesterday after he let Elizabeth Morgan reach Mia, Ethan and Teddy the other night, he went on a bender and well the rest you know" I stop, she looks carefully at me, and nods.

"Ok what else?" she asks, I think carefully.

"He told me of the new improved USO on Elizabeth Morgan and what is planned should she make another move like she made the other night" I stop I really don't want to tell her about Leila but then I realise if she speaks to Ray she will know anyway, so I choose my words carefully. I pull her even closer. "Also he informed me that Leila is AWOL again and possibly a little unstable, she was seen outside Ray's last night, so he told me that she has a tail on her as well" I stop pleased with how I worded that, I have told her the truth but not worried her with the concerns that she is the target.

"Is Ray ok?" she asks immediately

I nod, "Yes we spoke last night, he was worried about you, but I assured him that you and the baby were both fine. He mentioned seeing Leila but he doesn't know who she is, and I'd like to keep it that way, I told him that if she appears again he is to call Taylor, and he would go over and see who she was and move her on.

Ana nods, "Ok I am going to call him anyway let him know I am home and everything is good" she says.

"He would appreciate that" I say. She reaches in her pocket for her phone and still on my knee she calls Ray.

"Hi daddy" she says, "yes...I'm fine and the baby is too...just a few cuts nothing serious...no...They kept me in as a precaution...no...although they discovered I had a urine infection which they gave me meds for so that was an added bonus that they found that...yes I will daddy" she looks up at me "he is right here with me now, he is working from home so he can be with me" she giggles, "I do not need watching!" she exclaims, "Ok daddy, you too, bye" she hangs up a lingering smile on her face.

"Ok?" I ask

She nods, "he was pleased to hear from me, it put his mind at rest, you could tell him till you are blue in the face that I'm ok but he won't totally believe it until I told him" she says.

"I know how he feels, it's because he loves you, just like I do" I say. "Let's go and find Teddy and do something together as a family. Oh by the way I have promoted Ryan I was going to tell you but with everything that has happened it slipped my mind, he stepped in and took care of Teddy when you were in the hospital, and kept him safe, so I have promoted him to Teddy's CPO, he will be assigned to Teddy for the rest of his life and also our daughter when she is born".

Ana nods, "that's fine" she says easily.

We leave the library and find Teddy in his playroom with Ryan. Ryan stands as soon as we walk in and Teddy rushes over to me and I pull him up into my arms.

"Hey there buddy" I say

"Daddy" he squeals, I glance at Ana and she has her head down, I immediately whisper into Teddy's ear to say hi to mommy, immediately he leans towards her and holds out his arms "Mommy" he says, and Ana's face breaks into a huge grin and she takes him from me.

"Oh you are getting so heavy" she says as she holds him to her and kisses his cheek.

He flings his arms around her neck and buries his head in her shoulder.

"I am taking my family to Aspen" I say, the idea has literally just popped into my head, and I decide to run with it, I want them out of Seattle while Leila and Elizabeth Morgan are on the loose I want them safe and relaxed. The idea quickly forms and takes shape in my mind, Ana stares at me in disbelief and then smiles.

"I call Taylor and when he appears I quickly tell him to call Stephan and get the jet on standby at Sea Tac, I tell him we are heading out to Aspen and to call Carmella to get our rooms ready. Taylor nods and leaves the room.

"I'd better get Teddy's things together" Ana says, she stands him on the floor, "Want to help mommy pack?" she says, Teddy shakes his head and runs back to me, I see Ana's face fall a little but she rallies and smiles, "Ok daddy you're in charge then" and she turns to leave.

"Get Gail to help you "I shout after her as she leaves."Ryan I want you with me too, I want Sawyer here with Prescott"

"Sir" Ryan nods and leaves to pack.

I have a sudden idea and I call Ray, "Ray, it's Christian, how do you fancy a bit of fishing in Aspen?" I ask as soon as he answers

There is a silence before Ray answers me.

"Well I never say no to a fishing trip" he says eventually, "When?"

"In a couple of hours?" I say

"Seriously?" Ray splutters

"Yes the idea came to me to take Ana to Aspen for a long weekend to recover, and I thought you might like to join us and get a bit of fishing in, you could have a break and see for yourself that Ana is fine"

"Well when you put it like that, I'll go dig out my fishing gear!" He says

"Great, we will pick you up on route to Sea Tac in say...an hour's time?" I look at my watch.

"Sure, that will give me time to pack and get my stuff together" I hang up and go upstairs to find Ana, I find her with Gail packing a case.

"Ray is coming too" I say and smile as Ana's face lights up.

"Really, how did you get him to come?" she asks

"The promise of fishing" I say with a grin. "I hope you don't mind, the idea just came to me, I knew he was worrying about you and this way he can see for himself you are ok, plus I like Ray, and I enjoyed it the last time we went fishing together".

Ana nods, "Ok I am looking forward to seeing Carmella again"

The next hour is a whirl and I wonder how we did it as we drive over to Ray's and pick him up. We arrive at Sea Tac and the jet is waiting, Taylor and Ryan load the luggage on to the plane, Sawyer and Prescott drive our cars back to the house. Teddy is beside himself with excitement he insists on sitting next to Ray, Ana buckles him in and tells him he has to sit still until we tell him he can move, he nods solemnly, he is an old hand at flying now and he's not yet two years old.

The flight is quick and trouble free and we arrive at our home in Aspen as it is just starting to get dark. Ana shows Ray to his room and Teddy runs squealing to Carmella and she picks him up.

"Hungry" he says and Carmella laughs.

"Well it's a good job I have supper ready then" she says and carries Teddy into the kitchen, the smell is delicious, Carmella has put together a one pot stew and there is freshly baked crusty bread on the table she leaves us to eat.

Ray appears, "Mmm something smells good" he says and sits himself down he helps himself to a bowl full of the stew and tucks in there is a comfortable silence as we all eat, Teddy dips his bread in his stew and clears his bowl. I watch as Ana goes for second helpings, I am pleased to see her eating so well.

After supper Teddy starts to wilt and I purposely step back and let Ana go to take him to bed, but as she goes to carry him from the room, he leans towards me, "Daddy, story" he demands.

I look at Ana and take Teddy from her arms, "why don't you spend some time with your dad?" I say gently, she nods and hands Teddy over to me. I see Ray watching carefully and he looks at me and then at Ana.

"Come here Annie and sit with your old man and let's have a chat" he says

Ana grins and heads over to Ray, he looks at me and I see an almost imperceptible nod from him.

I go upstairs and put my son to bed I read him his story and settle him, as he falls asleep I sit watching him, and it dawns on me he always comes to me, he always wants his daddy, and I have more than encouraged that. I have been a hands on father, from the moment Teddy was born, I always jumped in and helped out with him, especially when Ana was recovering from the C section. I start to wonder if I have jumped in a little bit too much, Teddy always comes to me, and sometimes it seems like he ignores Ana and that's not right, I was so determined to show Ana how much I loved my son and wanted him, I did it to make up for my appalling behaviour when she first told me she was having him, plus in my usual over protective controlling way I have as usual taken things too far and taken him over, I have to make this right.

I quietly go downstairs and hear Ana talking to Ray I stop on the staircase and listen.

"Surely you are happy Christian has such a good relationship with Teddy?" I hear Ray say.

"Of course I am, he adores him, Teddy is his world, and I know I am too, and that really doesn't bother me, I am glad Christian has bonded so well with Teddy and that Teddy loves him as much as he does, Christian was so scared that he wouldn't be a good father, he was so insecure that he was afraid that Teddy would need me and that I would not have any time for him so I was happy to let him take over a little especially when I was recovering from the C Section, and he always did more than his fair share of getting up with Teddy, he insisted I started expressing milk and giving it in bottles so that he could be part of it and help with night feeds, I agreed as it meant I could get some sleep at night. He has been wonderful, I can't fault him and I don't want to, Teddy loves him, and that is how it should be, it's just when Christian is around...I don't exist"

"Have you spoken to Christian about this Annie?" Ray asks

"No, I don't want to spoil what he has with Teddy with some irrational feelings of rejection which I know are unfounded, I know Teddy loves me... he just loves Christian more, and I have to accept that"

I close my eyes, Ana feels rejected by her own son, after the way Carla has treated her over the years making her feel second best to whichever man is currently in her life, I realise that this must be crushing her, but as usual she is thinking about me, about how I would feel if she mentioned this, and she doesn't want to upset me. I continue to listen.

"Annie you have to talk to him, and tell him, he can do something to put this right, step back a little, Christian has a very...dominating personality, he can make people do what he wants without really realising it, don't get me wrong Annie I think he's great, I really do, and you two are brilliant together and he adores you, but he does have this way with him, but I am also sure if you talk to him and tell him what you have said to me, he will want to help make it right, no decent man wants to come between a mom and her son"

I make a point of coming down the stairs noisily and entering the lounge, Ana immediately looks at her hands, Ray smiles at me.

"Teddy asleep?" he asks

I nod, "Yes the flight tired him out" I say, I don't take my eyes off of Ana, Ray stands and stretches and yawns deliberately.

"I'm going to hit the sack too, I'm beat, see you two in the morning" as he moves away he touches Ana's shoulder, "Night Annie" he says

"Goodnight daddy" she replies,

He claps me on the back as he passes me "Night Christian" he says

"Goodnight Ray" I respond. I walk over to Ana and sit beside her and pull her on to my knee, how are you baby, ready for bed yet?" I ask gently as I caress her bump

She shakes her head; she is still looking at her hands and playing with her fingers.

"Ana, what's wrong baby?" I ask

"Nothing... its just...I...nothing" she says and snuggles closer to me.

"Ana talk to me" I say a little more forcefully

She sighs "I don't want you to get upset, you are a brilliant father and you are so wonderful with Ted I don't want to spoil it" she stops.

"But?" I say, I am not going to say anything I want Ana to tell me

"It sounds childish and stupid and quite pathetic actually, I mean I know Teddy loves me, but I often feel like..." she stops again

"Go on" I urge

There is a silence and then she looks at me and kisses my neck, "sometimes I feel like he loves you more than he loves me, he always runs to you, he always wants to play with you, its not your fault Christian, please don't think I am blaming you, but sometimes I feel like you do ..."

"monopolise him" I finish for her

She nods.

I hold her tightly to me, "I'm sorry baby, it is my fault, I wanted to show you how much I loved him, how much he meant to me to get those awful words I said when you first told me you were pregnant out of your head and I went a little over the top, I do monopolise him, because I love him, but I love you too and you need a relationship with your son as much as I do, I'll make this right baby, thank you for telling me" I say as I kiss the top of her head.

I awaken the next morning and head downstairs, Ray is already up and talking to Carmella in the kitchen, he looks around and smiles as I wander in.

"You are up early Ray!" I say as I grab myself a coffee.

"I needed to get some things straight in my head, so I went for a little walk, Christian could I talk to you man to man?"

I nod, "Yes Ray of course you can, I also would like to talk to you, call it an ulterior motive for dragging you out here, but I need your advice on something"

Ray nods and sips his tea; I smile as I see he drinks it like Ana, weak and black.

"I was thinking Ray we could go out today just you and me, leave Teddy here with Ana and we could go do a bit of fishing and use that opportunity to have a chat?"

Ray shrugs, "Fine by me son"

"Thank you" I say quietly. I turn to see the kitchen door opening.

"Here you are!" Ana exclaims, she goes to Ray and kisses his forehead, "Morning Daddy" she says he looks embarrassed by the gesture but smiles at her.

"Morning Annie, listen Christian and I are going fishing today, just the two of us, are you ok with that, I don't want to be the third wheel if you had something you wanted to do?"

I see Ray looking at Ana's expression closely.

"No that's fine, gives me chance to spend a little quality time with Teddy" she says with a smile. She looks at me as she says this.

She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist, I pull her close to me and hiss her forehead gently.

Carmella appears and asks us all what we would like for breakfast as I open my mouth to answer, Teddy comes barrelling through the door, he charges at Ray and holds up his arms, Ray grins at him and lifts him onto his knee and Teddy giggles wildly.

I watch him as he totally ignores me and Ana, and I feel something of what Ana must feel all the time, I feel pushed out and set aside, it is ridiculous for me to feel like that, as I know Teddy is only behaving like this because Ray is here but it brings it home to me that this is how Ana feels all the time, because Teddy always turns to me.

After breakfast, Ray and I get ready to head out fishing, Teddy throws a tantrum because he wants to come along, and I take him to one side. "Teddy if you behave like this you won't go fishing at all" I scold. He immediately calms down.

"Fish" he says looking up at me with tearful eyes.

"Yes buddy you will, but granddad and I have to go find a safe place for you to go fishing ok" I lie but it works, I feel terrible lying to my son, but I really want him to spend time with Ana without me.

Teddy nods at me.

"Good boy" I say, "you will have a lovely morning with mommy ok?" I say

He smiles "mommy play?" he asks eagerly

"She sure will buddy" I say he immediately leaves me running to find Ana shouting "mommy play" at the top of his voice.

Ana mouths thank you to me as Teddy flings himself at her, and Ray puts his hand on my shoulder, "Well done son" he whispers in my ear. We head outside and load up the truck with our fishing gear. Ana comes out with Teddy in her arms I walk over to them I stroke Teddy's head.

"Be a good boy for mommy" I say

He nods, "Play" he says.

I kiss Ana chastely on the lips "See you later baby" I whisper in her ear.

Ray watches us and smiles as I turn to him "Ready?" I say.

"Definitely" he replies and climbs into the truck.

We head out to my favourite spot and set up our gear, we have our waders on and stand in the water. The companionable silence is broken by Ray, "What did you want to talk about son?" he asks.

I sigh, "A few things" I say

"Ok, what's on your mind?" he asks

"You know I love Ana with all my heart don't you, and I would never do anything to knowingly hurt her?" I say

"Yes, you have told me that before" Ray says looking at me carefully

"I have a situation I am dealing with at the moment and I want to be honest with Ana but I don't want to scare her and cause her stress not with the baby and everything" I pause

"Go on" Ray urges

"The former submissive who went to the press and exposed me, well she seems to have developed an obsession with Ana, she has been seen lurking around our house and Escala" I decide to come clean with Ray, "and I believe that was the girl who was lurking around outside your place too" I say.

"I see" Ray says he doesn't answer for the longest time, then asks "What exactly does Annie know?"

"Just that Leila has gone AWOL and is possibly unstable, she isn't aware of the heightened security which Welch has implemented, in case Leila makes an attempt towards her".

Ray nods, "I personally think she knows enough, she knows this Leila is hanging around but she doesn't need to know about the increase in security – not yet anyway, if anything happens then tell her and make it sound like its a positive thing like don't worry Annie she won't be able to get to you or something like that and explain why, does she know about her hanging around near my place?"

I nod "yes I mentioned it" I say, "and in typical true to form she was more worried about you"

Ray smiles, "Exactly how unstable is this Leila?" he asks

"Well she has pulled a few stunts, when Ana and I got together she approached Ana outside her work and she also broke into Escala and made a nuisance of herself, by making a haphazard attempt to slash her wrist in front of Gail, she trashed Ana's car when it was parked at Escala, she held Ana at gunpoint at her apartment that she shared with Kate, then she tried to make contact with me and when I refused to see her she went to see Ana at work knowing I would turn up. Admittedly she was a sick girl her partner had died and she was alone and had a mental breakdown, but I believe she has always harboured the notion that we would be together some day, now that I am married and am a father and she realises that is not a possibility she has turned her attention to Ana and I am just scared how far she will go, her family have warned us that she started developing an obsession with Ana shortly after she had Teddy and I think the idea behind coming out and exposing me was to try and split us up but it backfired spectacularly ironically thanks to Ana, because Leila went to a publishing house first of all to try and get a book deal on her story but they tipped Ana off and refused to have anything to do with her and which made Ana set in motion the PR exercise which she had put together, as she realised Leila would go to the press next, which she did. Now I believe she is getting desperate, Welch is worried because she is unstable and unpredictable"

"I see, well if I see her I will let Jason know straightaway, I can handle myself, its just Annie I'm worried about, no amount of security can combat someone who is unstable as they just don't care, and that scares me, especially with her being pregnant, do you think she will target the children?"

"I don't know Ray" I sigh, "What did you want to speak to me about?" I ask remembering that Ray wanted to talk to me.

"You have answered what I wanted to know, I had a feeling that the girl hanging around near me was something to do with you and now I know she was"

"I just wish I could make my past disappear, I don't want it always hanging over us ready to tarnish Ana and my children" I say sadly

Ray looks at me "Christian, you can't say that, your past is part of you and part of who you are, if your birth mother hadn't been a drug addict you would have grown up with her in Detroit and never met Ana, never known Grace and Carrick, Elliot and Mia, you probably wouldn't have become the man you are today, it would have been a totally different life you would have, would it be better or worse, who knows but you are what you are Christian, don't be ashamed of your past, you did what you did because it seemed right at the time, it could be argued that if that woman hadn't introduced you to it you wouldn't have gone down that route but you did, but you can't change that, and for the record from what you have said, yes she did abuse you, you were 15 for gods sake she was what, mid 30's? Old enough to know better and know right from wrong and seducing a 15 year old kid into a BDSM lifestyle is wrong whatever way you look at it, but you did it and now you have moved on to another phase of your life as a married family man, don't beat yourself up about stuff you can't change".

"Thanks Ray" I say, "You talk a lot of sense"

"I won't lie to you, I wasn't keen on you when Annie first got with you, you came across as so arrogant and domineering, you worried me, you overwhelmed me, that day I first met you at Annie's graduation you talked me around and got me agreeing to things I would never normally have agreed to with the reservations I had and I was scared that you would do the same to Annie, but you love her that much is obvious and was obvious then, and I know you won't let anything bad happen to her if you can help it".

"No I won't, the love I have for her consumes me, and there will only ever be Ana" I say. "Thank you for being so honest with me Ray" I add, slightly stunned at what he has jus said.

Ray nods, "Can I ask you something personal?" he asks carefully

"Go on" I say warily

"Your birth mom died, what about your dad, did you ever know him?" he asks

I shake my head, "No, it was just my mom and me... and her pimp, he swore he had nothing to do with me when he was questioned after her death, DNA was taken to prove it and he was telling the truth, so I have no idea who he was" I stop

"What about that pimp, Annie told me you remember so much from your childhood and you have nightmares at times, would you know him if you saw him again now?" Ray looks closely at me.

"That bastards face is burned into my memory Ray, I would recognise him until the day I die, when Ana took me to Detroit to see my birth mothers grave, and got me admit that I loved her, we went to the neighbourhood where I was found and I was terrified I would see him again, I have no idea if he is alive or dead now but I'll never forget him" I stop and look down at my fishing rod and absently fiddle with it.

Ray watches me carefully, "I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to pry" he says gently and touches my arm.

"No its ok, actually, it felt good to tell you about it, it has let it go a little" I smile and I do feel a little bit liberated by talking about it with Ray.

"What else did you want to talk about?" Ray asks, "you said there were a few things?"

"Yes, we have another situation with regard to security, Elizabeth Morgan has been making a nuisance of herself, we are aware she is back in contact with Jack Hyde and she has tried to make contact with Ana and my sister".

"Annie told me about the situation with your sister, and the letter Jack sent which she delivered and got past security" Ray says

I nod "She was also seen hanging around the hospital when Ana was kept in after the car accident, she saw security and left but the fact she was there is worrying me, I have no idea what her deal is and why she is doing this, Hyde is in prison and will be staying there so why is she doing this?" I say

Ray thinks for a moment, "Why don't you ask her" he says simply

"I beg your pardon" I say incredulously

"Hear me out Christian, she is trying to make her point about something, confront her, allow her access in a controlled way, and confront her, if she is just trying to play mind games it will become apparent and if she has a real agenda and someone else is behind that agenda you will also know and it will help in steps to make sure that the person with the agenda is keep inside where he belongs...do you get my drift?!" He raises his eyebrows and stares at me.

My mind starts racing it all makes sense suddenly and I grin at Ray, "You are a genius Ray, that is a brilliant idea I will talk to Welch and see if we can come up with something, which doesn't put Ana at any risk and see if we can get to the bottom of this"

"It would be the sensible thing, you can't shield Ana from everything, you sometimes need to take risks and look at the bigger picture" Ray says

I nod, I am used to taking risks in my work, but the idea of putting Ana in any sort of danger fills me with terror, this will have to be coordinated well and comprehensively.

"Is that everything?" Ray asks

"Just one more thing, I heard you and Ana talking last night about my relationship with Teddy, I just wanted you to know I didn't do it on purpose, I wanted to show Ana that I loved him and wanted him and I wanted to be a hands on dad, but it seems I have gone a little too far, but I wanted to assure you I will make it right"

Ray slaps my shoulder, "I know you will, you are a good man and an exceptional father" he says.

I smile "Coming from you Ray that is the biggest complement I could receive" I say sincerely.

I feel happier now I have talked things over with Ray, he gives me perspective on things, and his quiet demeanour calms me and makes me see things clearly. Plus the fact he is my wife's father, which is what he is despite the fact he is not her biological father, he is the man who she thinks of as her dad, and as such that makes him my family, and I couldn't wish for a better father in law.

We head back without catching anything, but I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with Ray and I hope he has enjoyed himself too. When we arrive back, I go in search of Ana, I find Ana and Teddy in the back garden with Ryan and a ball. Teddy has the ball and is throwing it and looks like he is trying to hit Ryan and Ana and he is giggling loudly as he hurls the ball at Ryan and hits him on the leg.

I stroll over, "Aren't you supposed to dodge the ball?" I ask

"Daddy!" Teddy immediately runs to me.

"Get the ball buddy" I say to him pointing, he stops turns and fetches it, "play" he asks looking at me and then at Ray who has followed me.

"What are we playing?" I ask

"Dodge ball" Ana says with a giggle

"I see" I say with a slight frown, I turn to Teddy, "Ok buddy we will join your game" I say and Teddy beams at me and throws the ball and hits me on the arm, he cheers and immediately runs after the ball and throws it at Ray and gets him on the ankle. I look at Ana she looks tired, I walk over to her.

"Are you alright baby? " I ask anxiously

"Yes I'm fine, we have had a lovely morning, have you had a good time?" she touches my arm

"Yes I have I hope Ray did too" I say, I feel the ball hit my back and Teddy squeal with laughter again.

"What are the rules for this game?" I ask laughing as Ryan gets hit again.

"No rules sir, Teddy throws the ball and he hits you with it he is making it up as he goes along" Ryan says with a grin, "although he's not too keen when you actually dodge the ball" he adds.

"I'm not sure about this game for you baby" I say touching Ana's stomach

She shakes her head, "No its ok, its a soft ball and Teddy only aims for arms and legs and he has very good aim, plus he doesn't hurt he hasn't got the strength in his throw to cause any damage!"

"Ok" I say.

Carmella appears and Teddy immediately throws the ball down and runs to her, "Hungry" he shouts.

Carmella laughs, "well its a good job its lunch time then, its ready when you are sir" she says to me.

"Thank you" I reply and I turn to my son, "Come on, go with mommy and get washed ready for lunch" I say .

"daddy" he demands.

"No Teddy, go with mommy" I say firmly

Ana calls him and holds out her hand, he runs to her and takes her hand and I watch happily as they walk away into the house.

After a lively lunch, Ana goes for a lie down and Ray takes Teddy for a walk I go upstairs to Ana as I walk into the bedroom I see her sleeping peacefully, I am filled with so much love the words of the song which I found suddenly fill my head. I lie down with her and stroke her head, unconsciously I start humming along to the tune.

_Darlin' I know you're sleepin'_  
><em>But there's something I've just got to say<em>  
><em>Wonder if you'll hear me<em>  
><em>While you're dreamin'<em>  
><em>You make a lifetime<em>  
><em>Out of every day<em>  
><em>Thanks to you now I know<em>  
><em>All my dreams can come true<em>

_Blind faith in you..._

Ana stirs and turns to look at me, "Where's Teddy?" she asks

"It's ok, Ray took him out for a walk, Ryan went with them" I say soothingly as I continue to stroke her hair, she turns over and snuggles close to me and I bury my nose in her hair. I am careful not to catch her head.

"Do these stitches need removing?" I ask

She shakes her head, "No they will dissolve"

"I was so afraid when Taylor told me you had been in a car accident, I wouldn't believe it I didn't dare believe it in case ..."I stop I can't finish what I am saying and thinking and I pull her close to me.

"Hey, come on, it wasn't that bad, although I think I know how you felt ...when you were missing that time when Charlie Tango crashed I thought I'd never see you again and that was the worst time of my life" she says looking at me and touches my cheek gently.

"Worse than when I walked out on you when you told me you were pregnant?" I mutter

She nods at me "Yes, because I knew deep down you would come back at some point, you had to even if it was to tell me we were finished but then when you were missing I had no idea what had happened, if you were hurt or if I'd ever see you again"

I hold her and my mind goes back to that day...

"Ros how do you fancy seeing St Helens the no fly zone has been lifted do you fancy a look before we head back?"

"Sure, I'd love to see it" Ros looks at me her eyes shining.

"Ok hang on" I turn the helicopter and start descending, we fly over the volcano and Ros gasps at the scale of it.

"Wow Christian that is something, its breathtaking how something natural can be so awe inspiring" she has her eyes fixed on it as we circle it and then turn away "thank you for that it was amazing" she says

"You are welcome, come on lets head back" I am anxious to get back, Jose will be there and I really don't want to be away longer than necessary while he is alone with Ana. Suddenly lights start flashing on my control panel Ros looks at it.

"What's that?" she asks nervously

"I'm not sure" I reply, shit, that can't be right, both engines, "Hang on Ros, I'm going to have to make an emergency landing, I look around wildly, I am far too low to land safely, I see a suitable spot by Silver Lake, and start wondering how I am going to get us down without killing us. My only hope will be to handle it like I do my gilder and hope for the best. I see Ana's face as the ground comes up towards me, oh baby, please don't let me die, not like this I have just found the love of my life, my life has truly just started since I met Ana, it can't be over now just as I have found true happiness. I glance at Ros and see her gripping her seat, she is unusually still, I know she is petrified and I put the thought out of my head, I will get us down, I have to, we will survive this I need to see Ana again, baby I love you, the next moment we are on the ground, shit I did it, I feel like we have gone through it, the landing was that harsh but hey I'm alive. I look at Ros she looks shell shocked we are down, "You ok?" I ask her. She nods frantically but doesn't say a word. Thank god we did it. My mind clears and I quickly cut the engine and bark at Ros to get out. I grab the fire extinguisher and leap out to put out the fire. Ros is standing shaking violently just staring at me, I pull a blanket out and throw it at her, she wraps it around herself, and reaches into her purse and with shaking hands lights a cigarette.

When I get the fire out I reach for my Blackberry, no signal, but the GPS is still working, it will be a long walk, I glance at Ros's shoes, she is wearing heels, this will take us forever.

"Ok we need to get to the main road, I won't lie to you its quite a trek will you manage in those shoes?" I ask

Ros nods, "Don't worry about me, lets just get out of here" she answers bravely.

"Ok this way" I say glancing at the Blackberry.

All I can think of is getting home to Ana, I have survived what should have been a fatal crash and I must have survived for a reason, and that reason is Ana, I know it in my heart. I don't normally think this way but I can't help it, thinking of Ana gives me the strength to continue. Ros is struggling she stumbles and I grasp her hand, and haul her up.

"Thanks" she mutters.

"Do you need to rest?" I ask I am aware she isn't very fit, she smokes and she is wheezing and coughing. She shakes her head.

"No I just want to get out of here" she says firmly gasping between words.

Four hours later we finally reach the main road, Ros sighs with relief she pulls out her phone.

"My battery is dead" she says

"Wouldn't matter if it wasn't there is no coverage at Gifford" I glance at my Blackberry I have very little battery left, I glance at my watch, shit I need to get back.

"Ok Ros how much do you have on you?" I ask she fumbles in her purse and counts her money

"$277/78 give or take" she says

I glance in my wallet, "ok we have about $600 between us, that should be enough to bribe someone to drive us to Seattle, we are going to have to hitch are you ok with that?" I ask

Ros nods and pulls the blanket around her, we start to walk every time a vehicle passes we stop and stick out our hands I nearly collapse with relief as a battered haulage truck pulls over.

We rush up to the door and I wrench it open I look up into the face of the driver, he looks to be in his late 50's with kind eyes but I'm not taking any chances, I step in front of Ros.

"Hello sir, thank you for stopping" I say

"Where are you headed?" the man asks

"Seattle" I say holding my breath

"Well son its your lucky day, I'm headed up near that way, I can make a detour and drop you off in Seattle" he says.

I smile with relief, "Thank you so much, we will gladly reimburse you for your trouble" I say as I climb in and help Ros up into the cab.

The driver shakes his head, "No need for that, if you can't do someone a good turn there is something seriously wrong" He holds his hand out "Doug Jackson, Jackson Haulage"

I take his hand "Christian Grey" I say I see his eyes widen at my name as I introduce Ros.

"Scuse me for asking but are you _the_ Christian Grey?" Doug asks

I nod "I am, and I am very grateful for your help"

"How come you two are out here in the middle of nowhere?" he asks

I explain about the helicopter crash and how we had to trek for four hours to the road, he looks at Ros and then at me and smiles kindly.

"You must be starving" he nods back towards the duffel thrown behind in a makeshift bed, behind the seats. "You will find a box of food in that bag help yourselves"

I glance at Ros, she reaches for the duffel and pulls out a huge sandwich box.

"Are you sure?" she asks looking longingly at the neatly packed sandwiches in the box.

"Help yourself" he insists. "you will also find some bottles of water in there if you are thirsty"

I take a sandwich, and look at it, it is cheap white bread filled with cheese, but at this moment I really don't care.

"Thank you" I say gratefully

He smiles, "Probably not as fancy as what you are used to but I dare say at this moment it tastes just as good"

I nod as I take a bite, I glance at Ros who is practically falling asleep next to me, she rests her head on my shoulder, Doug, notices and pulls over, I get a twinge of panic. He jumps out and opens up the back, "Here if you want to sleep you will be more comfortable in here, its not much but you are welcome to it, and we will wake you when we hit Seattle.

Ros smiles gratefully and clambers into the back , she hands me the blanket I threw her from the plane as there is bedding in the back, she curls up and closes her eyes.

"She looks beat" Doug says as he climbs back into the cab and starts the engine.

I nod, "yes we walked for over 4 hours and she was in heels, I have no idea how she did it, she's not the fittest person in the world"

"I do have ears Christian, I'm not asleep yet" Ros's voice comes from behind the seats, I grin.

"Go to sleep" I command and Doug chuckles. "I don't suppose you have a cell phone I could borrow?" I ask suddenly.

Doug shakes his head, "No I have no need for one of those, I am a one man band and only myself to bother about, plus I couldn't afford one even if I wanted one" he says.

I stare at him, "Tell me a little about yourself, we have a long journey ahead of us?" I ask

He shrugs, "Not a lot to tell, I own Jackson Haulage, which is basically me and this old girl, I live in Portland and that's all"

"Are you married?" I ask

"Widowed" he says sadly

"I'm sorry" I say immediately

""No don't be, she was the love of my life, there was never anyone else after I laid eyes on my Josie, she was killed in a car crash, along with our two sons who were with her at the time, my whole family wiped out in one go, I felt like curling up and dying but I know Josie wouldn't have wanted that so I just threw myself into work and that's what I have done for the last 20 years".

I swallow deeply, and a silence falls over us all. Doug looks at me, "I have seen you in the papers and on TV you're not married are you?" he asks

I shake my head, "No but I have a girlfriend" I smile involuntarily at the thought of her, "She is the love of my life" I mutter.

"Christian" my mind comes back to the present, I look at Ana

"Hmm" I say absently

"What were you thinking about?" Ana asks looking at me.

"Just that day when Charlie Tango crashed how my mind was filled with surviving to just get home to you".

"Were you scared when you crashed?" she asks

I nod, "Yes, I tried to keep calm to stop Ros for getting panicked but all I could think of was you, I was scared that I would never see you again".

"Christian, everything is going to be alright isn't it?" she asks

I turn and look at her carefully, "What's wrong, what's bothering you?" I ask

"Leila and Elizabeth Morgan, for starters, what do they want from us, why can't people just leave us alone?"

I pull her close "Baby, no-one is going to hurt you, or our children, I won't let them, there will always be someone wanting to destroy what we have, but we are too strong, to let them, our love is the strongest thing we have and along with the resources we have at our disposal nobody will stand a chance".

"I love you Mr Grey" She says looking up at me.

I kiss her nose, "I know you do, and I love you too Mrs Grey...with every fibre of my being".

As we lie there I decide to bring up the idea Ray had about luring Elizabeth Morgan out to find out what her game was, Ana listens carefully and seems up for the idea with reservations, she obviously wanted to be sure that she would be safe and there would be no way that Teddy would be put in any danger. We talk and as we do so a sort of plan started to formulate which I promised I would run past Welch and Taylor when we got home to see if it was feasible.

The time away did us all good; my time with Ray cleared my mind and made me see things better. Ana was relaxed and it had done wonders for her relationship with Teddy, and I was ready to face the enemy as we arrived back in Seattle. Little did I know that we would face one of those enemies sooner than I anticipated.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

"Baby we are home" I whisper as I gently nudge Ana, she is curled up fast asleep next to me, Teddy is asleep in his car seat. Ray had been dropped off and we were now sitting in front of our home.

"Hmmm" she murmurs sleepily

Ryan opens the car door, "Could you take Teddy for me please" I whisper. Ryan nods and unclips the car seat and gently lifts Teddy out and carries him inside, I manoeuvre myself and lift Ana into my arms and prepare to carry her in. Gail meets us.

"Good Evening sir" she whispers, "Chris has taken Teddy straight to bed" she glances at Ana, "I am guessing Mrs Grey is heading in that direction too"

I nod "I need to speak to you in a moment" Gail nods and disappears into the kitchen as I carry Ana to our room, I gently lay her in the bed and undress her, I slip her under the covers and it is a testament to how exhausted she is, she doesn't even stir. I place a small kiss on her head and touch her small bump lovingly before I cover her up and quietly slip from the room.

I head into the kitchen, to see the entire security team assembled along with Gail. I stop dead. "What's happened?" I ask looking at their serious faces.

Prescott steps forward, "While you were in Aspen we had some mail from Jack Hyde arrive. We are not sure what to make of it to be honest sir, it is addressed to Mrs Grey and appears to be a complete apology for everything he did, asking for her forgiveness and hoping that he can make amends for the way he behaved, he goes on to warn about Elizabeth Morgan holding a grudge and being a danger, I have checked and it appears he will be coming up for parole in a couple of years or so, so it seems he has decided to set the groundwork now to make it appear he is remorseful of his actions and trying to make it look like he will not be a threat to you. Personally I think it is all a lie, and so does Luke especially when only a few weeks ago he was sending disgusting threatening letters to Mrs Grey".

"May I see it?" I ask

"I passed it on to Welch sir" Prescott says, I nod.

"Very well, it doesn't matter, anything else?" I ask

Sawyer stands up, "Leila has been hanging around as you and Mrs Grey weren't here I just kept up the pretence you were and every time I ventured out she drove off, she has also been seen hanging around Escala and Mr Steel's house again, she hasn't actually done anything though, which means we can't do anything, but she is becoming a cause for concern she seems to be getting more and more obvious, as though she doesn't care if she is caught or not, I have a feeling its not going to be long before she does something stupid"

Just as Sawyer says this we hear a smashing sound and all the alarms start ringing, the effect is immediate on Taylor and Sawyer they reach for their guns and disappear out of the room Prescott goes to the control room to see where the breach has occurred and Ryan heads straight to Teddy. I am frozen to the spot until I hear a piercing scream from upstairs, I don't hesitate and charge up the stairs and stop dead in the doorway of our bedroom as Ana is sitting now wide awake, petrified staring, with the covers pulled up to her chin, sitting crouched on the bed near the end is Leila with a huge carving knife in her hand. I sense Taylor and Sawyer behind me as I move slowly and carefully towards Ana. Leila is staring at Ana she is unnaturally still and she looks around at me.

"Leila" I snap, her head jerks up to mine.

She smirks "Yes master" she says but I can see she is not being submissive I am afraid she has lost her mind, I have no idea what to do, my hands fist and I start to tremble with a combination of fear and anger. There is a hard gleam in Leila's eyes not the vacant lost look she showed last time. Leila edges closer to Ana, crawling slowly up the bed, as she moves I move closer to Ana, and we both stop and stare at each other its like a stand off. Leila looks up at me straight in eye.

"What does she have that I don't, I love you better than she does, I could have given you children, she can't love you as much as I do, she has to go, I will love you, I will satisfy you, I..."

"Shut up" I snarl my anger is boiling over, I notice movement from the bathroom behind Leila and see two men quietly sneaking in with their fingers over their lips they silently slip in Leila is surrounded, but she doesn't notice as her attention is fixed on me.

I decide to keep her focussed on me as I move closer to Ana, "How can I possibly love you, you betrayed me" I spit at her.

Her face crumples briefly but then she stops and it hardens and she shakes her head "No I was declaring my love for you to the world telling them what we shared, she doesn't love you, she is no good for you, I understand you".

"ENOUGH" I bellow I lurch forward, losing my self control.

"Christian no" Ana screams and jumps forward to stop me, everything happens so quickly its almost a blur, Leila leaps forward her arm raised to stab Ana and I put myself in front of Ana, the two men leap on Leila and Taylor and Sawyer also leap on her. I feel a sharp pain in my arm and see the knife sticking out of my upper arm, Leila looks horrified that it is me she has stabbed and then starts screaming as she is dragged away and I sink to my knees.

"Christian" Ana gasps and wraps herself in the covers to hide her modesty and crouches beside me.

Taylor moves towards me, he lifts my arm up gently and examines it closely, "We need to get you to a hospital sir" he says calmly.

I turn to Ana, "Are you alright baby?" I stammer I visually check her over, "Did she hurt you?" I ask, wincing at the pain coming from my arm.

Ana shakes her head she is deathly white, "let me get dressed" she says in a firm voice we all leave and it only seems like moments later, we are all downstairs the police have arrived and so have medics and an ambulance and Leila is wailing at me to forgive her.

"Please forgive me master I love you I would never intentionally hurt you, it was a mistake you got in the way, why did you get in the way? It was her I wanted please for give me, I love you"

"Never" I snap at her.

As the police go to take her away, she screams "it was her, I meant to get her, it should have been her she needs to go so we can be together I didn't mean to hurt you, I love you"

Ana closes her eyes and Gail goes to her and wraps her arm around her and whispers in her ear. I don't hear what Gail says but Ana gets up and goes with Gail into the kitchen.

My attention is drawn to the medic, "Excuse me Mr Grey, we are going to have to get you to hospital to remove this knife and stop any bleeding and internal damage which it has caused"

I nod, I am taken outside and into the ambulance, Taylor follows just as I am climbing in, I hear a voice.

"Wait" Ana comes running out and clambers into the ambulance, "If you think you are going without me you have another think coming" she says firmly and grasps my hand tightly.

"Ana, you should stay here" I say gently, but she shakes her head firmly.

When we arrive at the hospital Ana stays with me while the knife is removed and tests are done to check for internal damage and then the wound is cleaned and I am stitched up and bandaged, I am told I was incredibly lucky and that the knife missed everything important in my arm. I insist on Ana getting checked over by Dr Green while we are here and I sigh with relief as she gives her the all clear.

As we leave Taylor stands and tells us Leila has been sent to a secure psychiatric facility. Sawyer is waiting outside with the car, his plaster caste arm shining bright in the darkness. He moves to the passenger seat as Taylor goes to drive, Ana and I sit in the back I wrap my good arm around her tightly, "I'm so sorry baby" I whisper to her.

"Hush" she says, "None of this is your fault" she says firmly.

When we get home Ana rings Ray, as somehow news has reached the media and there are reporters waiting outside the gate. I call Sam and prepare a statement to be released to the press, painting Leila as a deranged obsessive and stating that I hope she gets the treatment she needs. When I finish up the call I go in search of Ana.

"Ok baby?" I say when I find her, she is sitting on the sofa looking bewildered.

I see her lip tremble and I immediately sit down beside her and pull her close as I touch her she crumbles and turns her face to my chest and sobs bitterly. It shreds me to see her so upset, but I say nothing I just hold her and rock her gently , this breakdown is long overdue with everything that has been happening recently, and I pull her into my lap and hold her tightly and let her cry it out of her system. Every time she sobs her body shudders and I hold her to me desperate to take away her pain and distress.

I don't know how long we sit there, but I don't care, I will sit here all night if I have to. Eventually her crying subsides and she lifts her head up and looks at me her eyes are red and puffy, but she still looks so beautiful to me. I kiss her gently on the lips and she sighs deeply.

"Better?" I ask

She nods, "I just want to go to bed now" she mutters and I stand and we head off to bed together. She checks on Teddy before she goes to our room, he is sleeping peacefully oblivious to everything that has happened this evening, and for that I am thankful.

As we go to head into our room Taylor stops me.

"Sir" he says, I turn, and Ana slips from beside me and heads into our room.

"Yes" I say

"Just to bring you up to speed sir, the window Miss Williams broke to gain entry has been made secure, and arrangements have been made for repair tomorrow, as soon as she did that, the USO's tailing her sent out a code red and followed her in, there were four altogether two who had been posted on Miss Williams and two who had also just arrived to shadow Mrs Grey, they split up and went in search of Miss Williams, when Mrs Grey screamed two of the USO's were in the room adjoining the master bedroom's bathroom and used the air duct to enter the bathroom which is where they came from to apprehend Miss Williams. As I told you at the hospital, Miss Williams is now at a secure state psychiatric facility under close observation I doubt she will pose any further threat to you or Mrs Grey." He stops and looks at me.

"Thank you Taylor and would you pass on my gratitude to the entire team Leila has proved once again what a difficult person she is and at least now she is safely out of the way".

"Yes sir, just one more thing, are you intending to press charges on this occasion?" he asks

I nod adamantly, "yes, I am I gave her the benefit of the doubt last time, and she threw it back in my face, I want the book thrown at her this time"

"Yes sir" Taylor says and turns to leave, I head into the bedroom and get myself ready for bed just as I am climbing into bed my Blackberry rings, fucking hell now what? I clamber out and pick it up and answer it, it is my father.

"Christian, are you alright?" his anxious voice comes to me

"Hi dad, yes I'm fine," I say

"Donald Treacher just called me and told me that that girl who exposed you to the press broke into your house tonight and tried to stab Ana and that she stabbed you is this right what the hell is going on Christian?"

"I'm fine dad, yes all that is true, she had become obsessed with Ana since the news broke about my lifestyle and she didn't come out of it looking brilliant, she had this notion that she needed to get rid of Ana and I would go back to her, she is completely unhinged, there was a scuffle and she managed to stab me in the arm, but I'm fine, no real damage done, Ana is unhurt and Leila has been taken away", I pause then ask "is Donald representing her because I am pressing charges?"

"Yes" my father says, but don't worry he won't be putting too much effort into it, he realises he is on to a loser, with all the evidence and what she said at the scene, in front of so many witnesses about wanting Ana out of the way, so he is going for a plea bargain, which will benefit everyone, and hopefully keep that girl locked up and out of the way for her own safety as well as yours, she is in no fit state to stand trial anyway".

"Thanks dad" I say "keep me posted" I add.

"I will Christian, I'm just glad you are ok, your mother is frantic, and I said I would call and find out what happened"

"Is mom there?" I ask

"No she is on a night shift at the hospital, they are short staffed in paediatrics and she volunteered, she heard through the hospital grapevine that you and Ana had been brought in but she was dealing with an emergency and couldn't leave, when she called me I had already heard from Don and I told her what he had told me, she called me back a few moments ago saying she had managed to get a moment to go down to ER and that she had heard that you had both been discharged and she wanted me to call you to find out what was happening as she had to go back to her patients".

"Ok, just tell mom I'm fine and I will call her tomorrow" I say

"Alright, I will, goodnight Christian"

"Good night dad" I say and I kill the call. I sigh and head into our room, Ana has fallen asleep and I climb into bed beside her and wrap my arm around her and snuggle closely to her.

_Two months later..._

I am sitting in my office, and the events of the past month have been going through my mind, Leila has been sent to a closed secure psychiatric unit and for all I care she can rot in there. It is a huge relief to know she is out of our hair for good, I sometimes wonder if I should have taken that approach before, rather than try and help her, it would have saved us a lot of heartache had I done so, but having said that, my former lifestyle coming to light has actually been a blessing in disguise I no longer feel trapped by my past as there is nothing to fear any more, as everything is out there, the only real skeleton left in my closet is Elena and I really don't think she would say anything as she has her reputation to consider and revealing that she seduced a minor into a BDSM lifestyle wouldn't do that reputation any favours at all. I do feel a little uncomfortable at times, that I have gone from intensely private jealously guarding my privacy to someone who the entire world knows practically everything about. But the positives outweigh the negative by a long way.

Elizabeth Morgan has been unnaturally quiet for the past couple of months, we have the plan in place to allow her access to Ana to find out what her deal is, I was reluctant to proceed at first after what happened with Leila but Ana insisted that she wanted to, but since then nothing has been seen or heard of her, I hope it stays that way as well. Welch has the letter from Hyde supposedly apologising I don't believe it for one moment, he is getting his ducks in a row to try and help his parole chances, and starting now to make it look more genuine.

Ana is now eight months pregnant, we have been spending quite a bit of time lately at Escala in our playroom, it was Ana's idea, she wanted to spice things up a little before the baby arrived. Her libido has been out of control recently and I am only too happy to oblige her. I am still adamant that she is to have a scheduled C Section we still haven't decided on a name yet, I spotted one which I liked and I need to run it past Ana.

Its Friday and I can't wait until the weekend, Taylor is having the weekend off as Sophie is coming over and spending time with him, she has grown into a lovely girl. I am hoping to spend my time with Ana and Teddy. I am meeting Ana tonight at Escala and I feel myself getting hard just thinking about it. I do still like dabbling in the kinky fuckery, with Ana, but that is all it is, I know there are certain things Ana won't do and never will and that is absolutely fine with me, but a little spice here and there amongst the vanilla with her is always welcome. The rest of the day passes swiftly and as I head to Escala I am feeling ready to play with my beautiful wife. As Taylor pulls into the garage area I am practically humming with desire. I head up in the elevator willing it to go faster. As I enter the apartment it seems quiet and empty and I smile I know where Ana is, I go to our old bedroom and quickly shower and change into my old battered frayed jeans I leave the top button undone and I head to the playroom.

As I open the door my eyes fall on Ana kneeling behind it her head down, and her hands on her lap just in her panties, her huge swollen stomach looks so beautiful. She is kneeling on a cushion I smile it must be uncomfortable for her at this stage in her pregnancy to sit like that, and I walk towards her and hold out my hand, "Look at me" I say

Immediately her head lifts up and she gazes at me with smiling eyes, she grasps my hands and I haul her to her feet she is a little unsteady and I hold her until she is stable. "Ok?" I ask, she nods at me.

"Yes sir" she mutters, the way she says that sends little shivers through me.

I lead her over to the grid and she grins at me, I watch her carefully as I lift up her arms and tether her to the grid, I caress her swollen stomach and whisper in her ear, "tell me to stop and I will stop" I am anxious I don't want to hurt her or the baby.

She nods her head. I slip a blindfold over her eyes and she moans.

"Answer me" I demand

"Yes sir, if I want you to stop I just say stop" she says staring straight into my eyes.

"Good girl" I mutter.

I head over to the wall I pick up the flogger I hesitate as I'm not sure about this, but Ana told me she wanted this the other night, she said she wanted it, so I decide to go with it. I walk up behind her and gently touch her nipples as I do so a long groan comes from her and they instantly harden as I touch them, I smile, I gently run the flogger down her back and she stills.

"I have the flogger in my hand" I say, "You told me you wanted it" I add

"Yes" she moans

I pinch her nipple, "yes what?" I ask

"Yes sir" she moans.

I quickly slap the flogger across her behind and she shudders, "Ok?" I ask

"Yes again please sir" she says

I swing it again and I get excited as I see her behind glowing a light pink. But I am conscious of not getting too lost in the moment, I rub her behind and move my hands across her stomach and then move to her breasts I place my lips on her breast and gently bite and she gasps.

I swing the flogger a few more times, and then gently run it over her bump,

"Have you had enough yet Ana?" I ask her

"Oh Please" she begs she is pulling against the restraints.

I snap the flogger across her behind one more time a little harder, "Please what?" I ask

"Please sir" she gasps, I rub my hand over her behind which is now a bright pink and then gently move south and slip my fingers into her, she is so wet.

"Mrs Grey" I gently pull on her earlobe and then whisper, "you're so ready", I drop the flogger to the floor and gently push my fingers in and out, and my other hand caresses her bump and then moves up to her breasts, I am breathing heavily and Ana moans at my touch.

"Hush" I murmur and as I run my thumb over her nipple she moans again.

"Ah" she says and tilts her head back and pushes her breast into my hand.

I am so aroused it hurts I love to hear Ana when she gets like this what it does to me is indescribable.

"I like to hear you" I say to her and push my cock into her back so she can feel how excited her sounds make me, "Shall I make you come like this?" I ask teasing her.

"No" she answers

I smile and tease her some more, "Really Mrs Grey is it up to you?" I ask sternly and I tighten my fingers around her nipple

Immediately she mutters, "No...no sir" I smile again

"That's better" I croon in her ear,

She begs me and I move closer to her, "what do you want Anastasia?"

"You ...always" she breathes.

I inhale sharply and close my eyes those words sing though my mind

"All of you" she adds breathlessly

I pull my fingers out of her and remove the blind fold I give her my fingers and gently let her suck on them so she can taste her arousal.

"Suck" I command and she does so, letting her tongue swirl around my fingers. I free her from the grid and turn her around to face me and plant kisses on her throat. "I want in your mouth" I whisper, she kisses me hard on the lips and I try and tug her against me but its hard with her pregnant belly but oh so erotic, she runs her fingers down my body planting soft kisses all down my throat and chest she runs her tongue through my chest hair and I shiver and to my jeans which she slowly unfastens I watch her , I am panting, coming apart in her hands, I watch as she pulls me free taking my cock in her hands and I moan as she takes me in her mouth, I grasp her head, she has her eyes closed.

"Open your eyes and look at me" I say, as she does so I start thrusting my hips gently pushing my cock to the back of her throat, as she reaches to grab me with her hands I stop her.

"Don't touch or I'll cuff you again, I just want your mouth" she puts her hands behind her back and gazes up at me, "Good girl" I whisper, I am slowly and surely coming undone, I mutter some more things as I flex my hips. I am going to come and I don't want to not yet.

"Ah stop I say and pull out of her, I grasp her shoulders and pull her to me feel kissing her wildly and then I lift her on to the four poster bed and lay her down gently.

"Wrap your legs around my waist" I say and slowly and gently I ease into her, I am desperate for her but I don't want to hurt her.

"Ok?" I ask looking at her carefully

"Oh god Christian yes, yes please" she begs, and I slowly start to move I want to thrust harder but I am too afraid of hurting her, being too rough she speaks again.

"Christian please, harder, I won't break"

I groan, and let myself go, I start to move really move and I feel I am so close.

"Yes" she breathes and it nearly sends me over the edge

"Come on Ana" I groan through gritted teeth and she obediently explodes around me and calls out my name and it sends me over the edge and I climax violently inside her calling her name.

I gently pull out of her and collapse on the bed beside her, pulling her to me, I caress her bump.

"How's my daughter?" I ask

Ana giggles and tells me she is dancing, I feel the baby moving under my hand.

"Wow, I can feel her" I whisper it never ceases to amaze me when I feel our babies moving inside Ana I was the same with Teddy. I watch the ripples over her stomach as I see the baby move.

"I think she likes sex already" Ana giggles

I still, and frown, icy fear piercing through me, I know Ana is joking but talk like that gets to me. I quickly try and lighten the atmosphere.

"Really" I say and I move my lips to her bump, "there will be none of that until you are thirty young lady" I say

Ana giggles again, and calls me a hypocrite

"No I'm an anxious father" I retort, I can't get the fear out of my mind that some day some man is going to want to do to my baby girl what I do to her mother, and I just can't get my head around that fact.

"You're a wonderful father" Ana says gently as she touches my face, "As I knew you would be".

I smile at her, she has more faith in me than I ever will. I change the subject .

"I like this" I say stroking and kissing her belly, "there's more of you" I don't say that I love her like this because it is like a neon sign on her saying Christian Grey was here, and it tells the world she is totally mine.

She pouts at me, "I don't like more of me" she says sulkily

"Its great when you come" I add

She looks shocked, "Christian" she splutters

I tease her some more, "and I am looking forward to the taste of breast milk again" I say

Ana goes bright red "Christian you are a kinky ..."

I stop her mid sentence and kiss her hard. "You love the kinky fuckery" I whisper into her mouth and run my nose against hers.

She grins at me, "Yes I love the kinky fuckery...and I love you – very much"

I groan again and kiss her deeply, my hand resting on her bump.

oooOOOooo

We have had a wonderful weekend, we have decided on a name for the baby Phoebe, I chose it after seeing it in a book and loving it, we are going to call her Phoebe Carla, I can't think why Ana wants to give her, her mothers name as her second name but I go along with it as I chose Phoebe. Carla really doesn't deserve the love Ana reserves for her the way she treated and continues to treat her, but that is an opinion I keep to myself. I am just happy Ana has such a good relationship with my mother, I'd hate it if she thought of Grace the way I feel about Carla.

Ana is scheduled to have her C Section in two weeks time I can't wait, I much prefer it this way, I know exactly when it is going to happen and everything is accounted for and controlled. I know Ana isn't totally happy about it and only agreeing to please me, she is desperate to give birth naturally and I feel a little bad for denying her that right, but I really can't face going through what I went through when she had Teddy.

We are sitting in the hospital, it is Ana's final appointment with Dr Green before she comes in next week to have the C Section. I am sitting waiting with her as usual, I haven't missed a single appointment, and I have loved attending every single one. I really want more children, but Ana isn't so keen now, now we know that we are having a girl we will have one of each and Ana seems happy with that, I am hoping to change her mind but I suppose she is the one who has to carry them and if she says enough is enough then so be it.

Dr Green calls us in, she stares at Ana carefully, I watch her reaction, but don't say anything, but I can tell she thinks something isn't right.

"Ana are you feeling alright?" Dr Green asks carefully

Ana nods, "I have a bit of a headache but nothing major" she replies.

I look at Ana carefully and notice her face is a little flushed, I look from Ana to Dr Green, and wait, I am desperate to say something but keep my mouth shut, Dr Green is the expert on these matters.

She quickly takes Ana's blood pressure and frowns, and asks Ana for a pee sample, as Ana leaves the room I lean forward and ask what the matter is.

"What's wrong?" I ask staring intently at Dr Green.

"I am a little concerned about Mrs Grey's blood pressure, it is rather high and the fact she has a headache and is a little flushed makes me even more concerned. I am considering bringing forward the C Section. Ana returns and hands the sample to Dr Green who tests it.

She smiles, "Everything ok there, let me look at your hands and feet Ana" she says.

She frowns as she sees Ana's swollen ankles and fingers. "Mrs Grey I am concerned that your blood pressure is rather high and you are showing symptoms consistent with a condition called Pre Eclampsia which is highly dangerous and could prove fatal to you and the baby, I would like to re schedule your C Section, how would you feel about that?" She looks at Ana carefully

Ana looks at me and then puts her hand protectively on her stomach, "When?" she stammers

"Today" Dr Green says firmly, "I would admit you now and alter my scheduled C Sections to fit you in how do you feel about that?" I close my eyes praying Ana says yes, I lean towards her and grip her hand tightly willing her to say yes.

"Ok" she whispers

I exhale and almost sag with relief, ""Don't worry baby I will stay with you and get Taylor to organise your things" I reach for my phone and call Andrea, as soon as she answers I jump in "Andrea, I'm at the hospital with Ana, she is having the baby today clear my schedule and get Ros to call me if she needs anything" .

"Yes Sir" Andrea says in her usual efficient manner, I hang up and text Taylor, who immediately knocks on the door and enters. "Taylor, Mrs Grey is being admitted now for a C Section today, can you go home and arrange her things to be brought to the hospital, ask Gail to watch Teddy for us Ryan will help her, I want Sawyer here, with you" I stop.

Taylor nods, "Yes Sir" he says and turns to leave.

I turn to Ana, "Shall I call Hannah for you?" I ask, she nods at me, she hasn't said anything since giving her consent, and Dr Green is watching her carefully.

I call Hannah, "Ana Grey's office Hannah King speaking"

"Hannah, Christian Grey"

"Oh hello Mr Grey what can I do for you?" she answers

"Hannah, can you clear Mrs Grey's schedule she has been admitted to hospital today to have the baby" I say

"Yes certainly sir, I can do that, she was winding down anyway this week so there isn't anything which can't be handled by others or postponed, congratulations, and please pass on my best wishes to Mrs Grey" Hannah says

"Thank you Hannah I will" I say and I kill the call.

Ana looks at me, I smile at her, "All sorted Hannah sends her best wishes" I say. Ana nods.

Dr Green leads us to a private room and Ana sits on the bed looking bewildered and lost. I sit beside her, "Baby what's wrong, talk to me?" I ask

Ana shakes her head, "its just all moving so quickly, I was expecting to come in next week, now its been moved to today, I am having a C Section which I realise I have to have, but isn't what I wanted none of it, I feel everything is being taken out of my hands" she stops, I sigh, I know exactly how she feels, she feels out of control. I pull her to me and hold her tightly.

"I know baby, but if you and the baby are at risk you need to follow advice" I say gently.

She nods, "I know" she says, she rests her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes.

I don't know how long we sit there, when Taylor arrives, he knocks and enters with Ana's case which she packed ready to come into hospital.

"I have your things Mrs Grey" he says as he puts the case on the bed.

"Baby do you want to check you have everything you need if not Taylor can go and fetch things for you?" I ask

Ana quickly goes through the case and we establish she hasn't packed anything for the baby in this case, she tells Taylor that there should be a separate holdall full of baby thing she apologises for not mentioning it before and for putting him out and she looks worried.

Taylor smiles kindly at Ana "It's no trouble Mrs Grey" he says and turns to leave. I stand up.

"I'll be back in a moment baby" I say as I follow Taylor from the room.

When we are outside, I see Sawyer who immediately stands up.

"Taylor sorry to send you back again, that was my fault I helped Ana pack that bag I should have mentioned it"

"No problem sir" he says, he pauses, "Excuse me sir, may I speak freely?"

I nod

"Is Mrs Grey alright, she seems a little...deflated" he stops.

I nod, "Yes she is a little thrown off by being admitted today, and having the C Section brought forward".

Taylor nods and leaves, Sawyer looks at me, I turn to him, "Keep your eyes open Sawyer, with Elizabeth Morgan still on the loose I wanted plenty of security here – just in case"

He nods, "Yes sir" he says and sits down right outside Ana's door. I turn and go back inside, Ana has changed into her nightshirt and has climbed into the bed. I sit down beside her and hold her hand, she smiles at me.

"I'm sorry for being so miserable" she says bravely

"No baby, never" I say firmly and kiss her hand.

She looks at me and sighs, "I feel such a failure, I just wish I could have a baby naturally, its supposedly the most normal thing for a woman to do and yet this is the second time I have failed to do it"

I pull her into my arms, "Come here, I won't have you talking like this, how can you say you are a failure, when you gave me our beautiful son, and you are about to give me a daughter", I place my hand on her stomach "how we get the baby out of you is irrelevant, the fact you have made and nurtured two children who were both made with our love is the most amazing thing in the world, there is no way you are a failure, you are the most amazing woman in the world".

Ana smiles at me and leans her head on my shoulder, "You say the nicest things" she mutters.

"And they are all true" I say adamantly

There is a knock at the door and Dr Green breezes in.

"Alright Mrs Grey, Mr Grey, we are ready now, shall we?" she says. A nurse arrives with scrubs for me to put on and I quickly head to a side room to change. I am back in seconds and Dr Green smiles and we head to theatre.

It is so relaxed compared to last time, I watch as the epidural is administered and everything is explained, I grip Ana's hand as the screen is erected in front of us again, and before we know it, Dr Green speaks to Ana.

"Mrs Grey can you feel this?" she asks

"No" Ana says

"Right lets go" Dr Green says, the whole atmosphere is so laid back, I sit patiently and wait, Ana looks at me tears in her eyes, I stroke her forehead.

"You are doing so well baby" I say and plant a small kiss on her forehead.

"I'm not doing anything" Ana answers bitterly

"Baby you have kept my daughter safe inside you for nearly nine months and you are going through major surgery to bring her into the world, you are amazing" I say

I can't bear it any longer and stand and look over the screen to see Dr Green pulling our daughter from Ana's stomach.

"There we go, Mrs Grey you have a beautiful daughter" Dr Green says

I watch as Dr Green gives instructions efficiently and everything necessary is done, I step forward and Dr Green hands me some surgical scissors to cut the cord, my hands tremble as I do so. I stare at my daughter and my eyes follow her as Dr Green hands her over to a nurse and delivers the afterbirth.

"Can I see her?" Ana asks

I move away towards the nurse who is sucking out fluid from the baby's mouth, and wrapping her, she is crying loudly.

"There is nothing wrong with those lungs" I mutter as I stare down at my daughter, who is wriggling angrily. I watch as she is wrapped and placed gently into my arms,

"Congratulations Mr Grey, she is a good weight, had she gone full term she would have been huge"

"How much did she weigh?" I ask

"7lb 5oz" a nurse announces.

I take our daughter over to Ana, I have tears streaming down my cheeks and I sit and place the baby in Ana's arms, "here you go Mrs Grey" I say.

Ana starts to cry, "Oh my god Christian she is beautiful, she looks just like you" she says.

It is totally a different procedure to when Ana had the last C Section, she isn't exhausted from the hours of labour and when she is cleaned up and stitched up we return to the private room, As we head out of the theatre, Taylor is waiting, he stands and walks over, and looks down at the little wriggling girl in Ana's arms.

"Congratulations" he says smiling at Ana

"Thank you Taylor" Ana says

"Congratulations Sir" he says to me and I shake his hand warmly.

I am feeling a little wiped, when I woke up this morning I never expected that a few hours later I would be a father again. It dawns on me I should call the grandparents and Elliot and Mia. When we get to the room, Sawyer is waiting and he stands and walks over to Ana and peers into the bundle, he smiles widely.

"Congratulations Mrs Grey" he says, he looks at me "Congratulations sir" he adds.

He looks down again at the baby in Ana's arms, "She is beautiful Mrs Grey" he says.

Ana's eyes shine with tears again.

We are in our private room, I know we are safe as Taylor and Sawyer are both outside. I sit and watch as Ana feeds the baby, I pull out my phone and start making calls.

I call my mother first, "Mom" I say as she picks up

"Christian darling how are you?" she says

"Mom where are you, are you at the hospital?" I ask

"Yes darling I am on my break at the moment, what's wrong?" she immediately sounds worried.

"Nothing mom, I was wondering if you wanted to come over and meet your new grand daughter?" I pull the phone away from my ear as my mother squeals and then the line goes dead.

"Mom are you there?" I ask I am met with silence, I roll my eyes, and look at Ana who is grinning at me.

"I'm guessing that means she is on her way" Ana says, I shake my head and call my dad, he is pleased and says he will come over later as he is just on his way to court.

Next I call Ray, "Hi Ray it's Christian" I say as he picks up

"Christian, how are you, good to hear from you, how's Annie?" he asks

"We are all good thanks Ray, I'm just ringing to let you know Ana had the baby today, about half an hour or so ago, little girl, she's beautiful and they are both good"

I am met with silence, when Ray eventually speaks he asks "Did she go into labour naturally?"

"No, she had a section, it was brought forward from next week as her blood pressure was a little high and Dr Green thought it best to deliver today, but all is well and both Ana and the baby are doing well"

"Oh ok, well that's good to know, thank you for letting me know" Ray sounds worried despite the fact I have told him everything is good.

"Would you like me to send Taylor to fetch you to see the baby?" I ask kindly

"Would you, I would appreciate that" he says

"No problem at all I'll send him now" I say

"Thank you Christian, I'd better get myself ready" he says

I call Elliot and his reaction makes me laugh, he tells me that having a daughter is scary and that it changes the way you look at everything, I know this already, but the way he says it makes me laugh as he sounds so disgusted that he thinks differently about sex and women now he has a daughter.

I call Mia and predictably she starts asking questions and not pausing for breath to let me answer she squeals loudly and giggles a lot, I tell her calm down many times but she just doesn't seem to listen, I smile I love Mia dearly, I look up and see my mother entering the room, she ignores me completely and makes a bee line for Ana and the baby, Ana hands Phoebe over to my mother and she unwraps her and gently examines her.

"Listen Mia I have to go" I say and hang up before she can protest."Good to see you too mom" I say with my eyebrows raises.

My mother beams at me, "Oh Christian stop it" she says "you have a perfect, beautiful little girl" she says and wraps her up gently and holds her in her arms. I watch her and once again I feel for her that she never got to have this moment herself, none of us were newborns when she and my dad adopted us and I once again feel guilt for the fact that I refused to let her hold me until quite recently.

She turns to Ana, "do your parents know?" she asks.

Ana looks at me, "Christian has called Ray, and Taylor is going to fetch him" I stand quickly and slip out of the room to ask Taylor to go and fetch Ray and then return. Ana looks at me "have you called my mom?" she asks.

I shake my head "No not yet, I'm just about to" I say.

My mother nods and hands Phoebe back to Ana, she walks over to me and hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek "I'd better get back" she says.

I kiss her cheek, "Bye mom" I say and she leaves looking back at Ana and smiling. I watch Ana's reaction to my mom as she leaves, and it makes me smile.

With a sigh I pick up my phone and call Carla.

"Hello" Carla's voice comes to me over the line.

"Hello Carla its Christian" I say, "I am calling to let you know Ana had the baby, about half an hour or so ago, its a little girl and we have called her Phoebe Carla" I stop.

"Oh hello Christian, thank you for telling me" she says.

I wait for her to say more, ask how her daughter is, ask if the baby is alright, anything. Eventually she realises this and asks "is Ana alright?"

"Yes" I say, "she had a C section but everything is alright and both she and the baby are doing well" I say.

"Oh good, well I'd better get on" she says

"Would you like to speak to Ana?" I ask hoping to galvanise some emotion into her.

"No that's fine, I need to get on, thanks for calling and telling me" she says and then she hangs up. I stare at the phone, and look at Ana she looks at me.

"She's not interested is she?" Ana says sadly

"No baby it's not that, she was on her way out to an appointment we caught her at a bad time" I lie

Ana shakes her head, and I am guessing she know that I was lying.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Ana is quiet and I sit beside her, I know her mothers indifference has upset her, she knows I was lying when I said she was on her way out and couldn't talk. I am sick of this, Carla always upsetting Ana and treating her as an after thought, Ray told me to not get involved and just pick up the pieces when Carla behaved badly but I can't stand by and watch her hurt Ana over and over again.

"Christian do you want to hold your daughter?" Ana pulls me from my brooding; I smile and take my daughter from her, as I look down at her sleeping peaceful face tears form in my eyes. My beautiful baby girl, the surge of protective love streaks through me just as it did when I held Teddy, but something is different this time, it is tinged with fear and anxiety, this little baby girl will grow into a young woman and it will be my job to protect her, protect her from men who want to use and abuse her...men like me.

"Christian stop it" Ana says, she is looking at me, I turn and see the look on her face, "You are a wonderful father" she says.

I open my mouth to speak when there is a knock at the door and it slowly opens as Ray pokes his head around the door, he has a small bunch of flowers in his hand, I see Ana's face light up at the sight of her stepfather.

"Daddy" she cries and holds out her arms to him, he strides in and goes to her and hugs her awkwardly, he hands her the flowers which she admires and sniffs. He turns to me and I carefully free an arm from around my daughter and extend my hand in greeting and warmly shake his, as he takes my hand he looks down at Phoebe in my arms.

"She's a little cracker" he says with a smile.

"Would you like to hold her?" I ask

Ray nods and sits down beside me and I gently lift Phoebe into his arms, she opens her eyes, "Phoebe this is your grandfather" I say quietly.

"Hello Phoebe" Ray says as he gazes down at her the love in his eyes moves me and I recall how he told me he held Ana and took care of her as a baby, and I can imagine him back at that time holding Ana how he is holding Phoebe now. I am so thankful that Ana had someone as solid and steady as Ray in her life and it is his influence that has made her the woman she is, the woman I fell in love with.

I take the flowers from the bed and rest them on the cupboard, they need a vase, I poke my head out the door and ask Taylor to find something to put flowers in, he nods and turns away. I return inside and watch Ana and Ray talking.

"I'll leave you two alone for a moment" I say seeing them together makes me determined to do something about Carla, I don't care if its the right thing to do or not I have to do it, I can't stand by any longer.

Ana looks up and nods, "Ok don't go too far though" she says with a smile.

"I won't" I say and I leave the room. Sawyer stands as soon as he sees me.

"It's alright" I say, "I am going to do something I should have done a long while ago" Sawyer nods I see Taylor approaching with water jug.

"Will this do sir?" he asks.

"Perfect" I say, "Taylor I am going to make a phone call will you come with me to make sure I'm not disturbed?" I ask.

He nods and hands the jug to Sawyer who takes it in to Ana.

We find a small room and I go inside and shut the door, Taylor stands guard outside while I pull out my phone, I take a deep breath and brace myself for the conversation to come.

"Hello" I hear Carla's voice and I stiffen, the anger rising in me, I close my eyes and try to hang on to my self control, if I start shouting she will just hang up I have to do this right.

"Carla it's Christian again" I say

"Oh hello again, what's wrong?" she asks

"Would you like me to send my jet down to Georgia to fetch you and Bob to come and see Ana and the baby?" I ask

There is a silence on the line, "There's no need" she says eventually.

There it is, that is the opening I need, "I thought you'd say that, personally I think there is every need, you have neglected your daughter from day one, considering your own needs before hers, she is the most beautiful person in the world and she loves you dearly, why I have no idea because you are the most selfish woman I have ever met in my life, you put your needs before Ana's every time. What is wrong with you? Are you jealous that your daughter has made such a success of her life, finding a man she loves and is happy with, are you that petty to be jealous of your daughter Carla, jealous rather than proud of what she has accomplished, that she has made more of her short life so far than you ever will?" I spit the words out with such bile I fear that she will hang up. I stop and get a grip on my temper.

"You know nothing about me" Carla says bitterly.

"You would be surprised what I know" I retort, "I know you blamed Ana for her birth father dying, you rejected her and if it hadn't of been for Ray she would have been taken away from you, I know that you have put your latest man before Ana every time, Ray raised her and made her the woman she is today, you missed every important milestone in her life, you weren't even at her graduation from University for gods sake, your daughter graduated with a degree, she is a smart beautiful woman and you just continue to reject her and pretend she doesn't exist when she interferes with what you want to do, you left the man who she considered her father destroying her security and went off with someone who turned your head and something happened there Carla something which still haunts Ana to this day, and believe me some day she will tell me about it – she will tell me when she is ready, and then you moved on to Bob. What kind of woman does something like that? You are jealous of Ana's relationship with my mother but what you fail to realise is that is down to you if you had been any sort of mother she wouldn't have bonded so completely with mine, Grace fulfilled a need which Ana had which you refused to acknowledge and fill. You are jealous of Ana's relationship with Ray, he has been more of a parent to her than you have been and ever will be, its not all about you Carla, your daughter is crying out for her mother and all you do is continually push her away, I am sick of seeing you hurt her, Ana is my wife and I promised on our wedding day to keep her safe at my side, I would be failing in that duty if I continue to allow you to hurt her, so, I am giving you an ultimatum Carla, you have to decide what is important in your life, you put Ana first and make amends for your lack of parental responsibility and concern all her life and I will assist you to see Ana as often as you like, but I swear if you continue to hurt Ana and reject her I won't stand by quietly and let you do it, I will never stop Ana from wanting to see you, but I will withdraw my assistance for you to see her, I suggest you think carefully and decide what is important in your life Carla" I hang up before she has chance to say anything. I am not sure whether or not I have done the right thing, but it's done now. I open the door and see Taylor.

"All done sir?" he asks

I nod without a word and return to Ana.

As I walk in Ray looks closely at me, he hands Phoebe back to Ana and stands, after giving Ana a small kiss on the cheek and pat on the shoulder, he turns to me.

"Can you show where the men's room is son?" he asks looking hard at me.

I nod silently and open the door, "I'll be back in a moment" I say to Ana and she smiles up at me.

When we are outside Ray turns and look's at me, "Ok son, what's happened?" he asks

"Carla" I mutter

Ray rolls his eyes, "What's she done now?" he asks

I quickly outline the call to Ray and Carla's indifference to the news and how upset Ana was. Ray shakes his head.

"Well just remember what I told you" he says patting my arm.

"Well ...I did, but" I begin, Ray looks at me closely.

"Christian? What have you done son?" he asks calmly, he leads me to a couple of seats and sits me down, I feel uncomfortable now I am wondering if I did the right thing or not, my gut tells me I did, but I am second guessing myself. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees and clasp my hands together in front of me and begin to talk, I tell Ray how I called Carla back and laid into her, and the ultimatum I gave her. He shakes his head.

"Oh Christian, I admire you for trying, I've done much the same thing many times over the years but it will do no good, all she will do is twist everything you have said and call Ana in tears and make you out to be the bad guy, you need to get your ass back in there and tell Ana what you have just told me, and tell her why you did it". He stands up, "Thank you for sending Jason to fetch me, I know you love Annie dearly but Carla is never going to change her ways and I think deep down Annie knows that too and she has accepted it in her own way".

I stand up, "I'm sorry Ray, I just ...she made me...oh I don't know, I thought I was doing the right thing" I say

Ray smiles, "I know son, I've been there" he says and pats my arm, "I'd best be getting back anyway now, I'll go and say goodbye to Annie and if Jason would be so kind as to run me home?" he asks

"Of course Ray" I say and I follow him back to Ana's room.

I watch as Ray says his goodbyes to Ana and leaves as he does so I sit down beside her on her bed and gaze down at Phoebe who is in the crib beside the bed sleeping peacefully.

"What's going on?" Ana asks me

I look carefully at her, and sigh, "I did something I'm not sure whether or not I am proud of now" I say quietly.

"What?" she asks looking worried.

"I called Carla again and told her what I thought of her and I gave her an ultimatum that if she didn't pull her finger out and start acting like a proper mother to you she could forget getting any assistance from me to come and see you in the future, I told her I would facilitate you seeing her if that is what you wanted and I wouldn't stand in your way to see her but not the other way around" I stop and look for Ana's reaction.

She sighs and grasps my hand, and rubs my arm. Leaning her head on my shoulder she plants a small kiss on it "Thank you" she says, "I know she isn't the best mom in the world, I've always known that but she is the only mom I have and I love her"

I wrap my arm around her, "I know baby, that is why I won't stop you from seeing her, if you want to go and see her the jet is at your disposal you know that but I won't stand by any longer and watch her continually treat you like an afterthought, I know how much it hurts you when she does that, so I refuse to put myself and our resources out for her when she won't make any effort".

Ana nods, "Is that what you were talking with Ray about?" she asks

I slowly nod, "How did you know?" I say

She grins at me, "Christian, Ray asked you to show him where the bathroom was, you were gone ages the bathroom is right outside - I'm not stupid!"

I smile at her and kiss her, "No you're not you are brilliant, wonderful and a credit to the way Ray brought you up, Carla should be proud to have a daughter like you".

Two days later we are home and we are settling into our routine. Ana is amazing she is so patient with Teddy wanting to help, and basically getting in the way, I watch her as she shows him how she is bathing Phoebe; Teddy is besotted with his baby sister as I watch them I think of his visit at the hospital with Ryan. Ana had, had a nap and then asked to see Teddy so I called Taylor to pick up Teddy and Ryan on his way from dropping Ray off.

As we are waiting for the little tornado to arrive Phoebe starts to grizzle, she is much smaller than Teddy was, and so she is feeding more often, I am concerned that she will wear Ana out the way she is constantly demanding to be fed, but Ana assures me this is normal.

Ana has just finished feeding and settling Phoebe down when the door bursts open and Teddy charges in. He heads straight to the crib and peers in.

"Baby" he says he touches her head gently

I lift him on to the bed beside Ana, and she hugs him tightly, "This is your new baby sister, Teddy her name is Phoebe"

Teddy nods, "My fee-bee" he says carefully.

"That's right" Ana says, "Do you like her? She is very little and you have to be careful with her" Teddy nods.

"Hug her?" he asks

Ana nods, "You can hold her but you have to be very gentle and careful" she says. Ana looks up at me and I gently lift Phoebe and place her in Teddy's waiting arms, Ana wraps her arm around them both and I quickly whip out my phone and take some photographs, I forgot my camera today, but my phone will do to capture the moment, I get a couple of beautiful shots of Phoebe lying peacefully in Teddy's arms and both Ana and Teddy staring down at her.

"Pretty" Teddy says and touches Phoebe's face. He looks up at me, "All done now" he says and I grin at him and lift Phoebe from his arms, he turns and wraps himself around Ana and snuggles close to her.

"Earth to Christian!" I jump and see Ana staring at me.

"Sorry baby did you say something?" I say bringing myself back from my thoughts.

Ana giggles, "yes I asked for a towel, Teddy can't reach it" she says nodding to the towel on top of the sink unit, I stride over and hand it to her and watch as she wraps Phoebe up in it and explains to Teddy about drying her. She looks up at me, "You are not still brooding about what you said to my mom, are you?" she asks frowning at me.

I had told Ana I had called Carla and given her a piece of my mind, I had skirted around exactly what I said as I had promised Ray I would never let Ana know the extent to which her mother rejected her as a baby. But I told her enough to know she would probably get a phone call at some point from Carla berating me.

"No, why has she called you?" I ask, as I watch Teddy disappear out of the room towards his bedroom.

"No not yet" Ana sighs, "I'm glad you did it Christian, she had it coming, she's had it coming for years, I should have said something before now but..." she stops and looks down at Phoebe wriggling in the towel and tears start to pour down her cheeks, in a second I am beside her, I scoop up Phoebe in the towel and wrap my spare arm around Ana and lead her into our room, I sit her down on our bed while I quickly dress Phoebe and place her in the crib beside our bed, and then turn to Ana, she is lying down and is staring at Phoebe in the crib. I lay on the bed behind her and wrap my arm around her.

"Talk to me baby" I say gently

"I'm fine" she says, and turns towards me, she wraps her arms around me, "I just can't believe how she can be...you know, now I am a mother myself I would never treat Teddy and Phoebe the way my mother has treated me over the years, I know she doesn't mean it but ...I guess she is just selfish" she rests her head against my chest. I press a small kiss in her hair.

As we lie there I hear Ana's phone ringing, I reach over and grasp it and glance at it and grimace.

"Your mom" I say Ana sits up carefully and takes the phone from me she looks up at me, "do you want me to stay?" I ask, she nods and grips my hand tightly. She answers the call putting it on speaker.

"Hi mom" Ana says brightly

"Hello Ana, is...your husband there?" I hear the way Carla spits out the words and I shake my head, she has jumped straight in and its all about her as usual, not a thought to how Ana is or asking her if she is ok, or a thought about Phoebe and Teddy.

"Yes mom he is" Ana says firmly and looks at me as she says so, gripping my hand.

"Oh, figures" comes the reply.

"Why?" Ana urges, she wants to hear what her mother has to say.

"Did he tell you he called me?" she asks

"Yes of course he did" Ana replies

There is a silence and then Carla starts to rant, "Well what are you going to say about that? Are you going to say anything, he accused me of rejecting you and not being good mother, I did my best for you Ana I married Ray for gods sake, I would never have married him if it hadn't been for you, everything I have done is because of you" she stops Ana is looking shell shocked and I am ready to grab the phone but Ana stops me and when she speaks her voice is hard and cold.

"Well thank you mom for being so honest with me, you have finally told me that I not only ruined your life but Ray's as well, well I can assure you I won't ruin it any more, I have my own family now, and I am going to be the best mother I can be to my children, and I have the best role models to help me, I have Grace Trevelyan Grey and I have you, Grace shows me how a real mother should behave and treat her children, and you...you show me how a mother should never behave, goodbye mom" she says.

"Ana how can you compare your own mother to a woman who adopted her children?" Carla is screaming now, I am ready snatch the phone, nobody speaks about my mother like that, but Ana looks at me and assures me with her gaze she has this, I stand and start pacing.

"How dare you" Ana spits, "I can compare you very easily - Grace is a selfless kind hearted amazing person and just because she was unable to have children personally, does not mean she is any less of a mother, she is a wonderful person and a superb mother to Christian, Elliot and Mia, she is more of a real mother than you will ever be and have ever been, I will not have you speaking of her like that, she has never been anything other than kind and generous to you" Ana is trembling with fury.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that, I'm upset, I love you" Carla is whining now and I shake my head in disgust, but one look at Ana and I can see she is having none of it.

"You have a funny way of showing it" Ana spits, "You have never been there for me, when I was growing up it was always Ray who did everything from as young as I can remember he cared for me and attended school functions and everything, When I won the young reader competition in elementary school and Ray was there to see me get my certificate, where were you mom? When I broke my arm when I fell off my bike and he took me to the emergency room and sat with me and comforted me where were you mom? He came to my high school graduation, where were you? He came to my university graduation where were you? When I had that accident when I fell and knocked myself out and I was in hospital he was the one who sat by my bedside when I came round. Where were you? When I had my son and had to have an emergency caesarean and when I had my daughter Ray was one of the first people who came to visit, where were you? My entire life mom, WHERE WERE YOU?" Ana is panting with emotion and fighting to hold back tears.

"He's turned you against me, he controls you Ana, he wants to keep you to himself, he said I couldn't see you" Carla snarls and I can't stand it any more I reach for Ana's phone but she puts out her arm and pushes me away shaking her head and then she grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly.

"No mom, you turned you against me, Christian loves me, he protects me and if I said I wanted to come and see you he would move heaven and earth to get me to you, but I don't want to mom, because why should I make an effort to come and see you? You have had Christians resources available to you to come and see me since we met, it wouldn't cost you a dime but you still can't be bothered, I know Christian has offered many times to fly you here and you have refused and yes he told me he has withdrawn his resources now, for you - he won't make it easy for you any more to see me but remember this mom, if I wanted to see you I could be on his plane within an hour he would do that for me, but why should I mom, my priority are my children and so I am staying right here with them and my husband".

"He's brainwashed you" Carla says

Ana shakes her head, "Goodbye mom, I have always been an afterthought in your life, I was unplanned I get that, but you have made me feel like a mistake all my life, my son was unplanned but there is no way he will EVER feel unwanted or a mistake, he will know only love and support of his parents, my children are a priority not an inconvenience". She kills the call and collapses into my arms weeping.

"Oh baby" I say I can't think of anything else, so I cradle her in my arms until she falls asleep. I hear my phone ringing and ease myself away and reach for it, I see it is Carla, I put it down again and let it go to voicemail. A while later it rings again, I look and see Ray's name, I pick it up and answer it.

"Hi Ray" I say

"What the hell have you done?" he says

"Nothing why?" I say, although I have a pretty good idea of what this is about, I leave the room and head for my study.

Ray sighs, "I have had Carla on the phone, ranting and crying, she is hysterical, saying you have poisoned Ana against her, she said you called her and told her she couldn't see Ana or the baby, and that now Ana has said the same thing what the hell is going on?"

"Oh shit, sorry Ray, you should never have been dragged into this" I say, I pour myself a glass of bourbon and toss it back, I quickly assure Ray that I would never come between Ana and her mother, and then I tell him what she said to Ana tonight and how Ana responded. "She was so cut up Ray, she is sleeping now but it was horrible" I stop as the door opens and I see Ana in the doorway.

"Do you want to speak to her Ray she is here now, she has woken up?" I say not taking my eyes from Ana .

"Yes please Christian" I hold out my phone to Ana

"Ray" I say to her.

She takes it from me and curls up on the sofa near my desk "Daddy?" she says with a quiver in her voice.

I hear her telling Ray what Carla said and how she is fed up with her and she tells him what she said.

"I'm not sorry and I won't apologise" she says stubbornly, "I'm sorry she dragged you into it though" she adds.

I hear her listening to Ray, "Yes of course you can, wait" she turns to me "Christian can we go and see Ray tomorrow?"

I nod, "Of course we can baby, whatever you want" I say without hesitation, "Do you want to see him tonight, I can send Taylor to fetch him over now if you want to?" I want to make a statement that my resources are still at Ray's disposal even if I have cut Carla off.

"Did you hear that?" Ana asks, she turns to me and nods her eyes shining, it's amazing what the thought of seeing Ray does for her well being and I smile, I stand and call Taylor. The door opens and he pokes his head around.

"Sir?" he asks

"I know it's getting late, but can you go to Ray and pick him up and bring him here?" I ask

Taylor nods and disappears. "Jason is on his way" Ana says, I smile she always calls Taylor Jason to Ray as he refuses to call him anything other than Jason.

About half an hour later Ray arrives, he walks in and I shake his hand warmly.

"Ray good to see you it's been a hell of an evening" I say

"Christian can I talk to you privately for a moment?" Ray answers, Ana looks at him and frowns.

"Dad, Christian hasn't done anything wrong, mom was upsetting me at the hospital and he just told her a few home truths and she has totally over reacted" Ana looks at Ray her eyes flashing and Ray smiles.

"Its ok Annie, I just want a quick word about something else first then I will sit and talk with you about your mom ok?" Ray says soothingly

"Oh ok" Ana replies and with that Ray follows me to my study.

"What can I do for you Ray?" I ask as I close the door, I have a feeling Ray wants to tear me a new one and what he said to Ana was just an excuse.

"Did you tell her?" he asks looking hard at me

"Tell who what?" I ask

"Annie, did you tell her what I told you about her mother?" he asks

"Of course I didn't Ray, for gods sake who the hell do you think I am, I gave you my word, she will never hear it from me, it would destroy her" I am pissed that he even thought I would.

"Ok son, I'm sorry, it's just what has happened that's all"

I am still pissed, "You need to speak to your ex wife if you want to chew anyone out, she actually told Ana she only married you because of her and not in a good way, she threw it in her face Ray it was vile, she said I did my best for you Ana I married Ray for gods sake, I would never have married him if it hadn't been for you, everything I have done is because of you and that is a direct quote word for word, she said because of you, not for you, because of you". I stare at Ray and his mouth is hanging open in shock. He sinks on to the sofa and goes deathly white, I lift up the bottle of bourbon and raise my eyebrows in question he nods and I hand him a large glass full, he tosses it back with a shaking hand.

"That fucking bitch" he says I am shocked I have never heard Ray swear or show so much emotion about anything.

"I'm sorry Ray I should never have told you..." I begin now feeling really shitty about what I said.

Ray raises his hand, "No son, thank you I needed to know, I'm sorry I doubted you" he says.

"That's fine" I say warily, "what you told me will stay between you and me" I stop as the door flies open.

"No it won't you will tell me now Christian" Ana is standing there with tears rolling down her cheeks, she looks at Ray who stands.

"Annie please, you don't want to know trust me sweetheart you don't want to know" he is pleading with her. She raises her hand.

"No I want to know, I need to know" she says

Ray straightens up, "Then in that case I need to be the one to tell you Annie, Christian gave me his word that he would never tell you what I told him and I was the one who was there I will tell you if you really want to know, but I don't want to destroy your relationship with your mother, I never have and if I tell you it may do just that". He sits down as if his legs have given way.

Ana sits down on the sofa next to Ray, and touches his arm, "Please daddy tell me I need to know" I stand up.

"I'll leave you two alone" I mumble and head towards the door. I am stopped by Ana she reaches for me grasping my arm.

"No please Christian if this is as bad as you say I will need you too" she looks up at me, I nod and pull a chair over and sit myself down and take Ana's hand in both of mine, I glance at Ray who takes a deep breath and reaches for Ana's other hand.

"There is no easy way to tell you this Annie, your mom didn't want you, when your real father died she was in a bad way and she rejected you, she blamed you for his death but you have to realise Annie none of this is your fault none of it, Carla was old enough to make her own decisions, she was the one who opened her legs and got herself pregnant, she was the one who made all the decisions you are not to blame for any of it...and as for me, well I knew what I was doing, when I saw you in the hospital and how she had totally ignored you and how worried the staff were, they were so close to calling child protection services, so I stepped in, your real dad was my buddy see, I made the decision to take care of you, so I knew that Carla was part of the deal so I married her, and that was my decision sweetheart, and I did it because I wanted you, I wanted to take care of you, and to protect you, you are not to blame for any of that, you were a helpless little baby who only wanted someone to love and care for her and I stepped up and I willingly took that job and it was the best decision I have ever made".

Ana looks terrible, she has just heard that her mother didn't want her, I wrap my arm around her but she doesn't move or respond, she looks at Ray. "Oh daddy" she says eventually and throws herself at him, I carefully remove myself from the room and leave them alone.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

I am hovering over Ana but trying to look as though I'm not, she is totally wiped out about the revelations about her mother last night, I watch her as she wanders around the room.

"Are you ok baby?" I ask warily.

She nods, then goes upstairs and comes down with her purse and her coat, she strides into the security office and I hear her talking to Sawyer moments later she comes out and Sawyer is following her with a frown on his face, she walks up to me and touches my arm.

"I'm going out for a bit, you will be ok with the children won't you?" she looks at me

I desperately want to say no but I nod, I am worried. "Where are you going?" I ask

"I am going to make a cake, so I need some ingredients" she says airily

"Ok" I say as she goes to leave I touch Sawyers arm, "Watch her " I say and Sawyer nods.

"Keep Sawyer close baby, Elizabeth Morgan is still out there and we don't know what she wants yet so please be careful" I call as she goes out of the room, she turns and smiles.

"I will" she says and then leaves.

I want to change Phoebe's middle name, I want to change it to Phoebe Grace, when Ana gets back I will approach her about that. I spend a productive time playing with Teddy, Ana fed and changed Phoebe before she left, and she is lying on her mat with us kicking and cooing at the baby gym over her. Teddy loved this when he was a baby so we kept it for Phoebe. Ana insisted when I wanted to buy a new one saying that was ridiculous. As I sit on the floor with Teddy as he plays with his cars I am going over the events of the previous night, I know Ana is hurting now more than she has ever done before and I need to be there for her, as I think this Taylor knocks and enters.

"Tay yer" Teddy screeches as he lays eyes on him and he runs to him he grasps his hand "Tay yer play?" he asks.

Taylor smiles at him and crouches down to him, "Not just now, I need to talk to your dad ok?" he says, Teddy nods and goes back to his cars. I look at Taylor, "What's wrong?" I ask fear immediately settling in my gut.

"May we talk privately Sir?" he asks, I immediately stand nodding.

I turn to my son, "I will be just over here ok buddy?" I say, I step outside the door, but keep the door open so I can keep one eye on my children. I turn to Taylor with my eyebrows raised.

"Sawyer has just informed me that Mrs Grey is a little upset Sir and he is bringing her home"

"Why?" I ask but I know the answer before he tells me.

"Mrs Adams called her while she was out shopping" he says grimly, "it wasn't pretty and I'm afraid there may be evidence of the conversation being uploaded on to the internet, I think we may need to launch some damage control, before the press get wind of this and sends someone in Georgia to speak to Mrs Adams".

Shit, this is the last thing Ana needs right now, I pull my Blackberry from my pocket and call Welch, I quickly outline the situation and am comforted by the fact both Sawyer and Taylor have already made him aware and he is on it, he tells me he immediately called Barney and he has a team now searching the internet for uploaded footage of the situation, and removing it. I sigh with relief, I know Barney won't let me down, as I think this I notice I have a call waiting, I wrap up the call with Welch take it and its Barney.

"Barney talk to me" I say sharply

"Just to let you know sir we have a team of 12 on this situation, so far 204 phone uploads have been posted on various sites but we have removed them and we will stay on this as long as it takes, but I have kept one of better quality copies for you to see sir...permission to speak freely sir?"

"Go on" I say

"It's pretty damned heartbreaking stuff, Mrs Grey is really upset and although I don't know her that well she really isn't herself on this, that and the fact she has just had a baby this can't be good for her, you know how women get the baby blues after the birth and stuff, my sister had baby blues, real bad this can't be doing anything good for Mrs Grey, so I'll do my part to make sure those parasites in the press don't get their dirty hands on it".

I close my eyes, "Thank you Barney, I appreciate you telling me, get that footage to me ASAP"

"Already done Sir, I have made it as clear as I possibly can and magnified the sound quality and it has just been emailed to you"

"Thank you Barney" I say and hang up. I turn to Taylor who is still waiting, "Find Gail to sit with my children for a few minutes" as I say this I see her walking out of our room with a laundry basket.

"Gail" I shout, she immediately comes towards us smiling. "Please would you mind just sitting with my children for a few moments I won't be long, something has come up which needs my attention and Mrs Grey isn't back yet" I try not betray my panic but Gail knows me better than that she takes a shot look at Taylor and drops the laundry basket and enters my children's play room. I go to my study and pull out my laptop, sitting it on my desk I call up the email which Barney has sent.

I see my wife standing in a small up market grocery store with a shopping basket, I roll my eyes why do people think this is worth recording, she is shopping for gods sake, is that really worth invading my wife's privacy, she is buying ingredients for a cake I see them in the basket and an involuntary smile crosses my lips, I see Sawyer tailing her his eyes darting everywhere. Then I see her reaching for her phone and looking at the screen she closes her eyes and answers, pulling herself up and lifting her head, that's right baby you have nothing to be ashamed of its her fault none of this is your fault. I hear her tell Carla they have nothing to say to each other and pride surges through me, I hear her tell her that she knows everything she knows that she was never wanted and if it hadn't been for Ray she would have ended up with Child Services, then she bursts into tears and shouts... no screams at the phone, the words she says next cut through me as they are so firm and clear "STOP BLAMING CHRISTIAN" she goes on and I am riveted to the screen, Sawyer is on the phone he is obviously calling Taylor and he is trying to lead my wife away but she isn't having anything of it she is so caught up in her call.

I hear her voice, "he didn't tell me, he promised Ray he wouldn't, he knew everything but he didn't say anything because he was protecting me and you, he didn't want to come between us mom, and he didn't want to destroy me, but you did that last night mom with what you said to me...stop mom and listen to me, Ray told me mom, after you rang him he came over and laid into Christian thinking he had told me, I overheard their conversation I wanted to know what they were talking about and so he told me, he told me everything, and it has destroyed me mom" she hangs up and her knees give way, Sawyer grabs her and hastily pulls her away. She is weeping and it is killing me, I need to get to her, I call Sawyer.

"Luke I know everything I have seen the footage, where are you talk to me?"

"Sir, we are just about 2 minutes away, Mrs Grey is asleep in the back of the car sir she has cried herself to sleep, excuse me sir when you say footage what are you talking about, I told Taylor there were people videoing her on their phones its not on the internet already is it? I'm sorry sir I should have stopped them but my propriety was getting Mrs Grey out of there, I called Taylor and then I called Welch I think he has spoken to Barney, sir"

"Don't panic Sawyer, Barney sent the footage, he has a team on it, you did what you had to do"

"Sir, there was another reason I wanted to get Mrs Grey out of there quickly, I saw Elizabeth Morgan, Mrs Grey didn't see her but I spotted her watching us just as Mrs Grey's phone rang, I will brief T as soon as we get back".

"Thank you Sawyer" I say and hang up, I return to my laptop and watch the footage again concentrating on Sawyer this time and I see his reaction as he looks at somewhere to his left and it is after that he tries to manoeuvre Ana away. I hear voices and I shut the screen on my laptop and head out. I see Ana going up to the children and I follow, as I walk in Ana is talking to Gail, she turns as I walk in, her hair is a mess and she looks a little unfocussed which she would be as Sawyer said she was asleep in the car.

"Christian" she gasps and runs to me.

I fold her into my arms and hold her tightly, Gail discreetly removes herself from the room, taking Teddy with her.

"Talk to me baby, tell me what happened" I say gently, I lead her into the bedroom and glance into the crib, Phoebe is fast asleep, Gail must have brought her in here, I sit on the bed gently pulling Ana on to my lap.

"Mom phoned me" she says, "Luke tried to get me in private and I made a bit of a show of myself, I'm so sorry Christian, I will probably be all over the internet, as people were taking photo's and stuff on their phones , I have totally embarrassed you by making a public spectacle of myself, I am so sorry"

I pull her tightly to me and hold her "Baby don't worry about it" I say gently, "Tell me what your mom said" I add.

"Just accused you of poisoning me against her, when I told her I knew how she treated me she thought you had told me, she was shocked when I said it was Ray, I told her Ray had told you and you had promised him you wouldn't say anything, then Sawyer just took me out of there, we went out the back and the store manager was so nice he gave me a cup of tea and while I got myself together he got a girl to bag up my things I paid for them and we came home".

I nod making a mental note to call the manager and thank him.

"I'm so sorry Christian she just got to me" Ana mumbles and buries her head into my chest.

I decide not to bring up the subject of Phoebe's name as Ana is so upset I just sit and hold her to me. My phone rings and I reach for it, I see it's Carla and I send it straight to voicemail. A moment later it rings again, I frown, what is that woman's problem? I switch my phone off. A few moments later Taylor knocks and enters.

"Excuse me sir I have Mrs Adams on the phone she is erm anxious to speak to you she says it's important and urgent and she asked me to tell you she is sorry for everything"

I sigh as Taylor holds out his phone to me, it must be urgent if she has called Taylor, she has never bothered him before she has never phoned me before either come to think of it, it has always been me calling her.

"Carla" I say sharply

"Christian, I want to tell you I am sorry, I was wrong about you, I have been a terrible mother"

"I won't disagree with you, but why the sudden change of heart Carla?" I ask

"I need your help, Christian, we have reporters outside the house, my conversation with Ana earlier, she was out at the time and someone has uploaded it on to the internet and now the press want me to comment, I can't tell them what I did to Ana, Bob told me to call you, to apologise and to make it good, so here I am and I am truly sorry Christian"

I shake my head, Carla is a loose canon and I can tell she is agitated about the reporters, I will help her for Ana's sake because if she says something stupid it could make things ten times worse, I knew it would get out there as soon as Ana had the public meltdown despite Barney's best efforts. I rub my fingers across my eyes and think.

"Give me some time Carla and let me see what I can do" I say eventually

"Thank you" comes the relieved response; I hang up and call Welch. As I explain the situation, he tells me he will call in a favour with the police chief in Georgia and he tells me it would be probably best to bring her to Seattle, I grimace at the prospect, but needs must. I call Stephan and get the jet on standby, I turn to Taylor and I realise I am still using his phone. I hang up and ask Taylor if he would go to Georgia and baby-sit Carla and Bob he doesn't look too enthusiastic about it but nods. Ana looks carefully at him.

"I am so sorry Taylor, this is all my fault" she says

Taylor shakes his head, "No it's not Mrs Grey, you are not to blame for any of this". He turns and leaves.

I call Carla back, "Carla, listen carefully, and don't speak, my security chief is calling in a favour with the police chief in Georgia and hopefully something can be done with the press camped outside your home, I am sending my jet with Taylor to get you, so pack a case and you and Bob are coming to Seattle, no arguments, Taylor will call you when the jet lands in Georgia, he will be leaving Seattle within the next couple of hours. You are coming here to my home, I expect you to behave in a respectful manner to Ana, myself, my staff and my children. You will use the time you are here to make things right with your daughter, I do not want to see my wife so broken up it kills me to see her so hurt. Do you understand me?"

"Yes" comes the muted response.

"Oh and Carla, this is your final chance, last chance saloon, you fuck this up you are gone, on your own, I will issue a press statement to the effect that you and Ana are estranged and we have no responsibility or comment to make with regard to you. Do you understand me, the only reason you are coming here now is because I love my wife more than anything in the world, anyone else would not have had half the chances I have given you, am I making myself clear?"

"Yes...and thank you Christian, I appreciate it, Bob wants to speak to you"

"Ok, and you are welcome" I reply and wait, a moment later I hear Bob's voice on the line.

"Christian, I just want to thank you for taking care of this, Carla knows she did wrong, I have chewed her out for what she said to Ana last night, it was unacceptable, I don't know what gets into her some times but she does love Ana she really does, she just has a funny way of showing it"

"Thank you Bob I appreciate that" I say, I am looking at Ana who is watching and listening to what's happening. Suddenly she turns to the crib and I realise Phoebe is crying, she sits and carefully lifts Phoebe to her breast I watch as I wrap up the call with Bob. Then I sit down next to Ana and put my arm around her and gently stroke Phoebe's head with my other hand.

"Thank you" Ana says as she looks at me, I smile down at her and plant a small kiss on her nose.

"No problem baby, I will do anything for you, you know that" I say, I remember about Elizabeth Morgan and I realise I need to tell Ana about it. "Ana, erm, you how Sawyer tried to get you out of the store quickly today" I stop, Ana blushes and nods she is clearly embarrassed about her public meltdown.

I ignore the embarrassment and continue, "There was another reason for him doing that baby, as well as to get you in private, he spotted Elizabeth Morgan she was in the store watching you".

Ana gasps and her hand flies to her throat, I hold her tightly to me, "But don't worry about that now, let's concentrate on your mothers visit".

We are awaiting the arrival of Carla and Bob. Ana seems to be pleased that I arranged for her to come here, even though it is going against what I said that I would not offer her any more help. I can't help but think I am enabling her behaviour with Ana, but on the other hand this needs to be sorted once and for all and face to face not over the phone where one of us can hang up. Ana called Ray and he is adamant he wants to be present while Carla is here so I sent Sawyer to fetch him. To show how determined he was he arrived with a small over night bag vowing to stay put until Carla was out of here. I will never forget the look of relief on Ana's face when he said this, and the look of pride and love on Ray's. I just hope that this won't degenerate into a slanging match of epic proportions.

It's really late when I get the call from Taylor to say they have landed at SeaTac Ana is in bed asleep and Ray has also long since gone to bed. I wander around waiting for them to arrive. Gail offered to stay up and wait but I refused, I didn't want to give Carla anything she could throw at me. I hear movement upstairs and the distant sounds of a baby crying, Phoebe must have woken for a feed, I smile at the thought and head upstairs, I walk in on Ana feeding Phoebe she looks tired and sleepy, I crouch in front of her.

"Our daughter is hungry again?" I ask with a grin

Ana nods, "She obviously takes after you, she eats like a horse" she looks at me "Mom and Bob not arrived yet?" she asks wearily

I shake my head, and gently move her hair from her face "No, won't be long though, Taylor just called from SeaTac they have just landed, there won't be much traffic at this time of the morning" I glance at my watch its nearly 3.30am "When you have finished with Phoebe go back to bed, get your sleep you can see your mom in the morning" I say.

Ana nods, "Thank you, I really don't want to see her now, I'm not really sure if I want to see her at all, but I suppose we need to finish this one way or the other".

I watch as Phoebe finishes feeding, and Ana gently pats her to bring up the wind. She gently lays her in her crib and crawls back into bed, I look longingly at the space beside her and for a while I lie down with her and gently stroke her hair but I know I am putting off the inevitable and ease back out of bed and head back downstairs, as I do so I hear the ping of the gate alarm which tells me they have arrived and sure enough a few moments later headlights appear coming up the driveway. Taylor opens the front door and the look he gives me says it all, I am going to give that man a bonus he deserves it being trapped on a plane with her. Bob walks in carrying a small case and holds his hand out to me.

"Good to see you again – this is some place" I realise Bob hasn't been here before, the last time he came was for our wedding and we were at Escala then.

"Hello Bob good to see you too, and thank you, I will give you the tour at a more sociable hour do you need a drink or anything?" I ask hoping that they say they just want to go to bed.

"No I think we will just turn in if that's ok, although we are 3 hours in front of you on Georgia time I am feeling a little tired". I nod with a smile.

"Your room is ready for you both, I'll show you to it and you can get settled in" Bob nods gratefully. Carla is standing behind him with her head down as Bob moves she looks up straight into my face, and she looks uncomfortable.

"Thank you Christian" she says, "is Ana asleep?" she asks

I nod, "Yes with a newborn she has to sleep when Phoebe does, she is nursing herself so I can't even help out with the feeds" she doesn't say anything but nods at me, I realise she rejected Ana and Ray cared for all her needs so what I just said probably hit a nerve, well good I hope it did. I show them to the room which is the other side of the house to Ray and us, I was surprised when Ana picked it out for them.

I wish them goodnight and head to bed I see Taylor lurking around waiting for me outside our bedroom.

"Sir, the police dept came through and cleared the area making some excuse about obstruction of the highway. There were a few paps at the airport but I managed to dodge them, there were some at SeaTac and a few at the main gate so I don't think this is going to go away any time soon but she is better here where we can keep an eye on her, she is one loose canon, she shouted that she was going to see Ana as we left the house when someone asked her where she was going, despite the fact I told her to keep her damn mouth shut, Bob told her to shut her mouth, it was quite funny actually that is practically all he has said to her the whole flight over, every time she started to try and talk and make conversation he told her to shut her mouth, so I am guessing husband number 4 is on his way out". I look horrified.

"Well she needn't think she is coming here to live if that happens, she can stand on her own two feet and fend for herself" I say firmly. I look at Taylor's grim face, "Thanks for doing this, I know it couldn't have been pleasant for you".

Taylor smiles and shakes his head, "That's the understatement of the year, I'm off to bed" he says and turns to go. I quietly go into our room, take a sneaky peek at my daughter and climb into bed beside Ana I wrap my arm around her and slowly drift off to sleep.

I awaken and the sun is streaming through the curtains, I glance at my clock it is nearly 9:30 I groan and roll over to find the bed empty, I sit up and see the crib is also empty. I sigh and get up and head for the shower, when I come out I dress and wander downstairs, as I walk into the family room I look around Bob and Carla are sitting on opposite sides of the room there is no sign of Ray or Ana, Bob nods at me as I go into the kitchen and see Ray with a grim look on his face holding a mug of tea and beside him is Ana holding our daughter, Teddy is sitting at the table tucking into Pancakes, oblivious of the obvious standoff in the house, which I am thankful for I don't want my children subjected to any of this. I walk over and kiss Ana's head, she looks up at me and smiles.

"Morning baby" I whisper as I stroke Phoebe's head and plant a small kiss on her.

I nod at Ray, "Morning Ray" I say, he nods but says nothing.

Gail is giving me a meaningful look and I know she wants to say something so I wander into the laundry room and Gail follows brightly asking me what I would like for breakfast.

"Mr Grey I'm sorry if I am speaking out of turn here, but what the hell is that woman doing here? It was awful this morning, she saw Ray, and if it hadn't been for her husband and the fact Teddy was present it would have got really ugly, she glared at Mrs Grey and flounced off into the family room and has been there ever since"

"Right, thank you for telling me I will go and speak to her now, I'll have my usual for breakfast please Gail, Egg White Omelette"

"Very good sir" Gail says and leaves the laundry room, I lean forward and grip the sink unit controlling my temper and working out what I am going to say. I leave the laundry room and head into the family room.

"Carla a word" I say sharply

I stand in front of her my feet planted wide and my hands on my hips I know I am intimidating her but at this moment I don't care. Bob rises from his seat and comes to stand beside me.

She looks up nervously at me.

"Firstly whoever is staying in my house has nothing whatsoever to do with you, secondly, Ana wanted Ray here so Ray is here, get over it, thirdly Ray wanted to be here, and finally I wanted him here. I will remind you, you are here on sufferance, I do not want you here, and I am not totally convinced Ana wants you here either, so while you are here you will remember there are children in this house and that I want a calm and happy atmosphere for my children, you forget that fact for one second and you will be on the next flight back to Georgia am I making myself clear?" Carla swallows hard and nods but says nothing. Bob carefully turns to me his hand outstretched.

"Good morning Christian and thank you once again for bringing us here" he says

I smile genuinely at him and shake his hand warmly, I want this man on side if he decides to bail I may end up stuck with the mother in law from hell. "No problem Bob it's good to have you here" I say emphasising the word you. Bob turns and with a filthy look at Carla disappears into the kitchen, I turn and follow him, as I walk into the kitchen I see him shaking Ray's hand and the two men are standing with Ana between them , I realise that although Ana doesn't really have many feelings either way with Bob he genuinely cares about her. Gail arrives with two plates full of food, she puts pancakes in front of Ray and I smile ruefully, I never took Ray for a pancake fan and I have a feeling Teddy has something to do with this, sure enough Ray turns to Teddy and speaks.

"So Teddy how I am supposed to eat these things then?" he asks

Teddy hands Ray the syrup and launches into a serious explanation of pancake consumption. Ray looks up at me.

"They were recommended so I had to try them, I have never had pancakes so this is a first" he grins

"Well I can recommend them, Gail's pancakes are superb" I say as I sit down, I see the other plateful of food was for Bob he went for Pancakes too and he is tucking in. I decide to include him in the conversation.

"They are good aren't they Bob?" I say

Bob nods a look of joy on his face, "These are fantastic" he enthuses, I turn my attention to Ana, who is still holding Phoebe.

"Have you eaten baby?" I ask

She nods, "I have, I have had an omelette, I had it earlier" she says as she says this Gail appears with my omelette.

"Thank you" I say as I tuck in.

Moments later the atmosphere in the room nosedives as Carla walks in, I see Ana immediately start to fidget nervously, both Ray and Bob reach out and simultaneously pat her gently, silently offering their support, she looks up at me and I silently send my support to her as well. Teddy is still thankfully oblivious. I want this sorted and soon, I do not like this atmosphere I finish my breakfast and stand going to Ana I gently take Phoebe from her arms and hold out my hand to Teddy who reluctantly he leaves Ray's side and comes with me.

"I won't be long baby" I say I leave and as soon as I am out of the room I call my mother.

"Christian darling how's Ana and the baby?" my mother as always makes me smile, I quickly outline the situation and she sounds worried.

"That doesn't seem a very healthy atmosphere to have the children in Christian" she says

"I know" I agree, "Which is why I was wondering if you would mind coming over, and watching them and keeping them out of the way and occupied, I want to be with Ana when the showdown inevitably comes plus Teddy has ignored Carla, he was more excited to see Gail which is hardly surprising as he doesn't know her, plus Gail was giving him pancakes but that's not the point I want her to see his reaction to you I know its stirring the pot a bit but I want to get it through to her, that her behaviour effects a lot of people"

"Of course I will darling, I am not at work today so I can stay as long as you need me".

"Thanks mom" I say and kill the call, I turn and realise Teddy has vanished, shit where has he gone now, I retrace my steps back to the kitchen and sure enough he is sitting on Ray's knee.

"Hey buddy come on let granddad finish his breakfast" I say

"Helping" he says earnestly

I look at Ray who has a wide grin on his face, "These pancakes are really delicious I think I may have to call in for breakfast more regularly but I am starting to struggle now and your son has gallantly volunteered to pick up the slack" Ray says.

I laugh "I see" I say "Well you know you are always welcome Ray" I add I know it's a cheap shot but I can't resist it. I turn to Teddy, "don't make yourself ill" I warn and Teddy shakes his head.

"I won't" he says.

I turn to Ana, "Baby, my mom is coming over to watch the children so we can all talk"

She beams and nods, and she turns to Teddy and delivers a cheap shot of her own, "Teddy, grandma is coming to see you today"

His face lights up and he cheers waving his arms above his head. I see Carla shift uncomfortably and I see a sly smile drift over Ana's face, I know exactly what she is doing.

When my mother arrives we couldn't have wished for a better performance, part of me feels a little bad for using my son's obvious affection for my mother but it really is a more powerful weapon than ranting at Carla could ever be, she is being rejected just as she rejected Ana.

Teddy has steadfastly ignored Carla all morning, probably because she is uncomfortable and sending out bad vibes to him but he has warmed to Bob, they bonded over the pancakes and it went from there, and now Carla and Ana are watching Teddy with his cars on the floor with me, I often wonder what my employees would say if they could see me on the floor playing with my son. Ray and Bob are also down on their knees playing with him. Carla tries to make an effort to join in.

"Teddy" she says carefully, he looks up at her warily

"Which is your favourite car?" she asks, he looks at me for guidance, and then to Ana.

"Go ahead buddy, tell Grandma Carla" I say, Teddy's face fills with confusion and just at that moment my mother walks in,

"No" he says "That's grandma" he points at my mother and squeals with joy and he stands and runs to her and he flings himself at my mothers open arms. The look on Carla's face is priceless, Ray hides his smug expression and Bob puts his head down clearly amused.

"Hello Teddy bear" my mother says and lifts him up smothering his cheek with kisses, "you are getting a heavy boy" she says.

"Probably the double helping of pancakes" Ray says with a grin. My mother smiles widely, and Ray immediately stands and greets my mother warmly, Bob stands and politely nods and mutters a word of greeting. My mother enthusiastically greets Bob and makes him immediately comfortable. Carla remains silent until my mother speaks to her.

"Hello Carla, how are you, did you have a good flight?" my mother is a wonderful person.

"Hello Grace, I'm fine thank you and yes it was a good flight, long but comfortable" she says, I frown as she never asks my mother how she is. I know I am being petty but it says everything about Carla she is submerged in a self pity party because of Teddy's reaction. My mother leads Teddy upstairs.

"Come on Teddy show me where Phoebe is" she says and Teddy willingly leads my mother away. I watch them go and then sit down beside Ana, I wrap my arm around her, Ray sits down beside Ana on the other side and takes her hand, this is huge for Ray, with his normally taciturn personality he is making a point and my respect for the man increases ten fold. Then I see an amazing thing, Bob deliberately takes the seat next to our sofa he is showing his support for Ana by removing himself from Carla's side.

Taylor walks in looks at us all and immediately walks out again, I know nobody else will disturb us now. I take charge. "Right I want this situation resolved it's not healthy and it's not pleasant" I start. Ana touches my hand and I look at her. "Yes baby?" I say.

"Christian let me" she whispers, I nod and shut my mouth, but I hold her tightly as she takes a deep breath.

"Mom, can you see what you are doing?" she asks calmly.

Carla looks defiant for a moment and then sags she nods, but no words come out of her mouth. Ana continues.

"Mom, it hurt me finding out the extent of your negligence but what hurts me most is your failure to acknowledge any responsibility for it and the lack of remorse. All my life I have been a afterthought with you, I have always loved you and forgiven you and believed that it was in someway my fault but Christian has made me realise its not my fault at all, I am a mother now and Teddy wasn't planned, and if I am honest I wouldn't have chosen to have a baby so soon as I did, but that was down to us, it wasn't his fault he didn't ask to be conceived and born so I love him and nurture him to the best of my ability, and he feels loved and cared for and wanted. Your indifference has continued on to the next generation, and that saddens me, you saw how Teddy reacted to Grace, that is because she loves him and wants to spend time with him, I'm not saying you should come and live in Seattle, but there is Skype you could easily talk to us and keep in touch with that, but you don't, you never even ring, we always have to ring you, Christian has offered to fly you over many times but you have always declined, we have flown to Georgia so many times, how many times have you come here, once, no twice – including this time" Ana stops and shrugs. "I don't know what more I can say mom, you know what, she looks up and stares at Carla in the eye, we gave Phoebe your name as her middle name, but right at this moment I am considering changing it to Grace, why should she have the name of a woman who doesn't give a damn about her or her mother, I would sooner her have the name of the wonderful woman whose heart is so huge she envelopes everyone in her love and affection.

I hear Carla gasp, finally something has gotten to her. I glance at Ray who is looking with unconcealed pride at Ana, and then to Bob who is nodding in agreement. I hadn't gotten round to talking to Ana about Phoebe's name but it seems Ana was thinking on the same lines as I was. The silence is overpowering and it is Bob who shatters it.

"For gods sake Carla talk to her, tell her what you told me, she needs to know what happened and how you feel she's your daughter for gods sake".

I see Carla stand and then come over and kneel down in front of Ana, I tighten my hold on her, but Ana gently removes herself from my grasp. I sit back and look at Ray, just as he turns to look at me. Carla grasps Ana's hand and tears start to fall.

"I am so sorry, I love you sweetheart I do, I really do don't ever doubt that I love you Ana, I feel so guilty about what I have done to you all these years, when your father died it spun me into a depression, if it hadn't been for Ray I would never have kept you or dug myself out. I am a weak woman, and its no excuse but I feel you should know the whole story. I'm not making excuses but it might give you some answers. My upbringing wasn't the best, hell it was the pits, my dad was abusive physically and mentally he was an alcoholic and he was a real mean drunk and he hit my mom , my mom finally had enough and just left, she just went one night without a word it was when I was eight, but she didn't take me with her and I never saw her again she just left, my mom wasn't the most maternal person in the world I really raised myself, she never really cared for me, she told me once she wished I'd never been born and she made it clear she had never really wanted me. She left me there with him, and I became his punch bag instead, I had to get out, I ran away many times, but the cops always found me and brought me back I just wanted someone to love me, someone to care about me, someone to take care of me, I had never had that you see, I dropped out of High School and planned my escape I got hold of a fake ID and managed to escape once and for all. I got a job as a waitress and I met your father and he cared about me, for the first time in my life someone loved me and cared about me, it felt so nice and I didn't want that feeling to end I knew he was a good honourable man so I set out to trap him, I deliberately got pregnant with you, I wanted to hang on to the happiness I'd found, I didn't want it to end, so when he died I felt as though I had been punished for my dirty trick and that turned into resentment towards you, but I was ill, please believe me sweetheart I wasn't thinking straight, I was in such a bad place, then Ray came into my life and gave me the lifeline I desperately craved he was good with you and he took us both on I just let him care for you, I had no idea how to be a mother, as I had had no role model, I carried on and made one mistake after another throughout my life, but the only thing I ever got right was you sweetheart, you are the best thing I have ever done, yes it was a dirty trick to trap a good man but the result was you and you were and always have been perfect you are so smart, sweet and caring and everything I wish I was and that is where my next problem lies, you have made such a success of your life my darling, I am so proud of you, but it also spectacularly highlights my own failures and I realise what a shitty mother I have been and I just feel sometimes when I get like that, that you are better off without me, better off with your little family and with Ray, and that I am someone who will contaminate that perfect world you have created, that is why I have always been absent during the big moments of your life, I didn't want to contaminate it with my presence you deserve so much more than what I can ever give you and so I feel its best I just stay out of the way, I have done so many bad things in my life but making you was the best thing I ever did, no mother could be more proud of the woman you have become and its thanks to Ray not me he was the one who cared for you and nurtured you, I have done nothing for you apart from bring you into the world and for that lack of care and love I am so, so sorry" Tears are flowing down Ana's cheeks and also down Carla's I am feeling pretty wiped myself after hearing all that, Ray looks stunned.

"Carla" I say gently, she looks at me "Carla this isn't healthy, Ana loves you and needs you" I remember what Ana said to me once when we were talking about my birth mother, _She was a shitty mother and you loved her...forgive her Christian _I can see now, Carla has also had a lifetime of crap dumped on her at an early age, and much to my surprise I suddenly feel compassion for her. I think before I speak I want to get this right. "Carla, you need therapy for these feelings. You also need help - you and Ana together to build a relationship and get over the ghosts of the past".

She nods, I take a deep breath I am determined to help not only Ana but this woman who I have severely misjudged someone who is crying out for help. "Would you like me to set up a meeting with my shrink John Flynn he is the best there is?" I ask gently, I am surprised when she shakes her head.

"No, thank you Christian, I appreciate the thought, but I need to work this out in my head before I can start seeing and speaking to strangers" she turns and looks at Ana, "But I wanted my baby girl to know I have really always loved her even if I didn't always show it and I promise I will try and be a better mother moving on" she stops as Ana flings her arms around Carla's neck and Carla holds her tightly. I stand and so do Bob and Ray, Bob pats Carla's shoulder as we tactfully remove ourselves from the room.

"Wow" I say when we are alone in the kitchen.

Bob looks at me, "She broke down and told me all that after the first phone call you made to her when Ana was in hospital, she has been struggling with it ever since, which is why she has been lashing out so much, she blames others when she knows its all down to her, but she needs understanding rather than condemnation, she just wants someone to love and care for her, she is still a little eight year old girl who's mom walked out on her and abandoned her to her abusive father".

Ray shakes his head, "I knew a little of it, but I had no idea" he mutters

Bob looks at me, "Please give her one final chance Christian, I have a feeling she may, no she will screw up again not today but some day she will screw up but don't give up on her please".

I nod, I know now how she feels and how her mind works, she hates herself for her choices, and for inflicting those choices on others, I am seeing parallels with my own life and I have one thing to be thankful to Carla for, if she hadn't made the decision to get herself pregnant, I would never have met the most wonderful woman on earth, and I definitely wouldn't be the man I am today so as far as I concerned she has a free pass for as long as she needs it.

"She has her chance" I say quickly, and Bob sags he shakes my hand warmly, I turn to Ray who nods, I feel good about this, the moment is broken by Taylor who comes in quickly.

"Sir, Elizabeth Morgan has been seen hanging around the gate"

Oh shit, here we go again.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Fucking hell, it doesn't rain but what it pours when I think we have one situation sorted another one raises its ugly head. I sigh and run my hands through my hair, "She's here now?" I ask

"Yes Sir" Taylor replies

Bob and Ray are staring at me, unsure of what to say and if they should say anything, Ray's face changes as he realises who we are talking about, he turns to Taylor.

"Jason, would it be possible for me to borrow one of your guns? If you are going out to get this woman I want to help you, I am ex army so I know what I am doing, just give me an order and I will follow it".

Taylor smiles and looks at me for direction, I nod, it can't hurt and we could perhaps use Ray as bait. A plan starts to form in my mind.

"Taylor give Ray a gun", I don't like that idea but he needs to be protected in case something bigger is going on, I turn to Ray. "Ray we are going to try and get Elizabeth Morgan in here so we can find out what is happening and what her game is, like we discussed when we were in Aspen"

Ray nods "How are we going to do this?" he asks, and I sigh and rub my eyes with my finger.

"I have no fucking idea, we really need Ana as well but I don't want to disturb her while she is with Carla and I really don't want Carla getting in the way." Ray nods.

Bob looks from me to Ray and back again, "I could keep Carla occupied if that would help?" he asks "if Ana is needed then well..." he says.

I turn to Taylor, the idea taking shape in my mind, "Right, make sure Ryan is with my mother and children he is not to leave them for anything, Sawyer will go with Ana and Ray at a discreet distance so not to spook Morgan, so she thinks they are alone, they will be on the grounds so she will think there will be no need for security. Taylor I want you with me and Prescott and we will come in afterwards.

Taylor nods and leaves the room, Bob, Ray and I quickly go through our ruse to separate Carla from Ana and then I head back out to the family room where Carla and Ana are sitting together talking. They are both tear stained but they both look happy and I hate to disturb them now that they are finally sorting things out between them. Ana looks up at me and she realises something is going on, I turn to Carla, "Carla I think Bob is looking for you he wants to have a chat with you, he's a bit worried about you" I say, she immediately stands but then pauses and looks at Ana.

"Is it ok if I go I think we have talked everything through?" she asks her, I hold my breath I wasn't expecting this, so I quickly step in.

"Baby, I think Ray wants to talk to you too" I look meaningfully at Ana and she nods.

"Sure mom" she says with a smile and Carla leaves the room, as soon as she is gone I sit beside Ana and quickly outline what is happening, and what we want to do. Ray enters the room and heads straight for us.

"Are you ok with this Annie?" he asks carefully

Ana nods, "Are the children safe?" she asks I smile at her.

"Yes baby they are upstairs safe with my mother and Ryan" I say, she nods at me.

"Ok lets do this" she says and I watch as she leaves the house with Ray, Sawyer follows a few moments later and I watch from the window as they head down the driveway. Taylor and Prescott join me and we head out to take our places.

I have a clear view from my hiding place of the gate and sure enough I see Elizabeth Morgan pacing around staring in, her eyes nearly pop out of her head as she sees Ray and Ana walking seemingly casually around the driveway. She calls out to Ana and I see Ana freeze, Ray puts his arm around her and they move closer, that's right baby take your time, I hear Ray asking if this is a good idea and should we call for someone, and Ana says no, then I hear Ray tell her that I won't be happy about this and I smile at the irony of that comment. I'm not happy about this one little bit but I trust Ray will protect Ana with his life. I don't hear what Morgan says or the conversation which passes next but then I see Ana pressing the button to release the gate, good baby, get her inside and then we have her. I see Ray discreetly step in front of Ana as Morgan steps forward, this is killing me but I know I have to stay still and hidden until she is inside and the gate is secure, I watch and as soon as the gate is secure, Taylor presses a button on a control he has.

"The gates are locked now sir" he whispers, "if she tries to press the button to escape it won't work" I nod, we have her, now to find out what she wants.

"Ok Taylor do your thing" I say. Taylor nods and immediately speaks into a speaker on his wrist.

"Sawyer its go go go" As he says this I see Sawyer appear running towards Ana and Ray, immediately Morgan turns and presses the button on the gate and when nothing happens she panics and tries to run, Ray grabs her and pulls a gun from his back and holds it to her head, speaking to her. Ana is screaming at Ray and Taylor and Prescott leave me to secure her. I wait and then leave my hiding place and run towards Ana, I wrap my arm around her at stare at Morgan. She looks petrified, which is hardly surprising as she has a gun to her head.

"This is Ana's father" I say to Morgan and gesture towards Ray, "I think he may still be a little pissed at you after your involvement with Hyde" I add sarcastically.

I see a smile spread over Ray's face, "Daddy put the gun down" Ana says, she is putting on a show worthy of an Oscar.

Ray lowers the gun and Taylor steps forward and takes it from him. Ray winks at Taylor I think he enjoyed getting a bit of payback for Morgan's part in Ana's kidnap; he would never have hurt her he just wanted her scared. Taylor and Prescott step forward and along with Sawyer tie her hands together with a cable tie and lead her to the house we head into the security office via the side entrance so not to walk into Carla who Bob is keeping occupied in the kitchen. It has all gone unnervingly easily. I wonder what Morgan wants and whether she will truthfully and willingly tell us.

"Ok talk" Taylor snaps as he sits her down and leans over her.

"Jack wants to see Ana" she stammers

We all stare at her incredulously; we hadn't expected that for one moment.

"NO FUCKING WAY" I bellow, Ana touches my arm and immediately I start to calm, I remember where I am and that my children are somewhere in the house.

"He is so sorry, he realises he was totally out of line and wrong, he is getting help and he wants to apologise to Ana personally, he knows he was wrong and he is trying to make things right"

We all stare at her, not quite believing this, is she as deranged as he is or has he manipulated her so much that she believes him, I can't decide which it is.

"Have you been to see him?" Ana asks.

She nods, "Yes, he wrote to me and to all the other women he abused sexually he is trying to sort his life out and part of that is to see his victims face to face and apologise to them and try and make amends for what he did".

"Is that why you approached my sister?" I ask

"Yes, I saw her at the fair with her boyfriend and your son, I didn't mean to frighten her I wanted to talk to her, but she was understandably afraid, I didn't mean to scare her please believe me". I don't believe this for one second, that wasn't the impression I got from what Mia told me and I would sooner believe my sister than this woman in front of me.

"Has he apologised to you?" Ana asks

"Yes he has, profusely, for all the twisted things he did and for getting me involved with the kidnap plot, he wasn't thinking straight and he was ill, he realises that now and he wants to make amends and apologise".

Ana looks at me she isn't convinced either I can see it in her eyes. Morgan continues.

"I don't expect you to believe me, I really don't, I didn't to start with, I thought it was some kind of trick something to try and get me on side again but he was so remorseful when I did go and see him it wasn't the arrogant Jack you will remember he was totally different, broken" she says.

I pull my Blackberry from my pocket and call Welch "Welch fax a copy of that letter Jack Hyde sent to Ana – the one which got past security that Miss Morgan hand delivered". I hang up and moments later the ancient fax machine spits out a copy of the letter. Ana shudders as she sees it.

I pull it off and hand it to Elizabeth Morgan, "If he is so sorry explain this, this is the letter you hand delivered to Grey Publishing for him and which got past security to Ana she rang me in tears that day because of this, does that seem like the words of a man who is repentant?" I spit at her.

She reads the letter and her face contorts into disgust, "I...I ...I don't understand" she stammers.

"I can send for the file if you want to see more, the ones which didn't get past security, there is plenty more of the same, they arrive every week" I say

"He used me" she says "he told me it was a letter of apology he wanted to get it to Ana personally, he said he had tried to get letters to her but he guessed with your security they would never reach her, so he asked me to try, he said it didn't matter if it didn't work but he wanted to try".

She looks up and looks around the room at the faces staring at her.

"He used me, he made me think he was sorry I feel so stupid" she starts to cry. Taylor rolls his eyes and places a glass of water in front of her and a box of tissues.

"How does he get the letters out, surely they are read?" Ana asks

That's a really good point and one which had never occurred to me. Elizabeth Morgan looks at Ana and realization dawns on her face.

"Oh my god" she says

"What?" we all say in unison.

"It was a warden who gave me the letter from Jack when I left after visiting him it didn't come in the post, he is obviously bypassing the mail system somehow, and has someone who is helping him to do it, he told me that he wanted me to deliver the letter and then as I came out the warden handed it to me, I thought nothing of it at the time".

"Can you describe him?" Taylor asks

Elizabeth Morgan looks at Taylor carefully as she thinks, "Erm, yes, he was tall very tall, I mean I would estimate Mr Grey here is over 6 foot and I would say he was taller than him, erm, dirty blonde hair, cut in a military style like yours, he was well built but not muscular like he had gone to seed if you get what I mean, I would say he was in his mid to late 40's oh and he had a small birthmark on his neck on the left hand side one of those port stain ones it was about this size" she holds up her fingers in a circular shape, "That's all I remember" she says.

Taylor smiles, "That's more than enough" he says

"It's funny every time I went to visit Jack he was the one there, I mean when I saw other prisoners as I passed them, their guards changed but he was constant, I didn't think anything of it at the time" she says.

I decide to get some information, I call Barney, "Barney I need you to access the employment records for the prison officers at the state prison" I quickly give him the description of the guy we are looking for and he gets straight on it. About ten minutes later my phone rings.

"Barney" I say as I answer

"Sir, it was a piece of piss getting in, I have never known such a lack of security I am emailing the details and picture of the guy I think you are after"

"Thanks Barney" I say gratefully

"No problem sir, next time give me a bit more of a challenge" he says with a laugh.

I laugh and hang up shaking my head. I go the laptop on Taylor's desk and access my email I spin the laptop around to Morgan.

"Is that our guy?" I ask her

She peers at the picture and nods. I take my phone out and call Welch, and explain the email I am forwarding to him and ask him to do a background check on the guy and see who we are dealing with, and what link he has with Hyde.

Elizabeth Morgan is sitting watching everything happening around her, she look bewildered. "Excuse me, can I ask why Jack has such a grudge against you, is it because you got him fired from SIP?" she asks looking from me to Ana and back again.

I look at Ana and she stands and grips my hand. I sigh, "No it goes further back than that, I knew him when I was a child" I say sharply and turn away.

She gasps and puts her hand to her mouth, "Oh my god, are you the one he called baby bird?" I spin around and stare at her.

"What do you mean, what did he tell you?" I snap

She shakes her head, "It was no secret he drank, heavily, he was bitter about something and I asked him what was wrong, and he said life and the universe and the way it had screwed him over, I asked him what had happened to make him so angry, and he said when he was a kid a baby bird had come and stolen his life, I was confused and he said he was in a foster home and this little runt of a kid came into the same home, and that his nickname was baby bird and then he said but that baby bird turned into a fucking cuckoo who stole the life I should have had, I didn't understand what he meant but now you say that, and it is public knowledge that you were adopted by the Grey family from Detroit and Jack was from Detroit, it all suddenly clicked in my head, and then when you got him fired he mentioned the baby bird thing again, but I didn't take that much notice. She stops and looks at me. "I am so sorry Mr Grey I had no idea he was so fucked up about everything and I know its none of my business but why did he say you stole his life?" I shake my head and turn away.

Ana stands, "Its not true, Jack was in a foster home because he was in and out of trouble as a child but Christian was an orphan, Jack had a home to go back to which he did" she stops, "he is a twisted man" she continues. Elizabeth Morgan nods in agreement.

"He is" she agrees.

We watch Elizabeth Morgan leave, I turn to Taylor, "Do you believe her?" I ask

Taylor shrugs at me "Not sure, she seemed genuine enough but who can tell?" he says.

"No" Ray says adamantly, we all turn and look at him in surprise. I raise my eyebrows in question. He carries on explaining, "She was saving her ass just like she did to avoid prison when she was involved in the kidnap plot, the way she tried to run when Sawyer appeared, and when I grabbed her she muttered something about she knew this was a lousy idea and Jack should get over it already, her reaction when you showed her the fax of that letter, I was watching her, she wasn't surprised, yes she made all the right noises but her eyes said something different, the shock and revulsion just wasn't there, like she knew what he had written".

We all stare at Ray and he shrugs "I was there on interrogations on a few missions, I could spot the liars a mile off, they always had me in the room to observe, it was kind a like a gift I had".

Ray looks embarrassed to be the centre of attention and wanders out of the room, Ana looks at me and follows him.

"What do you think?" I say to Taylor

He looks a little taken back by what he just heard, "Its feasible" he hedges and shrugs, "She could have sent us on to the prison warden to take the heat from Jack for a while and divert attention from her, but then again all three could be in on it together".

"What do you suggest we do, I don't want this carrying on, I want that scum out of our lives for good and anyone who is linked with him" I am getting agitated, we seem no further forward than we were. Taylor looks at the information on the Prison Warden and I see his mind working.

"Leave it with me sir" he says and he gathers up the paperwork, I nod and leave the room.

I leave the security office and go in search of Ana, I find her outside with Ray I watch them in deep conversation as I walk towards her they stop talking, "Don't stop on my account" I say.

Ana smiles brightly at me and wraps her arms around my waist, I pull her close and plant a small kiss on the top of her head, I turn to Ray, "Thank you for helping us out there Ray" I say.

He simply nods and walks away, I watch him go and turn to Ana, she sighs, "He's worried, after the kidnap and everything he is scared that she is going to try something, he thinks she isn't altogether stable, and now that she knows we are on to her...he's just worried about me". She stops

"I will protect you baby, you know that, don't you?" I say

Ana nods "Yes I know" she says.

oooOOOooo

A week later and we are back to normal, Carla and Bob have gone back to Georgia which I am so pleased about, but I am also glad that Ana and her mother have managed to repair their relationship, I am not convinced that Carla is a changed woman and I'm pretty sure she will hurt Ana again at some point but she has me and my family to support her. Ana isn't convinced that she is a changed woman either but she could prove us all wrong, and I hope she does for Ana's sake as she deserves so much more than what Carla has given her. Taylor is still working on the prison warden he has got in touch with an old army buddy who now works as prison warden and made discreet queries about the guy Morgan pointed the finger at, I am still waiting for Welch to get back to me on what he has managed to dig up on him. The longer this goes on the more impatient, uptight and agitated I am getting.

I am sitting at work trying to think everything through, it is my first week back and I am missing Ana and the children terribly, I just can't concentrate, as my mind finally switches to the contract in front of me which I have to go through and authorise, my phone rings.

"Grey" I snap

Welch begins to speak in an amiable tone, "Good morning Sir, I have some interesting information on our Prison guard"

I immediately sit up and Welch has my full attention, "go on" I say.

"Well...it seems he is very well acquainted with Mr Hyde, his name is Joseph Spinner and he is Hyde's cousin, the son of Hyde's mothers older sister, a fact which I am sure he hasn't made public knowledge, it took me a while to find the link as it had been buried so well but in the end I found it, so I have been digging a little more and I enlisted Barney's help, to hack into various CCTV cameras and get backdated footage and it seems he has been getting cosy with Miss Morgan, his car has been parked outside her apartment several times and he has been seen talking to her on numerous occasions, Taylor is trying to get his army buddy to see if he can provide anything but Barney also hacked into the prison security CCTV system and Mr Spinner does seem to spend an unusually large amount of time with Hyde, so going on what we have, it would appear the three of them are in on it together".

I am speechless, "Thank you Welch" is all I can manage to get out, I hang up and call in Taylor, he tells me he already knows as Welch has told him. He has a folder in his hand.

"I have heard from my army buddy, he has been doing some snooping for me to try and found out anything and he has come up with quite a bit, Joseph Spinner has been helping Hyde with his parole request, he has been coaching him and making out he's now the arch angel Gabriel. Its not a good situation and he is seeing Morgan personally, which leads me to believe, she is either working with him and Hyde or she is being totally manipulated and after what Mr Steele said I would lean towards the former". He stops and places the file in front of me which contains all the information he has gleaned from his old army friend.

I lean back in my chair and sigh, "Could it be possible that Hyde is manipulating them both, his cousin to help with the parole hearing, although that is years away and then through him to Morgan?"

Taylor nods, "it's possible sir, anything is possible but I have a feeling that there is more to it than that, after all remember what Miss Morgan said about Hyde apologising to all his victims, well my mate said there has been a steady stream of women coming to the prison to see him at his request and they have all be reluctant to come but have left looking happier, so it seems that part at least was true, I think we should just treat this like any other threat, he can't personally hurt us while he is in prison, I have set up a restraining order on Miss Morgan so should she try and contact Mrs Grey again we can step in and I have also prepared one for Mr Spinner ". I nod feeling more confident but still a little off centre that this situation hasn't been resolved.

"Thank you Taylor" I say and he leaves I think for a few more moments and then turn my attention back to the contract, I really have to shake this off and concentrate on work now.

I spend the rest of the day ploughing through the mountain of contracts and agreements which need my final say so, Ros has done a brilliant job while I have been off with Ana but these all need my input to finalise them. I carry on and get back into my groove, I don't look up again until early evening, I am shocked to see it is nearly 6:30 when I do glance at the time. I immediately call Ana.

"Hi baby I'll be home soon I've been so busy" I say

"Don't worry Christian" she says "I expected you to be late you have just had nearly 3 weeks off, you can't have that amount of time out of the office and not pay for it when you do go back" she is so understanding, I smile, what did I do to deserve this woman?

"Ok baby, I will be home soon" I say smiling down the phone as I hear Phoebe gurgling, Ana must be holding her whilst talking to me, I hear Teddy's voice in the background and my smile gets bigger, life is good.

Suddenly I hear Sawyers urgent tone, "Mrs Grey I need you to come with me NOW" I stiffen.

"What's happening baby?" I ask immediately on alert, realise I am on my feet and my free hand is running through my hair.

"I don't know" she replies but I hear the panic in her voice, and I can tell she is moving I want to keep her on the line so I know she is alright but I also want to be with her personally, I try and get a grip of myself.

"Baby put Sawyer on" I say and I hear muffled scuffling noises and then Sawyer's clear voice comes over the line.

"Sir this isn't a good time, I need to get Mrs Grey and the children to the panic room, please hang up and let me do my job" he has never spoken to me like that before and I know something has happened, I know immediately where they are, they are Escala, why the hell are they at Escala? I do as he asks and I hang us as I do so Taylor barges in.

"Sir we have a situation" he says calmly

"Talk now" I demand

"Mrs Grey wanted to go to Escala, she was accompanied by Sawyer and Ryan as she took the children with her, it appears they were followed.

"Are Ana and the children safe?" I croak, I can barely get the words out of my mouth as the fear is overwhelming me.

Taylor nods, "yes sir, Ryan and Sawyer acted quickly to get them into the panic room, before apprehending the suspect, it was Mr Spinner sir, it appears to have been a crude kidnap attempt, ill thought out almost spur of the moment decision".

"How did he gain entry?" I demand

Taylor shakes his head, "I don't know sir but believe me I will find out"

"Where are Ana and the children now?" I ask

"Still at Escala, waiting for us to arrive" I immediately move towards the door and we head towards our apartment.

When I arrive I see Spinner bound and hog tied on the floor, spewing obscenities at Sawyer who grabs some duct tape and slaps it over his mouth, I feel my temper rising but my main concern is Ana and the children, I head straight to the panic room and see Ana looking petrified holding Phoebe close with Teddy sitting on the floor playing with his cars, he looks unconcerned and for that I am grateful, Ana is trying to keep a hold on her emotions so not to frighten Teddy and I immediately crouch down and pull her into my arms.

"It's ok baby, I'm here" I whisper

I feel the tension release and she rests her head on my shoulder. "I want to talk to him" she says.

"No" I say immediately

"Yes" she replies and shakes free of my hold, she gently places Phoebe into my arms and stands to leave.

"No Ana don't" I say I am beside myself, I see Taylor at the door and as Ana goes to walk past him I blurt out "Just stop her". Teddy looks up and grins at me. Ana puts her hand up in warning to Taylor.

"I need to" she says and after a shot look at me Taylor nods and escorts Ana out, I am beside myself I feel my anger coursing through me she has defied me again, not only that my own CPO has defied me, what the hell is going on here?

I sit with my children, trying to keep a calm facade for their sakes and moments later, Ana returns, "Ok we can go now" she says. I stare at her unable to believe what I am hearing.

"I needed to be in the same room as him so he breached his restraining order that way we could have him detained" she explains calmly, I shake my head, how the hell does she think of these things at these times she is so together and strong, she knew that because Sawyer and Ryan had done such an excellent job he hadn't actually breached his restraining order by getting close enough.

"He has gone now the police have just taken him away" she says I see she is trembling, I stand and pull her into my side and we leave as a family and head home.

After a briefing with Ryan and Sawyer we have dinner, I help bath my children and we put them to bed, I read Teddy his story and watch as he falls asleep I smile as I see his carefree expression, he will never know the pain and suffering I experienced as a child, no child ever should and after today I am more determined than ever that I will do everything it takes to keep my family safe.

I head downstairs and see Ana curled up on the sofa with a book she looks up and smiles at me. I glance at the book she is reading, Bleak House by Charles Dickens, she lays it down as I sit down beside her and pull her into my arms.

"I am so proud of you baby" I say. "Out of interest why were you at Escala?" I ask.

Ana goes red, "I wanted to pick up a few bits from the playroom" she mutters.

I feel myself harden, "but why did you take the children?" I ask.

"We were out in the city at that point as I'd just dropped by at the office and I thought while I was in the city I could pop into Escala for what I wanted to get" she says.

Taylor interrupts, "sir I have some news, Mr Spinner has admitted to attempted kidnap he said he had heard from Hyde about Mrs Grey and he is maintaining that Hyde knows nothing of this and wasn't involved". I snort in disbelief.

"Quite" Taylor says "He was working with Elizabeth Morgan and he has dropped her in it, so because of that she is now on her way to jail, as she had a suspended sentence for her part in the previous kidnap, but because she has broken her terms of the plea bargain she has now been arrested and is serving the sentence she would have got before, she was found outside waiting for Spinner in a van with enough things in it to prove she was implicated, so taking that into account it would appear that this whole thing was Hyde getting revenge on Morgan for escaping jail and testifying against him previously, and Mrs Grey was just the bait to achieve that goal".

"But why did Spinner agree to it he has lost his job now, for what?" I ask

"It appears Mr Spinner had lost his job anyway, for gross misconduct his hearing was this morning, he was caught stealing from and manhandling prisoners in an ...erm sexual manner" Taylor looks disgusted, "He had nothing to lose, so it would appear he put in place the plan he had concocted with Hyde to nail Morgan once and for all, she has been played but Hyde claims to know nothing of any of this and is doing his best to remain squeaky clean, he maintains the only contact he has had with Morgan is to apologise for what he did to her along with all the other women he abused and he is apparently shocked and appalled that she would do this, and he is incredibly hurt and betrayed that his own family also betrayed him, and he would like to apologise to Mrs Grey for the distress that all this has caused her". Taylor says the last part with sarcasm dripping from his tone of voice.

"What happens now?" Ana asks

Taylor shakes his head, "Nothing its over, Morgan is now in prison for breaching the terms of the plea bargain, Hyde sits out the rest of his sentence and Spinner will be tried in due course he has been denied bail and is currently sitting in a cell".

"Will we have to testify?" Ana asks, looking terrified, she hated every moment of the Hyde trial.

Taylor shakes his head, "Not sure, possibly, possibly not, we may get away with just sending Sawyer and Ryan". He smiles kindly at Ana who nods.

"Thank you Taylor" I say and with that he nods and leaves us alone.

"I hope I don't have to testify" Ana whispers, I pull her close and hold her tightly.

"I know baby, its not pleasant, but I have faith in you if you do have to and you know I will be right there beside you to support you, but I really don't think it will come to that".

"I hope not, but its nice to know you have faith in me" she says with a grin as she rests her head on my shoulder.

I laugh, "baby you should know by now I have blind faith you"

_One month later_

"Sir, I have just got word from Sawyer, Spinner has been found guilty it's over Sir, they are all in prison and out of our hair" Taylor smiles at me and I immediately call Ana.

"Baby, we got the result we wanted, you didn't have to testify and everything is good" I say as I stop and listen I hear a sigh of relief.

"Oh Christian" she says I can hear the relief in her voice, we were so pleased that she didn't have testify and Sawyer and Ryan did us proud, At last the spectre of Jack Hyde seems to have lift from our lives, I hope it stays that way.

**THE END**


End file.
